A/N Before you start, I just need to explain our schooling system or this chapter won't make sense at all. So during matric/grade 12, we write our finals and it's set by the department and it's a pretty huge deal. But our papers aren't marked by our teachers, they are marked by external moderators and those marks are sent to the department who then calculates our final marks. And these marks are only released about 6-8 weeks after our finals are completed (early January before the start of the new school year) 

On that day, they actually publish the names and the amount of distinctions (A's) of each student that passed in just about every national and local newspaper and then we go to our respective schools to receive our department issued certificates/reports and then we go back home. Also depending on our marks, we receive a university admissions pass or if it's low then we can attend a technikon or whatever it is.

And now... for the chapter... But the surprise will only come in the next chapter :)

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I carry your heart with me (I carry it in

My heart) I am never without it (anywhere

I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done

By only me is your doing, my darling)

I fear

No fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) I want

No world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)

And you are whatever a moon has always meant

And whatever a sun will always sing is you.

It had been so long since she had last seen him and there he stood before her, with both of her hands in his as she leaned against the trunk of the old, dulled oak tree in the parking lot.

They had come to school for the last time, but they were no longer students. The rules that governed the school did not apply to them anymore. They walked into the majestic metal gates on a warm January morning dressed in mini skirts and three-quarter trousers. Their uniforms had already been packed away and their school shoes had already been passed on to those who might have found a better use for it. Their teachers smiled graciously at them as if they had never set eyes on them before as they laughed and joked with the younger ones gathered around. Gone was the stiff school atmosphere, for these students were no longer in school.

They had come that morning only to collect the last token that would tie them to the school. Their reports had been already been printed out and signed by the various department officials and it was placed in an inconspicuous brown envelope for them to walk in and collect.

It was a strange feeling rooted deeply in every student's heart. They were excited to know that they would never have to walk into those school gates again but their excitement was shrouded in fear, trepidation and a deep seeded anxiety over not knowing what was to come. The school was safe. It was stable and they knew what was expected of them. They had to only walk in, listen to the instructions and complete their work. It was predictable but it was that very predictability that cocooned them in warmth and protection against the outside.

They were now adults. They were off to begin their lives- They were off to University or to travel or to finally marry those that have captured their young hearts and tender souls. They didn't know what was to come and it frightened them- though none would ever show it.

She had walked in that morning, expecting that he had already picked up his report and walked home. She was late as it was and she felt a strange sort of ache in her heart when she thought about the fact that she might not see him one last time before he had left.

But there he was- leaning against the wall away from the office as he enjoyed the early morning sunshine on his face. She had never seen him in ordinary clothes so the sight of him in only a plain, long sleeved black t-shirt and light blue jeans caused something funny within her. Her eyes widened for only a fraction of a second as she felt her heart thumping slowly against her ribs. His eyes were closed and he hadn't even realised that she was watching him for a little longer than she intended to.

"Hey." He felt her shoulder rub gently against his arm before he opened his eyes to look down at her.

"Hi."

"I looked for your marks in the paper this morning," She said, somewhat embarrassed to have admitted it. "You did really well."

His lips quirked into the semblance of a smile before he looked away again. "Will you come with me?" He pushed himself off the wall before he held out his hand for her to hold onto.

She smiled up at him, gripping onto his palm with her short, stubby fingers before following him towards the parking lot. It was almost empty of all cars as only a few teachers had offered to sacrifice their morning to congratulate the students and it felt as if they were trespassing for some reason. It no longer felt as if they belonged in the courtyard or the auditorium or the parking lot. They weren't students anymore...

"I'm leaving tomorrow."

They had taken shade under the old oak tree in the centre of the parking lot. The wide trunk had shielded them from any wondering eyes that might have passed and the large canopy above them gave them privacy from even the inquisitive Sun above them.

"Will you come back for the holidays?"

His silence had spoken volumes. There was nothing for him to come back to- once he would leave, that would be it.

Her heart clenched almost painfully in her chest at the thought of it.

She hadn't even realised that she had fisted the corner of her envelope till she felt it being pried gently from her hand before he set it on the floor besides them.

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I didn't gain a university pass." She looked down, embarrassed to have admitted her low marks to him.

He took her right hand in his, holding it softly, delicately as if he were touching the wing of an Acraea Butterfly before he gathered her left hand in his. Everything about her was different to him. Where his palms were rough, hers were smooth. Where his fingers were long, hers were short. Where his eyes were light, hers were dark. Where his skin was a pale white, hers was a light brown. Where his body was hard and built with muscle, hers was soft and round and beautiful.

"Hey little bee."

His soft, husky voice sounded close to her ear.

"Yes?" She looked up at him, smiling at the way he looked down at her. She knew what the others saw as she looked at him because it was the same thing she saw reflected in his dimmed eyes and his slight smile.

"Will you do something for me?"

"What?"

"Close your eyes with me." He said, leaning his forehead against her own. He could count every black eyelash that framed her eyes. He tried hard to memorise her face as she stood just like that. He tried to remember her plump red lips, the dip in her cheek that popped out whenever she spoke and the slight gap between her two front teeth. His gaze roamed over her little round nose with a faint black beauty spot near her eyebrow and the light pink flush that seemed to top her rounded cheeks.

