XLVIII. YOU ASKED FOR THIS.

☽ ༓ ☾

REESE FOWLER WAS actually alive.

After seven years of thinking that he was dead, killed in a car wreck that may or may not have been intentional, he had managed to survive.

Birdie struggled to wrap her head around it, to understand why her father waited so long to come back into her life. Reese claimed it was to keep her safe and gave her a chance to step away from the hunting life that he and Serena raised her in, yet Birdie wasn't sure if she believed that or not. And then, to find out he sold his soul for her. . .it was too much in such a short amount of time.

She needed proper time to process everything. That was all.

Four hours had passed since then and she was still struggling just to even think about her father. She had tried and tried to get her phone back on during that time, but it was completely dead and she didn't have a charger with her. There weren't any stores or gas stations for miles, empty valleys and mountains on both sides of her as she headed to the last place she knew the boys had been for sure: Bobby's house.

She wasn't sure if anyone would still be there, but it wouldn't hurt to check. If they weren't there, maybe they had left behind some clues that could allow her to figure out where they went next.

Birdie adjusted her grip on the steering wheel as she thought of the boys and Bobby, keeping her eyes on the road. Faint music was coming from the cassette tape, static occasionally coming through as if it was an older tape. It wasn't a song Birdie recognized, though she was thankful for the noise it provided as it prevented her from getting too lost in her racing thoughts. She glanced around the inside of the van she'd "borrowed" from behind the motel, hoping she would spot something she could use to charge her phone as if she didn't already look.

Birdie let out a sigh, shaking her head as she shifted in the seat. Her eyes slightly widened when it made a snapping sound with her movement, but thankfully nothing happened to the seat nor did it make any other odd sounds.

Perhaps she would pick a different car once she finally found the boys.

But for now, she was stuck with a 70's style van.

It was a black van with red, orange, and yellow stripes on the outside that had started to fade. Behind the front seats were colorful beads that separated the back of the van that was styled with an orange, fuzzy carpet that went up one side of the wall. Two bean bag chairs were in the very back by some 70's-era posters and tapestry. It was very old school, but Birdie kinda liked it.

"Where are you going?"

A scream pierced through the van and Birdie's panicked eyes looked to the passenger seat, gaping at the sight of Castiel suddenly sitting beside her. She didn't even remember the last night she'd seen the angel.

A horn honked in front of her and Birdie gasped, realizing she'd accidentally swerved into the opposite lane. She quickly turned the wheel, returning to her correct lane as her heart continued to beat in her ears.

"What the actual fuck, Castiel?" Birdie harshly snapped, placing one of her hands over her heart. She sucked in heavy breaths, shaking her head as she tried to relax. "Some fuckin' angel you are! You almost killed me, you fucking asshole!"

"I'm sorry, Birdie. That was not my intention," Castiel apologized, though it didn't sound very genuine.

Birdie huffed, rolling her eyes in a mix of frustration and annoyance. "Whatever. What do you want, Castiel? I'm a little busy right now."

"I assume you're searching for the Winchesters and Bobby Singer," he said, looking at her.

Birdie furrowed her brows, momentarily catching his eye. "Yeah. Do you know what the hell happened?" Birdie wondered. The only person she'd had contact with since coming back to life⎯⎯⎯which Birdie found was still weird to think about⎯⎯⎯was her father and he didn't seem to know anything about the apocalypse that was upon them. Besides the boys and Bobby, she really didn't have any other friends she would have contacted to find out what they knew. She wasn't sure if Castiel would be willing to give her any facts, but she had to at least try. He owed her that much at least.

"The last seal was broken and Lucifer was set free," Castiel answered.

"Well, no shit, Sherlock. I know that. What happened after Lucifer was set free?" Castiel blinked, clearly not understanding the Sherlock reference. Birdie shook her hand, huffing. "Forget it. Just tell me what happened. I need answers."

"Mayhem is spreading all across the globe with Lucifer free. Earthquakes, tsunamis, plagues, demons are━━━"

"What about Sam and Dean? Bobby?" Birdie asked, a hint of fear swirling in her stomach. "Are they okay?"

"They're alive," Castiel said. Birdie let out a sigh of relief, loosening her grip on the steering wheel. They're alive. That was a win. "And the Winchesters have separated."

"Wait what?" Birdie deeply frowned.

"Sam is taking a break from hunting for the foreseeable future. I assume it's to cope with the demon blood addiction he relied on for his powers and the fact that he set Lucifer free."

Birdie shook her head, giving Castiel a harsh look. "It wasn't his fault. He thought he was doing a good thing. . ." Birdie's voice dragged off, shaking her head. All those months of stopping demons, saving lives from multiple monsters, and working with Ruby in hopes they would kill Lilith and stop her from setting Lucifer free. . .only for it to have been Lilith's plan with Ruby and Felicity right at her side the entire time.

Birdie should've known better.

If Serena had still been alive, there was no doubt in Birdie's mind that she wouldn't have done it.

She could hear her mother's voice in her head, berating and screaming at her for what she did. . .and Serena was right.

"We both did. . ."

