How?!
How did she again fall into that dent, that kept her down in the past?

What, did she need any distraction?
Yes, Maybe.

That's why Eva found herself kissing Jonas, right now at Sana's Eid Party.

What?!

What did she think?
What did she thought about his statement on her bed?

She did gave a spicy truth on his face then, which she did mean too.
But, what was this pain now?! That she wanted to be ease up.
Fade away.
Like it never existed.

Her heart was in a twist.
Her guts were burning.
Her eyes were clouding.

Did her heart really rooted for what he proposed then?

Maybe, yes.

That's why she wasn't able to look at him, when he had his lips attached to someone else.

Eva's skin became warm out of jealousy, which she didn't knew ever existed that it would arise if Chris would be with anyone else. They weren't together. They were just friends with benefits, and it was even between them. Clear like water, without any impurity. Than why was she feeling this.

" You thought he would be with you?! ", said Jonas, caressing her cheek with his thumb.

Eva's breaths were laboured. Her mind was telling her to think straight, despite of the thoughts that caused hurricane inside her pit.

She roamed her eyes around, and found Noora and her other friends exchanging greetings. Even and Isak were bit far away laughing with Eskild, and Sana.

Then her eyes met with Jonas' and she realised her mistake. One she was going to do again. Repeating the past wasn't now in Eva's mindset.

She had decided to change her habits, and bring her academic score on track. And right now, the thing she was doing could break her to pieces.

" I can't do this. "

" Eva?! " His bushy eyebrows were up in his forehead.

Not replying to Jonas, Eva stepped back. " Goodbye, Jonas. "

She headed straight towards Noora.

" I am going home. ", said Eva looking into Noora's eyes.

She knew Noora would understand and won't ask further. And party was coming to an end, so their was no space that she needed any excuses any further.

And yes Noora did saw her state, she glanced at Chris who was now talking to Emma, while her hands were rested on his shoulders.

" As you wish Eva. You need a lift? Should we drop you?! ", concern was written on Noora's face, she looked at William and he nodded.

" No. I will walk. ", said Eva, shaking her head.

" Are you sure? "

" Yes. " With that said, she walked out, waving Sana goodbye with a best possible smile she could conjure.

Looking down she walked on the metalled road aside the main lines, concentrating her mind hard, on her steps. She didn't wanted to recall any of the moments related to Chris. Every time she would close her eyes, she would get a picture of him and Emma kissing. Her paranoid brain wasn't letting her feel at ease. But it wasn't like it was in her control to be oblivious to whatever her brain sprouted. She wanted to feel numb bit her heart was pounding with hurt and she could take only so much pain.

Subconsciously, finding her way home she opened her main door and slammed it shut. Not carrying about anything in darkness, she just followed her habituated path towards basement.

Her throat hurt, with the subtle mute sobs it encased.

Wanting to let everything go like a young adolescent, she screamed her feelings out and fresh tears.

" Why?!!!! "

" Why?!!!! Am I so pathetic?!! He is just another boy!!! I can get another anywhere. It's not necessary to be him. Please, forget him!!!! "

Combing her fingers in her messed up hair, she tried to make herself understand. When she looked up in the mirror after several minutes, and calm breathing rhythm, she felt herself at ease. Her eyes we're swollen but it wasn't important. Now, it hurted less but still closing her eyes she could see his hazel ones. And her heart would yearn again for him.

Eva didn't know how, but the flashes of their uncountable nights flashed everytime she looked anywhere in her room. The glimpse of his small acts when they were together for a night, the way he took care of her, unknowingly making love to her, made her guts twist and cheeks flushed. He wasn't their with her now still his memories made her uneasy. Maybe, it was his inbuilt characteristics to make her feel the way she felt, and hold her the way he held. It was always him to take a lead whenever they hooked up, assuring her in a very gentle way with his actions. Like he worshiped her body as done by any slave. It was always a pure desire, flames that she saw in his eyes. And when it came out in form of sentence like that particular morning, she didn't knew how they found themselves their. She knew she made a mistake, without knowing herself. Her mother did approve of him, yet she never gave him chance and now she regrets it to the bottom of her blazing heart. Her soul yearning for him and mind flashing her his face, Eva had no where else to go.

