Let go of your worries

And be completely clear-hearted,

Like the face in the mirror,

Behold yourself

And see the shameless truth,

Which the mirror reflects...

"Will you sit with me?" Her voice sounded soft from beside him.

He might consider them friends yet neither had spoken apart from sneaked notes since the day of the memorial almost 3 weeks prior.

Riaz looked up at her. He had never sat with anyone during break. He sat by the window, waiting for the break to end and that contented him. It was nice to have a clear head- watching the cars go by seemed to bring him peace though he would never be able to understand why.

"You don't have to talk," she reiterated, feeling awkward at his prolonged silence. "I just don't like being by myself."

"You don't look the type who should be by herself." He said, surprising even himself.

"I'm not. I love the idea of friends. I just haven't found a replacement yet."

"Where do you sit?"

"On the bench outside the science lab."

"Okay." He stood up, allowing her to walk in front of him.

She took only two steps before she turned around. "Thank you." She smiled at him. She had forgotten that she could smile.

But she could and that made her happy.

He nodded his head just once, not knowing how to reply. No one had thanked him for anything before.

They sat in silence.

Neither had realised that it was in this moment that their friendship had truly formed.

They sat in silence, just enjoying the presence of the other as they watched the other students walk past, trapped in their own bubble of conversation.

It was serene, simply listening to the chirps of the birds as the males hurriedly built their nests in the large Palm tree above them, hoping to please their beloved enough to want to start a family with them. They both felt the gentle breeze as it whispered sweet songs into their ears. Songs of peace and contentment which seemed to strum through their souls as they sat quietly next to each other.

Neither knew that this would define their friendship. Their friendship would never be loud or raucous or full of laughs. It would never be adventurous or boisterous or coloured by passionate fights and arguments. But it would be defined by the contentment they felt within each other as they escaped from the emptiness of their hearts and the darkness of their abnormal homes that had become so normal for them that it became the only way to exist.

...

Do you believe in God?

Riaz didn't know why it seemed so easy for them to talk through pieces of the paper yet in her presence he felt no desire to talk. Perhaps it wasn't talking to her that he truly longed for... It was the feeling of serenity he felt in their silence that seemed to call to him.

Did he believe in God?

His father was a Muslim once upon a time. But Riaz was sure that he had ran away from all thoughts of God watching him. No man who believed in God would do what he did. Riaz and his sister had inherited their muslim names from Zaheer but to him it was just a name. He didn't know anything of the religion behind it.

And Claire- Claire wore a crucifix around her neck every single day till the day Farhana was born. He didn't know what she thought of God or if she even believed in Him anymore or if Zaheer had taken that away from her too.

Religion had never been a priority in their household. The main objective was obeying his father- deviations were never tolerated. But he was sure he had believed in the existence of a God. He had seen God's power the day he prayed.

He was small.

Still too small to reach the top shelf of his cupboard but he prayed to Whoever it was that was watching over him. He prayed as his father kept hurting him. He prayed for it to stop. He remembered thinking that it hurt so badly and he was sure his father would kill him. He asked God to make him stop and he begged and he pleaded.

There was not an inch on his body that did not hurt in that moment. Every part of him felt numb from pain. His eyes mourned the loss of its tears as every last one of them was used up by the little boy. His throat became hoarse from screaming yet still he begged.

He begged for it to stop. His heart screamed out for absolution from this torment. He was sure that the night would never end and that he would be lost to darkness for eternity...

Then he heard it.

His light had come.

He opened his eyes to see his father rushing towards the sound of his car alarm- yet there was nothing that had set it off.

He woke up the next morning to a blurred world.

He couldn't understand how it was that he had gone to sleep able to see everything around him yet wake up to broken eyes. He rubbed his eyes, thinking it would work yet it never did no matter how hard he rubbed at them.

He remembered hearing the man with the white coat saying that he was lucky that those boys didn't push him any harder. Had he hit his head just a little more- he would have lost more than his perfect vision.

That was the last time his father had ever hit him.

