WE WATCHED THE CURSOR on the screen spin as we waited for the search results to appear. The four of us were in Ray's bedroom, standing around him while he manned the computer from his chair.

"There, there!" Thoma pointed at the screen, and Ray clicked on the first link.

"Bluebells, huh?" Ray frowned.

"That's right." That was what Father had called it. "I wonder... do you think it's still open?"

The page refreshed and showed us the headline of an article. "Well, there's your answer."

Bluebells Orphanage Closed until Further Notice.

I leaned over Ray's chair and peered at the monitor. "After some successful adoptions, Bluebells Orphanage will halt operations due to reasons withheld by the owner. The date is form thirteen years ago."

"That sounds fishy," said Subaru.

"Doesn't it?" I craned my neck to look at him, "It's around the same time we lost our memories," and then I returned my gaze to the screen, scrolling down the page. "They seemed to have a good reputation, and if they've helped a lot of families, I'm sure they have a number of patrons, too."

"Eh, maybe the founder just wanted to cut costs," Thoma shrugged. "Running an orphanage is expensive. Probably even more than managing a company."

"That could be true, but it's still suspicious," said Ray, and his chair swivelled gently. "That's about it. There's not much info here."

"Let's try the other links," Subaru recommended, before Ray got up from the chair and dug his phone out.

"I'll leave the research to you. I need to make a call."

Subaru nodded, taking Ray's place in the chair just as he made his way out the door. Thoma began to head out, too, but he paused when I asked him where he was going.

"I need to go home for a bit," Thoma murmured lowly. "Maybe my folks know something about this."

"Oh." Thoma and I found out about our adoptions just yesterday. I shot him a worried look. "Are you gonna be okay?"

Maybe my recovered past was so horrible that my parents had been keeping it a secret. Even though we were not related by blood, they truly loved me, and that was all that mattered. But Thoma might have felt differently. Would he be able to accept the truth?

"No need to worry, Ziya," he smiled, all teeth, and gave me a thumbs-up. "I can handle it. Call me if something comes up, alright?"

I nodded hesitantly. As Thoma disappeared, I stood behind the chair and watched Subaru typing fast. By the dexterity of his fingers, I wondered if he was some kind of computer expert. Come to think of it, he'd never shared much about himself.

"There are some pictures here that are very similar to the house in the nightmare world," he said.

"Whoa, you're right!" The pictures were clearly very old, but some features were certainly distinguishable. I tried to take a closer look, peering over Subaru's shoulder. But at the same time, he turned his head, and I felt his nose brush across my cheek. In my surprise, I stepped back, almost losing my balance.

Subaru gasped, "Are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah, totally fine!" I tried not to look at him so that my embarrassment could be left unacknowledged. The last thing I needed right now was to be teased for something so ridiculous. To my relief, he moved on quickly.

"Ziya, look at this," Subaru motioned me closer.

"Is that..?" At the end of the page was a picture of all the people from the orphanage. In the centre, there were six children.

"Do you think so, too?"

The photograph had obviously been scanned from old material, making it hard to make out the details. "We can't be sure, but it's possible."

"What's up?" Ray came in, walking straight to his desk.

"This picture," Subaru pointed.

"It's a photo of us."

"Are you sure?" Ray asked in a huff of shock.

"From what I remember from my vision, yeah."

"What else did you find?"

Subaru shook his head. "Nothing much, to be honest. There's so little info about it. The founder is listed as anonymous, and there doesn't seem to be an address." He looked up at Ray as he spun the chair. "Shouldn't orphanages have some sort of promotion to attract donors? Fundraisers, charity work, volunteer opportunities?"

"Subaru has a point," I hummed. "Most orphanages I know would put themselves out there to get donations. Even if it's shut down now, it's strange that there's so little information about it."

"You're right," Ray scrunched his mouth up in thought. "Once info is put out on the internet, it's not easy to erase it. Unless..." We all looked at each other:

Unless they're trying to hide something.

