Fareed and Aamina looked at their son but they could barely recognise him. He had lost weight and his cheeks had sunken in to hollows on his face. He ran his fingers through his thick brown hair over and over again, musing it even further.

"I made a mess of my life." He admitted hoarsely. "I don't know what to do anymore."

"What happened?"Aamina asked, sitting down beside him on the large brown couch.

"I'm going to lose my kids." He shook his head, ignoring the tears that pricked at his eyes. "She's going to them away from me."

...

"Do you know anything about your family?" Tasneem turned to face him, resting her head in the palm of her left hand.

"No, not really." Riaz had never truly considered having a family beyond his father, mother and sister. The notion that he could have cousins or uncles or aunts had never been more than a passing tide. "My mother grew up in an orphanage and my dad cut himself off from his family long before I was born."

"Do you ever think about them?"

"No." He knew she was worried about her phone call with her granny. He was surprised when he heard them speaking on the phone. He had no clue that she even thought about her granny much less wanted to make contact with them.

"I think about my Granny a lot." She smiled sadly. "I used to love her so much and when my dad left it was as if he had taken his whole family away with him. I don't remember my uncles or aunts but I remember my grandparents."

"Why did you phone her?"

"When you spoke about your dad, it made me think of my father." She turned onto her back, making shapes out of all the shadows cast up by the lamp behind them. "I don't know why he left us. I don't know if he ever loved us or wanted us and maybe they'll be able to give me the answers."

"Do you miss him?"

She thought about it. She could barely remember him. She couldn't remember his face or his voice. She could hardly even remember being with him to truly miss having him there.

Did she miss him?

"No." She lifted her covers up to cover her shoulders. "I'm scared to meet them." She admitted softly.

"Why?"

"I don't know." She couldn't pin point anything but she couldn't stop her heart from pattering madly at the thought of seeing them again. "I haven't seen them in so many years. I remember them as two people who I loved like mad and I guess-" How was she supposed to put it into words?

"You don't want them to be a dream?"

She turned her head to look at him again, smiling at his perception. "Will you come with me on Saturday? I don't want to go alone."

"You won't be alone." He turned his head away, closing his eyes as tiredness washed over him. "Don't worry."

...

"What did you do?" Fareed was getting old. His lungs weren't what they used to be and standing for too long made him tired but he didn't want to sit. He couldn't sit knowing his grandchildren would be taken away.

"I had an affair." Husain's head dropped in shame. He was tired; he was so tired yet sleep never seemed to claim him anymore. "We had a son together."

"You have another son?" Aamina breathed out, reeling back in shock.

"I do. He's a few months older than Tasn-" Husain's head snapped to the side with the force of his father's slap.

"How dare you? You had a son with another woman yet still had two more with your wife!" Fareed felt disgust seep through every pore in his body at the idea of it all. "Don't you have any shame?"

"How long did it last?" His mother asked, rubbing Fareed's arm as if to calm him down.

"We broke it off a few months ago." He could hardly even look at his father, embarrassed to even stand in his presence. "I was living with her for a few months after I got kicked out."

"Did you at least marry her or were you still..." Fareed broke it off, he couldn't say the words. He couldn't fathom the idea that his son would live in such sin for such a long time.

Husain's silence said it all.

He hadn't married his mistress. He hadn't given her or his son the protection of his name. He hadn't stopped the rumours and gossip by doing the honest, decent thing. He was selfish and cruel and he hadn't stopped to think about how everyone else would be affected.

How his kids would be affected.

He just didn't think.

...

Tasneem smoothed the invisible crinkles out of her white skirt. It was an old skirt but it was still the nicest one she owned but as she smoothed her hands over the top of her calves, she worried that it may have been too short.

She didn't want them to think ill of her. She couldn't bear the idea of their disapproval before she even stepped into the door.

"You look fine." Riaz whispered into her ear, grasping her hand in his own. "Don't worry."

"Just..."

"You look fine." He assured her once again, gently rubbing his thumb over her knuckles. She turned to look at him, smiling at him gratefully before she turned back to look at the door. Her heart was thudding crazily in her chest and she could feel sweat pool between her breasts and along her lower back as the seconds ticked by. She was nervous- so, so nervous but she couldn't run away.

Not now when she was so close.

She heard light footsteps and the clicks of a walking stick just beyond the door. She held in her breath, unable to remember how to exhale as the key turned slowly in the lock.

It's okay.

The door handle dropped slightly before the door creaked open...

...

"She told me she'd send me to jail if I came back again." His whispers were pained as he looked back at the past few years. When had things gotten so out of hand? Things were spinning out of control so fast that he could barely catch his feet and before he knew it, he lost everything.

"Why would she send you to jail?" Fareed's calm voice did nothing to hide the venom lurking beneath it.

