"I need to get him off me."

She didn't know how it was that they reached their flat but as soon as she walked in, she began to shake all over, scratching incessantly at invisible itches over her arms.

"I need to get him off me." She couldn't breathe and her legs felt like jelly beneath her. She couldn't stand or think or feel. She was still surrounded by him and she needed him off her. "I can still feel him and taste him." She ran her fingers over her covered waist, shrinking into herself at the thought of him wiping her own arousal onto her skin. "Please, please I need him off me." She was barely even aware of Riaz standing right beside her, watching her as she broke down.

Get him off me.

Get him off me.

Get him off me.

She felt his hand curl around her own, leading her gently into the bathroom.

She couldn't breathe.

Her breaths were short and laboured but it wasn't enough.

She was suffocating and her body began to shake and tingle all over. She placed her hand on her chest, hunching over as if it would force air into her lungs but it wouldn't work.

"I can't breathe." She clutched his hand desperately, causing him to sink to the floor beside her. She gasped, her breaths rasping as she tried to get her body to work but her chest only kept tightening within her, burning so badly that it forced her tears to trickle down her cheeks.

Riaz gathered her to him, placing her in front of him as he lifted his knees as if to enclose her into his protection. His chest was to her back and he could feel the sweat seep through her thin shirt as she still grasped onto what little breath she had within her. He locked her arms to her chest, encircling her in his hold. "You can breathe." He whispered in her ear, his voice causing goosebumps to erupt along her shoulders. "Breathe with me."

She was curled up within his hold, feeling every beat of his heart against her back as she felt his chest expand and contract slowly.

"Breathe with me, Little Bee." His voice settled into the innermost pit f her heart, causing ripples to wash throughout her body, soothing and calming her. "Just breathe." His words were punctuated with light kisses along the top of her head. He felt her body twitch and shiver against his, as she tried to match his breaths, responding to his gentle heat surrounding her. "You're okay." He tightened his hold, "I've got you. You're okay."

He closed his eyes, silently apologising to her for not being there on time. He could still see her on the ground, her shirt askew and her jeans unzipped. "I've got you." Her breaths grew deeper and more even as she sought to get closer to him. He hadn't realised she was crying till he felt her bury her head in his arm, dampening his skin with her tears. He crossed his legs before her, surrounding her entirely.

Her tears were silent. There were no sobs or wails or light sniffles. Her body simply didn't know what else to do except cry- only her mind hadn't realised what was happening.

"I told him I hated him." Tasneem's voice was muffled but he could still hear her as clear as day. " I told him I hated him." She sat up, turning only that she could see him. "I hate him so, so much."

Riaz nodded, winding his arms around her back, pulling her closer till there was barely a space for even the tip of a petal to pass between them. He could feel her chest pressed up against his own and her stomach against his as she looked at him, tears still clinging precariously to her eyelashes.

"He raped me, Riaz." She said, the words unbinding the heavy restraints around her heart. "My brother raped me."

My brother raped me.

***

She stood beneath the gentle spray of the shower, scrubbing off every part of her body till her skin felt pink and raw. Tiny trickles of blood had escaped its fragile barrier as she scratched and rubbed too hard at certain parts, relishing in the pain. But she couldn't wash between her legs. She was scared to go anywhere near there, still recalling the feeling of his fingers along her skin, inside of her.

I need to get him off me.

Her hands felt stiff as she shut her eyes closed, bringing the wash cloth to that part of her body that he had violated the most.

Never again.

She washed herself quickly, unable to look down at her actions. She only felt the water and soap purifying her, cleansing her of his touch and his filth. She flinched as her elbow brushed against the bite mark along her chest and once again she found her tears melding into the water running down her face.

Never again.

She dropped her washcloth, crossing her arms over her chest as she simply stood beneath the warm water.

Just stood and allowed the water to wash over her. Carry away the sand and the dirt down the drain. Just stood and allowed for the last remnants of her brother to be washed away.