I believe in God. Do you?

...

"I wish I could stay, my love, but I can't." Husain looked down at his daughter, refusing to allow his tears to impede this most beautiful sight to him.

"But why?" He had come into her room as she slept, unable to believe that it would be the last he would see of her.

"I made a mistake." He kissed the crown of her head, running his fingers through her beautiful brown hair... He looked down at her and felt as if he were looking into a mirror. She was so like him- in every way.

"Then say sorry." She looked up at him, confused. What kind of a mistake would make him go away?

"It's too big a mistake. But I will always love you."

"But when I miss you, who's going to hug me?" Her voice was small, innocent of all evils the world had to offer.

"When you miss me and when you think of me, tell Allah and He'll make you feel better."

"How?"

"He's the only one that will ever love you more than I do." He kissed her small fingers one last time before walking away.

That was the last time Tasneem had ever heard any mention of God in her house.

...

Every night Thou freest our spirits from the body

And its snare, making them pure as raised tablets

Every night spirits are released from this cage,

And set free, neither lording it nor lorded over.

At night prisoners are unaware of their prison,

At night kings are unaware of their majesty.

There is no thought or care for loss or gain,

No regard to such an one or such an one...

"She doesn't know that I'm here." She kept her eyes closed, yet she couldn't swallow her heart as it lodged itself in her throat.

"She doesn't know I like watching you sleep." He ran his fingers over her hand and up her arm. "You're beautiful." He continued running his finger up and down her arm as he whispered these words into the darkness, unaware that she could hear him.

"You're perfect," he said, running his finger across her shoulder and over her collarbones, delighting at the way little goosbumps seemed to follow in its wake. "One day... one day."

His finger dipped just a little lower...

"One day." He leaned over her, brushing a kiss over her forehead. "But not today." He ran his finger gently over her lips, capturing her breath in the palm of his hand.

He stood up leaving her to relive that moment over and over till the light of the new morning peaked into her room, illuminating her pale face. Her soul had found no peace that night as it lay trapped in her body. Sleep could not claim her as she refused to see his face in her dreams as well as her waking moments.

Her soul was caged and he held the key. Yet he was selfish. He wished for her to wither away into nothing, and only when she had dried, and lived merely by breathing- only then would he set her free to have her all for himself.

Then he would throw her away...

"Please sit with me."

Her eyes looked dulled as its heavy purple shadows seemed to have drained its owner of all their light.

"Okay." He allowed her to walk ahead of him, noticing the way her body slumped slightly as if it could no longer bear the thought of one more step.

They sat under the palm tree gazing at the rainclouds ahead of them. They were thick and heavy, carrying the burden of all the raindrops within it... In moments it would rain upon them yet he watched her staring straight at it.

The birds had already fled, afraid of the giants before them and afraid of the thunder they would bring. The wind had picked up, rushing past them leaving behind their icy cold breath upon each being it passed. It was not the gentle kiss of a old friend- no this was anger and fear and rage all broiled into a fierce, war raged upon them by unseen elements.

A flash of lightning seized their eyes, reflecting their very souls as they stared transfixed at the shock of white before them.

"Stay with me?" She asked him amidst frenzied students rushing to escape the heavy rains that were sure to come.

He stayed in his place. He dare not leave.

Her fingers grazed his fingertips ever so slightly as she moved just that much closer towards him.

"Thank you."

The wind howled around them, cocooning them in her safety. She enveloped them in her arms as if she were a caring mother protecting them from the war cry of the clouds above them.

Tasneem felt alive as the wind caused their bench to reverberate with her strength.

"I believe in God too."

... If metal can be polished

To a mirror like finish,

What polishing might the mirror

Of the heart require?

Between the mirror and the heart

Is the single difference:

The heart conceals secrets

While the mirror does not.

A/N Sorry for the heavy chapter.

Though both poems are by Jalalludin Rumi, the first is entitled Let Go Of Your Worries and the second is extracted from the poem Sleep Of The Body -The Soul's Awakening.