"You should also know that Bobby was stabbed." Birdie's eyes tripled in size, unable to stop herself from looking at Castiel. She shook her head, quickly pulling over to the side of the road. A car honked behind her, one she didn't even realize was there as it whizzed past her. Birdie simply ignored them, focusing her gaze on Castiel again.

"What the fuck happened?" Birdie demanded, her urgency to know the details making itself known as her eyes pierced through Castiel's meat suit and directly onto the angel. "You can't just say that and then not elaborate!"

"A demon possessed him and attacked Sam and Dean two days ago. Bobby managed to take back control of his body and stabbed himself with the demon knife in order to save Dean and kill the demon, but he is unable to walk now."

A pang reverberated throughout Birdie's chest at the information. She let out a shaky breath, leaning against the back of the seat. Her lips were slightly parted, gaze locked on Castiel's though he lacked any kind of emotion. Birdie closed her eyes and lowered her head down, running a hand through her messy hair. "Fuck," Birdie whispered after a few seconds, biting the inside of her cheek. She should've been there to help, to stop it. If she just didn't listen to Ruby and Felicity⎯⎯⎯if she didn't convince Sam to trust them⎯⎯⎯none of them would've been in this mess. But suddenly she saw Castiel's hand reaching out toward her out of the corner of her eye and she scoffed, swatting his hand away with a sharp glare directed at him. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Birdie snapped, leaning towards the door so there was a little more distance between her and the questionable angel. "Get your damn hand away from me!"

Castiel heavily sighed, almost sounding annoyed. "It's a brand for protection."

"Fuck no," Birdie denied, fervently shaking her head. She scooted further to the left, continuing to shake her head when Castiel tried to speak again. "No, keep your branding hands to yourself."

"This will prevent any demons or angels from finding you, Birdie. You would be wise to let me do it. I've already done it to Sam and Dean."

Birdie huffed, glancing at Castiel. "I'll do it on one condition."

Castiel slightly tilted his head, confusion on his features. "What is it?"

☽ ༓ ☾

"I don't see what is so important about these. They hold no nutritional value."

Birdie loudly scoffed and turned on her heels, snatching the box of Oreos out of Castiel's hand to put it back in the cart with the other two boxes. Castiel curiously stared at her, his brows scrunching together. "They're important because they taste amazing, Castiel," Birdie stated. "And for your information they do too have nutritional value."

"That's not what the back of th⎯⎯⎯"

"Cas," Birdie warned.

The angel quietly sighed, reluctantly nodding his head. Birdie leaned her arms against the cart, slowly moving down the snack aisle with Castiel a few steps behind her. He wasn't very happy to get roped into going to the grocery store with the woman, however he didn't want anything to happen to Birdie before he gave her the protection brand. But, he figured it wouldn't take very long and he could return to his search for God⎯⎯⎯something that surprised Castiel that it didn't interest Birdie in the slightest when he mentioned it. Birdie was sure that Castiel's quest was very important, but she had other pressing matters that she needed to stay focused on.

Birdie fastened her pace and turned the corner, tapping her fingers on the cart as she started to head towards the electronics area at the back of the store. Castiel curiously looked around as he trailed behind, doing double takes at some of the outfits people wore. For being as old as he probably was and that he was an angel, Birdie would've thought that he was more in tune with humans and the way they dressed, talked, and acted. Birdie glanced over her shoulder, snickering at Castiel's puzzled yet interested expression. He was watching a young couple arguing over which baby food to buy their unborn child.

"For an angel, you look a little lost around humans," Birdie commented, causing Castiel to look at her.

"I am very familiar with humans," Castiel said. As if to prove his point, Castiel smiled at a middle aged man who was about to walk past them. "Hello." The man scrunched up his face, oddly looking at Castiel and then Birdie as he walked by. Castiel's smile fell and Birdie busted out laughing, not even trying to hold it in. Castiel blinked, staring at Birdie. "I don't understand. How was that funny?"

"Wow," Birdie breathed out. "Maybe you need to brush up on how to interact with today's humans."

"What I need to do is get back to my mission," Castiel said, casting a look in Birdie's direction.

Birdie rolled her eyes and started walking again, glancing over at Castiel. "You can go after we finish up here," Birdie said. "There's only a few more things I need to grab and then I'll be done."

"Fine."

They walked side by side in a somewhat comfortable silence, the electronics section coming into view as they cut through the kids' toys section. Birdie's eyes momentarily skimmed over the toys, ignoring a painful memory of her mother yelling at her for looking at the toys when they were there to get some groceries. She frowned, quickly looking away from the wide range of Barbie dolls that peered up at her with bright smiles. She did her best to ignore a little girl giggling as she and her mother picked out some toys, no doubt for the little girl who was grinning like a little kid on Christmas morning. She played random tunes in her head to ignore the voices of those they paced, thankful that no one batted an eye at her or Castiel. She doubted that any demons would be inside of a Walmart that was in the middle of nowhere, but she could never be certain about anything anymore.

"I see you're still wearing the necklace." Birdie glanced down at the necklaces that dangled around her neck, looking over at Castiel in confusion. She wasn't sure which one he was talking about. "The one that shielded Felicity from being detected."

