Your POV
The numbness throughout your body returned as soon as your mind was dragged out of your slumber and brought back to a reality.

And your reality is filled with grief, shock and sadness, which instantly cascade over you like a wave.

You sigh heavily, pulling the blanket you're currently under, up over your head, in a vain attempt to block out life.

"Mom..." You manage to choke out between sobs as the tears run down your cheeks, staining your shirt. "I'm so sorry! I'm sorry Mom! It's all my fault!"

You lay there, underneath the protection of the blanket, a sobbing and blubbering mess, regretting everything that you did and didn't say to your Mother. However, the sound of Team Prime arriving into the main area of the old missile silo diverts your attention from the state you're currently in.

Brushing the tears away, you allow your eyes to open slowly, taking note of their heaviness, as you throw off the blanket and drag yourself to a sitting position.

I did not sleep well last night. Well, who would after what I've been through lately...

With a yawn that likely sounded more like a sniffle, you make your way to your feet, which carry you towards the currently empty couch upon the raised platform that you and your friends often occupy, as you flop down on the cushions with a choked sob.

I can't live like this anymore...

"I can't live like this..."

Ratchet's POV
Guilt.

Guilt is all I feel as Y/N lets out a choked sob, her cries becoming more and more like whimpers of grief.

I cast my gaze to where the rest of my teammates are standing, watching the small human form with compassionate yet shielded looks.

I have to try and help...

I huff lightly, turning my back towards the other Autobots, my gaze once more set on the girl who's sobs were once again quieting down.

"Y/N?" I start quietly, cautiously.

Upon hearing my voice, she lifts her head slightly, smiling feebly before crumbling into despair once more.

"I..." She lets out through strangled sobs. "I should've done something... If I just-"

"You would've been killed, Y/N." I state, my tone stern, caution evaporating. "What good would've that been?"

"I would be dead..." She whispers quietly, nodding slowly in understanding. "I'm not sure if that would've been a good thing or a bad thing at this point..."

Once again, her tears begin to flow as I stand there helplessly.

"Do something, Ratchet!" Bulkhead hisses, grabbing my attention.

Turning slowly, I notice that he, Arcee and Bumblebee are all standing in front of an active Groundbridge and Optimus is nowhere in sight.

Nodding, I sigh heavily, as I watch the trio disappear into the portal.

"Let's see what I can do."

Your POV
If I had done something to stop this... to stop this pain...

"You would've been killed, Y/N..." Your Guardian's words echo throughout your exhausted brain.

Maybe that would have been for the best... If I was dead, I wouldn't feel like this...

Another set of sobs rock your body as you lift your head once more to examine your familiar surroundings, your vision blurry.

Your gaze rests on the giant alien robot Medic you'd become so close to over the past while, the memory of your first encounter coming to the forefront of your mind.

Ratchet nearly ran me over... Yet, he brought me back here and patched me up... He could've just left me on the roadside for dead...

A series of muttered curses you didn't quite understand interrupts your thoughts.

"Ratchet?" You question aloud, the sound of your tired voice making you cringe.

"It's fine. I just nearly knocked over my bottle of Synth-En." The Medic replies, his voice distant as you realize that he's not at his normal spot by the computers.

"I thought Optimus told you not to test that stuff any further." You remind, standing up and making your way across the concrete floor towards your Guardian, your grief momentarily pushed aside by curiosity.

At this, Ratchet sighs as he turns to look at you, his gaze stern.

"He did. But with our Energon supplies becoming low again, we'll need Synthetic Energon to take its place until we uncover another natural vein."

"But from what I've heard, last time-"

The Medic cuts you off with an angry huff.

"Last time went horribly. I was a fool. But it allowed me to do so much more than this..." He elaborates, the last part not quite audible as he gestures to the silent surroundings of the Autobot base.

You stare at your Guardian, confusion evident on your face.

"Allowed you to do so much more than work here? In the lab? Ratch, your work here is as equally important as what the others do out in the field! Why don't you realize that?"

"I know, I know." He sighs, defeated, turning back to his work once more. "I just wish I could do more..."

You watch in mild fascination as your Guardian works away, a comfortable silence settling between the pair of you.

However, the silence seemed to stretch out for what seemed like an eternity, giving your grief a perfect time to invade your mind once again.

