You can never take the love back you have for someone.

I gave a cold look over to the director, who looked over at me anxiously. I didn't really want to be a part of this reality show, having cameras follow me around during my day to day life. But Trinity personally asked me to join the show. How could I turn her down?

It was a new concept for Total Divas: an spin off of Total Divas like Total Bella and Miz & Mrs, a reality show called Total Fatu to air on the E! Network. For the next several months, a crew would be following me and several other Anoai family members in the WWE around, filming our private lives.

I sat in a chair as the director explained what he wanted: to film an intro for the first episode. I sighed,  fixing my lipstick.

"Whenever you're ready." He told me.

I gave him a half smile before nodding. The green light lit up on the camera, filming had started.

"Hi, I'm Tammy. But you know me better in the WWE as Vixen." I introduced myself. "I was a WWE Superstar for about six years. I've been wrestling for a little over ten years. That makes me a veteran but I've gone down several new career paths such as modeling, acting, designing, and singing."

"Tell us some more personal information." The director encouraged.

"Josh and Jon are my older brothers and Meghan is my younger sister." I said.

"And what is your relationship like with The Usos?" I was asked.

"It's okay I mean we don't have the typical siblings relationship but we're good." I said.

"Awesome. Thanks, Tammy." The director said, excusing me.

I had a feeling that I would regret signing up for this stupid show.

I tried my best to ignore the camera guy that followed me out of the room.

"Tammy!" Nicole screamed running towards me.

I laughed and opened my arms and she jumped into them.

"Hi, Nicole." I said hugging her.

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"How's the music coming?" Nicole asked.

"Great, I'm actually finishing up the album." I answered.

"Does it have a name?" Nicole asked.

"Fate." I answered.

"When is it coming out? When do I get to hear it?" Nicole asked.

"September 17 and I'm having a listening party a week before." I replied.

"You know I'll be there." She said.

"You better." I said.

---

One Week Later

We were back in L.A., which means its back to work for me. I stood in the elevator, on my way to Ryan Seacrest’s radio show. I needed to do some interviews this week so I can get the word out about my album, which is set to drop in just a couple months. The doors slid open and I stepped out of the elevator before heading down the narrow hallway. I had been here a couple times before but it’s been a while. I was in a good mood today, I had been for the past week. Things with the album were going well. Everything was on track, exactly the way it needed to be, Spoons, my bodyguard who was walking in front of me, opened the door and stepped into the room where Ryan records the show. Chubbs, my bodyguard trailed behind us. Sometimes it was still weird having so much security around all the time. It kinda freaks me out that it’s not even safe for me to walk down a hallway by myself anymore. I stepped into the studio and Ryan immediately walked over to me.

“Tammy, good to see you,” He said as he extended his hand. I shook it firmly.

“What’s up man,” I asked as I sat down. Ryan Seacrest was a pretty cool dude, we didn’t hang out or anything like that, but he was always a nice guy to be around. An assistant handed me a pair of headphones and I put them on quickly. Someone counted down from five before intro music filled my ears.

“Good morning Los Angeles and welcome to On Air with me, Ryan Seacrest. Today we have a very special guest, someone we always enjoy having in our studio. Tammy Rivera is here ladies and gentlemen. Tammy, how are you doing,” Ryan asked. I leaned closer to the microphone and rested my weight on my elbows.

“I’m good man. Working hard, you know how it is,” I said. I noticed how deep my voice sounded. It was still pretty early in the morning.

“So I hear you have a new album coming out soon? Tell us a little bit about that,” He said. I paused for a second before I spoke.

“Well it’s called Fate and it’s coming out on September 17th. It’s just the next chapter in the story. It’s songs about what’s going on in my life right now. It’s a peek into my private life,” I explained. Ryan nodded as if the listeners could see him.

“Your personal life is notoriously private but I feel like your music really kind of gives the fans a look into your real life. You seem to be pretty honest in your lyrics,” He said. I scratched the back of my neck.

“Yeah most of the songs I write are based on my real life. I don’t know how to write about anyone else’s life but my own,” I said as I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. Whoever it was would have to wait.

“Well I know we’re all really excited about it. Tammy, I know you have places to be so we’ll let you get on your way. Thanks for being here today,” Ryan said as he adjusted his microphone. I smiled.

“Anytime. Thanks for having me,” I said as I reached in my pocket for my iPhone and fished it out.

“Right now we’re gonna play one of the hottest songs of the year and the first single off Tammy’s upcoming album, All These Kisses,” Ryan said before he pressed a button and took his headphones off. We both stood up and he reached out for my hand again. I shook it quickly.

“Thanks for coming by. Try not to make us wait so long between visits next time,” He said jokingly. I chuckled as I turned towards the door.

“I’ll try my best,” I said as I headed for the door and unlocked my phone. I saw that I had a missed call from Brock, it must have been him who called me when we were on the air. I pressed the green button next to his name and brought the phone to my ear.

“Hey baby. What are you up to,” He asked when he answered. The sound of his voice made me smile. It always did.

“Nothing, just got out of that interview with Ryan Seacrest. I’m supposed to be doing this meet and greet with Nicole and Brie while they're in town.” I said as I got back in the elevator.

“Yeah, that sounds good,” He said. I smiled again as I walked towards the car.

“Alright, I’ll see you in a few. I love you.” I said. I got into the backseat of the car and Chubbs closed the door behind me.

“I love you too Tammy,” He said before he ended the call. I leaned back into the seat and sighed deeply.