Birdie immediately halted, looking at Castiel with wide eyes. "How the hell do you know about her?" she demanded to know. At this point, she didn't see a reason to lie about Felicity anymore. However, there were only a few people that knew Felicity had been around, and she was fairly certain that Castiel wasn't one of them.

"Dean told me," Castiel answered. Birdie faltered slightly, but she did her best not to show it on her face. With Castiel knowing. . .it could bring all kinds of unwanted trouble from the angels⎯⎯⎯especially on Birdie since it was her that let Felicity in and went along with everything she said as if she wasn't taught to do the complete opposite. "He also told me that she visited him and Sam the morning after Sam set Lucifer free."

"Wait," Birdie said, taking a few moments as the words slowly registered in her head. "What did you just say?"

"Felicity is still alive, Birdie," Castiel said. "I don't know how, but she is and she is still protected. I can't locate her."

Birdie let out a sigh, closing her eyes as she lowered her head.

Felicity was still alive?

It shouldn't have been a surprise to Birdie that Felicity was alive, but she had assumed the worst when she was nowhere to be found. After all, Felicity needed a host and for a long time, Birdie was that host. It made sense that Felicity could have died. But here both of them were, still alive.

Hearing it out loud though, and from Castiel, it just made it even more worrisome.

Who knew what Felicity was up to now.

Birdie twisted her lips, slowly beginning to walk again. "Before Ruby. . .before she killed me, Felicity told me that she'd changed her mind about helping Ruby after she got to know me and the boys more," she said, glancing at Castiel. "And that she didn't know Ruby was working for Lilith."

"If she found Sam and Dean, she might try to find you too," Castiel said, almost sounding like he was trying to caution Birdie.

"That's just fuckin' perfect," Birdie said, a harsh look in her eyes the more her thoughts focused on Felicity. "I hope she does find me because I'll do what Ruby couldn't. I'll kill her."

Castiel opened his mouth as if he was going to speak, but Birdie just fastened her pace. He watched her for a few seconds and then started to walk again, occasionally glancing around at the other shoppers. The electronics department was coming closer into view, as well as Castiel as he came up beside Birdie to match her pace. Birdie turned to the right, easing to a stop as she glanced at the hooks in front of her that held a wide range of phone chargers. Hopefully the type she needed would be there.

"You know, you don't seem very surprised I'm alive," Birdie noted, casting a look at Castiel as she stood in front of a row of phone charges. "Did you not know or. . ."

"I heard word that you were dead, but then I heard the angels talking last night. You were revived and they don't know how," Castiel said. He turned his head, looking at Birdie. Birdie tensed slightly, not liking the way he was looking into her. It was like he was trying to see into her soul. 'Was that something an angel could do?' Birdie wondered until she just shook the thought off. That was something she could worry about later. "You wouldn't happen to know how, would you, Birdie?"

Birdie immediately shook her head. There was no way she was going to tell him. She still didn't trust him and there was no way she was going to put her father on his, or the angels', radar. "No, I don't," Birdie denied. "All I know is I was dead, and then I. . .I woke up in some weird ass motel by myself."

Castiel stared at Birdie for a few seconds later, but then he nodded. He still didn't believe her, but he didn't believe he'd get anything else out of her⎯⎯⎯not yet at least. He turned his head, curiously looking at the phone chargers. Birdie did the same, occasionally seeing the angel grab some and closely inspect them with great interest. She shook her head with a small smile, but it quickly faded as soon as it appeared.

Birdie tried to push her thoughts of Felicity out of her mind, but she couldn't stop them.

Felicity had saved Birdie's life, but not for the reason she led Sam and Birdie to believe.

She used Birdie as a vessel, toyed with her feelings and emotions as if they didn't mean anything. She convinced Birdie that Sam drinking the demon blood would help him control and better his powers, yet that was just another lie. Lie after lie was fed to Birdie, and she had foolishly believed every single one.

But, Birdie hated to admit it to herself, but she had grown fond of Felicity.

While she thankfully still had Sam after Dean's death, Felicity was there for her, too. Albeit Felicity could've been annoying at times, she still understood Birdie⎯⎯⎯more than most people as they shared a body for months on end. She took care of Birdie and lifted her up whenever she was feeling down. As genuine as it had sounded at the time, Birdie wasn't sure which times were fake, or if any of it was actually real like Felicity had claimed.

"Have you found one to your liking yet?"

Birdie blinked back to reality, eyes slightly widening as she turned her head to face Castiel. She stammered, looking at the chargers again. She quickly scanned over all of the options, humming to herself when she spotted one that matched the one she had before. She stepped forward and took it off the rack, giving Castiel a tiny smile as she held it up for him to see. "Yeah, I did," she said. "Happy now?"

"I will be happy once I can return to my mission."

"Right, your 'mission'," Birdie hummed, tossing the charger into the cart. She leaned her arms on the handle bar, raising her brows as Castiel held her gaze. "You really think you're gonna find God? The God?"

"Yes," Castiel answered.

Birdie slowly nodded, letting out a quiet breath. "Well, good luck with that."

"Thank you."

