exactly one year, three months and sixteen days earlier i would probably be in my bed, eating unhealthy food, cursing life and crying to myself.

today, it's not very different. i'm still in bed, eating unhealthy food, cursing life and crying to myself but i often find my face smushed against unwashed golden fur, tear drops making it taste slightly salty and my sobs a little muted because maple's stomach is almost always growling.

exactly one year, three months and sixteen days earlier i would probably be indoors for weeks and weeks and procrastinate over the simple activity of stepping outside my house and looking at the sunshine willingly.

today, it's not very different. i still would not look at sunshine willingly, but atleast now there's a little fat ball of fur who will constantly tug on her leash to make me step outside.

exactly one year, three months and sixteen days earlier, i would probably be fantasizing about cuddling a human being closely, to play with their hair and compliment them and squish their cute little cheeks.

today, it's not very different. i still hope for a human to randomly appear in my arms so i can hold them and make them feel loved, but now atleast i have my chubby friend, and i often take the tangles out of her soft hair and i often compliment her squishy tummy and i often kiss her cheeks and tell her that she's a good girl.

exactly one year, three months and sixteen days earlier, i would probably be stressing over school and making a mess of my entire room. books and clothes and shoes all strewn across wildly and unapologetically.

today, it's not very different. but atleast maple comes by and adds a lost sock to the pile and picks up something else so that it can be in her possession for a quick barter system later.

exactly one year, three months and sixteen days earlier, i would be blasting my music unrealistically high, and singing along even higher.

today, it's not very different. i still blast the music high and sing along higher but there are just a few moments when maple crosses my room and looks at me expectantly and  my fingers involuntarily turn the music a little down.

exactly one year, three months and sixteen days earlier, i was suicidal and had lost all will to live. i was devoid of any purpose or responsibilities or maybe i wasn't and just failed to realise them. i was insecure and lacked confidence and i just did not think of myself as a thing that deserved to exist.

today, it's different.

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happy international dogs day !! if u have dogs kindly hug them and tell them that they are doing a good job and that u love them thx