My brother raped me for over a year and I hate him.

My brother raped me and hurt me.

My brother raped me.

It was never my fault. It was only ever his fault.

My brother raped me and it was his fault.

And as she felt her tears slip into her mouth, her lips curled into the smallest of smiles.

He is never going to hurt me again.

Tasneem switched off the tap, wrapping her towel around her body before squeezing the water out of her hair. She stepped out, embracing the chilly air of the bathroom as she walked up to the mirror where her clothes were already laid out for her. She slipped her panties up her legs, shaking her head as she thought of the other pair that was lying at the bottom of the dustbin. She wiped the steam off the face of the mirror with her hand before she rubbed her small towel through her hair, truly looking at her face for the first time in months.

Looking at what he saw.

At what Riaz saw when he looked at her every day.

She tugged lightly at the corner of her lip with her teeth, looking at her large brown eyes and flat nose. She saw herself.

Herself.

Her body.

Hers.

Her hands fidgeted with the knot on her towel, teetering on the brink of loosening it and tightening it. The deep line above her sternum was pronounced and as her breathing deepened, it called to her attention her heavy breasts and the red bitemark which marred her skin. She stretched her neck to the side, allowing her to examine the little circular bruises along her shoulder and neck that was slowly darkening to an ugly purple.

Her body was hers.

Her chest heaved as she slowly loosened the knot on her towel.

She could do it.

She watched the steam settle into little droplets along her skin, almost as if they were tiny, glimmering diamonds under the lighting. The knot was loose but her fists had clenched around the corners of her towel, unwilling to drop it.

She had to do it!

She closed her eyes, willing herself to just let go. To stop thinking and just let go. Her hand slowly uncurled, allowing her to unwrap her towel and bare herself before the mirror.

You can do it. Just open your eyes and look.

Open them.

Open them!

Her eyes opened, catching but a glimpse of her body before she slammed them shut once again.

Help me.

She wrapped herself with her towel once more, before she padded to the door, opening it just enough to call him. She knew what she would be asking of him. She knew how difficult it would be for him if...

Don't think.

Stop thinking.

She hadn't realised he had entered the bathroom until she opened her eyes once again, watching him tower over her through the mirror. "I need you to do something."

"What?"

Her knuckles had whitened around her towel once again, drawing it so closely to her that she could feel the fibres chafe against her skin. "I need," she looked down at the sink, unable to form the words in her mind.

Stop thinking.

"I need you to help me look at myself." She looked up, catching his gaze in the mirror. "I keep trying but I can't do it."

"What are you asking me to do exactly, Little Bee?" He looked down, his gaze questioning as he considered her plea.

"I need you to help me to look at myself." She turned around, grasping his fingers between her own. "Please."

"Are you sure you know what you're asking me?" His gaze drifted down towards her naked shoulders, drifting further...

"Yes."

Stop thinking.

"Turn around." He said softly, placing his hands on her shoulders to turn her gently to face the mirror. His hands glided over her skin, coming to rest above her own still gripping onto her towel. "Close your eyes."

She felt his hands slowly nudge hers out of the way before settling over the knot of her towel. She could feel him untie it, painfully slow, his palms barely grazing the tops of her chest. Her legs felt shaky as his arms tightened around her, bringing her to rest against him. She could feel the cold brush against her torso as the towel slipped away, brushing against her skin as if it were a delicate piece of silk before she felt him grip her hands in his.

"Open your eyes." His voice husky against her ear as he lifted her hand to cover her chest. Her breath came out in shudders at the feel of his chest against her naked back. "Open your eyes, Tasneem." He asked once again, his heartbeat thudding as loudly and wildly as her own.

Her eyes opened slowly, blinking once as the light from above assaulted her vision before she looked at the mirror before her. Her body felt as if it were going crazy as she looked at him, his hands dwarfing hers entirely over her chest. He bent down, brushing a single soft kiss to the side of her neck before he spoke once again. "This is what I see."

