WE PULLED INTO A DINER alongside the road for a meal. I'd been so out of it that I had completely forgotten about eating—I was just about ready to go straight to the archives room, to search for Licht—but since Ray had mentioned breakfast, I'd become acutely aware of the vacancy in my stomach.

The diner's walls and tables were a warm yellow, almost beige, and the seating was red and white alternatively. We arrived at the bar to place our orders, and once they arrived, the bright-faced barista (Ginny was her name, according to her uniform) pointed us to a booth beneath a painting of a generously cheesed pizza. I watched Subaru occupy the seat beside me while Ray settled down with his food across from us.

"Is that all you're gonna eat?" Ray pointed to my plate with his spoon.

"Hmm..?" I observed my choices: apple slices, French toast, and a carton of milk. Did Subaru tell him I eat a lot or something? "I don't want to feel too full. Especially not with what we're doing."

"I know for a fact that you can eat more than that," chimed Subaru. Ah! So, he hasn't forgotten that!

I pouted, plunging my fork into a piece of apple. "Yeah, I know I have a big appetite. But,"—I took a bite of my food, chewed, swallowed—"I just don't feel like eating a lot these days. With everything that's happening, I feel like my stomach's been turned inside out, y'know?"

"Stress," Ray diagnosed.

I nodded, looking at him as he sipped on his orange juice. For a moment, I just observed him, and then I spoke unfiltered. "I'm relieved you seem better than you were yesterday, Ray."

He nodded a bit hesitantly. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. I didn't know why I'd said anything, but I felt as though it was because a part of me missed the Ray I'd come to know. Maybe I wanted to say what I was thinking in the hopes that it would stick, that he wouldn't run off again. I didn't want him to disappear. I could almost reach for his hand, just to prove to myself that he was there.

Ray devoured his first pancake before looking at Subaru with a confused expression. "Look at the amount of sugar you're dumping in that."

"What?" Subaru deadpanned.

"Keep at it, and you're going to get diabetes."

A smile slithered onto Subaru's face. "What, are you worried about me?"

Ray swallowed his food and then pointed his spoon at him. "Coffee and sugar are good in healthy amounts. But honestly, if you want energy and a stronger immune system, you better drink your vitamin C." He swiped his own glass and drank his juice. "Ahh!" he exclaimed with a sharp breath, his throat vibrating in delight. "Like this! Caffeine keeps you alert, but it doesn't help your body repair itself. Wait, are you even listening to me?"

I watched Subaru down half of his coffee in just one gulp. Whoa... It's like he actually runs on coffee. Then, he set the cup down, licking his lips.

"You were saying?"

Ray shook his head, but he wasn't mad. They've gotten closer. I bit into my French toast, letting the taste of it camp on my tongue. Despite my appetite, it felt as though the flavour was richer because we were eating together.

As much as we would have liked to stay at the diner, we headed out the moment we were done eating. I pretended not to notice as Ray and Subaru pretended not to fight over the bill before splitting it equally, and then it was back to the orphanage.

Back to where it had all begun.

We stood before the stairs leading to the basement, peering into the abyss. The eerie howling of the wind swept through the building's arteries and I was overcome with a critical case of the creeps.

Guess I'm not as used to this as I thought.

Subaru took out a flashlight and shined it on the steps. They were covered in dust and puddles that hadn't been there the day before. The evidence of our previous explorations had washed away and it dawned on me that it must have rained while we were in the nightmare world, but thankfully, the staircase still seemed intact.

"I'll go first."

"No, let me," offered Ray.

Subaru looked surprised for a moment but immediately forced on a smile and handed Ray the flashlight. "You don't need to worry about me. I'm perfectly fine."

"I'm... I'm not worried. Shut up and get moving." He is concerned about us, there's no denying it. Ray turned to look at me. "You should stay between us, Ziya."

"Got'cha." I put on my bravest face. Alright, I can do this, I encouraged myself as we slowly descended the stairs.

All tense muscles and limbs, we carefully made our way down into the now-flooded basement, the water coming up past our ankles. The stains on the walls were creeping me out, too, each starting to look like the bloodstains we'd found last time. I tried my best to avoid touching them. Resisting the rising urge to puke, I swallowed hard and trudged forward. The air was thick with the familiar scent of blood, so thick I could taste it.

In an effort to take my mind off my putrid surroundings, I tried thinking about the past. We'd been forbidden to wander too far, and there had always been parts of the building we weren't supposed to be in. Ray had gotten scolded several times for trying to sneak into the basement. I wondered if he remembered that. And finally, one day, Father invited us down here, to the place we had been most curious about. Despite my curiosity, I remembered how completely terrified I had been.

But at least Licht was there. Yes... He held my hand all the way down.