Almost instantly, the tears begin to swell in your eyes, and regret consumes you, causing you to quickly turn on your heel and head back the way you came.

You grab the blanket sitting where it was previously tossed aside and throw it over your head, collapsing into the couch cushions once more.

"What am I supposed to do?" You wail silently, your thoughts muddled.

As you lay there, sobbing and sniffling, a sudden jolt of sharp realization courses through you.

We could've prevented this...

We could've saved my Mother...

It's all their fault...

That thought surprises you.

It's not their fault... They did what they could...

But did they, though? Prime could have easily beaten Megatron to a pulp...

What am I thinking? Autobots don't kill, that's the Decepticon's job...

Just like they did away with my Mother...

"I will do everything in my power to make sure your Mother is returned alive..." The Medic's voice echos inside your head.

What good did that do? All that did was get my hopes up!

My Mother is dead because of the Autobots! Because of them!

Almost as if on cue, the sound of the rest of Team Prime arriving back at base snaps you out of your thoughts.

You jump up off the couch, nearly tripping over your own feet in the process, as you run across the floor of the base towards the aliens responsible for losing your Mother, anger fueling your movements.

"You!" You yell, rage shaking your body as you glare up at the robots in front of you. "You are the ones responsible for my Mother's death!! Because you didn't intervene, my Mother was blown into a million pieces!"

Surprised, but not shocked, the Autobot leader gently scoops you up off the floor, your body continuing to shake as he sets you down on a nearby ledge so you were pretty much at eye level with everyone.

You let your glare filter over each face staring at you, waiting for you to say something, anything.

I can't say anything! I don't know whether to be angry, sad, or just- I don't even know anymore!

"Y/N..." Arcee begins, a motherly tone to her voice that couldn't help but make you wince at the sudden memories invading your tangled mind as you allow your glare to travel to the femme. "We're all sorry. We truly are... I know how you must feel... When I lost Cliffjumper, the only thing I wanted, and still want to this day, is to get revenge on the ones who took him from me, from us. I understand what you're going through..."

"No..."

It was your turn to speak now, your voice hoarse and small.

"You don't understand how I'm feeling. I don't even understand myself right now!"

You turn slightly, your face in your hands as you attempt to regain your composure, only to end up a sobbing mess as you face the Autobots once again, this time, your gaze resting on the Medic who had been watching the scene unfold from the sidelines.

"You didn't stay true to your word..." You seethe through sobs, the flame reigniting within you.

"Y/N, I-" Ratchet starts, his tone regretful. "I..."

"You're what, Ratchet? Sorry? Well, it's gonna take a lot more than an apology for this to heal! It's not an open wound that you can just patch up! You said that you would get my Mother out of there alive, and yet, would you look at that, she's not here right now! And she'll never be! Because of you! Because of you all and this damned war I've gotten dragged into, my Mother is dead! Gone!" You scream through fits of sobs, collapsing to your knees in defeat, your body shaking with rage.

A heavy silence settles within the old missile silo as your thoughts settle down, coming to a quiet resolution.

"I'm going home. Arcee, can you give me a ride please?" You whisper, not trusting your voice to say anymore.

Without a word, the motorcycle steps towards the ledge you're positioned on, outstretching her hand towards you.

You step into the hand as it sets you on the floor gently.

"Thanks." You breathe, hastily shoving your belongings back into your backpack.

While you're doing so, you can feel the concerned gazes of your Autobot Allies boring into your back.

They just want to help you! Quit being stubborn! Mom is gone and sulking about it isn't going to do anything!

I need to go home... Get out of here... Forget none of this ever happened, then maybe things will be different.

"You all good?" Arcee asks, glancing at you.

You nod silently.

"Well, let's roll-"

"Scrap that, Arcee. I'll take Y/N home." Your Guardian interjects before the motorcycle can have a chance to transform. "You can be in charge of the Groundbridge for awhile."

You groan inwardly before stepping into the all too familiar surroundings of the Ambulance, throwing your backpack down beside you.

"Let's go." You huff, staring blankly ahead as you emerge into Jasper's afternoon sunshine.

****

The ride home had been silent.

All you did was blankly stare out at the bleak desert landscape surrounding you until you rolled into town.

Coming to a halt outside what appeared to be a normal house from the front, the silence is broken.

