2016

This was a massive mistake.

Approximately five hours later I was already regretting my decision . . . and I hadn't even seen Iona yet. Sipping my wine, I nervously watched the living room door.

I'd called my mum when I stopped for petrol halfway to Glasgow, realising me turning up out of the blue without any warning would probably seem weird. I'd used the excuse that I had some paperwork I needed to pick up. Luckily between leaving Manchester and moving up to the hotel, my mum had agreed to store a lot of my belongings as I wasn't sure how much space I had, so this seemed believable. Thankfully she didn't ask me too many questions; I think she was just glad I was coming home.

When I finally reached the house, she was just heading over to Marie's. "Come over when you're sorted," she told me. "Marie is excited to see you."

Oh god. Now the reality was hitting that Iona might actually be inside that house right now. I was starting to feel a bit sick.

I didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed when her mum said she was out to dinner. But there was no doubt in my mind that I was horrified when I discovered the plan both our mums had been cooking up in the meantime.

They thought Iona should come and work for me! That she should be Alice's replacement.

What the actual fuck were they thinking?

And yet, I could understand their reasoning. Iona had been made redundant recently, they'd told me, and was just moving from temp to temp job at the moment. Plus I knew she had plenty of experience working in hotels, a hotel management degree, and even the office job she'd been working in prior to the redundancy had been for a hotel brand.

If it wasn't for our chequered history, she would have been the perfect solution to my recruitment problem.

But, although both mums were browbeating me into this, I was fairly certain she'd say no.

Which was the only reason I agreed to offer her the role.

Now I just had to face her again and get this over with.

A key turned in the lock suddenly and I jumped as if I'd been shot. Some wine splashed over the edge of my glass and I hoped no one noticed. "Is that you, Iona?" Marie called. "Can you come through?"

Oh god. This was it. I was going to see Iona Stewart for the first time since 2008. I was going to speak to her for the first time since 1999.

My palms were sweaty, my heart racing. I wished I had time to compose myself, check a mirror to make sure I looked okay.

And there she was, in the flesh. Her hair still dyed blonde, but curly again like when I saw her for the first time. She looked tired, cynical. Bored. And a little sad. I recognised these emotions instantly as it was the same way I'd been feeling for too long now.

However, she was also still utterly beautiful and completely perfect, and the love I'd always harboured for her rushed back like a burst dam. Let's face it, it had never really went away. The dam may as well have even held back by some dubious duct tape. It had been leaking for years.

I finally registered the words she'd just said. "I've just been on the date from hell,"

So she was single?

Hope sparked in my heart and I willed my mind to snuff out that tiny flame.

I couldn't stop staring at her, although it seemed to take her a moment to realise I was there. She started to choke on whatever she had been eating. I wondered in a panic if I needed to rush across the room and give her the Heimlich manoeuvre. I supposed it would be a hug of sorts.

Marie, apparently oblivious to Iona's medical emergency, said "look who's here!" She gestured across at me as if she'd just conjured me out of the air.

In that few seconds, Iona apparently managed to swallow and compose herself. "Hi Ryan. It's been a while."

That's all I was getting? After all this time? "It's been a while"?

Okay, so it was clear she'd had no desire to see me again! I felt like such an idiot for coming back here in the first place. What had I actually thought was going to happen? That she'd declare her undying love for me? Fall at my feet, begging forgiveness for ghosting me?

Ryan Thorne, you are the world's biggest eejit.

"Iona," I nodded. My smile was as forced as hers had been. "Nice to see you."

Marie made her join us but I could sense her reluctance. Iona shrugged off her coat, revealing a pretty black dress as well as the curves I had always loved. I looked away quickly, my pulse speeding up rapidly.

Would I ever stop feeling this way about her? It didn't seem possible.

Our mums both started to talk, practically chatting over one another in their excitement, and I chanced another glance at her. Unfortunately she was already doing the same, so our gazes locked momentarily. I could see confusion in the dark brown depths of her beautiful eyes. And embarrassment. She flushed and looked down into her wine glass. She was probably hoping it was some sort of portal she could escape through. I knew the feeling.

And then our mums launched into the heavy sell on the assistant manager job.

"Well, think about it!" Marie urged Iona. "Your degree is related. You have tons of experience working in hotels. You'll get free board so you'll save some money."

"And of course you and Ryan are old friends," my mum broke in."So you'll already know someone there!"

My mum had no idea we hadn't spoken for years. I mean, she obviously knew we weren't close anymore, but I think she just believed we had drifted apart. (I also had a theory that, once upon a time, she might have been hoping for Iona as a daughter-in-law but that was obviously irrelevant now.)

"We need more wine," Marie said. "And maybe some cheese?"

"I'll help." My mum jumped to her feet. "Ryan can tell Iona some more about the job while we do that."

A thick silence fell immediately when we were left alone. Just do it, I told myself. Offer her the job, she'll say no and you'll never have to see her again. Then maybe you can finally move on now you can see for sure she never gave a crap about you.

Summoning all my courage, and forcing myself to play it cool, I stood and walked towards her. "The job is yours if you want it," I said. "It's sort of an assistant manager role, basically working under me and making sure everything is kept ticking over. . . Not that there's many staff to manage."

Fuck, did I have to say "working under me"? This girl was messing with my brain once again, within mere minutes of being back in my life. I was no longer used to this loss of control. It freaked me out.

Hoping I wasn't blushing, I steeled myself to continue, explaining a bit more detail about the situation. I swallowed hard before I finally threw my gauntlet down. I was pulling out the big guns and I hoped this would convince her completely to say no.

"I need someone I can rely on. I don't want to take a person on who just decides it's too much hassle a few days or weeks in and just . . . Ghosts me." I don't think I could hide the bitterness in my tone. It was obvious I wasn't just talking about the job.

I had her. I could see the uncertainty swimming in her brown irises. There was no way she'd say yes now, even though I knew it was probably her dream job.

Marie and my mum had just walked back into the room and were looking at us expectantly.

"I'll take the job," Iona said, nodding.

What the fuck??? I never thought she say yes, not in a million years.

"You can rely on me," she added.

I turned and walked back to my chair, unable to stop mumbling "I bloody well hope so" under my breath. I'm pretty sure she heard me. And I wanted her to.

Great, I thought to myself. Now I'm going to have to work with the girl I'm still in love with . . . The girl that's so unaffected by me that she can take a job with me just to advance her career. While I'm going to struggle, and fail, to control the feelings I still have for her.

And if I hadn't made that impulsive decision to jump in the car earlier that afternoon, just on the off-chance I might see her, this would never have happened.

Well, now I was going to have to see her . . . every fucking day.

And I could only blame myself.

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