TWO WEEKS LATER...

"THESE SEPARATE DEATHS OF TWO YOUTHS HAVE SHAKEN THE PUBLIC AS OF LATE. THE OFFICIAL STATEMENT FROM THE POLICE DEPARTMENT CONCLUDES THAT THE VICTIMS' DEATHS WERE CAUSED BY A TRAUMATIC BLOW TO THE BACKS OF THEIR HEADS. WHILE A QUESTION OF 'WHY' STILL LINGERS IN THE PEOPLE'S MINDS, AS FAR AS THE POLICE ARE CONCERNED, THE CASE IS CLOSED."

Ray clutched the steering wheel tightly. "I can't believe they can just brush off Thoma and Monica's deaths like that."

We were always keeping track of the investigation, none more so than Ray, as if he was expecting something good to come of it. But each time, we were left more heartbroken than the last.

"We'll never forget," I whispered, looking at the bouquet of flowers in my hands – the chrysanthemums seemed befitting, and lilies had always been a favourite of mine. "The world may forget, but we'll always remember them."

Ray and I climbed out of the car that had once belongedto Thoma and the air smelled strangely of summer rain, yet, the breeze carrieda chill, a reminder that we remained in midwinter. Ray arrived at my side and I handed the flowers to him. As we made our way onto the grass, the cold nipped at the skin under my socks even though they were pulled all the way up to my knees. I tried to ignore it. Besides, no weather could keep us away.

"Hey, it's been a while." Ray set the bouquet down gently upon Thoma's grave. The plaque was modest, and the first time I'd seen it, I'd thought it was almost too simple for Thoma, but with time, I had come to like it. "Ziya's here, too."

"Hey, Thoma." The breeze blew gently, caressing my cheeks. It feels like you're here. I liked to believe that he was.

Ray didn't say anything for a while, but I knew, in his heart, he was praying. And Thoma was listening. His shoulders twitched for a moment, and I reached for him, wrapping my hands around his waist.

"Ray..." I pressed my cheek against his back, tightening my hold on him.

"Heh. Don't worry. I'm fine." I rubbed my face against his back, and he scoffed. "Stop that. That tickles, you know."

I could hear the smile in his voice, so I let him go, and he finally faced me. He was shining in the sunset, eyes wet with what was left of the tears he had tried to brush away.

Thoma, can you hear me? I promise you, once again...

Ray set his hand down on my head, gently ruffling my hair. "Thanks, Ziya." I'll take care of Ray. No matter what lies ahead, I will never leave his side. "Let's go home!"

Because I love him.

Before we left, I turned to look back at the grave one last time. I could almost feel Thoma waving back at me. The mere thought brought tears to my eyes, and when I noticed one fall onto my cheek, I turned to make sure Ray couldn't see me. He didn't need to find me crying like this. I pulled myself together and followed him to the car. I'm so sorry, Thoma. I wish you were still here.

From the cemetery, Ray drove me home, as had been the routine every Sunday since the funeral. At the time, Licht had been in the hospital, but Ray, Subaru, and I had attended by the grace of Thoma's parents. They'd remembered us from the motel, and though it had been painful, we were thankful to them for letting us stay. I recalled how tightly Ray had clutched my hand in an attempt to compose himself – it had started to go numb, but I couldn't pull away. Subaru had tried his best to maintain that fortified expression of his, but...

We all cried.

The ceremony had been beautiful, and we learned more about Thoma; like how he used to ride motorbikes with his dad on weekends and how his mom would help him sew the holes in his clothes after every fall. Or that despite his carefree demeanour, he was an A-student and put extra care into everything he did. He was really passionate about science... Most of all, he liked making people smile.

But we already knew that.

Ray parked outside mine and Licht's apartment. It saddened me to know he wouldn't join us when we visited Thoma's grave. He'd say that because of his initial absences, it didn't feel right for him to start coming along now, that he felt he was encroaching on our time, but I believed it was because he still felt guilty about Thoma and Monica. Meanwhile, Subaru had been studying for exams, so Ray and I tried not to trouble him too much about it.

Thesevisitations always had me wondering about Monica's funeral, too. We'd been so caughtup in trying to figure out the nightmare world that we couldn't be there forher funeral. Did she have a lot of family and friends there? What words did they have for her before they laid her to rest?

"Ziya?" Ray's voice lured me back to the present.

He's been waiting for me to leave the car. How long was I daydreaming? But when I grabbed hold of the door, Ray took my wrist. His grip was strong but careful, and it shifted slightly lower until we were almost holding hands.

"Ray?"

"Sorry, I just..." he trailed off, retracting his hand. "You don't have to leave. I just wanted to ask where you went just now, in your head."