"It's okay. Don't be scared," he'd said. "I'll protect you. I'm gonna rescue you from the darkness."

And that eventually became the day we'd lose our memories. When I thought about it now, the darkness he had been talking about was never the basement but my past.

"Licht..." I whispered subconsciously. He's okay, right? I'm sure I'll be able to see him again... I clenched my fists as if to try to withhold my worries.

"I've been thinking," Subaru said unexpectedly, pushing my daydream from my mind. "The monster should have showed up last night."

I nodded. "But it didn't. Yeah, I've been wondering about that, too."

"He's been trapped in his own head for thirteen years," Subaru continued. "And with what Silas Ackerman said about him, he had a lot of happy memories."

"Does that mean Licht doesn't have any traumatic memories?"

Ray joined in, "No bad memories means no monster coming after you, it seems."

Our awful memories had been erased, but Licht's had been wiped out entirely.

"Did you guys ever notice the monster?" I asked. "We've all had demons inside us, but they didn't come in any specific forms."

"What do you mean?" asked Ray, and he stopped dragging his feet through the water long enough for me to answer.

"I mean, think about it. Maybe I've watched too many TV shows, but... a lot of times, fears take shape into something distinct. Because we're not afraid of the same things, the monster should differ for each of us."

"But the nightmare chasing us is one in the same," noted Subaru.

"Yes," I breathed. "It's that big blob with too many limbs and multiple faces..." all those voices.

"Then maybe it's a combination of all our trauma lumped together," Ray suggested sadly, Subaru went quiet, and I nodded at them both. "The places from The Nightmare are all woven from our past. It would make sense that the monster would be the same way."

"That's true. It could be an amalgamation of all the things we fear," Subaru caught on. "And maybe it's so heavy with burden that it's shaped irregularly."

"If so, then that would explain why it gets weaker every time we deal with our memories," I said. "The monster gets smaller and smaller when a part of it, that is, the trauma of the test subjects, is restored to their memories. If we can face our trauma and overcome it, the monster will go away. We went through a lot as kids. Putting that together can be hell for anyone. But as long as we carry that weight together..."

We reached the door to where Licht had been in The Nightmare. Yesterday, this door was locked and we couldn't get it open. But now...

"We can find a way to make it through."

I slowly closed my eyes, recalling what Licht had told me. Even if we were in separate worlds, we would always be connected. I will find you, Licht.

"L0129," I exhaled, opened my eyes, and consciously entered the code.

The sounds of the buttons echoed through the gloomy hallway. Please work... We waited a moment.

CLICK.

The door unlocked and we smiled at one another, breathing a unanimous sigh of relief.

"Good job, Ziya," Ray gave me a firm pat on the head. That little gesture of his didn't bother me anymore. "Alright, let's go in. Let's put an end to this and break free from this nightmare world."

"Let's do it," breathed Subaru.

We nodded at each other and stepped into the room hastily, trying to keep as much of the water from the basement from spilling in. The little water that had filtered through the cracks pooled at our feet, causing us to slip about slightly as we slammed our backs to the door.

"We made it." I glimpsed between Ray and Subaru, and the two of them huffed consecutively.

The records room was cold. It felt like, I imagined, a gutter after the rain, except it was large enough to store every written secret Bluebells had to keep. Subaru flicked a switch and the fluorescents sputtered before casting a dim light.

"That's better than nothing," he said.

A vast expanse of paperwork welcomed us. How are we going to read through all of this? I was reminded of the day at the library and ogled Subaru, wondering if he already knew what to look for now like he had then.

"Let's split up," said Ray. "Start with the oldest ones."

"Roger that."

"Okay."

With some direction, we made our way along the bookcases. The hardbound books were arranged by year, making it a little easier to know where to start. I gravitated towards the records from thirteen years before the orphanage closed down. My eyes followed the dates up to the top shelf where the earliest records were kept, only to discover that they were so high up that I couldn't reach them. Looking down the aisle to where I knew Subaru was searching, I considered getting him to help me like he had back at the library, but I couldn't bother him now. We didn't have any time to waste. Instead, I looked around and spotted a ladder beside a bookcase. I worked at repositioning it.

Is this safe? I had no time to think things through, so I took a chance and stepped up the wooden rungs. It creaked, but it got the job done. As long as I distribute my weight right, I should be able to keep it from breaking. Focussed, I ran my hand along the book titles. One of them seemed promising.

"Found anything, Ziya?"

"Wha—Ohh!" I startled, and then... "Aaah!" I felt the pull of gravity plunging me down.

"Whoa, hey!"

Anticipating the pain, I squeezed my eyes shut and braced for impact. But instead of the cold, hard floor, I landed on something warm. Warm? This feels like... I slowly opened my eyes. What in the world? I had found myself on top of Ray.