Turning the shower on she let her tears mix under it. Focusing on the noise of every drop of water she tried to calm herself. And, breathed in and breathed out. It was working little bit, and she wasn't up for anything that would shake the grounds she stood on. She was worn out, and still night was young. She knew not, of what was yet to come.

...

He was in hurry. He saw her leaving in quite-not-palpable tears, and boy, did the view stabbed him on the heart.

His ego was bruised when she on face called him fuckboy, when he was only with her for months. He wanted to hurt her just because he couldn't have her.

Realising his mistake, he regretted it thousands times. Where did the feeling of hurting her came from? He was never like this until, that slithering masked feelings crawled up his chest, whenever he had his eyes on her. That was too mind-boggling for him, but not now. Now he was going to chase his desires.

Giving a nod to William, he dashed out of the Eid-party. Took his car out of the parking lot and speeded over Eva's house.

Today he would speak every emotions out, which he kept buried deep in his soul. He would not let his fuckboy face destroy the happiness he loves dear the most.

If anyone would have told Chris before, that he would pursue Eva like the maniac he has turned out to be today, he sure would have told them their brains are fucked. Now, he believed more as it has been his condition. He has felt for her and was way too deep. Before then, he had laughed on William hearing about his date Friday night for Noora. William never did dates, except once that was his first with Noora. It was hard for him to get her convinced seeing his character. Same anxiety Chris feared when this came for Eva. He chickened out and made a bullshit story about his dream which now brought him cringes. He could have thought of something natural rather than that story or asking Jonas about flowers. Things that he had noted about Eva, he had visited her. Even though for hookups or just to hang out. A shiver crawled his palms that were over wheel perking his anxiety to a degrees.

He can't leave her be.
He loved her most. And it's gravity he felt it today, when her tears were bricks on his heart.

Parking the car in her garage, he climbed out and on her porch, without thinking to lock the car.

...

Eva was under shower when she heard the low sound of doorbell ringing frequently. Turning off the shower, Eva looked for her bathrobe and wore it against her dripping body. Her hair were wet and drops of water were all over the floor as she crossed her room, towards the living room.

Whoever was on the main door was sure going to have a lash out from her. She was ready to drain her frustrations on the person for disturbing her wallowing session.

Gritting her teeth and having curses on her tongue she slammed the door open, and was shocked to find an anxious Chris with his shirt out of his dress pants and his cropped hair struck on his forehead.

Before she could say anything, which he thought she would, he invited himself in and shut the door with a bolt.

" Chris, what are you doing? Why have you come here? I am not feeling well please leave. "

Feeling defeated, her voice turned dim at last. She struts over sofa and sits on one placed at the far end.

" What do you have to say? "

Her eyes fixed on the glass table. Her wet hair making her feel damp and cold, adds to the uncomfortable feeling she is having now.

Chris stands in front of her and kneels down so he can be to her level.

His proximity corners her and she leans back still look down, now at her lap and intertwined fingers.

" I know you don't believe me Eva. But trust me, it was never my intention to hurt you. It was just that you calling me fuck-boy and neglecting my feelings for you made me angry. I want you all for me, Eva. Before, I had no conscience of what this was. Today, I felt it's gravity, and believe me Eva, I won't disappoint you please give me one chance to prove that to you. Please. "

She watched him unfold his heart and at last a single tear escaped her eye. She had thought they were over, but his words pierced through her heart.

" I-I don't know what to say. I know what this feeling is, but I am scared Chris. For us. Like, something would come around and blow off our lights out. I want this to stay. I don't want this moment to end. "

Her chin quivered.

He dragged his feet beside her and took her in his warm embrace. Her sobs cracked again and she let him comfort her. At last, his heart was at ease, having her in his arms. All for him.

" I promise you this is forever, Eva. We have forever. "