Subaru hissed, "Something's definitely up."

Ray walked over to the bed and sat down, cradling his face in both hands. "I couldn't get anything from my mom, either."

"Oh, is that why you went out for a call?" I asked gently as his gaze met the ground.

"Yeah."

Ray and his mom must have been close if he felt like he could ask her about such a sensitive topic. I realised my parents didn't even know I was aware of being adopted. I'd been distant and distracted with The Nightmare, trying to figure it out. They would have been hysterical if they knew that I wasn't at Anna's house like I'd told them; I'd been ignoring their calls and sending short replies to their messages so that they thought I was busy working on my assignments.

"Maybe I should try and ask my parents, too." But as I said it, I knew I wouldn't be able to bring myself to do it. The truth was I hadn't only been avoiding their calls because I was preoccupied. I wasn't ready to confront them about this just yet.

"You don't need to." Ray put his hands on his sides and threw his head back, as if to stretch. "My mom said she didn't directly adopt me from the orphanage," he said to the ceiling. Subaru turned the chair so that he was facing both me and Ray.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

He sighed and looked back at us, "There was a middleman in the process." "She didn't know anything about the orphanage because someone else handled it for her." Subaru and I exchanged wide-eyed glances.

"So, we've hit a dead end?" he asked, disheartened.

"We still have to try," I insisted. "Lives are at stake. We can't just give up now."

"Wait, where's the loudmouth?" I assumed Ray meant Thoma. He looked worried for a moment, but when our eyes met, he immediately tried to hide it.

"He went home to ask his parents."

Ray clicked his tongue, somewhat annoyed. "Seriously, that guy can't just stay put." I couldn't help but smile at his reaction. "What are you laughing at?"

"Nothing," I said, but I kept my smile, eyeing him knowingly.

"Whatever's going through that head of yours, you're wrong."

"What? I didn't say anything," I teased. Even if he didn't admit it, I was sure he was worried about Thoma; the fact of our adoptions seemed to have hit him the hardest.

"Anyway," Ray breathed, "how about we hit the library? If the internet is no help, there's always good old fashioned print. We might find out something there."

"Right, I'll send Thoma a message to meet us there," I said, and we wasted no time leaving.

For the most part, the walk there was quiet; our minds were reeling with the information we had so far, trying hopelessly to put it all together, as if it could come to something coherent. We found Thoma waiting for us outside the library.

"Thoma!" I called to him, waving him down. At first, I guessed he might have lived closer to it than Ray did, but then I remembered that Thoma had a car. "Did you wait long?"

"Nah. I just got here actually."

"So, how'd it go?" asked Ray, and Thoma chuckled.

"Say whaaaat?!" He locked Ray's head in his arms. "What's this? Were you worried about little old me?"

"As if!" Ray tried to get him off, but Thoma didn't move. In fact, he just held Ray close, like he wanted to hug him.

"... What's the deal with these boneheads?" Subaru scowled at them.

It was kind of endearing to watch; the three of them looked like brothers, clashing although they cared for each other. I wondered if they had been this way at the orphanage, too. Somehow, in that moment, it felt as though we hadn't grown up at all. Then, Thoma seemed to calm down.

"I didn't get anything out of my folks, but... I have to thank them for telling me the truth," he said. Finally, Thoma released Ray from his hold and looked at each of us. "You know, my folks cried when I asked them. They said they were afraid I'd run away looking for my real parents if I knew. My parents are really sweet people, so it was a bit of a shock at first. But I'm feeling relieved now. At least this clears up some questions I had. Besides, it doesn't matter if we're related by blood or not. No matter what anyone says, we're still family." Thoma looked to me for agreement.

"Yeah, you're right." I'd been thinking the same thing. I gave Thoma a nudge, glad he was doing okay after all.