"You okay?" he asked, his surprise shaping into concern.

You caught me... "Y-Yeah..." I barely exhaled. Not knowing how to move away from him, I stayed put, eyes darting around nervously.

But then, Ray just laughed, his hand reaching for the small of my back. "You've gotten awfully bold, haven't you?"

I croaked, "It's not like I did this on purpose!" I tried to get up, but Ray held me firmly in place. "Wh-What are you doing? Let me go."

"What? You aren't even going to thank me?"

He flashed me a smile, and it took me a moment to acknowledge what he'd just said. There was disappointment in his voice, wrapped around his words like a ribbon.

"Thank you..."

"And?"

"And what?"

"Well, I specifically went out of my way to save you," he said, coming up off the floor just a little until I could see where his blush began and ended—on the very tips of his ears. "How about a thank-you kiss?"

"Huh? What are you talking about?" I was blushing, too. "Don't tease me like that."

"Haha! Sorry, sorry." Ray gave me a brief mischievous smile before his expression turned serious. "But honestly... I really do want to kiss you right now."

There was a thump in my chest like thunder as Ray looked up at me, his eyes dreamy. The more he stared at me, the more I felt myself getting redder and redder, heating up like a furnace.

"T-That's..." I trailed off. This angle is making me see things differently.

"Ziya..."

His steady gaze, the way he called my name... everything about him in this moment was telling me how he felt about me. I wasn't imagining this.

"S-Seriously..." I stuttered. "Is this some kind of fetish you have? Creepy places and all."

"Maybe," he smirked, mischievously raising his eyebrows.

Subaru was nearby. Plus, we were in a dusty old room. It wasn't exactly the ideal setting for a kiss, and yet. Even so, I don't feel like fighting it. It must be because... because I like Ray. But...

"Or maybe..." he continued, interrupting my thoughts, and he came up some more. Ray's hand touched my neck and I watched it slither across my shoulder. My skin broke into goosebumps with the way he caressed me—he wasn't even touching my bare skin, still, I felt it tingling. "I just want to hold you like this. Nothing more, nothing less," his whispers graced my cheek.

By then, Ray had moved up enough that we were sitting, my legs hugging either side of him. I turned my face to find him staring intensely at me, passionately, his eyes locking onto mine. Oh... When he looks at me like that... Something warm bubbled at the pit of my stomach, an urgent need.

"I like how you look at me, Ziya."

Is it that obvious? His hand settled at my jaw and his thumb stroked my cheek. His touch was so gentle. Despite Ray's teasing, I knew he was always sincere. I really liked that about him.

"Jeez. You're so—!" He cut me off with the kiss I'd been waiting for.

I closed my eyes to savour the sensation, each second passing far too soon. His lips... This was so different from the innocent pecks he'd spared before. He pressed into me, angling my head so he could take me deeper. Ray...

"Ziya..." he paused to call my name, only to steal my lips again right after. But the last one was a gentle tug. Then, he moved past to whisper in my ear, "You're so adorable, you know. It's one of the things I like about you." Ah... Did Ray just confess to—? "I like you, Ziya."

My overjoyed heart swelled, and I threw my arms around him. The hug sent us back to the floor with a light thud. I can't resist you... I could hardly think anything else; all I knew was that his words were all that mattered, if just for a moment. It was like he had given me a piece of him to hold onto, and for the first time, I felt like maybe he wouldn't slip through my fingers now.

"Ray..." I breathed, coming up slowly with my hands firmly placed on the ground, his face between them.

The cold tiles calmed me down just a little. My gaze traced along his features leisurely, memorising the strong curve of his jaw, the graceful arch of his brow, the soft sigh on his lips, and those deep brown eyes gleaming hazel under the fluorescents, trained on mine. While I brought my hand to his cheek, his remained on my waist, and I leaned in.

"I l—"

BANG!

Suddenly, there was a loud crash from somewhere within the records room. I looked at Ray wide-eyed, afraid to know what it could have been. We scrambled to our feet, albeit with an undercurrent of reluctance between us, and called out for Subaru. There was a beat of silence for much longer than we'd liked before he finally answered. When we reached the top of our aisle, Subaru sneaked up on us like a quiet little mouse.

"That wasn't me," he muttered, scaring us half to death. "I checked all the aisles on my way here; it must have come from further down."

"Do you think someone's here?" I whispered, a hand on my chest.

"I don't know."

Ray's frown intensified. "Only one way to find out."

He and Subaru stood on either side of me as we crept down the aisle between the bookshelves. Due to the faulty lighting, most of the aisles were either dimly lit or not at all, which only made us more anxious. Honestly, I half expected the monster or a ghost child to appear at that point. We searched each aisle and searched again, but found nothing.

"Maybe it was a squirrel," I joked.

