We lay in silence, our breathing not yet ready to return to its normal rhythm. He wasn't kidding when he said he'd make it great for me too. Of course, it hurt like hell at first, and I couldn't suppress my anguished screams. I tried biting on my knuckle, but that just put me in even more pain. Though it didn't hurt all the way through, it stopped hurting after a few minutes. Then it started feeling... Different. I could tell Mark was enjoying himself, I could see it in his eyes, and in the way he bit his lip. He wasn't nearly as loud as me, but he wasn't quiet either.

When it ended, he'd pulled me into his arms, turning on his side so his nose was right next to my ear. His lips were against my temple for a split second before his gasping breath blew across my face. I stared straight up at the ceiling, not sure what to think about this feeling... Both mental and physical.

"Sean," he says softly after a while.

"Mark," I reply, feeling a twist in my gut when his arms tighten around me.

"How..." He looks at me, begging me to read his mind so he won't have to say it.

I smile faintly, "you definitely kept your promise."

A huge grin breaks across his face. "I am the king."

"What does that make me?" I mumble, hoping he'll take that as a hint and tell me if we're going out or not.

"Why, you're the jester of course, you ridiculous man," he continues to smile at me, sitting up and pulling the sheet around his waist.

"Heh," I fake a laugh and sit up, facing the wall. I can feel his eyes on me, but I don't care. I really want to ask him what we are. Is he just using me to sate his needs? No, I quickly dismiss the thought. Mark isn't like that. His fingers delicately move up my spine, resting on my shoulder.

"Thank you."

"Thank me?" I turn and face him, my feet still dangling off the bed. "For?"

"Being amazing." I snort at this and stand, gathering my clothes in my arms.

"Leaving already?" He whines.

"Yeah," I huff, jumping as I pull up my jeans, "you need to get some sleep or pack or something." He stands and comes over to me, the sheet dropping to the ground. He puts his arms around me, hugging me while I button my pants. "Mark, I gotta put my shirt on..."

"No," he murmurs. "I like it like this."

I blush, but gently push him off. He stares at me for a moment, then starts putting on his clothes too. "Why are you getting dressed?" I ask him as I zip my jacket.

"I'm walking you down," he says as if it were obvious.

"Oh, you don't have to do that."

"Well I'm going to," he doesn't bother shutting off the light when he follows me out. Not so surprisingly, we see that short man from earlier in the elevator. Suddenly, Marks hand on my shoulder feels like a huge neon, (or should I say 'rainbow,') beacon. I try to avoid his eyes, but they're burning into my face as if to say, "I know what you did, I know what you did." I frown at him, hoping Mark doesn't notice the man's glare. We've disrupted his sleep for two nights now.

"I'm going to miss you," Mark smiles.

"Me too..." I mentally kick myself for not asking him if we were together before we left the room.

"I was just going to fill out a complaint about you two," the man says awkwardly.

"Oh," Mark takes his hand off my shoulder. "Sorry... Uh." My face feels like it's on fire. Oh god, he definitely heard us, heard me.

"Don't worry, I won't make a complaint if you promise this was the last night. I need to get some sleep, y'know."

"Uh, yeah, yeah. This was the last night. He's going back to Ireland tomorrow."

I stare at Mark, beads of sweat forming along my eyebrow. He smiles apologetically at me. The elevator dings as the doors slide open, my heart drops. This is goodbye.

"Uh, bye," I start out and he spins me around, hugging me with one arm.

"Talk on Skype-" he breathes. The doors close, leaving me in an empty hallway.

Back in my room, I strip down again and turn on the shower. I have to go home tomorrow. I can't wake up and go to breakfast with Mark, meet the guys, and take pictures with endless people. I have to go home tomorrow. When the water is hot enough, I step in the tub and close the white plastic curtain. Agh, god damn it. I should have talked more. I should have thanked Mark and everyone... It's too late now, he's probably asleep. And tomorrow he'll be on the plane, and then unpacking and recording... He's going to be busy. I'll wait until he texts me, if he does.

