“Because I failed to hold you today, I will hold you forever in my heart.”

The death of Asukumi had drenched the tribe in absolute despair, I could hear the wailing women from the edge of the lands border and I could only imagine how Vikali was feeling. So as Makhosi and I hurried back towards the village, I couldn’t ignore the fear creeping beneath my skin and even though it sounded selfish of me to think of myself at the present moment.  ‘What if that was to happen to me? Death by the birth of heir. Never having the chance to raise my child.’ Clearly the fear had begun whispering in my mind, poisoning my thoughts and causing the settled nausea to awake from its temporal slumber.

I hadn’t realised that we were approaching the royal quarters which were crowded with women and it became clear to me that this was no longer a nightmare, it was reality. The heartbreaking cries of women pierced throughout the darkening night, their tears soaked the land as her body was carried out on the stretcher bed to be prepared for her funeral. It was then that for the first time I saw Asukumi. She was indeed beautiful and even though death robbed her of life it would never be able to steal her beauty. Even as she laid dead with her skin paling and her body drenched in blood, her thick lashes still covered her feline shaped eyes and her heart shaped lips were chapped probably from her screams of pain caused by the contractions of her labour.

The familiar sensation of loss flooded my body, the death of my father flashed before my eyes the blood trailing his skin caused my heart to shatter. In that moment grief and fear tangled and subdued me in my own mind, I could feel the numbness spreading and the salty tears blurring my eyes.  The endless scenarios that ran throughout my mind caused the pain in my chest to ebb deeper, twisting within the four chambers of my heart. I could picture myself laying across the mat, carrying not only myself but my son into death and all it would take would be a slight complication.

“Azile! Azile! Please immediately attend to the queen and escort her to our hut.” The sound of Makhosi’s deep baritone voice called out to me and yet my ears had tuned out everything selectively torturing me by the gut wrenching screams of the tribe’s women.

In my state of confusion, I could only register the sudden elevation of my body which lead me to assume I was being carried. The harder I tried to fight the fear prancing across my mind the deeper it sucked me into the horrid nightmares and scenarios that would only serve to torment me. Perhaps it was the ancestors capitalising on my already troubled mind leading me to believe that I am at fault. Maybe this was punishment from both ancestral blood lines for tainting their tribal lineage. It was crystal clear that hatred for each other ran deep in the blood of our veins, it was nature and our union was creating an ancestral bondage between two rival tribes. It was obvious who would be on the receiving end of their ancestral rage, me.

“Nohereka?” I could hear Makhosi’s desperation as he called for yet I felt numb, too immobilised by the brutal scenes flashing before me and draining my energy. Perhaps I was dying falling into a dreamless slumber, what could’ve been happening to me; my world was spinning everything spiralling out of control.

The sound of wailing women was becoming distant; it was faint disappearing into howls of wind. I was slowly beginning to regain control of my senses, breaking through the barriers of the fear that was clouding my mind. I was finally free from the ancestor’s torturous visions, at least for the present moment.

I was met with Makhosi’s familiar mud brown orbs staring down at me whilst the warmth of the fire tenderly embraced me and even in my confused state I found myself desperate to know what had happened. “What happened?”

A deep sigh escaped Makhosi, worry deeply laced into his handsome features. I felt the fear knotting deep within my stomach perhaps it was nausea creeping in from seeing all the blood. “My queen it seemed you were losing consciousness, drifting beyond the realm of the living.” His eyes held on to mine whilst pursing his plump lips, the nervousness was tugging the strings of my mind and it was nauseating. “What did you see in your vision?”

“Nothing.”

“Nohereka? This is no time for secrecy! What are you not telling me, what are you seeing?”

"Do not raise your voice at me, Makhosi!" I could feel the rage bubbling, flooding my veins temporarily as I registered his words, I could understand stand his anger but he had no reason to raise his voice at me like I was a child. "It's no time for secrecy, it's time for mourning." A deep sigh escaped me, my eyes had risen to the thatched roof before I continued. "For now I'd ask for you to let what rests beneath the surface of my mind to rest, only for now."

"My queen, forgive my suddenoutburst, it seems my fear got the best of me. I will do as you ask, but only for now." He spoke gently as his hand gently clasped mine causing the warmth to spread round my body. "If you'll excuse me, I have to attend the family of the deceased to arrange the funeral." He began before placing a feather like kiss on my forehead and quickly disappearing into the night.

It was moments like this that I dreaded the most, being alone in the large hut and even though Kukalela had snuggled up beside me I couldn't shake the dread and fear that was suffocating my mind. I couldn't escape the fear now deeply rooted into my soul, it would follow me like a shadow, a replica of the ancestor's visions that would never let me be.

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  Hey muffins, I know it's been very long since I updated. I got a cheese allergy 2 days ago 😭🥺😭.
So yeah I was sick anyways ill be doing 2+ chapters a week it will help me keep a regular schedule. Anyways how you guys?❤

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