Star, Star, why the scars?

It's tearing me and my friends apart,

Why can't I travel back to space?

So everything can be replaced.

They do not care, they make it so,

That if I mess up they will go,

You are a mess, you're out of place,

Do not return, please be erased...

~~~

Constellations took over my imagination. They filled me with confusion, imagination, and curiosity. The stars were glowing above me, and I felt as if I belonged there. For some odd reason I needed to be there, with the stars. They made me happy, they made me feel safe. Most importantly, they made me feel like I could be free. They allowed me to express who I really was. They never judged me, or made fun of me.

"Jason..." goosebumps rose from my arms, as I heard the chilling, yet familiar voice. It nearly calmed me, yet it seemed to freak me out. "Oh, Jason. Thinking you can escape the hell you were born in. It makes me amused, how much you think about leaving Earth, and how determined you are to do so."

"Shut up." I mumbled, suddenly thinking about how stupid I was.

"This is your weakness. Yourself. And me, but that's not why I'm here. You can escape, yes. But it takes some mental thoughts to do that. Now, I don't need you to waste my time. I am leaving for a moment, and think about this: Why do you exist?" I shivered, as I waited several minutes for the voice to leave. Why did I exist? Well, there are many reasons why people exist. Maybe they have a purpose, which I most certainly haven't found. Maybe they're supposed to find love. HA! In my dreams. Maybe they're supposed to be a leader. YEAH RIGHT! A leader, in my dreams. I'm nothing. I was put on this stupid Earth to be a follower, a loner, and a... a... GAH! WHY WAS I HERE? NOW? WHY NOT IN THE PAST? OR THE FUTURE?

"WHY DO I HATE MYSELF?" I yelled. I looked at my surroundings, and I fell, off of a tree branch. I landed on my back, and rolled down the hill to the edge of a rocky river-shore. The moon was glowing, but the one thing I could see was a star. A blue, glowing star. It was brighter than the rest. A wishing star. I didn't need a wish, or did I? Many more thoughts filled my head as I instantly fell into the water. Yet I didn't get out. I wanted to float in the water. I wanted my back to be cooled by the reflecting water, and I wanted a good view of the one star. Soon, I saw many stars coming from behind the blue one, and they moved around. Some spun, some dashed, and others flew further distances. Within seconds, the stars stopping moving altogether. I looked around the blue star, and noticed an unusual constellation. It was a butterfly. The constellation was a butterfly. Why a butterfly? Yet somehow, the strange constellation calmed me down. It made me feel relaxed. By now my clothes were soaked, and the Moon was almost right above me. I could hear crashing waters, and mist was shooting from the sides of rocky surfaces, sprinkling what was above the moving waters. Soon, it became more violent, forcefully carrying my body into even more waves, and soon they were rising above my head, drenching me in the water, and turning my senses into colder, bitter feelings. I could only feel the warm, salty tears making my sight blurry. I knew what was bound to happen. I could hear it, and I could feel it. A waterfall. Not just a small one, a HUGE one, up to 140 feet. But I didn't resist. I didn't move. I didn't try to save myself. I only laid there, only watching the sky, and only seeing the butterfly constellation. And that constellation was the last thing I saw, before I fell 140 feet, and landed in the water.

***

"Jason..." the world was pitch black. "Jason..." the voice became closer. "Jason..." I didn't want to know what or who was calling me. "JASON!" I shot up, sweat running down my forehead. It was all a dream. A very... realistic dream. I looked up to see Tyler, and his thick, black glasses were stained with tears. "You scared me!" I groaned, and asked Tyler,

"What happened?"

"You were mumbling things in your sleep, like 'Why do I hate myself?'. Then, you were moving around. You were also crying your sleep. You had this whole thing, and then you just stopped. You stopping moving in general. I was so worried, you woke me up!" he whispered. I looked over to my clock. 2:37. In the morning.

"Tyler, something's up."

"No kidding."

"My dream, I think I died in my dream."

"Wait, what was the last thing you saw in your sleep?" Tyler waited for an answer. Should I say it? What would happen?

"Tyler, I saw a constellation. A constellation of a butterfly." Tyler gave me this look. In his eyes, I saw fear, and I saw pain.

"A-A... butterfly? Oh Jason please no! You can't! There's... no way I'd let you."

"Let me what?" I sat up.

"There's no way I'd let you die. Jason, there's so many people out there who care about you. Please, don't do this." I could feel tears finding their way to my eyes, and then I felt this sense of warmth. Tyler was hugging me, and I hugged him back. The one thing that was on my mind was the butterfly, and I didn't enjoy it.