They had been friends for only four months yet those four months held more beauty to him than his entire life and he wanted to revel in it- for just a little while longer.

She loved the fact that he smelled of fabric softener and Colgate shampoo as he stood closer to her than he ever had before. It was as if they were desperate to grasp onto these last few moments of normalcy. Neither would feel the peace and serenity that came with the other and they were hesitant to let it go. Seconds and Minutes and had shied away from them, too bashful and wary to even consider interrupting the young friends. They had lost themselves in their own world, where time had never even existed. All that was, was the chirping of the sparrows above them as they flew from branch to branch and the light breeze that swayed past them and the soft rustling of the leaves above them as it played to the soft music of the wind around it.

He wanted to kiss her.

For the first time in his life, he was just a boy. He was a boy who had feelings for a girl and for the first time in his life, he wanted to know what it felt like to kiss someone.

And for the first time in her life, she was just a girl. She was a girl who liked a boy and she wished with all her heart that he would kiss her. And she would keep that kiss as a token of their young adoration and their friendship- their simplest form of sweet, innocent love.

She could feel his breath dance across her lips as his fingers tightened around hers. If she opened her eyes, she was sure she would be able to count each and every one of the freckles covering his face.

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

And the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which

Grows

Higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)

And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)

"One day," she felt his lips graze her fingers lightly as she placed her hand gently before his mouth, "you're never going to leave and when that happens, I'll never stop kissing you."

He opened his eyes to look at her, though neither had moved apart just yet and his breath was still warm against the skin of her fingertips. He watched, completely awed, as she leaned forward and kissed the tips of her fingers that were still placed softly against his lips.

He moved back- only a little- before he grasped her hand in his once again. "One day." He promised, raising her hand to his lips before he brushed one final kiss to the tips of her fingernails...

One day...

I carry your heart.

I carry it in my heart.

...

"Mum." Riaz knelt before her bed, tapping her shoulder gently in order to wake her up. No one was home except for him and her and he wanted it just that way. "Look."

He raised his copy of his certificate before her eyes and waited for her to read through his marks.

"Nine distinctions." She whispered softly.

"Yes Mum."

She cupped his cheek in her hand, smiling down at him from her place on her bed. "I'm so proud of you."

He grasped onto her fingers, holding it just a little closer. "I'm leaving tomorrow." He didn't want to leave her. The thought of leaving her alone seemed to shatter him completely but he had to do it.

"Where are you going to?" She sounded confused- as she always did.

"To Joburg Mama. I'm going to study."

He could see the little glistening drops as they clung to surface of her eyes. "Are you all packed?" She sat up slowly, before she grasped his large hand in both of her smaller ones.

"Yes." He smiled at her, hating the sadness etched all over her face.

"Do you have all of your jerseys?"

"Yes I do." He rested his head in the crook of her neck, hiding himself from the tears in her eyes. "I don't want to leave." He admitted softly.

"You have to study." She said softly, running her hand through his beautiful blonde hair. "You have to become someone in this world."

"I don't want to leave you."

"You'll never leave me." she said, pulling his head back so that she could look at him. "You're always here." She rested her hand over her heart.

He smiled at her, ignoring the two silent tears that fell into his mouth. "You're always in my heart too."

"I love you."

And she held him to her as she had always done when he was a little boy who was just too afraid of the dark.

...

She had waited till everyone was asleep before she had even dared to open the little squared piece of paper...

And as her eyes scanned each line on the page, she felt something blossom within her heart. It was as if summer had descended upon her soul and the tiny bud of hope and happiness that she thought was dead and decayed had blossomed into the most beautiful flower that she would never be able to imagine...

She was a window flower,

And he a winter breeze.

When the frosty window veil

Was melted down at noon,

And the caged yellow bird

Hung over her in tune,

He marked her through the pane,

He could not help but mark,

And only passed her by,

To come again at dark.

He was a winter wind,

Concerned with ice and snow,

Dead weeds and unmated birds,

And little of love could know.

But he sighed upon the sill,

He gave the sash a shake,

As witness all within,

Who lay that night awake.

Perchance he half prevailed

To win her for the flight

From the firelit looking-glass

And warm stove-window light.

But the flower leaned aside

And thought of naught to say,

And morning found the breeze

A hundred miles away.

Little Bee, think of me.

Please.

...

The light had only yet begun to greet the day when Riaz had boarded the bus to Joburg. He was scared.He was leaving all he had ever known behind and he didn't know what to do. He sat down and turned to face the window, watching the other people pass by as the bus began to press slowly forward.

His life was passing by those very windows and he didn't know how to stop it.

He dug the crumpled, white note out of his pocket and read it one last time before he closed his eyes and waited for the darkness to arrive...

Every other Tuesday of every single month,write to me.

A/N- the poems used in this chapter are:

 I Carry Your Heart With Me by E.E. Cummings.

The Wind And The Window Flower by Robert Frost