"Y/N... I... I am truly sorry... for your loss..." Ratchet begins, his voice sounding regretful yet contemplative.

"Thanks..." You mutter, grabbing your backpack and opening the door, stepping out onto the pavement.

"Before you go..."

Paying no mind to the Medic's voice, you shut the door behind you, turning away and walking towards the house, stopping at the front door, your palm resting against the door handle.

The sound of the vehicle driving away urges you forward, as you grasp the door knob firmly and swing open the door.

The sight in front of you appeared to be normal. It almost seemed that someone had spent time putting each piece of furniture back where it belonged after it was likely tossed aside by the Cons.

Releasing a breath you didn't realize you had been holding, you step inside the once familiar home, met with silence.

Should I have left the Autobots? I mean, now I'm out here... in the open-

"Y/N!" Three distinct voices chorus from your back door, accompanied by the sound of someone banging on the glass sliding door, breaking you out of your thoughts.

"Miko? Jack? Raf?" You muse aloud, dropping your bag as you rush to the source of the sound.

As you round the corner approaching the back door, you confirm you assumptions. The people making all the racket were indeed your three friends.

"Let us in!" The Japanese girl exclaims, banging once more on the door for emphasis.

"Alright, alright!" You huff, hurriedly unlocking the door and letting the trio inside.

"Y/N!" They exclaim once more, all three of them throwing their arms around you in a bone crushing hug before letting you free.

"Hey guys." You greet, confusion filling your thoughts.

How'd they get here? They should be at school...

"Arcee told us what happened." Jack begins slowly, choosing his words wisely. "We're really sorry..."

At the mention of your Mother, you smile feebly.

"Thanks Jack. That means a whole lot coming from you guys."

"I'm sorry about what happened at school the other day... I shouldn't have brought up a sore subject." Miko admits, her happy demeanor seemingly dampened at the feeling of grief that suddenly soaked the room, leaving the four of you in silence.

"Speaking of school, how'd you guys get here? Shouldn't you be in class right now?" You ask, raising a questioning eye brow.

"My Mom signed us out." Jack shrugs, as a silence settling once more.

"Let's watch some TV!" Miko cheers unexpectedly, both she and Raf rushing past you and into the living room.

You watch with mild amusement as the Japanese girl jumps over the back of the couch all while managing to grab the remote and flick on the television. "Come on slow pokes!"

"We're coming, Miko." Jack answers dryly before turning to you.

He seemed to contemplate something for a moment before speaking again.

"I am so sorry, Y/N... I've had my fair share of experiences with the Cons... It's no fun, at all. But to have your Mom taken away like that-" He stops, mid sentence, a steely glint settling in his eyes. "I have no idea how you must feel right now."

You sigh, resting your hand on the teen's shoulder.

"Thank you."

****

The next few hours consisted of more TV watching than you had ever done before. Needless to say, your DVD player was getting quite a work out.

"Alrighty! What's next?" Miko bubbles, scrambling off the couch and towards the DVD player.

"I think we're all movied out for now." You sigh, sinking into the couch.

"Yeah... Miko, I think it'd be best if we all head home and leave Y/N in peace." The sixteen year old suggests, getting off the couch and making his way towards the front door, Rafael following behind.

"But!" Your Japanese friend pouts before realization settles over her features. "I guess you're right, Jack."

You nod as she looks towards you for some sort of confirmation.

"I'll be fine here! I've gotta unpack my stuff anyways. I'll see you guys tomorrow at school."

"Alrighty! See ya tomorrow! Bye, Y/N!" Miko's accented voice cheers faintly as you hear the sound of the door close.

Sighing, you allow your gaze to travel over the familiar surroundings, taking in the feeling of home.

Or the place that once felt like home, that is.

I shouldn't have left like that...

I did the right thing. Those aliens were bound to get me killed in one way or another.

They're my friends!

They let Megatron kill my Mother.

With a shake of your head in a futile attempt to clear your thoughts, you make your way to your feet, heading upstairs.

I wonder if anyone at school has noticed I've been gone... Did Agent Fowler tell the school about my absence? What if he didn't...

"Hey Ratch?" You muse aloud, your small and fragile voice echoing back at you as the realization of loneliness washes over you.

You were alone again.

All alone, with no one to talk to.

There was just the silence.

And silence can be a horrible thing.