"Oh." I blushed. Ray was looking away and every part of me wanted to take his hand in mine, but something stopped me. "I was thinking about Monica, how we couldn't be there for her funeral. And considering she wasn't buried here, I know it's more difficult to visit her grave. I just..." I sighed. "I feel bad about it sometimes, that's all. I even wonder about how her boyfriend is coping."

Anna and I had looked at his social media again the other day. He hadn't posted anything since Monica's passing, but when you scrolled through his feed, at least every second picture was one of them together. They looked so happy, like that us-against-the-world kind of duo.

Ray leisurely set his gaze on me and for a moment I didn't think I could speak, but one of us had to. "A-Anyway, um, how are you doing? It's been a while since I really asked, and – well, I guess I know, but... I should still ask."

"I'm fine, Ziya..." His hand came up to my cheek and settled there – his fingertips were remarkably warm upon my skin. "Thank you for asking, and for coming with me today."

"O-Of course. Thoma meant a lot to me, too. And you know I'm always going to be here for you, so don't sound so surprised," I giggled lightly, but Ray's heavy expression told me that he was holding onto the sincerity of my words.

Ray's hand didn't move; I was held there by his touch as well as his gaze, which was no longer restricted to my eyes but roamed all over my face. It made me nervous, but... I didn't want him to stop looking at me. I observed as his thumb tenderly brushed over my scar before meeting my bottom lip, settling there like it had come home.

"Ray..." Suddenly, I was intensely aware of how my mouth curled around his name. It was something like a kiss.

With a hard gulp, Ray took his attention away from my lips and turned it to my scarred cheek. He moved closer, slowly, and planted a kiss there instead.

"Pretty cool, isn't it?" I asked quietly.

Ray eased back, eyes wide with surprise before he let out a chuckle, "It is. I thought you'd want to cover it with make-up." I shook my head. "I'm glad you don't."

"You are? I know it's a bit of a scary reminder of what we went through, but I'm grateful for it, too. I've accepted it as a mark of bravery, or something."

"Well," smiled Ray, ruffling my hair up a little, "you're the bravest person I know, Ziya."

At this point, my cheeks felt like they were on fire. "You say that like I'm a kid." I took his hand off my head, holding it in front of me.

"Ah..." Seemingly embarrassed, Ray turned to look away. "I know you're not a kid. That's not why I –" he stopped himself. Feeling the sudden shift in his mood, I released his hand and it immediately took to the steering wheel. "You should go before Licht gets worried."

I wanted to ask him what he had been about to say, but again, something within me resisted.

"Okay. See you..." Iclimbed out of the car, heavy with disappointment.

"Ziya?"

Ipeeped at him through the window of the closed door.  "Yes?"

"We can visit Monica soon, okay? And wherever she is, I'm sure she knows how much you care." He tried a smile, and I smiled back, though mine wasn't much stronger.

"Thanks, Ray." I hope you're right.

Thecar pulled off into the street as I made my way up to the apartment. What was all that? Did I say something wrong? It's not fair. He says he can read me so easily, but lately I'm struggling to figure him out. Is he upset with me? I fumbled with my set of keys for a second before unlocking the door. Maybe I'm just overthinking it.

"You're home!" Licht appeared from the direction of the kitchen, his mitted hands up in the air.

I smiled warmly at him as I shut the door. "I've only been gone for an hour. But I see that's more than enough time for you to get up to no good!" I joked, nodding towards the floral print mitts.

"Haha. I'm baking the tilopia."

"Tilapia?" I hung my handbag on the coat rack and followed Licht back into the kitchen.

"Yes, right! Um, would you mind helping me?" he asked bashfully. There was little he could do to hide the blush on his cheeks.

"Sure, I'd love to!"

"Good!" he sighed in relief. "If this goes well, I want to make it again next weekend and invite Ray and Subaru over to try it."

Licht... I smiled up at him, overjoyed by his kind-hearted gesture. "I think that's a perfect idea!"

It felt like forever since the four of us had been in the same room. As horrifying as the nightmare world had been, the bright side was that we'd all been together. Having been able to return to reality was a miracle, but sometimes, night would come and I would hope to see everyone again. But it was just me. Even when I dreamed about them, it wasn't as real as The Nightmare had been. It was kind of ironic how peaceful sleep was hardly peaceful anymore.

It felt like forever since the four of us were in the same room. As horrific as the nightmare world had been, the best part was that we'd been together. Having been able to return to reality was a miracle, but sometimes, night would come and I would hope to see everyone again. But it was just me – even when I dreamed about them, it was never as real as the nightmares had been. It was kind of ironic; peaceful sleep was hardly peaceful at all anymore. Was I going crazy?

On the bright side, I had Licht. Each night after dinner, we would read a part of Silas's journal like we'd agreed to do, and every morning, we would have breakfast together. On weekends, we'd do yoga. And now that winter break had started, I had some free time, so we can do even more together! Watching Licht experience the world again had easily become my new favourite thing. Whatever I couldn't teach him myself, he would make a point of learning on his own. Cooking, for example, was one of his newfound fortes.

