Hey, Uhm this isn't requested but imma just...put it here lol

Don't worry, I am trying to think of oneshots for those who requested ^-^

Genre: Angst because bitch is emo mode at this ungodly hour and Fluff in the end because I'm not that mean :)

⚠Trigger warning⚠

•cyber bullying

•depression

•self-harm

•slut-shamed

•threats

•sexual harassment

Words: 4565

Also I wrote this from 12:43 am to 5:56 am...so mistakes? Me sowwy :(

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The Dreamies were recording a VLive in one of the rooms in the SM Building. The seating went from Renjun, Haechan, Jeno, Jaemin, Chenle and lastly Jisung in Left to Right order.

As always, Jisung and Chenle were joking around making jokes and poking at each other with Chenle letting out an earful dolphin scream. Renjun and Haechan were at first teasing each other, until the teasing turned into a wrestling match. And lastly but certainly not the least, Jeno and Jaemin were watching the whole chaos and whispering to each other here and there, Jaemin laughed at both what Jeno whispered to him and how Haechan's face turned almost purple from Renjun's headlock.

Jeno was mostly quiet the whole live watching the members be themselves. One fan commented "puppy Jenooo why are you quiet? Say something plsss :(" Truth be told, he was actually tired because he couldn't sleep last night. Nonetheless he just smiled at the camera and said nothing, until Jaemin noticed the comment and read it out loud.

"That's because Jeno is boring" Renjun said jokingly, Haechan hummed agreeing to him while poking his side again earning another headlock from the older.

"Jeno hyung is always boring" Jisung said laughing as the others laughed with him, except Jeno. He just smiles, as always.

A few minutes in, Jeno decided he should try to talk since the comments were almost filled with him being quiet and the fans were worried that he wasn't feeling well. Some of those comments were from the same people basically spamming. He almost chuckled at that, atleast some people are worried. He thought

"Czennies, did you know that I found a cute family of ducks when I went biking the other day alone? They were cute an–" he gets cut off as Haechan fakes a yawn as Renjun looked at his watch and the other three on his left were trying not to fall asleep on his story. He sighs and smiled at the camera anyway. As always.

"That was it" he said, comments were filled with "aawww, I wanna hear more" as the other members looked up like they were just awoken from their slumber.

"That was sooo boring I actually fell asleep" Chenle said rubbing his eye as the older members snicker at him and Jisung grabbing the phone again. They all went back to their own business with Haechan talking and Jaemin laughing loudly when Renjun yelled at the tanned male as the boy tried to kiss him.

Another few minutes in with the members telling jokes and laughing at each one, Jeno's confidence slightly went up and decided to tell one as well, "I think I know why we tell the actors to 'break a leg'–" he giggles a little "because every play has a cast" he continues to giggle like he accomplished something as the other members had poker faces.

Renjun sighs "Ahhh, Jeno-ah, what was that?" Chenle snorted at the older boy's distress look.

"Jeno really is nojam, He's not funny" Haechan teases making Jisung and Jaemin laugh while Chenle nodded looking at Renjun who fakes his state by placing his index finger and thumb on the bridge of his nose.

Jeno blinked, he knows they were just joking and Haechan is one of the members that liked to tease a lot, but it still made him feel uneasy. So he fakes a laugh and smiled anyway as they continued for a few more minutes with him being quiet as usual, Maybe he's just tired.

At the dream dorm, Jeno is being himself, his true self. He may not be clingy as what others describe him– especially fans on camera, social media or in public, but he's very clingy in the dorm, He's just shy to admit it because fans described and expects him as the manly one in the group when in reality, He's actually very soft, and the one who needs cuddles the most.

Maybe because of his muscles? His biceps? Or his sharp jawline and tall nose that makes him look like the ugly stone face Moai Emoji? Or the way his face turns intimidating on stage or when he's staring off?

Either way, Jeno is someone that is expected to be someone he's shy to admit just because of his appearance.

Normally he tries not to get too clingy on the members on camera, yeah a little hug, laying his head on their shoulders, placing his thick thighs on their laps, sitting on Jaemin's lap is his favorite. He feels comfortable and safe with the boy the most considering 8 years of their friendship and 3 years of dating in that.

He was in his shorts and Jaemin's hoodie–which is a bit big for him making him have sweater paws but he doesn't mind, he likes them as usual, walking around the living room and found the two youngest on the couch playing a video game. "Hey chenji" he greets as the boys ignore him too focused on the game.

He sits beside Jisung and quietly watched them play with Chenle bossing Jisung around telling him to look at the damn map for once. Soon he got bored, so he stood up.