Birdie breathed out a laugh, shaking her head as the angel didn't realize she was being sarcastic. However, she chose not to point it out. She shifted her feet and stood up, scrunching up her nose as she moved to stand in front of the angel. "Well, a deal's a deal I guess," she said. "Lay your brand on me."

"I should warn you, it might hurt," Castiel said, stepping forward.

Birdie took a step back, holding up a hand to signal Catiel to stop. "Wait. How much?"

"You can ask Sam or Dean when you find them."

Without warning, Castiel reached forward and placed his hand on Birdie's arm. Birdie hissed and clenched her eyes shut, an intense pain burning through her shoulders and all the way down to her lower stomach. After a couple of seconds, Castiel removed his hand and Birdie immediately backed away from him. She placed her hand on her shoulder, hatefully glaring at the angel.

"That really fucking hurt," Birdie huffed, gingerly rubbing her shoulder as the pain started to subside. "You're an angel. Can't you do it without causing pain?"

"No."

Birdie scoffed, muttering under her breath. "Figures."

Castiel stood up straight, glancing around the store before he looked at Birdie again. "I won't be able to find you after this," he said.

"Well, my phone will be charged soon," Birdie said, shrugging her shoulders as the pain finally ceased to nothing. "You can always try that if you actually need to talk to me."

Castiel nodded, giving Birdie the faintest of smiles. Then, with a familiar flutter and a gentle gust of wind that pushed Birdie's curls over her shoulders, Castiel was gone.

Birdie blinked a few times, shaking her head. "I don't think I'll ever get used to that."

She twisted on her heel and reached forward, grabbing the charger out of the cart. She bit the inside of her cheek, glancing around the aisle. At the opposite end were some laptops on display. That meant there had to be a plug nearby in order for them to work. Birdie scanned the department for any employees, spotting some at the very end where they were restocking a shelf with their back to Birdie.

She smiled to herself and turned the cart around, tearing at the packaging of the charger as she tried to pry it open. She managed to get an opening by using her nails, gritting her teeth together as she pulled it apart. She let out a heavy sigh of relief, stopping when she reached the laptop display. She crouched down to search for a plug and grunted in annoyance. She could see the outlets, but they were in the cabinet where the locked away laptops were. If she were someone wanting to buy a laptop, she simply could've asked an employee to open it and perhaps convince them to let her use one if she was going to buy it. However, she doubted they would just let her plug in a charger and then walk away. So, she'd have to get it open herself.

She took another look just to make sure no one was around and got to work on picking the lock. Thankfully she'd still had her lockpick set on her. She worked it into the lock, smirking to herself when it didn't sound off any alarms as she slowly opened it. She carefully reached inside and plugged the charger in. Then she got her phone out of her pocket and plugged it in. She stood up and set the phone by one of the computers, partially closing the cabinet so it wasn't that obvious she'd broken inside.

Her gaze fell on the laptop, a sudden thought striking her when she saw it was open on Google. Birdie scooted a little closer, skeptically narrowing her eyes as she typed in a familiar website. She wasn't sure if it would actually pop up since lots of electronics that were put on display in stores had limited sites or items you could access. However, that wasn't the case with that laptop. The website popped up seconds later and Birdie felt a jolt of hope arise in her chest.

She quickly typed in her information, not caring that anyone could probably access it; it was already stolen information she was simply "borrowing". She clicked on a few icons, gasping in surprise when she saw Sam's name show up on a map. She immediately clicked on it and zoomed in on the area, unable to stop the smile that spread across her entire face.

She found him.

He was in Gerber, Oklahoma.

She zoomed out a little, expecting Dean's name to show up at least a little close to Sam, but it didn't. She zoomed out some more, knitting her brows together when she saw that he was all the way in Greenley, Pennsylvania. "Pennsylvania?" Birdie whispered to herself. "Why the hell is he all the way over there?"

"What do you think you're doing?"

Birdie quickly turned her head to the left, finding an older man with dark brown hair and a Walmart uniform staring at her with wide green eyes. He wore a name tag that said: DAN that was a little crooked and had what appeared to be mustard stains hidden beneath it. His pants were baggy on his legs, the ends rolled up as they were too long for his short legs. There was a necklace around his neck, a cross peaking out.

"Oh, I-I'm so sorry," Birdie said, sheepishly smiling at the man as she put extra effort into emphasizing her southern accent. "I just thought. . ."

"You can't use the computers, little lady," Dan said, giving her a sharp look. "And how'd you even get inside the case?"

"It was like that when I came over here," Birdie lied, innocently holding up her hands with a pout. Dan folded his arms over his chest, suspiciously narrowing his eyes on the younger woman. "I swear! I would never do something like that."

"You really expect me to believe that, ma'am?" he asked.

"It's the truth, Dan," Birdie said, giving Dan a pouty look that she only used on someone she was trying to trick. "My mama raised me to be good, not a sinner like Uncle Alfie. He would do something like that, but not me. I'm tryin' to stay in God's good graces."

Dan's expression softened just a little, a small smile spreading across his lips. Birdie smiled back and glanced at the screen, quickly logging out with just a few taps. "Wait⎯⎯⎯" Dan started to say.