"That looks right, doesn't it?" Licht held the oven door open and scrutinised the dish intently.

Scents of garlic butter, lemon, and basil engulfed the room. At first, I thought the divine smells were the reason Licht was tearing up, but when he flinched, I realised that it was more like he'd been standing too close to the oven and the steam had wafted into his eyes.

"Licht!" I gasped sympathetically and dashed to the bathroom to fetch his facecloth.

I placed the cloth under cool water and returned promptly. While Licht had managed to take the tray out and set it atop the stove without disaster, his eyes had barely recovered.

"Here." I gently dabbed the cloth on his eyelids, one at a time.

"Thanks, Z. See, this is why I need your help," he chuckled lightly. "I'm okay, though."

"Let me see." I removed the cloth, and he carefully opened his eyes so I could assess the damage. "Hm. Yup, I think you'll live!"

"Good to know," Licht spoke lowly, but we were close enough that I could hear him.

A moment passed and he hadn't moved away. When I tried to take the first step, I reared into the counter, having misjudged the distance, and Licht followed me like it was nothing. He slowly placed his hands on the countertop, trapping me between his arms, and I accidentally dropped the facecloth to the floor. I motioned to pick it up, but I couldn't, not like this. I couldn't move without bumping into him.

"Hey, Ziya?"

"Y-Yeah?" I gulped. I could feel his breath on the tip of my nose.

Licht blushed, taking his time before talking again. "I know that the real reason you asked to be friends isn't because you're afraid of moving too fast. And it's really okay because I know that you care for me in your own way. I know because you're here with me, and you fought so hard to help break me from my coma. Every day, I think about how much you cried when I finally came to and my promise to never leave your side."

Licht, where is this going? 

"So,I hope that you still feel the same. Even though you're in love with someoneelse, I really want to remain as we are now." Oh, Licht... His eyes were pinched shut as he forced a smile. I watched his lashes closely, lured by a strange sense that he was holding back tears.

"Licht..." I brought my hand to his cheek gently, and his eyes grew. "I'm sorry. I should've been upfront about my feelings, but I didn't want to hurt you. I want to always be there for you, Subaru, and Ray. You're each important to me, and I'm so glad that we're finally safe and can live our lives." I lowered my hand as well as bowed my head, a single tear dripping off my cheek. "If you'll forgive me, then I'd like to stay how we are, too!"

Lichtchuckled, a sparse sound filled with delight and aching. "I should be asking you for forgiveness."

"What, why? You've done nothing wrong."

He sighed, "Well, I may have lost thirteen years between my childhood and now, but you didn't. You grew up and became your own person without me. It's unrealistic to expect you to feel the way you did when we were kids, I couldn't ask you to love me in that way. Especially when those feelings were suppressed for so long."

Immediately, I understood what he meant, though it pained me to admit it. With my regained memories, my feelings for Licht were stronger than ever, but I'd developed new feelings for Ray and even Subaru as well. What we'd gone through and the bonds we'd created were irreplaceable and invaluable. Because of this, I wasn't the girl Licht had fallen for all those years ago. I wasn't even the same girl I had been two months ago. But Licht was as he'd always been; kind and trusting and willing to put himself in harm's way for the well-being of others. How couldn't I love an angel?

"Licht..." I brought myself up onto my tiptoes, a risky move that pushed me even closer to him until our bodies were pressed together. But I didn't back down.

With one hand on hisshoulder and one on his other cheek, I steadied myself and kissed the cheek Icould reach. His skin was hot against my lips as his blush had not yet dispersed.I lingered there for a second longer before flattening my feet, though now Iwas only a hair's breadth away as Licht's hand had come to rest on my waist. I'll always love you, Licht. I wanted to say the words out loud, but –

"Ziya..." he sighed my name and before I knew it, Licht was kissing me.

Why didn't I fight it? Instead, I relished it. He tasted mildly of the pancakes and strawberries from breakfast.

"Sorry, it's been a while since we did that. I couldn't help myself."

Right, we haven't kissed since he got his memories back. "I-It's okay." I never realised how much I missed it... What does that say about me?

Licht took a generous step back. "Well, I hope you're as hungry as I am!"

"Always!" I felt madly hot all of a sudden, but I tried not to think about it as I fetched the dinner plates. "It looks wonderful, Licht. Thank you."

Thetilapia sated us for lunch and supper. That evening, when we'd cleared our plates and had our baths, Licht brought out Silas's journal. He seemed more apprehensive about it than usual, so I touched the tops of his hands reassuringly before taking the book from him. We got as comfortable as we could on the couch while I turned to the last page we'd visited.