He kissed her shoulder, feeling her hands flex beneath his.

"Help me." She asked once more. "Please."

His skin flushed beneath his shirt and she could feel his body catch aflame behind her as he gripped the back of her hands lightly. "You sure?" He asked, one last time.

"Yes."

He slowly lowered her hands to her sides, never letting go of her as they looked for her.

"You're so, so beautiful Little Bee." He said, looking at her bared before them.

She looked at herself, running her finger softly over the curve of her stomach.

This is me.

Her eyes were transfixed to the sight before her. Her shoulders were wide soft and rounded and her neck was long and graceful. Her breasts were large and heavy and her sides were angled as gentle, soft curves. She had a deep bellybutton and her stomach was etched with different shades of stretchmarks that were painted over her skin as if they were vines flowering up her navel.

I'm beautiful.

"God, you're beautiful." His fingers tightened around hers before he lifted her hand, placing a gentle kiss to her knuckles.

She turned around slowly, pressing her chest to his own. "Make me forget about him."

She stood up on her tiptoes, kissing him softly on his lips.

"Please, take his marks away." She begged, her words spoken quickly between soft, unhurried kisses.

Please.

Tie your heart at night to mine, love,

And both will defeat the darkness.

His white cotton sheets brushed lightly against her back as she laid down on his mattress. She was nervous and terrified and frightened, but tiny glimmers of excitement found its way to her belly. His shirt was removed and she allowed herself to admire him. She allowed herself to admire his broad shoulders, the hard muscles along his chest and the thousands of freckles that covered his entire body.

"Don't let go of my hands." She asked, grasping both his hands in her own as he settled over her.

Tie your heart at night to mine, love,

Like twin drums beating in the forest

Against the heavy wall of wet leaves.

She closed her eyes as she felt his lips along her jaw, sprinkling her skin with light, gentle kisses. His lips were soft, the light scruff along his jaw tickled her skin. She opened her eyes, meeting his dark green gaze before she smiled at him.

Don't think.

She cupped his cheek in the palm of her hand, memorising every detail on his face before she leaned up, kissing him gently on his lips. His love was translated into his every touch, kiss and whispered word in her ear. She closed her eyes, grasping his hands tightly as his lips brushed against the soft skin of her neck, along her light brown, soft shoulders, down her clavicle. They were soft, gentle kisses- only his lips against her skin before he delved even lower...

Tie your heart at night to mine, love,

Tie me to a purer movement,

To the grip on life that beats in your breast,

With the wings of a submerged swan.

He looked down at her- his beautiful, strong angel. She was perfection and as he touched and kissed and stroked her soft skin, she only pulled him closer, gripping his hand just a little tighter. His eyes darkened at the red marks dotting her neck and the large purple bruise along her chest...

Take his marks away.

She gasped as she felt his lips against the raw bruise just above the deep V between her breasts, slowly allowing its memory to fade. She ran her hands softly through his hair, watching him kiss her and touch her. Watching the havoc he wrecked on her body with his gentleness. She wanted to lose herself to him. She wanted to give him her everything. He had her heart and her soul but she wanted to give him her body too.

"I love you, Riaz."

She felt his grip tighten around her waist, before he looked up at her, kissing her softly once again.

"I love you too."

Tie your heart at night to mine, love,

So that our dreams might reply

To the sky's questioning stars

With one key, one door closed to shadow.

She felt his lips on her calves, pressing against the smooth skin of her knee before running along the length of her body till he found his home in her lips once again. "You sure?"

He asked, his heart thudding madly against her own.

"Yes." She smiled up at him, wrapping her arms around his neck. 

"Don't forget," his hands skimmed the band of her panties, "You'll always be in control." He lowered the light pink material till she was able to nudge it off...

I'm in control.

And she kissed him once again, closing her eyes as finally...

She lost herself to him in every way she ever thought possible.

Tie your heart at night to mine, love.

Tie your heart at night to mine.

A/N: Tie your heart at night to mine- Pablo Neruda