"Sorry, sorry! That was the last thing I needed to do, mister," Birdie said, maintaining her fake smile. Dan raised a questionable brow, not quite sure what to think of the woman standing in front of him. She didn't exactly dress like any of the women he saw at his church, though he quickly shook his head. It wasn't his place to judge. "Am I free to go, Mr. Dan?"

"I suppose, so. . .you are gonna pay for that charger though, right?" Dan asked, having noticed the opened box in the car on top of the Oreos. "And your other items?"

Birdie immediately nodded. "Of course, Dan! I am no thief. Stealing is a sin."

Dan offered her another smile and glanced around, giving Birdie a firm nod. "Alright. I'll let it slide, but just this once," he said.

Birdie breathed out a dramatic sigh of relief and beamed at Dan. She quickly unplugged the charger and set it in the cart. She grabbed the handlebar and pushed it forward, still smiling at Dan as she started to walk past him. "Thank you so so much, Dan," Birdie said, batting her eyelashes at the man as she gently touched his arm. "I'll never forget you. Bless you, sir."

Dan's smile widened and he nodded. Birdie started to walk away, aware that Dan's eyes were still on her. She made it to the end of the aisle, but she halted in her steps when she heard Dan's voice.

"Ma'am, is that my wallet in your back pocket?"

Birdie slowly turned her head, feigning confusion. "What?" she asked.

Dan narrowed his eyes, pointing to something sticking out of her back pocket. "That."

Birdie felt her pocket, partially pulling something out. Sure enough, it was Dan's wallet.

She pursed her lips together, silently looking at Dan for a few seconds. "You really shouldn't stare at people's asses, Dan," Birdie huffed as she dropped the innocent act, stuffing the wallet down into her pocket. "It's not polite."

Dan stammered, starting to walk towards Birdie. "You-you stole my wallet!"

"But you wouldn't have noticed if you weren't⎯⎯⎯"

"Security!" a foreign voice called out from four aisles down; it was the employee who'd been restocking the shelves and was walking closer after overhearing Dan's shout.

Birdie quickly moved around the cart and turned it, blocking Dan from getting any closer to her. Dan huffed in annoyance, trying to grab Birdie but she shoved the cart into him. Dan yelped as he staggered back, bumping into a display case. Birdie reached into the cart and snatched up her Oreos, tucking them into her arms as her other hand grabbed the charger and a couple of other things she'd tossed inside the cart. She could see some other employees approaching out of the corner of her eye, quickly moving towards her with similar expressions of confusion and anger.

Birdie ignored Dan's pained groans behind her and booked it straight ahead, zig-zagging through aisle after aisle as she tried to get to the exit. She did her best to avoid bumping into people, muttering out half-assed apologies if she got too close to someone or actually bumped into someone. There was shouting coming from the electronics section, causing her to fasten her pace to make sure she didn't get caught. Everyone stared at her when she rushed passed, some murmuring as they wondered what was going on or making wild accusations as to why she was running. Though, some smiled in amusement as they realized what she was doing.

"Get back here!"

"Someone stop her!"

"Go, go, go!"

Birdie breathed out a laugh as she continued running, shaking her head as an old man cheered her on while his wife gaped at him in utter disbelief. Birdie headed straight through a family of six and passed the cramped checkout lanes, keeping a tight grasp on her belongings. Then she ran for the doors, having to dodge a woman who tried to stop her. The woman only succeeded in tripping over her own feet when she lunged at Birdie. Birdie winced as she heard the woman hit the floor, but she didn't dare stop. Her legs took her out of the store and around the building and straight for the van. She hastily set her items in the passenger seat and started up the van, booking it for the closest exit.

Now that she knew where the boys were, it was time to find them.

But, she would have to find the one who was closest to her first.

☽ ༓ ☾

Different scenarios played out in Birdie's mind as she walked, imagining all of the different ways the boys would react to seeing her again. She nearly drew a gun on Dean when he returned, and she didn't doubt that he would most likely do the same. She hoped that maybe her closer bond to Sam would let him see if it was really her without her having to do the usual routine of proving she was her, however she knew not to get her hopes up. Both boys' first thoughts would be that she was a monster and they would strike first and maybe ask questions later.

Birdie let out a heavy breath and pushed some hair behind her ears, absentmindedly grabbing the necklace from her father as she started to walk towards the back entrance of the building. Three cars were in the parking lot, any one of them possibly being used by a Winchester. Birdie stepped up to the door and gently pulled, letting out a sigh of relief when it opened. She wondered if they would've been closed at that hour, but maybe they were open late on Sunday nights.

She quietly stepped inside, carefully closing the door behind her so it didn't slam. She could faintly make out voices near the front, ones that she didn't recognize. A strange feeling trickled up Birdie's spine and she tensed, instantly reaching for her silver dagger. Sadly, she didn't have her gun. So, only a knife would have to do if something was wrong.

She crept forward, hearing the voices grow louder as she neared the main area.

"What do you want me to say?"

That was Sam.

Birdie knew his voice anywhere.