"With the possibility of government funding, we'll finally be able to move forward with the experiment. It couldn't come sooner. We had a new arrival today. Her name is Monica..." I froze, yet my body was stifling with dread. I looked at Licht. "Should I go on?"

Licht took my hand, sensing what I was feeling. My heart was on a rampage. "I'm ready when you are. But if you want to stop..."

"No. We agreed to do this together." With my hand in his, I decided to be brave. "Her name is Monica."

Having accepted Monica's memories ourselves, we knew most of what came next. But that didn't make it any easier to swallow.

"Monica's mother dropped her off in person. I can never decide which is worse between coming across an abandoned child and having to face the one abandoning them. She did very little to explain why she couldn't take care of her daughter, only that it was too hard. She was crying so horribly it was impossible to keep up with what she was saying, let alone get a word in myself. And then, she left just like that. Monica must think she's still coming back. She keeps saying that her mother brought her here for a sleepover and that's why she has her suitcase and her dolls...

"It's been two days now since Monica's arrival. We've been doing our best to keep tabs on her, Licht included, but she's speaking less and less as the days go on. It's as though she's coming to understand her circumstances."

I paused for a moment when a tear fell upon the page. I hadn't even realised I was crying. I wiped my cheek and sucked in a breath. Then, I read on.

"She doesn't like calling me Father either. Says I'm a brute and that her dad was a loving man who brought her clothes and toys from all over the world. I've tried to approach her with more kindness, but she always shies away and continues to play with her dolls. They seem to be an escape for her. She sleeps, and plays with her dolls, and eats, and plays with her dolls. But at least she's eating. Yesterday, at dinner, I caught her saying Mommy doesn't let her eat as much as she does here."

"That's right. Her father passed away, and her mother took it so hard that she stopped paying attention to Monica's health as well as her own." Licht bit his lip. "I remember how frail Monica was when she came to Bluebells."

"She'd been neglected." I know this, and yet it still hurts so much. "Her mother starved her. It's no wonder she couldn't accept it on her own. I doubt Icould have."

"Hey, Ziya, I think we've read enough for one night."

"Mm, you're probably right." I closed the book and let it sit on my lap as the words I'd read replayed in my mind.

We dragged our feet on the way back to our separate rooms, said goodnight with half-hearted smiles. I hardly expected to sleep well after that, but when I closed my eyes that night, I went someplace else. When my eyes reopened, I sensed I was no longer in mine and Licht's apartment. But the bed I was in, it felt like it belonged to me, in another lifetime perhaps.

I climbed out and walkedout into the hallway. Hallway? Is this..? Wall sconces lit my path. It's all so large. I looked down at my hands to confirm my prediction; I was my childhood self. My subconscious, like a second personality, was screaming in absolute fear that I was somehow back in the nightmare world, while my body continued to walk, fearing only the dense halls of Bluebells at night and the distance to the bathroom.

On my way back, I came across a door left slightly ajar. That's the playroom. My younger self stepped closer and peeped through the gap. There, sitting on the rug in the centre of the room, were little Monica and Thoma.

Hah, so she finally got him to play dollies. My younger self smiled as they played, trying not to draw any attention. But the longer I watched, the more I experienced an obscure feeling building within me. Why didn't Monica invite me to play, too?

My sweet expression morphed into a jealous scowl and my gaze zeroed in on their toys when, suddenly, I noticed the odd appearance of the doll in Monica's hand. I nudged the door open gently, allowing the light from the passage to pour into the room, over the doll. I went ice cold as the realisation hit me that it wasn't a porcelain lady in a frilly dress. No...

It can't be.

"Monica, Thoma, get back! Get away from it, now!" My throat felt sanded as I shouted out. Monica and Thoma's beady eyes focused on me, followed by every eye on the monster's shrunken body. "Get away from it, now! Why are you here? We defeated you!"

The creature writhed violently in Monica's hand until she let it go, and then it opened its jaws and sunk its teeth into one of the other dolls. I shrieked again when I recognised that doll as Monica – not the little girl in front of me, but the young woman I'd met in the nightmare world. My legs wouldn't move, so I just kept screaming in sheer horror as the beast continued to devour her. When I looked at Monica's younger self, she seemed to be frozen, too, a wide grin stuck on her face. Shortly after, she began to disintegrate right before my eyes, crumbling like a centuries-old statue. A porcelain doll.

It was as though the more the monster ate, the less human Little Monica became.

When the creature had finished its course and nothing remained of either girl, it turned towards another doll that was unmistakably Thoma. I was screaming still, but I could no longer hear myself over those nauseating cries.

"HUNGRYYYY!!! MUST... EAT... MUST... K-K-KILL!!!"

I looked at Thoma in terror and in tears, but the young boy sat idly to meet his fate. The monster's jaws unhinged.