He looks around and saw Renjun in the dining table drawing something, he walks over and plops on the seat beside the boy accidentally bumping their elbows and a red smear was now on Mona Lisa's face looking like she just got a knife sliced onto her.

Renjun shrieks and glares at him "oops! Sorry Inju–" the elder placed a hand in front of his face signaling to stop.

"It's fine" the elder said stressed out looking at what he worked hard on, the drawing was still ok, it just has a red smear on the lady's face, it's easy to remove though.

Jeno pursed his lips together feeling guilty, he opens his mouth to apologize as he is always like that, Renjun beats him to it sadly "just– go to Haechan and Jaemin or something" grabbing an eraser to undo the smear on poor Mona Lisa's face.

Jeno nodded and slowly stood up not wanting to do something that the other would get mad again, he watches as Renjun lets out a sigh fixing the accident with furrowed eyebrows. "Sorry" Jeno whispers guilty of something that wasn't really a big deal before leaving to find the other two members.

The two boys were in Jaemin and Jisung's room playing monopoly with Jaemin slightly winning but not really since Haechan cheated a few times.

Jeno doesn't bother knocking because he didn't feel like it, he walks over to Jaemin's bed where the boys were and hops on it making the dices that was once a 6 and 6 now changed into 4 and 2.

Jaemin looks at him laughing "Yah! Nojam be careful next time" Haechan does a little victory dance after seeing an opportunity to beat the blue haired boy. Jeno nodded smiling as always but still feeling guilty.

A few minutes in, he started blowing onto Haechan's ear and latched himself onto the boy's side making the latter distracted and not able to play properly, "Yah! Jeno-yah! Stop it you're so annoying!"

Jeno stops immediately and pulls away mumbling a "sorry" and stayed put on his place looking down like a puppy that was in trouble. Jaemin frowns a little and placed a comforting hand on his bare thigh and beckons him to move closer, he does a little since he doesn't want to annoy someone again.

"Are you ok?" Jaemin whispers as Haechan was busy counting his damn money and accused the blue haired boy that he stole his fucking $500. He nods and smiles at him before Haechan found the missing fake money that was actually on his ass the entire time.

Jaemin furrowed his eyebrows at his boyfriend, doubting the reply before rolling the dices again.

Jeno looked like a fucking statue of a puppy that was in trouble the whole game until Renjun called them for dinner.

Jeno lays down on his bed and covers himself with his comforter up to his nose and scrolls down social media, his phone on his left hand and right one clutching the elephant plushie onto his chest as he stumbles upon posts of himself.

"Jeno is nojam" he's seen many of those already, he doesn't want to remind himself how he's underrated unless it comes to looks, so he skips and continues.

"Jeno being annoying" he bits his lower lip, it's kinda true he thought, he is actually annoying like what the members said.

"Jeno's a top, no changing that fact" he rolls his eyes at that one, just because he's built and looks manly doesn't mean he's a top. People these days really focus on the appearance more than the person's real behavior.

"Lee Jeno is ugly and untalented" he frowns and bites his lip harder watching how people compared him to other idols and the NCT members. The more he watches, the more the thought of being ugly and untalented sticks to his mind.

He watches how his dancing skills were compared to Ten and Jisung, he watches how his looks were compared to Jaemin and Jaehyun, he watches how his rapping skills were compared to Taeyong and Mark, he watches how his vocal skills were compared to Haechan, Renjun, Chenle, Taeil and Doyoung, he watches how his stage presence were compared to everyone. He watches until he the video ends.

He pauses for a while and glances at Renjun's bed to check if the elder was still asleep, he was. So he continues to scroll.

"NCT Dream's Jeno Lee is a slut and a manwhore" he reads feeling his lips bleeding and the taste of metal touching his tongue and his grip on the plushie tightens. He clicks.

He watches the video of him in revealing clothes or well in clothes that show off his muscles and his tight jeans showing his thighs, the video of him ripping his shirt off pops up, the next ones were him accidentally showing his tummy when he tried to do a handstand or Jaemin lifting the hem of his shirt for fun.

He reads the comments.

"Ew what a whore"

Breath

"Fucking slut, The hell is this?"

Breath

"SM CONTROL YOUR IDOLS AND LOCK THEM IN ESPECIALLY HORNY ONES"

Breath

"MY EYES!! THE ACTUAL FUCK!"

Breath Jeno

"Oh my god can they kick him out? This is slut culture"

Breath Jeno

"There's fucking kids in the audience! Learn to keep your legs closed whore!"

Deep breaths Jeno

"Won't be surprised to see him in a club sucking dicks off"

Take deep breaths Jen

"Honestly, What does Jaemin see in him?"