After I dry off, I don't bother putting anything on and crawl into bed. I expected to fall asleep instantly, but I can't. I can't stop thinking. Just last year, I would have been beyond shocked to be here. This is a dream come true. I still don't feel like I really belong here, with the more popular guys. I'm not nearly as great as they are. But tomorrow, I won't be here. Tomorrow, I'll be back in my apartment... Alone, again. Tears threaten, and I let them drip onto my pillow. God damn it. I've been living alone for a little while now, but it's never hit me this hard.

~~~~~~~~~~

Back in my apartment, I climb into bed and sigh. It smells different here. Am I really that used to Mark's smell? Or is it just America's smell? I hide my face in my hands and take deep breaths. You'll be okay, Jack. You're not alone. You never will be.

I kick my shoes off and snuggle in deeper to the blankets. It's cold. I wish I had someone to keep me warm... Someone like Mark? No, not like Mark. I want him. Would he want to cuddle with me and keep me warm? I have a feeling he would. Does this make me gay? Am I... Gay? Is he? Or are we bi? Or what? What is going on right now? Why does my heart race at the thought of his perfect, hard chest and broad shoulders, his pants unbuttoned and slid down to reveal his waist line and... And...

I jump when my phone rings. It's a text from him. "Skype," is all it says. I take a quick selfie for instagram and start up my computer before opening Skype. I'm absolutely exhausted but oh well... Five missed calls, geez. Two messages: "Are you home?" and "We need to talk." I swallow nervously before I press call.

"Jack, I'm not gay," he says the second I see his face. My stomach drops but there's something in his eyes...

"Oh, well, Mark. Okay, if you say so," I pause, hoping he'll be okay with me teasing him, "but, I mean, you seemed pretty gay back at the hotel." I smile as crimson creeps up his face. He's still frowning, but at least I've let him know that there will be no forgetting of our time at PAX.

"Come on, Jack... That's not fair," he mutters, looking at his desk. Oh, this is fair, Mark. This is very fair.

"In all seriousness though... Are you gay?"

He looks up with a sheepish expression, "are you?"

"I'm whatever you want me to be, Mark."

He clenches his jaw but he doesn't look away. I can tell he's thinking really hard about something again, like he was in the taxi. I've definitely sparked something in him.

"I want you to be mine," his deep voice resounds in my ears, making my stomach fill with butterflies.

The heat flares up in my chest, "As long as you're mine..."

We stare at each other, and I swear he can hear my heart pounding.

"Jack, I," he bites his lower lip and smiles lightly. "Ah, I... We're still friends..."

"Nothing more?" He shakes his head at me. "But you just said-"

"I mean, I want you. And you want me, but... We're so far, and the time is- agh."

"So, what?" I ask a bit more harsh than I mean to.

"So, well, let's be friends, for now."

"What if- girlfriend..."

"We can't date anyone."

"Mark, I'm not single," I rub my temples and moan.

"Oh, don't do that..." He mutters, my moan clearly affecting him. I grin weakly, realizing my power. "I know you're not single," he continues, "but I don't want anyone else to have you."

"So what should I do? This," I gesture at him, "what we did is cheating. Should I... Mark, I... still love her." God damn it, I do, I still love her. But I can't do this to her. I have a choice to make...

My words hit hard. "Just stay with her, for now, then," he says, resentment obvious in his voice. "But you can't tell her or anyone about what we did."

"Like I'd tell anyone anyway," my cheeks burn.

He smiles evilly, "are you coming to Seattle?"

"Oh, definitely!" I ignore the clenching feeling in my lower stomach, "I really had such a great time."

"Can we do that again?" He pleads.

I take a deep breath before answering shakily, "yes..."

"Mm," he looks at my shirt, "I can't wait."

"Neither can I..." My stomach clenches again, an uncomfortable feeling between my legs making me blush even darker.

"So, we're not dating... Technically, but what would you call this?"

"Friends with benefits?"

"No," he shakes his head, his thick black hair falling in his face. He pushes it back and licks his lips. "We're more than friends. But not quite... Boyfriends..." He almost whispers the word, as if someone could hear him.

"So what are we? Caught in limbo?"

"Caught in limbo. I like that."

"I like you," I murmur, hoping he won't hear. But of course, he does.

"What?" His voice rises. Even his forehead is red now. "Did you just-"

"N-no," I stutter, blushing like mad. It's starting to get too hot in here.

"You did, didn't you?" He asks softer.

"I..." I don't look at him and tug on my sleeves.

"Sean," he says my real name so gently, I get chills. I look up at him and he smiles beautifully. "I like you too..." He waits a moment before adding, "And this isn't something we can blame on Fireball."