I cannot remember when the realization hit. Possibly a month later? It wasn't a good feeling for me, you know. It felt like my entire life was some lie I continued living, without knowing the truth.

I had connected the dots after a job, collapsed on my bed and staring at the ceiling, gun at my side.

I didn't love Cecil.

Why?

Because he was a friend. I was merely desperate to fill a void in my life. My existence was never meant to be lonely, and it was telling me that.

In an inhumanely cruel way, at that.

I was faced with a decision to make, late at noun \ˈləv\
night, eyes clouded with angry tears directed towards my ignorance.

How do I break the news to Cecil?

What do you do in that type of situation, anyway? You become someone's boyfriend of what, half a year, and find out you don't actually love them?

Yeah.

That's my life right now.

But, by the next morning, I had decided if he could handle me being in the black market without telling anyone, he can handle this.

Right?

I felt horrible about it, don't get me wrong. I knew he loved me unconditionally.

The only problem with it was- I didn't love him.

"A Formal event next month? God, I don't wanna go to that." I groaned, leaning my head back in my seat.
"But you have to. It's in your job description. On the top of jobs-" Cynthia began.
"Who do they want me to kill this time." I sighed, locking eyes with the security camera in the corner of my office.
"No one. Yet." She said.
"You gotta tell Cecil now, though." My friend with artificial intelligence advised.

"Yeah, yeah." I sighed, legs falling from atop my desk. Staring at the contact in my phone, I took a deep intake of breath.

I released it.

  And, with it, Cecil.

"Hey, Mika! I just saw something really cool and-"

"Cecil, I think we should break up." I mumbled.

"What?" His voice was strained on the other line. My heart pounded in my head.

"I... Don't love you. I'm so sorry I didn't realize it later."

"Is this because of Yuichiro?"
He was doubting me.

"What? No. Not at all. Just please, stay my friend. I don't have many of those, and I do care about you."

A long pause.

When he spoke through the painful silence, I almost didn't hear his response.

"Alright."

//✄//

"I don't know what to do." My voice was barely above a whisper, staring at the phone I had thrown across the room.

"How can I protect you if you're not constantly by my side?" I asked the oblivion spreading out before me.

To be entirely honest, I was terrified of Mikaela. Not him necessarily, more so the profession he held. It scared me, but at the same time, it seemed to invite me.

"How can I save you from your Ghost if you've pushed me away?" I asked out to the darkness of my room. In my hand was a lighter that I fiddled with absently, flicking the flame on and off.

Just like Mikaela, the flame entranced me, and dragged me deeper into nothingness.

I refused to work that day, sitting in the dark depths of my room in silence, replaying every moment I've spent with him.

My phone rang. I don't know how long I had sat on my, wallowing in my own despair to protect him.

"Hello, Cecil Rogue. My name is Olympia. What are your desires?" A calm voice greeted me when I had answered the phone. Very upfront, but there was something in her voice that threatened me to answer. But I was desperate for anything that could come my way to help, answering regardless.

"I want to protect Mikaela Shindo."

"Wonderful. How do you feel on murder? I know you've helped with it before."

"I don't care. Everyone dies at some point. What does it matter if death greets someone a little sooner than expected?" I muttered to the phone.

A faint electric humming that sounded oddly human emitted from the other line.

"Wonderful. I have a proposal to make."

My curiosity was peaking the more this robotic sounding woman spoke. I didn't know who she was, who she worked for, or how she knew I had helped Mikaela kill Alison.

"I am one of... Mikaela's superficials, in a way. I work for one of them. She wanted me to reach out to you and give you an alternative to protecting your love."

"So, what is it? I don't like waiting." I sighed, turning the lighter over between my fingers.

"You like fire?" She asked, getting distracted.

"Yes. You can see me?"

"Of course I can. I can see everything and anything lest it be rooms Mikaela is currently within." She answered simply, answering my second question without me asking.

"Hm... It's been a while since we've had someone who likes arson... Alright, Cecil, here's your options." She paused for what I assumed to be a dramatic effect.

"First option; you can join the black market and do the work that the Ghost and Beast refuse to do, being most cases of murder where the persons have done nothing wrong, but someone still wants dead."

That didn't seem like quite a bad deal, honestly.

"And the second option?" I asked, thumb rubbing the ridges of my lighter.

"You live every waking day with the knowledge eating you alive that Mikaela can die and you could do nothing about it. He could not show up to work one day, and then the next, and so forth. And you wouldn't know until you receive an invitation to his funeral, written by someone unknown. Maybe Yuichiro. Maybe someone else. But you will sit there, in shock, tears welling up in your eyes, as realization sets in. You were never able to protect him and stay innocent. You would see his peaceful face plagued by death, and have a thought as Yuichiro sobs beside you. Your love was always meant to be requited.
But, maybe, if you had just accepted the offer the mysterious woman named Olympia presented, you could ha-"

"Deal." I growled, much wanting the torture of her painfully detailed descriptions to end. She breathed in what seemed to be relief.

Then she was back to monotone.

"Very well. Welcome to the Association, Cecil. Your jobs will begin tomorrow night."

All of this was for him.

Even though he was the one to end our relationship that had no problems.

"Good luck protecting him."

For him.