"The truth," a voice she didn't recognize said, a sharp tone in his voice. Birdie stepped closer, sneaking through the dimly lit kitchen. She wasn't sure what was going on, but she didn't want to cause anything to happen to Sam by jumping into a situation she couldn't see yet. Birdie ducked down and moved around the stovetops, making sure not to bump into anything. She slipped through the doorway and stayed hidden behind the bar. She sank closer to the ground and glanced at the large bottles of alcohol in front of her, searching for some kind of reflection she could use to see behind her. There she saw a small mirror on the wall a little further down, allowing her to partially see Sam and the man he was talking to.

The man was a little shorter than Sam and had a more round figure. He had dirty blond hair that was matted to his clammy forehead, blood and dirt covering his pale skin and some of his clunky clothes. Some of the blood still appeared to shine as if it wasn't completely dry. It was fresh blood, but who did it belong to?

Sam's dark hair was pushed back and he was wearing a blue button up and jeans, standing near a table he appeared to have just been wiping down. Thankfully there wasn't any blood or apparent injuries on him. So, the blood didn't belong to him. That was a plus.

"Okay, fine. Let me give you some of my own advice, then," the man said, taking a few steps closer to Sam. Birdie grabbed her dagger, knitting her brows together. "We go into town, we catch ourselves a demon, we get jumped by ten more. Steve bought it."

Sam sadly nodded, his face falling as he listened to the man. He must've known who the guy was talking about. "I'm sorry," Sam apologized.

"Saying it twice don't make it so, Sam," the guy said, shaking his head as he spoke. Birdie could hear the hurt and anger his voice, the pain that only losing someone close to you could bring out in someone. "You see, this demon, he, uh. . .he told us things. Crazy things, things about you, Sam."

At that, Sam's face hardened. Birdie's eyes widened, sitting up a little more. She scooted down, trying to get a better look at them through the grimy mirror. "Demons lie," Sam said.

Based on Sam's expression, he and Birdie already knew what the man was talking about.

"Yeah?" Sam nodded in response to the man's question. "I'm gonna ask you one last time. The truth. Now!"

The front door chimed as someone walked in and Birdie sank closer to the ground, tightening her grip on her knife. She heard a woman whimper, feet scuffling across the floor as if she was being yanked inside against her will. "Come on!" a different male voice snapped.

Sam's eyes widened in horror, eyes taking in the woman's features. "Lindsey!"

Birdie dared to turn around, just barely peeking over the bar behind some large spouts so they wouldn't spot her. There was a black man holding a blonde haired woman in his grasp, a large blade held in front of her throat.

"What's going on?" the woman, Lindsey, asked Sam.

"Just take it easy, okay? Put the knife down," Sam said. His demeanor had changed after seeing Lindsey, urgency lurking in his eyes. The situation had escalated and he needed to get a handle on it before it got even worse.

The man holding Lindsey narrowed his eyes, glancing at the other man. Birdie quickly ducked down, pressing her entire body up against the bar in hopes he wouldn't spot her. She heard footsteps growing closer and she held her breath, hearing something clatter on the counter just a few inches away from where she was.

Birdie stole a glance in the mirror, scrunching up her nose when she realized she couldn't see Sam anymore.

"It's true," Sam said after a few moments. "What the demons said⎯⎯⎯it's all true."

"Keep going," the blond man instructed.

"Why? You gonna hate me any less? Am I gonna hate myself any less?" Sam asked. Birdie frowned. "What do you want?"

"I wanna hear you say it."

Birdie shook her head, closing her eyes. It wasn't his fault!

"I did it. I started the apocalypse."

Birdie sighed, dropping her head down.

"What is that?" Sam asked.

Birdie lifted her head, scooting just a little closer in hopes she could see him in the mirror again. She partially saw the blond man was now holding up a small tube filled with a dark red liquid.

Birdie's eyes widened in horror. She instantly knew what it was. "No," she whispered.

"What do you think it is? It's go juice, Sammy boy."

"Get that away from me."

"Away from you?" the man asked, stepping closer to Sam. "No. This is for you. Hell, if that demon wasn't right as rain. Down the hatch, son."

"You're fuckin' insane."

"Here's what's gonna happen." The blond nodded towards his friend, a silent signal Birdie didn't understand. She hid down low again, desperately hoping she wouldn't be spotted yet. The black man moved Lindsey, handcuffing one of her wrists to one of the spouts at the bar. Then he walked up beside his friend, both staring straight at Sam. "You're gonna drink this, Hulk out, and you're gonna waste every one of the demons that killed my best friend. Or she dies."

"You wouldn't do that."

"It's funny how watching your best friend die changes that."

Both of the men started to advance towards Sam as he stepped back. Birdie partially stood up, quickly clamping her hand over the girl's mouth when she went to scream in fear. "Shh, don't, don't do it," Birdie hastily whispered, fervently shaking her head. "I'm here to help."

"Come on, you know you want it, Sam. Just reach out and take it."

Sam glanced aside, doing a double take when he saw Birdie. With her hand clamped over Lindsey's mouth still, it most likely wasn't a good sight. It surely wasn't how Birdie wanted Sam to first see her, but there was no going back now. However, the black man charged at Sam.

"No!" Birdie instantly shouted, making her presence known to the others.

