"Have a good day dear!" Reagan's mother called as she opened the door.
"See ya, mom," she muttered, pulling the door shut tight behind her.
As Reagan's boots crunched on the snowy sidewalk her breath billowed through the wind, wisps of warmth that escaped her. The cold air soothed her tongue and throat from the stifling heat of the kitchen, where her mother was baking pies for the holidays.
Unlike most people, Reagan never enjoyed Christmas, or December in general. She didn't like seeing distant relatives, nor did she like the festive colors and endless food. At Christmas dinner, she just wanted a nice salad, and to eat alone in her room or even the park. She just wanted to stay away from the people and the noise. Reagan, being the loner she was, didn't like when too many people felt attached to her, especially when it wasn't mutual. Then she'd feel guilty for pushing them away and sulk in her room for days.
So she always stayed out of the house on Christmas. To the park, or a bookstore that was open through every holiday. She went to Walmart once, bought tons of candy, and pigged out in the cafe while reading a novel. Sometimes she'd go to a pizza place and sit in a corner booth by herself, alone with her sketchbook and a medium pizza she wouldn't be able to finish.
One Christmas, however, that changed.
Reagan decided that this year, she'd lock herself in her room.
She'd been feeling down lately and hadn't the heart to go out, but didn't want to face her raging relatives. Insisting she was sick, Reagan managed to convince her mother to let her stay tucked away for the day.
She slept for a few hours, then she cried, then she stared at the ceiling before falling asleep again. The cycle repeated, until eventually her parents had gone to bed and the sun had set. Tears dripped off Reagan's chin as she stumbled to the bathroom, squinting as the blinding light seared her eyes. She fumbled through the cabinets, searching for ibuprofen to calm her pounding headache. After finding the right bottle, she twisted the cap open and swallowed a few pills before heading back to bed.
And in the morning, her pain was gone, but she didn't wake up.