"I..."He looked at his father, cowering in shame for all he had done. "There were problems with zoning and reconstruction when I opened up the factory. I had to bribe a few people to get it up and running."

"I told you over and over again- be honest in your business. There's blessing in honesty but you never listened." His father shook his head, disappointment evident in every part of his body.

"I'm sorry Dad."

"Why are you apologising? You dug your own grave, not mine." He shook his head one last time, unable to even look at his son, before he walked away. His wife could deal with it, not him.

He was done.

...

Her light pink cardigan closed delicately over her cream, pleated dress and the smell of baby powder surrounded her as she walked towards Tasneem. She was short, shorter than Tasneem, and as frail and fragile as a golden leaf in Autumn balancing her weight on her walking stick.

She looked up at her granddaughter in disbelief.

How many years had she spent dreaming of this day? Dreaming of the moment where she would be close enough to touch and hold. She had grown. Tasneem had barely brushed against the tops of her legs the last time she had seen her but now; standing before her was a beautiful, radiant young lady and she had missed it.

She had missed everything and for that she would never forgive her son.

"I can't believe you're standing right in front of me." She whispered, walking slowly towards Tasneem as if in a dream.

Tasneem didn't know what to do except smile politely at the old stranger before her. She couldn't remember her. Now that she thought about it, her memories never included her grandmother's face and were she to walk past her in the street Tasneem would never know who she was.

Aamina reached forward cautiously, cupping Tasneem's face in the palms of her hands as she looked at her. "You look just like your father."

Tasneem was at a loss for words. She hadn't realised that she had let go of Riaz's hand until she felt herself fidget with beads of her skirt.

"I'm sorry,"Aamina smiled brightly, her face lighting up as if she had lost years of her age, "Please come in."

And she stepped back, allowing Tasneem and Riaz to pass before shutting the door gently behind her.

...

"I miss them Mum."He cried freely into his hands, unashamed in his mother's presence. She was his rock and would always be, never judging or looking down upon him. "I miss my boys and I miss Tasneem so much."

She rubbed his back, gently soothing away his pain and his anguish. "Your father is right, you know," she said sadly, "You have to face the consequences of your actions."

"I want to turn back time. I want to have never let them down."

"But you did."

He nodded his head, accepting her words as his fate. He would have to live with his actions even if it killed him.

...

She felt as if she had walked back in time. Everything was where it had always been. She remembered the lacy doilies over the television and the dark mahogany side table near the doorway of the lounge. Her grandmother's handmade quilt still lay on the headrest of the couch and the carpets were still the same light brown shade it had always been. Even the blue vase inside the television cabinet was still proudly displayed on the top surrounded by hundreds of Reader's digests and magazines.

It was the same.

The exact same and that knowledge comforted her.

"Who's this?"Aamina gestured to Riaz.

"He's my husband." Tasneem replied softly, clearing her throat of its dryness.

Aamina's eyes widened at the revelation. "When did you get married?"

"It's been a few months now." She smiled, shifting ever so slightly toward the edge of the couch. Riaz's presence beside her comforted her, but it couldn't stop the mass of nerves building within her.

"Was it a big wedding?" Aamina's eyes lightened at the thought of it.

"No." Tasneem shook her head slightly, "We were married in the court."

"Surely you had a Nikaah or something?" Her grandmother's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"No."

"Aren't..." She tried to swallow around the lump in her throat. What had her son done to his children? "Aren't you Muslim?"

"I don't think I am." She replied honestly, ignoring Aamina's pained gasp.

"What about you, son? What's your name?" She asked Riaz, desperation clouding her eyes.

"Riaz."

"You have a Muslim name. Is your father a Muslim?"

"No."

"And your mother?"

"She was a Christian a long time ago." His parents barely followed any religion anymore. Not for a very long time at least.

She wiped her tears, trying to smile brightly at them. "Did you at least dress up?" She tried changing the subject. "What did you wear?"

"It was..." She looked at the silent tears still falling down the old lady's cheeks as she pursed her lips, waiting for the reply. "It was a light blue dress with flowers embroidered along the bottom."

It was a lie. It was a terrible lie but she knew she said the right thing when her grandmother's lips widened into a happy smile. "You must have looked beautiful. Blue was always your father's favourite colour."

"It was?"

"Yes blue was his favourite colour. He loved the colour blue and he loved strawberry jam on white-bread toast and he loved collecting watches. He had the biggest collection you could ever imagine." She smiled fondly at his memory. "But more than anything," her smile fell as she looked back at Tasneem, "he loved you and your brothers more than anything else in the world."

"Then why did he leave if he loved us that much?"

Aamina shivered slightly, curling into herself as if to fight of the cold.

He left because your mother forbade him from ever seeing you again.