~~~

Star, Star, why the scars?

It's tearing me and my friends apart,

Why can't I travel back to space?

So everything can be replaced.

They do not care, they make it so,

That if I mess up they will go,

You are a mess, you're out of place,

Do not return, please be erased...

Please, Please, listen to me,

As this is an important speech.

The price I paid is not enough,

To thank the ones I truly love.

Their time was wasted on the tears,

I cried when I said I had feared,

the day they left me all alone,

in darkness and the bitter cold.

My best friend was on the verge of tears,

My mother was upset,

My father didn't seem to care,

My boyfriend was the best.

He comforted me when I was blue

He made me happy again

But when it seemed to come around

This was what he said:

"Look at me. Look into my eyes, and please listen. Morgan, I refuse to let you be this way. I don't want you be sad. It kills me every time you are. Because you, out of all people, don't deserve to be sad. I believe you think you're a freak, or loser. You're anything but that in my eyes. What I see, is someone who is amazing. Morgan, you're are the most perfect person I have ever met. You're funny, you're energetic, and your talented. You somehow manage to turn even the crappiest day into some of the best days. You're creative, inspiring, and a role model. You're in so many things, and so many people would LOVE to know someone as perfect as you. You're kind, sweet, and generous. I could NEVER picture you as someone rude, or selfish. You have this sense of feelings. You can tell when someone needs help, and you go for it, whenever it's a stranger, or an animal. But most importantly, you're beautiful. And not only on the outside, but in the inside. When I first met you, when I first saw you, I fell in love. You have this way with people. It's like when someone looks at you, they instantly fall in love. Over the 3 years I've known you, you've the been the nicest, most amazing girl I've ever met. And believe me when I say this, I never, EVER want to let you go. If I did I would HATE myself. Please, don't treat yourself like this. You deserve everything in the world. And Morgan, I really do hope you know that I love you."

~~~

And while I was writing Mitch's words, I began to cry. We DID break up, but then he texted me, telling me to answer my Skype. So, I did. He took a plane along with his sister to Florida, and apparently has been staying with his aunt and uncle while his parents drove all their stuff from their old house to the new one. That's must've took forever. But earlier today, he had sent me the text, and I had read it. I guess once he saw that I had read it, I got a call on my computer from Skype, so I answered it. He was on his laptop, and he repeated this, because I had recently told him that I had another round of voices and hallucinations. Then he told me that he made a mistake breaking up with me, and that I was too perfect to lose, so he asked me again,

"Will you be my girlfriend?" Me being me, of course I said yes. I mean, wouldn't you? *wink wink*. I think that this BY FAR is the biggest message, and I think that it's the most important. I know that I won't be able to meet MOST of you in real life. But, hear me out. I know that you might think that I'm just some girl who writes stories, and hides behind a screen, and that's true. I do. But, I've been through some tragic things, and this story was inspired by a dream I had months ago. Please know that I care about you all, and that I love you guys, not only because you follow me, but because you have the best support, and that's what motivates me to keep writing, and keep being myself. If I had a chance to meet you I would take it, because that's how you mean to me. Yes, there's a lot more stories to come, and a lot more messages. I hope you all liked this one, as it gave me a case of the feels.

I love you all so much, and I'll see you soon.

Thank you, ~Morgan <3

#NoMoreBullying