No-

"Ikr? Jaemin deserves better"

No, no-

"He probably sucked Jaemin's dick off to be his boyfriend. Sluts"

That's not true-

"Jaemin probably is getting annoyed with him, DROP THE MAN"

Is that true?

Probably is

He is annoying

And ugly

He shows so much skin off when there's children in the audience.

He's boring

He can't even tell a joke and make someone laugh

He's untalented

His skills are just below everyone else's.

He's a slut

A manwhore

Jaemin deserves better

Jaemin won't love him soon

Jaemin will grow annoyed with him– if already then even more.

And so will everyone else.

He snaps out when he hears Renjun's alarm going off.

He watches as Renjun groans and smacks the alarm clock and lets it fall on the floor before he stretches and sits up, the elder yawns and scratches his back as he turned to look at the brunette.

"Jeno?" His eyes went wide "are you ok?" He looks and sounds worried, before Jeno speaks up to reply, the elder rushes to his bed stumbling on his feet and crouches down to his eye level brushing the bangs away.

"Why are you crying?" The boy asked softly, Jeno looked confused before breathing a little but instead hearing a sniffle from his clogged up nose. He then lifts a hand up to touch his cheek and felt it was wet, Oh. He was crying.

A beat of silence filled the room as Renjun looked at him with worried eyes brushing his hair, he finally spoke up.

"I just had a nightmare, sorry" lies. He doesn't have the guts to tell the elder what actually happened, He's already annoying enough.

Renjun sighed in relief but then back to worry as he looks at the younger's bags under his eyes. "Is that why you couldn't sleep?" He nodded anyway "oh poor Jeno, but you have to get up and get ready before manager hyung arrives. Try to be a little energetic later, you can sleep in the van on the way to our schedules"

Again he nodded smiling, Renjun smiles back at him and stood up to go to the bathroom.

Jeno sighs tiredly and rubs his eye before grabbing some clothes and wait for the elder to finish up.

Jeno feels like shit, maybe he is.

His words not mine.

He almost fell asleep in the shower until Jaemin came in to check him since he almost missed breakfast, the younger freaked out seeing his boyfriend almost slipping on the bathroom floor with the shampoo going super near his eye just a few inches away. With no hesitation he rushes to the brunette and helped him finish up and leaving him to change in private.

Not knowing something was happening to his beloved.

At practice he lacked energy and can't seem to focus, he got called out for several times almost in every step. Very unusual for Jeno Lee.

The members and staff watched him in worry with bags under his eyes, his posture slouched, him yawning here and there, him talking in a whisper and not being able to yell out a scold or the Yo Dream chant and what's even more concerning is that the boy is pale, like he doesn't have blood on his fucking body.

"What's up with Jeno hyung?" Chenle asked worriedly as they looked at the said boy who was laying down on the practice room floor with his arm draped over his eyes covering his pretty face as what Jaemin likes to call it.

"I don't even know anymore" Renjun replied shrugging "he said he had a nightmare, but I feel like there's something more" another yawn from Jeno was heard.

The manager walks over to the Dream members- minus Jeno, "do any of you know what's been bothering Jeno lately?" Same question, same reply.

All of them sighed as Jaemin kept his gaze on his boyfriend worried as fuck.

"Let me try something" the manager said as they nodded "Jeno-ah, c'mere for a second" they watched as Jeno lifts his arm up and looks at them before slowly standing back to his feet, he wobbles his way towards them and almost falls if it wasn't for Jisung catching him.

"Thanks" he mumbles before standing up straight– or atleast tried to. He almost falls again but a pair of arms catches him, this time it was Jaemin.

The blue haired boy looked at him with worry before pulling him into a hug, Jeno almost breaks. But he doesn't, he smiles at them tiredly.

"Sorry" again he apologizes for something that wasn't a big deal or he didn't do. They stiffly nodded at him a little shock to see their leader– after Mark – looking like he was ran over by a train.

"So... Uhm where do you kids want to eat dinner?" They all decided it was best to eat dinner at the dorm than go out with Jeno looking tired as hell. The brunette smiled.

Dinner was quiet. The members were all too focused on watching Jeno being fed by Jaemin instead of feeding himself since he keeps staring onto his plate like it did something to him.

It was peacefully quiet, but also worryingly too quiet.

They continued eating with Jaemin feeding his boyfriend up with a spoonful and worry in his eyes as it took almost a few minutes before Jeno finishes chewing and swallowing the food.