"We're just beginning to find answers," uttered Ray. "Come on." He led us up the stairs as he glanced at his watch. "We don't have much time, so we should cover as much ground as possible."

It wouldn't be long until nightfall. I clenched my fist, resisting the fear. We ambled into the public library, which was emptier than I'd expected. The librarian was chewing gum softly at the counter. Ray told us he would go look at medical journals for things related to memory and mind manipulation, and Thoma thought he'd try his luck accessing old archives from the web. Subaru and I looked at each other.

"Ziya and I will go through some books and newspapers."

Ray gave us his smile of approval, "Good. Write or copy anything you find useful."

"Roger," we said in unison.

So, we split ways. Subaru and I trailed to the back of the room and became hidden amidst the tall steel shelves. I looked around the aisle.

"Ugh... There's so much."

"We don't need to look at everything. We only need to look for books published locally," explained Subaru.

"You're right. Narrowing it down to relevant stuff makes it easier." Subaru took out a piece of paper, glanced at it, and then looked around the area. "What's that?"

"I asked the clerk about publications within the city and nearby locales. This section is... Oh, right here."

Wow. He was already two steps ahead. "You're amazing, Subaru."

Subaru looked away from me, blushing a little. "I'll have a look at the vertical files, if you don't mind." I guess he's not used to being complimented.

"Got it." I nodded and pointed down the lane. "I'll go check the books over there."

Although he was younger than me, Subaru had proved that he was rather mature.

We went our separate ways, and I found myself surrounded by towering shelves. Okay, let's start. I've gotta pull my weight. I walked across the aisle, glancing at the titles until I found one that sparked my interest: 'Through the Years, a Photograph Collection'. It struck me as a printed album of the city, so I decided to reach for it. I stood on my toes, but my fingers just barely brushed across the top shelf. Oh, boy... I took to my tiptoes once again, but before I could grab the book, a hand appeared out of nowhere. It reached out and grabbed the book I was stretching for. When I turned around, I found Subaru standing there, and my face grew hot as his blue eyes stared down at me.

"Is this what you needed?" He finally stepped back. He didn't seem one bit concerned about how close we were to each other.

"Y-Yes," I said, lowering my head; it was so awkward being the only one who was nervous.

Without warning, I felt a weight settling down on my head. Did he just -?! I immediately took the book off and hugged it.

"You looked like you needed help."

"Y-Yeah, thanks." I suddenly felt so little. "What about you?" Instead of answering again, he put his hand on the bookshelf behind me and leaned closer. Our eyes met, my heart started to race. "What are you doing, Subaru?"

"I'm just..." - his face moved past my ear - "... trying to get this book."

Subaru nonchalantly pulled out a book from beside us.

... Oh... That was it? My face turned red with heat.

Subaru took no notice and kept talking, "This seems to be a written history of some nearby towns. I thought it would be useful."

"Yes, of course."

Subaru started scanning the book and I shook my head. What was I thinking? We've got more important stuff to do! And he clearly knew that. I got back to my reading, determined to find clues. But even after reading as many books as I could, I was still out of leads.

In need of some air, I found my way to where Thoma was. I heard him yawning as I made my way to his desk. What's with that look? Thoma continued to peer at the screen, unaware of my presence. His eyes were downcast and he bit his lip, seemingly worried, and gloomy somehow.

"Hey," I greeted him, leaning on the desk.

"Oh, Ziya," he instantly perked up, all traces of sleepiness gone from his face. That was strange.

"How's the search going?"

"Not much luck. Haaah!" Thoma stretched, his arms reaching over his head. Suddenly, we heard a bell ring through the area, sending chills through me.

"Shhh!"

"Oops," chucked Thoma as the librarian woman held a finger to her lips. He immediately put his hands down, covering his mouth as he yawned one more time.

Haha, that's cute.

"How about you? Did you find something?" he whispered. I sighed in defeat, and Thoma propped his elbow on the table, cupping his chin. "This is so much harder than I thought it would be. But I read about something interesting. I'll tell you guys about it later when we're all together."