****

Friday went by without a hitch... Well, it went as good as it could have seeing as you missed quite a few large assignments...

"How much homework do you have tonight?" Jack asks as you both rush down the steps of Memorial High, waving to Miko and Raf as they disappear from view.

"Too much." You mutter bitterly. "All that time wasted caused me to get farther behind than I've been in a long time!"

"I'm sure you'll be fine. You seem to catch onto concepts fast!" Your friend grins as a familiar vehicle pulls up beside the pair of you.

"Need a ride?" The voice of June Darby, Jack's Mom, calls from the now idling car on the side of the road.

"Sure!" You smile slightly, climbing into the backseat as you close the door behind you. "Anything is better than walking."

"So? How was your day?" June asks aloud in a friendly fashion, trying to spark some conversation.

"It was okay, I guess." You answer, staring out the window absentmindedly.

"Y/N, are you sure you're okay living at home by yourself? I mean, anything could happen! For all I know a fire could start or the power could go out and you'd having nothing to eat, or-"

"Mom." Jack interrupts, giving his Mother a somewhat of a 'are you serious' look. "I'm sure Y/N is fine by herself."

Turning to you he adds,

"See? She's a worrier."

"I am not! I'm just saying that we have that empty basement apartment that she could use if she really needed it! That's what I was going to say before you interrupted me." June retorts. 

At the mention of the apartment, you perk up a little.

"An apartment?" You muse aloud. "How much would you cost for rent?"

June just laughs.

"Nothing! It needs some work, so if you're willing to pitch in and help out, it's yours."

"Really?!" You exclaim, feeling better than you had been in days. "I... I don't know what to say. Thank you Ms. Darby."

She smiles at you through the rear view mirror.

"You're welcome. And Y/N?"

You turn your attention back to the Nurse.

"Call me June."

****

"Moving day!" You sigh tiredly, swinging your feet out of bed and allowing them to touch the cold floor beneath.

You observe your bedroom with tired eyes as your gaze lands on the picture of you and your Mom by the door.

With another sigh, you haul yourself out of bed, throw on a fresh pair of clothes and begin to make your way downstairs, grabbing your phone in the process.

"Morning, Mom." You whisper, touch the edge of the picture on your way past.

I got out of bed, got dressed... now what... Oh that's right, breakfast.

You slowly make your way into the kitchen, the silence slowly eating away at you.

"It's too quiet in here..." You mutter, fishing your phone from your pocket and cueing up your 80's era playlist.

"Say you don't know me..." You hum lowly, tossing your phone onto the counter as it continues to play 'We Built This City' by Starship.

You open the fridge, pouring yourself a glass of orange juice as the song continues, your humming turning into singing.

"Knee deep in the hoopla, sinking in your fight..." You sing, dancing along with the song now as you throw two pieces of toast into the toaster.

"We built this city! We built this city on... hey!" You trail off, your singing interrupted by an incoming call.

Leaving your spot by the toaster, you quickly rush to your phone, looking for the identity of the caller.

"Good morning, June!" You greet as you pick up the call, sounding much more like your usual self than you had been in awhile.

"Good morning to you too! You're sounding better this morning!" The Nurse's voice compliments over the phone. "If I pick you up around nine, does that give you enough time to pack your stuff up?"

You quickly glance at the oven's clock.

7:47 AM

"Sounds like a plan! Do I need to worry about hiring movers to move all this other stuff?" You ask, realizing that June's car likely wouldn't be able to move furniture.

"Oh no! Don't you worry about that! The apartment is already furnished! Just pack up whatever you can carry!" She clarifies.

"Great!" You sigh, glancing at the toaster at the sound of the toast popping. "Well, I'll see you at nine! I've gotta make some breakfast! Bye!"

And with that, you hang up the call.

"Time to pack." You determine, biting a piece of toast as you mentally start a list of what you will need to bring.

****

"Come on! Zip up you stupid suitcase!" You growl, fighting with the last suitcase containing all your clothing.

You'd always taken pride in having a small variety of clothes, and now the small amount was coming in handy.

"Yes!" You cheer as you finally guide the zipper to the end of the line, sealing the suitcase.

Making your way to your feet, you grab the suitcase that you had just been fighting with, slinging your backpack over your shoulders and donning the other smaller suitcase laying at your feet, you head towards the front door, taking one last look at your now bleak looking bedroom.

