"What?" She asked, her eyes narrowed.

"What?" I asked back.

"You were mumbling. I didn't catch what you said." She explained.

I relaxed and laid back down. Was this right? Thinking about a future with Adeline while hoping for one with Ivory. It was a very small part of me but it was there. How many times did you read books or see pictures saying that the best relationship were the ones with your best friend?

I felt a familiar tingling sensation return thinking about the times we argued, flirted and pushed one another around. The fights in economic management sciences and walking each other to the same class no matter how redundant it actually was.

But just as soon as the feeling appeared, it was replaced by the numbness. I realized that even though I enjoyed the time I spent with Ivory during classes and practices, it was the lunch periods with Adeline that made me feel as if the relationship was a solid one.

My body responded to Adeline's. The way she had kissed me and the way I kissed her back. My body igniting, almost taking a mind of its own with her. If I took those lunch periods, that one memory and the pictures away, what would be left?

"I don't know what will happen..." I started. I fumbled with the twigs and dried leaves. "I don't know what questions will be asked. I don't know what my answers will be. I don't even know my feelings. I just know what I feel, right now I mean."

"How do you feel?"

I looked at her and smiled. "I feel...at peace."

I reached for her hand. She reached hers out. I grabbed it in mine and pulled towards me and kissed her, trying to convey my feelings in this moment in this one action. A vibration passed through my veins. What was that? 

A moan.

I know I talk about feelings and etc that makes it seem like I'm experienced but I've never heard a sound so pure before.

I pulled away and I rested my forehead on hers, out of breath. It took me awhile to just open my eyes but when I did I found the stunning sight of Adeline sitting half on my lap, my arms around her waist.

"I get it." She said, her breathing just as eratic as mine.

"Do you?" My voice sounded weird in my ears, deeper. Almost like I haven't drank water my entire life.

"You want to help me. You want to be with me. I know you do." She poked my chest as if she got that information right from my heart. "But you want to be certain I'll ever be open with you. If I'll ever trust you."

She did get it...

She moved off my lap which was all the same but a little disheartening. It made me realize that she didn't know either. She didn't know if she could ever trust me like that.

"I'll see." Is all she said.

I don't know why but I got up as if the bell had ran. I looked at her, looked at the tree I had spent most of lunch periods under. Would I return here?

I had no desire to go back and kick/throw a ball with my so called friends. Ivory was busy deciding and I was just a tad bit afraid of the result . Alexa was out of the question.

"Now, I am truly alone."