Jeno was sent into his room as the members were in the living room, "ok something is up" Jisung said frustrated to see Jeno like this. They all were, they needed the old clingy and cute Jeno walking around in shorts and in Jaemin's hoodie back.

"No shit" Haechan rolls his eyes at the obvious situation, Jisung glares at him as Renjun speaks up.

"Hold up, Jeno looked a little pale right?" It was Chenle's turn to roll his eyes.

"A little? You mean a lot, very fucking pale like he was a vampire with no damn blood in his system" Renjun throws a pillow at him and continues

"Yeah ok, the point is, what the actual fuck is happening?"

"We don't know smartass" Haechan replied crossing his arms. He was frustrated as well. He missed seeing Jeno yell at him in the practice room when he doesn't listen.

"Don't start with me"

"Oh yeah? Well–"

"I'm checking up on him" Jaemin suddenly stood up "I'll be back" he said without looking back at them walking towards Jeno and Renjun's room.

He opens it and confused to see the room empty, he sees the light of the bathroom lit up and walks over almost screaming at the sight.

There, in front of the bathroom sink, was Lee Jeno, his boyfriend, their group member, their leader, an idol in SM Entertainment and the most precious human being Jaemin has every seen. With a blade on his hand and his wrist having two slits, blood oozing out.

He looks at the mirror to find it broken and blood on it, then he looks at his angel's hands, finding it injured, then he looks at the boy's face.

Oh dear God, He's a mess.

His cheeks had tears running down to his chin, his eyes were red and puffy, his hair was messy, his lips were swollen and wobbly as a sob came out. Jeno is crying, Jeno is breaking down, Jeno is hurt both physically and mentally, Jeno is bleeding. And if he didn't check up sooner, he would hate himself for letting this happen.

"Jeno!" He grabs the boys wrist and takes the blade away, putting it on top of the cabinet where the elder couldn't reach. He looks at his boyfriend who was about to speak up before he carried him to the room and called the members.

Almost immediately the others arrived, Renjun gasping, Haechan widening his eyes, Chenle screaming and Jisung almost crying. "First aid kit! Hurry!" Renjun rushes to find medical kit as Jaemin hugs the brunette tighter.

"Everything will be ok, you'll be ok, we'll be ok, fuck– Jeno why?" Jaemin said stressing out, Renjun comes back with the medical kit, both him and Haechan starts to clean Jeno up as Jaemin orders the two youngest to grab some food and come back when he calls for them.

Jeno was silent, Jaemin kissed him on his temple "baby, why? Why were you doing this?"

Silence.

Jaemin sighs looking at the other two boys patching Jeno up, they looked concerned as well, but kept quiet. It seems like it's a boyfriend to boyfriend talk.

Jeno needs Jaemin.

"Baby" he lifts Jeno's chin up to make eye contact, succeeding he continues "please tell me, Nana's right here love, tell me please" he begs.

Jeno tears up but gives in, He's tired.

"I– I'm tired–" he starts, and continues telling the boy everything, from how he felt uneasy with the teases, how he was tired not getting enough sleep from actual nightmares, how he felt self-conscious about almost everything even when speaking up, how he felt unwanted by anyone, how he watched those videos about him, how he's a slut and a manwhore and what hurts to hear Jaemin even more is "– they're all true, I'm all those things, very pathetic, annoying, boring, ugly, untalented, a manwhore and useless. Jaemin you deserve better, and I–"

Jaemin couldn't take it anymore, "stop" he said

"What?" Jeno asked

At this point, Renjun and Haechan left the room for themselves not wanting to seem rude for listening and informing the two youngest that were waiting in the kitchen, Jeno swore he heard Chenle screaming.

"Just– stop, No– Just don't even speak on such bullshit" Jaemin said raising his voice a little making Jeno flinch.

"Sorry" Jaemin apologizes "it's– stupid, plain old bullshits Jeno, why would you trust them?"

Jeno looks down "because it's true" biting his lip as tears were slowly streaming down his face again.

"No its not, and never will be!" Jaemin said placing him on his lap, "baby" again he lifts Jeno's chin up to make eye contact, it works, it always does.

"All of those–" Jeno looks away "no hey, Look at me Jen" he obliges and looks at those comforting eyes that makes him calm down.