Sam grabbed the black man and tossed him onto the pool table behind him, punching him in the face. Birdie hastily climbed over the bar, rushing over as the blond tackled Sam to the ground. The other man grabbed one of the loops of Birdie's overalls and yanked her back. She grunted as he shoved her to the ground, making her dagger slip from her hand. "Fuck!" Birdie shouted, clawing at the man with her nails when he bent down to pick her up off the floor. He hissed as Birdie scratched his face, tearing some of the skin and causing him to bleed. He grabbed Birdie by the throat and sat her up some, forcing her to look at Sam. The blond man also had a hold on Sam, his other hand holding the vial of demon blood.

Sam's gaze locked with Birdie's, his eyes examining her with a harsh look. But, after a few seconds, his features softened.

Somehow he knew it was Birdie⎯⎯⎯really her.

"Drink it, or they both die, Sam," the blond one said, holding the vile in front of Sam's face.

"Don't do it, Sam!" Birdie said, frantically shaking her head. The man holding her clenched his jaw, tightening his grip on Birdie's throat. She latched onto his hand, shooting him a hateful look as kneeled over her so she couldn't break free.

Sam's eyes examined Birdie's for a few seconds, seeing her sucking in sharp breaths. He clenched his jaw and looked at the blond man. The man pushed his hand forward, gripping Sam's jaw as forced his mouth open and poured the blood into Sam's mouth.

"No!" Birdie managed to gasp out, struggling against the man's tight hold. The blond clamped his hand over Sam's mouth, wanting to make sure he had no other choice but to swallow it. Birdie shoulders sank as Sam clenched his eyes shut, seemingly swallowing the red liquid.

The blond smugly smiled and stood up sharing a look with his friend who finally let go of Birdie. Birdie pushed the man away from her, hastily getting up to make her way over to Sam. The men backed away, though they kept their eyes on Sam and Birdie in case they tried anything. Birdie bent down, holding back a frown when she saw some blood smeared around Sam's mouth, tiny droplets dripping onto his shirt as Birdie helped him to his feet.

"There, was that really so bad?" the blond asked, panting from the adrenaline that was still coursing through his veins.

Sam took a few steps closer, suddenly spitting the blood in the blond's eye. He groaned, pushing his face into his hands. The black man lunged at Sam but Birdie rushed ahead, kneeing him in the stomach with an angry grunt. As he keeled over, she grabbed his chin and forced him to look up as she swung her fist directly into his face. The blond made a move for Sam with an enraged look in his eyes, but Sam swung his fist before he could be hit. Then he grabbed the back of the man's jacket and slammed him into the bar, breaking a glass cup that had been there from the force. Linsdey gasped, holding her hand near her chest as she helplessly watched. Sam picked up the knife that the other man had set down and held it to the blond's throat, but suddenly he noticed that Lindsey was watching, completely scared and speechless.

Birdie gave the black man a look and kept her fists raised when he finally stood up, but Sam pushed the blonde towards his friend. "Go," Sam ordered, pointing towards the door.

"Don't think we won't be back," the black man said.

"Don't think I won't be here."

The two men then stumbled out of the bar, rushing across the street. Birdie let out a heavy breath, looking at Lindsey as tires squealed down the road. "Are you okay?" Birdie asked.

Lindsey stammered, misty eyes flickering between Sam and Birdie as she struggled to find her voice again. "I. . .yeah, I think so. . ."

Birdie gave her a forced smile and walked over, pulling something out of her pocket. She gently grabbed the handcuff and carefully worked the lock, very aware that Lindsey's eyes were on her as she did so.

Sam walked around to the other side of the bar, stopping in front of the girls. "I'm so sorry Lindsey," he frowned. "I never meant for you to get dragged into this shit."

"Who were those guys? Were they really hunting buddies of yours?" Lindsey wondered. Birdie got the cuffs undone and removed it from Lindsey's wrist. Lindsey offered Birdie a small smile, pulling her arm close to her chest as she rubbed her aching wrist. "Thanks. . ."

"Uh, Birdie, can you wait outside for just a few minutes?" Sam asked, something uncertain looming in his eyes when Birdie caught his gaze.

Birdie stared at him for a few seconds but then she eventually nodded. "Sure." Then she offered Lindsey one last smile and walked towards the hall, slipping out of the back door. She walked across the parking lot, stopping near the van. She opened the back door and sat on the edge, planting her feet on the ground. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone, deciding to check and see it still held a little bit of a charge. She noticed she had a text from an unknown number, making her furrow her brows together as she clicked on it.

Hey Bird. Just texting you so you have my number.

Dad :)

Birdie's thumb hovered over the reply button, debating on whether or not she wanted to respond already.

A door slammed shut and Birdie abruptly looked up, watching Sam make his way toward her. She stood up, slipping her phone into her pocket. Birdie took a couple steps forward, fiddling with her fingers as Sam stopped a few feet in front of her."Where's Lindsey?" Birdie asked.

"Uh, she's still inside. I told her to call the police and report a break in. She's gonna give them Tim and Reggie's descriptions," Sam answered, faintly nodding his head as he spoke. So, those were the names of the men.

Birdie nodded. "Good."

Sam shifted on his feet, thinking as his eyes raked over Birdie's appearance. He didn't know how, but he already knew it was her. It was Birdie. His Birdie.