Ray looked at me in shock and nearly rolled his eyes but a chuckle escaped him instead, Subaru's pearly blue eyes pinched shut as he joined in.

"Right. We should get back to hunting for clues," said Ray before shooting a smile in my direction. "Do you need any help, Ziya?"

I blushed hard at the thought of being alone with Ray again, shaking my head. "I'll be fine, thank you."

"Okay, well, come find me if you do," he smirked roguishly—it was practically a wink. Is Ray flirting with me?

Before I could respond, Ray disappeared down one of the aisles. So, I turned to Subaru with a sheepish smile. It always surprised me to see him with both eyes blue, especially since he was just with me and Ray, but I chose not to bother him about it.

"I'll let you know if I find anything," he said.

I wondered if Subaru had sensed anything different between Ray and me—that expression of his was unreadable as ever. Then he left, too. Standing there on my own, I suddenly felt terrified. Not because I was alone, but because it dawned on me that Licht had kissed me, I had kissed Ray, and Subaru had confessed his feelings before any of that. What a mess... I refused to be the rift in our friendships, but how was I supposed to follow my heart without breaking theirs? I was being pulled in different directions and it was dizzying. Was it even possible for all three of them to care so deeply for me? Was any of it real, or did it somehow have to do with our connection to Licht and The Nightmare?

Will their feelings disappear at the end of all this?

With a heavy mind, I started walking, trying my best to abandon my thoughts in the aisle. No way... I steeled myself. Right now, I have to focus on helping Licht.

I went through several books, starting from the lower shelves this time—couldn't risk falling again. All the same, I left the area after a while without anything useful. I wonder how Subaru and Ray are doing. I called out, but neither of them answered.

As I pondered where to go next, I discovered some stacked boxes down one aisle. One box had fallen from the pile, its loose flap catching my attention and drawing me closer. I was anxious to know why it was open and what lay inside. Maybe this box toppling over caused the bang we had heard earlier, and maybe, by some divine design, its contents were what we had been looking for.

I peeked inside and pulled out a notebook of some kind. "What's this?" When I turned it around to get a better look, my heart skipped a beat. The front cover read, "Licht's Diary."

My hands shook, hesitant to open the journal. It's bad manners to read someone's diary! No matter how badly I wanted to read it, I didn't want to invade a young boy's privacy. I turned the journal in my hands as I decided what to do when something slipped out from between the pages. A letter? I picked it up quickly.

"To Ziya..." I read. "It's addressed to me?"

The image of Licht as a little boy smiling at me came to mind. This letter... Could this be what he wanted to say before the experiment changed everything?

I love you, Ziya...

I bit my lip. It's okay to read this, right? It's for me after all!

Fighting the voice in my head, I tucked the envelope into the diary and swept my palm across the cover gently. His handwriting is so cute. I returned the journal to the box with a sigh. Whatever was in there, Licht could tell me himself when we rescued him.

Pressing on, I eventually came by Subaru. At his feet, he seemed to have collected some records and separated them into stacks according to their relevance or potential. Clever. By comparison, I knew I would get nowhere if I returned to my aisle, but I did not want to disrupt Subaru's concentration either, so I picked a lane beside his and worked from there.

Time passed impatiently as we went through each file we found. When I glimpsed down at the hefty pile I had curated to gauge my progress, I felt as though all my efforts were wasted. The biggest pile was irrelevant. There's still so many. I'm not sure how much we've covered, but it seems never-ending. None of this was enough.

"Ziya, come here for a second," Subaru popped up from the other side of the aisle, waving his hand, and I ditched the book I was holding to meet him. "Look at these files."

He took out a folder overfilled with paperwork and we scanned through it together.

"This one's a check."

"That's the governor's seal," Subaru pointed out. "This amount is insane. And they used it to fund Silas Ackerman's experiment."

We flipped another page and found even more specifics.

"Bluebells Orphanage, founded by Silas Ackerman..." I read. "He really is Father."

"Look at this," he gasped. "This is a picture of all of us. The caption says 'subjects'."

"Classified: Bluebells orphans undergo trauma cleansing in new research. The purpose of the experiment was to erase the traumatic memories from young children..."

"... and implant positive ones to help them live better lives. This will allow them to create a better world." Subaru and I glanced at each other. "This is all the info we've been looking for, Ziya."

"Wait, there's more! Trauma cleansing fails, Silas Ackerman in hot water. The subjects of the experiment lost their traumatic memories, but the experiment failed to create positive ones. Licht Ackerman, Silas Ackerman's own son, is said to be in a coma."

My jaw dropped at what I'd read. A coma? Licht didn't die after the experiment! Then, is he still... does that mean..? Is it safe for me to assume that he's still in the real world?

I clutched the paper in my hands.

Licht, I will find you.