"All of those aren't–and will never be true Jeno, you're so beautiful, adorable, amazing, talented, precious and just– everything!" Jaemin licks his lips

"you're not ugly, you're beautiful as fuck" he brushes Jeno's hair behind his ear making the boy blush

"You're not untalented, you're so talented. You can sing, rap, dance, write lyrics, play instruments and more! You help us–and most likely me because let's be honest, I just get jealous when you teach the other members how to play a damn guitar–" Jeno chuckles and Jaemin smiles

He continues "you aren't pathetic nor useless, you're so much better than that Jen"

"You're not annoying, yeah you do stuff that some find it childish and weird–" Jeno pouts at him, Jaemin smiles and kisses the pout away "not that I'm complaining of course, I find it very adorable. But you aren't annoying, even when the others say that you are, you aren't. You do things as a habit, you get clingy when you're not acting tough, you let out some sounds when it's too quiet or you just felt like it and best of all, you do those things when you're being yourself. I love that"

Jeno's lips twitches. He continues.

"You aren't boring, you are very funny in your own humor way. And if you feel uneasy with the teasing, we can stop for you. Tell us, tell me, I'll make them stop, wanna know why?" He asked

"Why?" Jeno asked in the smallest voice ever and the cutest pout– every pout from Jeno is cute– Jaemin's ever witnessed, he cooed and pinched the boy's squishy cheeks.

"Because I love you and I'll do anything for you. You deserve so much Jeno" Jeno blushes again.

Last but not the least

"You aren't a slut, manwhore, hoe or whatever the fuck it is." Jeno opens his mouth to speak but again Jaemin doesn't let him "Yes you wear revealing clothes for stages, yes you ripped your shirt off on stage but you don't go walking around to ask for dick to anyone right?" Jeno shakes his head "See? You're not a slut and never will be. Because you don't ask anyone for sex"

Jeno nods slowly

"Wanna know else why?"

Jeno raises an eyebrow "why?"

"Because I'm the only one that can do that, You're only mine and I'm only yours. Jaemin and Jeno is JaemJen, forever"

Jeno blushes and smacks his chest "ow!"

The brunette rolls his eyes "you're so cheesy but possessive" he chuckles "I like it" pulling him into a kiss.

Jeno sighed into the kiss, relief washing through his veins as Jaemin pulls him closer and hands around his waist comfortingly.

They pull away with their foreheads touched, "I love you, remember that baby"

"I love you too, and I will"

Jeno smiles.

For real this time

No hiding anything

No faking

No worries

When he's with Jaemin.

"You're back!" Jaemin said hugging him tightly and spinning them around as Jeno clings onto him for dear life.

"You're gonna make him throw up, I just fed him some McDonald's!" Haechan said with a fit.

Jaemin stops and pulls Jeno into his chest as he sticks his tongue out "bleh"

Haechan flips him off, Jisung laughs at them and ruffles Jeno's hair lending him the elephant plushie, the boy gladly takes it and they walked into the living room where Chenle and Renjun were debating on what movie to watch.

"No! Lilo and Stitch is better!" Chenle argues

"No it isn't! Frozen 2 is cool! No pun intended but Olaf is funny as fuck!" Renjun waves the Frozen 2 DVD in front of the younger boy's face to tease him.

Haechan snorts sitting beside Renjun on the floor grabbing the blanket.

Jisung sits beside Chenle and leans back to the couch watching them argue.

Jaemin leads Jeno to the other side of the couch and drapes the blanket over them, grabbing another for Jeno placing it over the boy's shoulders and draping an arm around him pulling him closer.

"How bout let Jeno choose" the boys looks up and nodded as Jeno decides.

"Can we watch the Lion King?" He asked with natural puppy eyes, his eyes sparkling at the thought.

They've watched the movie 4 times this week, but they don't mind since Jeno wants to watch it. Jeno gets what he wants Jaemin reminds them everyday when the boy is in the shower.

They nodded and starts the movie, non of them are paying attention, even Jeno. All doing their own business and using the movie as background music.

Jaemin leans in to whisper "how was therapy?" Jeno hums and blinks twice at him

"It was ok, they said I'm getting better" he smiles widely "manager hyung gave me a moon sticker for being brave and the process of getting back to normal" he shows his left chest to where –indeed– the moon sticker that had a smiley face was placed.

Jaemin smiles back at him "I'm so proud of you" he kissed the boy's nose as the latter giggles "I love you, so so very much baby"

Jeno's smile never leaving and never faking "I Love you too, so so very much Nana" before leaning in for another sweet loving kiss.

By this point the other boys had fell asleep with Chenle's phone laying on his face.

The couple continues to make out with Jaemin pulling the brunette onto his lap as it's been awhile–if a few hours count that is, but Jaemin and Jeno can't help it.

They kiss at 11:11, smiling into each other's lips, blankets draped over Jeno's shoulders, the smell of sweet roses from the candle nearby, Jeno's moans when Jaemin sucks into his neck.

All in a coincidence the sound of "Can you Feel the Love Tonight" playing in the background.