"Birdie⎯⎯⎯"

"Sam⎯⎯⎯"

Birdie breathed out a quiet laugh, momentarily glancing at the ground after she and Sam spoke at the same time "Sam," Birdie said, wanting to say her piece first, "I. . .I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am."

Sam furrowed his brows together. "For what?"

Birdie nearly mimicked his expression, staring at Sam in confusion. "'W-for everything, Sam. I let Felicity in⎯⎯⎯fuck, I helped her and Ruby with⎯⎯⎯"

"No, Birdie, that wasn't on you⎯⎯⎯"

"Yes it was," Birdie firmly said, feeling her eyes start to become a little misty. "It was, Sam. I should've known that F⎯⎯⎯"

"It's my fault," Sam interrupted, a sad look in his eyes. Birdie's face fell, staring at Sam as her mouth closed. Sam shifted, brows still knitted together. There was a lack of spark in his eyes, something Birdie hadn't noticed until then. A heavy weight was settled on his shoulders, nothing there to lift them up or make it a little easier to handle. It caused Birdie's frown to deepen, realizing that they both blamed themselves for what happened. "All of it's on me, not you, Bird. I was so obsessed with trying to prove that I wasn't what everyone thinks I am. . .that I wasn't a monster⎯⎯⎯"

"Sammy⎯⎯⎯"

"No, Bird, please," Sam said, stepping closer to the woman. "Just let me finish."

"Okay," Birdie softly said with a nod.

"In trying to prove myself, I turned myself into exactly who I didn't wanna be. I dragged you into it⎯⎯⎯fuck, and I just went along with a damn demon using you and thinking she was actually helping us. . .you and Dean were right. I am a monster."

Birdie blinked, her entire expression sinking. Did he really think that she thought that about him? "What? Sam, I don't think you're a monster. I-I have never once thought that⎯⎯⎯not even for a second. Please, tell me you know that, Sam."

Sam peered down at Birdie, hearing Ruby's words echo inside his head. After a few seconds, he sighed. He did know that, and somehow he let himself fall for Ruby's lies once again. "I do. But it doesn't change the fact that it's true. Everything I've done, the people I hurt, and-and starting the apocalypse⎯⎯⎯it's true. And I don't think I can be a hunter anymore, or be around the people I care about the most."

Birdie stepped closer, sniffling as she held Sam's gaze. "You did what you thought was right. Lilith needed to die, and you did that⎯⎯⎯"

"And in doing that I set Lucifer free. I did that."

A heavy silence came over the two, both of them struggling to put their racing thoughts into the right words. Their guilt was gnawing at them, replaying everything they've said and done as reminders to what they caused. So much of it was done with Sam and Birdie being together, and yet they didn't blame the other. They only blamed themselves.

Birdie lifted her hand, wiping at her eyes before any tears could manage to escape. Sam blinked a few times, refusing to let himself completely break down.

After a few moments, Birdie let out a shaky breath and took a few steps closer to Sam. "It's not all on you, Sam," she softly said. Sam let out a sound of disagreement, but Birdie shook her head. "It's not, and I'll keep telling you that until you believe it. But, the only thing we can just do now is try and stop Lucifer."

"You think we can take on the devil?" Sam asked, raising his brows at the younger woman.

Birdie shrugged, offering Sam a timid smile. "The devil has a name and it's Serena, not Lucifer."

Sam managed to crack a small smile at that, thankful Birdie could make him smile despite his entire world crumbling down around him. However, it fell after a few seconds. "Ruby said she-she killed you and Felicity," Sam said. "But I thought only Felicity survived."

"Did she talk to you?" Birdie already knew the answer, however she could actually get more information out of him rather than a stuck up angel.

"Yeah, she-she found me and Dean a couple days ago and explained what happened with Ruby. She said she'd tried to go back for you, but your body was gone. . .we assumed the worst happened. . ."

"She wasn't exactly wrong," Birdie softly said, catching the confusion on Sam's face. "Well, technically I did die."

"Wh-but how⎯⎯⎯"

"It's a. . .long story," Birdie said, fiddling with her fingers. "And I'm not sure if you'll even believe me."

Sam let out a dry chuckle, a hint of amusement in his eyes at last. "After everything we've been through, I don't think there is anything I don't believe is possible."

"Yeah, don't be so sure about that, Samuel."

☽ ༓ ☾

merry christmas/happy holidays!!!!! i know there's not a lot here, but i wanted to post as a present for y'all and so i hope y'all liked it still!!

i'm pretty sure i say this every time i leave a note but im truly sorry for how long it took for me to get this chapter out. i've really been struggling to write some of the later chapters and one was taking me excruciatingly long, but it's finally done!! i haven't done too much writing lately also just bc of how busy life has been, but i'm hoping i can write a bunch more and it not take me as long akdkkffk

as for this chapter, i'm so happy my baby girl and baby boy and back together again!! i know it was kinda short and there wasn't a WHOLE lot here, but there's plenty more to come still!!! and dean will be back very soon as well and the gang will be reunited!! tho, it will be different bc of everything that happened, soooooo. . .

anyways, i hope y'all enjoyed and let me know what y'all thought!!!