It'll do me good to leave this house... Move onto bigger and better things... Leave this craziness behind...

A single tear slides down your cheek as you quickly turn on your heel and make your way down the stairs, your suitcases clattering behind you.

Coming to a halt at the front door, you peer out the window, waving cheerily at June who was just getting out of her car, making her way up to you.

"Good morning!" You greet once more, in person, your sadness and regret diminishing as you toss open the door, shutting it behind you with such force that you never knew you had.

"Good morning to you too." She laughs, taking your smaller suitcase from your grasp. "So? You all good?"

You nod, not stopping your stride towards the parked vehicle, blocking out the urge to turn back and rush inside.

Still deep in thought, you climb into the backseat, tossing your belongings into the seat beside you absentmindedly, humming the song from earlier, watching the road roll by as June heads back the way she came.

Finally you reply with a faint, "Yep... I'm all good."

The Nurse only stares back at you through the rear view mirror with a compassionate glance.

I am fine... I am 100% fine... Positively, absolutely fine...

****

"Thanks for letting me literally live with you and Jack, June." You say for what likely seemed like the twentieth time that day.

"You're welcome, Y/N." She replies, opening up a can of paint that was set off to the side of your new apartment.

After you got all your stuff settled in, Ms. Darby had figured there was no time better than now to start the 'sprucing up project' as she liked to call it.

"Let's paint!" A familiar accented voice cheers from the top of the stairs, accompanied by the sound of three sets of footsteps.

"Hey guys!" You greet, genuinely surprised at your three friends appearances. "I thought you'd be hanging out with the Autobots..."

"Oh nah! We had to come help our bestest friend liven up her new home!" Miko cheers once more, rushing over to the paint can June had opened, grabbing a paint brush and beginning to paint.

"Okay then..." You chuckle to yourself, stepping back to take in the surroundings of your new home.

I am so lucky to have friends who are willing to do all this... for me...

"Come on, Y/N!" Rafael's voice pulls you from your thoughts, as you grab a paint brush and join in on the painting spree, laughing along with your friends, scratch that, family.

**Ratchet's POV**

**Autobot Base**

I only knew that human girl for a few days, and now she's gone...

Y/N is gone...

She's gone from the protection of Base... From us...

So much could go wrong in a matter of moments...

And I won't be able to do anything about it...

I shake my head in a vain attempt to clear the thoughts, staring out at the desert's bleak landscape, lighted dimly by Earth's night sky above.

Decepticons could just snatch her up... She knows our coordinates... She started to learn the basics of Cybertronian technology and Science... They would use her...

"Ratchet." The voice of Optimus Prime calls out in greeting, pulling me from my disturbing thought process. "I was informed that I would likely find you up here. What seems to be troubling you?"

I sigh, string out into the bleakness of the desert once more.

"It's nothing, Optimus. I'm just thinking, that's all."

If Y/N were to be taken, I could only stand back and observe, like always... If only I could solidify the Synthetic Energon...

"Y/N's absence," The Prime states, almost as if reading my mind. "Is quite unfortunate, though understandable... That is what is troubling you, my old friend."

"Not likely." I huff, defying what I knew to be true.

"These are dark times indeed... I feel that our time without Y/N will soon come to a close."

"Optimus," I start, fed up with the act, my thoughts getting the best of me. "Puh-lease. What if the Decepticons just snatch up Y/N! She is a source of leverage! Megatron knows that you won't allow another loss of a human life, so by using her as bait, he'll have his chance at you, yet again!"

The Leader's optics meet my wild gaze.

"You needn't worry, Ratchet. We will deal with problems when they arise."

With that, the Prime heads back the way he had came, leaving me and my thoughts alone with the night sky once again.

I need that Synth-En... If those Cons even think of abducting Y/N, they're gonna pay the price.

"Don't you worry, Y/N. I've got your back, even if you'll still hate me afterwards."

!A/N!

Ehhhhhhhhhhhh... Boring, bleh chapter! But don't worry! Lot's more action to come! (Hopefully...)

Once again, if you're reading this, thank you for making it this far in this horrible story that I am literally meshing together as I go!

Please do not  be afraid to leave feedback, Ideas, constructive criticism etc!

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Thanks, ya'll and peace out!

"Autobots, roll out!"