"Oh, sounds mysterious."

He smirked mischievously, "You have no idea."

I smiled, not knowing what else to say, and Thoma went back to typing on the keyboard. He seemed pretty focussed, and I didn't want to disturb him, but I wondered what he had been thinking about earlier. Thoma was a jokester, but after spending some time with him these past nights, I'd come to realise that he was a lot more complex than that. He hadn't known he'd been adopted either. I guess we're more alike than I thought. Does Thoma get a sense of déjà vu about the past, too? Could he be hiding something behind his light-hearted behaviour? I thought about the Thoma from that memory, the one who had excluded himself from everyone. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to know about him. Would it be too personal to ask? I don't want to be rude.

"What's got you so deep in thought, Ziya?"

"Oh..." This may be my opportunity to ask about it. I sucked in a breath, "You know, before I got my memories back, I always had this weird feeling."

"Like what?" asked Thoma, his eyes rapt and his hands still.

"I just felt kinda... lonely. Like there was an ache in my chest for no apparent reason. Even though I've had a happy life, I always felt like something was missing. Have you ever felt something like that?"

Thoma stayed quiet for a moment, and then swivelled his chair to face me. "To tell you the truth, I do sometimes feel that way." I bit my lip, looking at him sympathetically. "It's weird, you know. Especially when I'm with Ray."

"With Ray?"

A smile tugged weakly on his lips, "Sometimes, I look at him and feel really guilty all of a sudden. I don't know how to deal with it." Well, Ray can be a bit of a - "That's why I always try to be cheerful around him. I don't know, I guess that's sort of how I cope."

"I had no idea..." I breathed, but Thoma's face did not change. There was genuine fear in his eyes and it pained me to see it.

"Now that we've learned a bit about our past, sometimes I can't help but wonder if I did something to hurt him. It makes me really angry at myself," he sighed. "I get anxious and scared that Ray might remember what I did before I do. That's why I want to remember my past. If I remember it, then... Well, there's really nothing I can do about it now, right? Maybe I'll be able to laugh it off like it was nothing. But y'know, that's what scares me the most. Remembering my past... it terrifies me."

I could see his hands clench over his knees. He's been dealing with all of this all on his own. I quietly placed my hand over his. He tensed at first, but then I felt him relax under my touch.

"Ziya..."

"Thank you for telling me all that," I said with a hard gulp. Thoma smiled, the gentlest I'd seen from him so far - it was a smile of relief.

"I'm glad you asked me." Thoma placed his free hand over mine. "I've been holding on to those feelings for some time. It's been especially hard recently. So, thank you," he said with awe-inspiring sincerity.

Thoma was always trying to be cheerful, but he was fighting his own battles, too. His dark auburn eyes held so much sweetness in them, and gratitude seemed to overshadow his concerns, though they were still there. I wanted to reassure him, tell him that I had felt the same way before I got my memories back, and that it wouldn't be as scary if he knew that he wasn't alone anymore, but whatever words I might have said were sticking to the walls of my throat.

"Well, that got dark," Thoma laughed, a picture of his usual self. He smiled so widely that his eyes pinched shut. "How 'bout some chocolate?"

"We're in a library; you can't just ea-mmph!" Before I could finish, he snapped off a piece of a chocolate bar and slipped it inside my mouth. I tried to say something else: "No eahtung in thwa librwarmm."

"What did you say?" he chuckled, and I chewed fast, glaring at him. "Oh, don't think I'd leave you hanging." He took a bite of the chocolate bar, winking at me. "We're pawtnwers in crwime."

Thoma blushed like a rose. I covered my mouth with my hand to stop myself from giggling. That was pretty adorable.

"You two again!" hissed the librarian. "No eating in the library!"

Thoma and I looked at each other, unsuccessfully trying to hold back our laughter.