9:52 PM

It's currently around 10 at night, and I've spent the past hour and a half just staring at the screen, finding at least something to type to start this author's note. And yet, I have no other words to say but a thank you.

Around a month back, I posted a separate author's note on my profile, but I decided to make another one here mainly because I really wanted to get a message across.

1:17 PM 

Scratch that, I fell asleep after writing that. 

It's 1:17 in the afternoon, and I somehow have an idea of what to tell you guys.

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This story was first posted on tumblr, on a scenario blog and was created about 1-2 years back. I created this whole prompt drabble game where I would give a set of prompts that readers could choose so that I could write something for them.

One of the prompts that sparked this whole series was a quote and a theme. 

Quote #4: "A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous." -Ingrid Bergman

Theme: Ex

The series then somehow came together within one night, and I found myself writing much more than expected for a prompt request. This brings us to the first chapter of No Strings Attached.

Now, what I did not expect at the time was a shit ton of readers and likes and all that jazz. That was mainly because I was just one of those rookie scenario blogs that rarely got readers and likes, because there was just so many of us. But somehow, overnight, the first chapter was read a shit ton of times. 

I woke up the morning after, turned on my phone, and I'm literally at a loss for words because of the amount of notifications I received overnight. There were tons and tons of messages sent into my askbox, pleading for me to write more.

Coming from a writer who's new to the scenario blog world, a writer who doesn't expect much, a writer who writes typical love stories, I was pretty shocked myself.

From then on, all those messages gave me motivation, and I found myself writing the whole series for the whole summer. I managed to finish the series in a matter of three months, and looking back at it now, I still get emotional.

A few months later, I decided to take it to the next level and share my story on wattpad. At the same time, I had low expectations, I did not expect for it to blow up. 

One month after posting the story on wattpad, I checked my notifications to see a small group of readers, and I was proud of that. But I didn't expect it to blow up within a year on wattpad.

It's been a year, and here I am, writing an author's note to give my huge gratitude to every single one of you. I did not expect this story to blow up on tumblr, and I definitely did not expect this story to blow up with almost 19K+ reads (and counting), 300+ comments, and 900+ votes.

I really didn't. And I just wanted to say a huge thank you.

Not only a huge thank you but also words of encouragement. 

To all those new writers out there, don't doubt yourself, keep writing until you feel like you've written a masterpiece. Trust me, it took me a shit ton of times to write No Strings Attached, a shit load of tears, and a shitty amount of coffee. If I could do it, so can you.

Don't give up on writing because one day, someone will find your work truly amazing.

Thank you so much. Thank you for stumbling upon my story whether you've already read it on tumblr when I posted the first chapter or whether you were just searching for a fic and somehow found this. Thank you.

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During the time where the story was still blowing up on tumblr, I got a lot of messages from other lovely girls who were going or have went through what the characters in my story have went through. But funny thing is, whatever I had written in the story was scarily close to my own personal experience with my love life. I would give them advice, some suggestions, and I would even help them out with their love life problems. They would always give me updates - and they still do, they come back every now and then - and I would be more than welcome to talk to them, just like a friend. 

And since I published this story on here, I decided I should tell you guys the background and inspiration behind this story. 

March 1, 1:34 pm.

I came home feeling terrible, almost two hours after attending the Sunday mass. I came home feeling miserable, and extremely confused that I just thought that I needed to talk to someone. I needed to let out all the emotions that I had bubbling up inside me, and the only way I could let them out was through writing. After writing this huge blob of emotions, I shared this with Admin Ktriplet's Maknae because she just knows how to comfort me and understand me, we're like sisters.. and she did just the trick.

It's almost two years after I've written this, and after writing No Strings Attached, I spent all day trying to find this through my trash folder. After one click of the restore button, I managed to get a hold of it. The reason why I tried looking for this was that since I was writing this series and a lovely girl messaged me about her love life, I thought it would be appropriate to share it with you guys.

What's pretty cool and funny is that, what I wrote is shockingly and scarily close to the plot of No Strings Attached. It's pretty mindblowing, and I'm mindblown after coming across it.

So, on March 1, at 1:34 pm, I opened up my laptop and opened a blank document, and I wrote this.

INSPIRATION OF NO STRINGS ATTACHED

Make him regret.

It's the only thing that always seem to run through my head whenever I see him. It's been two years. Two years of regret and hatred that was pumping through my blood. The way he shut me out in a matter of 140 characters in a text message always haunts me. Even now.

And I think it got the best of me.

It's been two years. Two years of trying to forget and forgive him, because being selfish isn't the right way to fixing everything. Fixing my broken heart. Yes, I've been hurt really badly because of him, but there's always a time to forgive, right? Who knew that a text could make a person tear up, feel like they're crumbling into pieces, their heart throbbing and shattering like glass.

I want him to regret, but that isn't easy. You don't get everything in this cruel world. He looks like he's doing much more fine without me, and it hurts. When I'm supposed to be thinking of what's best for me, I keep going back to the memories that had happened between the two of us. Memories of walking together, spending time together, understanding each other.

I miss it.

And I miss him.

And just in a matter of an hour, I find myself slowly falling back into the right place. The only thing that's missing is a little spot in my heart, searching for an answer. Sometimes I wonder, did he ever like me at all? Did those times together mean nothing to him? And even more important than that, was two years worth of moving on all going to waste?

In the end, I feel like I have been defeated. The memories washed over my anger, and all I could think about is running back to him when I shouldn't. Then I think again. These two years worth of trying to forget and move on was a waste of time. Two years of trying to avoid eye contact, even the slightest touch, was all nothing.

You can't just let me try to move on for two years and take it all back. I want it back. I want my innocent heart back. I want the memories of being with you, to happen again.

One hour.

It only took one hour, of finally seeing what was going on. But it took two years to move on, and I failed completely. It only took one hour to finally lay eyes on him again, the feeling of sadness and love beginning to spark within me.

And this is what I hate about myself. I deserve better, I know. But I always seem to keep going back to someone who treated me badly because I know that he'll change someday. That maybe someday he'll return those feelings that I've always wanted to hear him say.

I hate that I've tried my best to move on for two years, and in the end, here I am, running back to him. And it all just happened in one hour, at church. Was God testing me?

In one hour, I find myself loosening up, my gaze softening whenever I looked at him. That little feeling in your heart, the butterflies in your stomach, all those feelings came back in just one hour. Weird how I tried to get rid of these feelings for two years.

And in one hour, I realized..

That maybe, just maybe, I'm still in love with him.

Or at least I think I am.

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Now that I've put that there for all of you guys to see, I'll be more than willing to talk to you if you're going through the same situation as the characters in my story. I'll be more than willing to talk to you, give you some advice, and go through this together because I've been there, and I'm still going through the phase of renewal.

Thank you so much guys.

Thank you.

And I love you.

-alex