Chapter 8

"Ayaw kong lumabas Ian. Why don't we just hang out here?" Nakahiga ako sa kama at tamad na tamad bumangon habang si Ian ay nakasandal sa gilid ng doorway at nakatingin sa akin. Actually, kanina pa siya nasa bahay ko at naghihintay sa living room. Napagod na ata kakahintay kaya pinasok na ako sa kwarto. We have a plan of going out but I bailed out the moment he arrived. I am not in the mood to go out, I just want to lie down on my bed the whole day.

"We cannot hang out here. Alam mo yun. Napag usapan na natin kung bakit." I rolled my eyes while I covered myself with my blanket up to my chin. Yeah right, simula nung nangyari last time, yung tungkol sa usapang orgasm, nag decide na siya na hindi na kami maghahang out sa condo ko. Pinapahirapan ko lang daw siya. Kaya tuwing magdedate kami, sa labas kami palagi. Kapag hinahatid niya ako from school, hindi siya nagtatagal. Minsan, hindi na nga siya lumalabas ng kotse.

"I don't know why you're so worried about us doing it. You know that I would willingly give it to you."

"That's the exact reason why we can't be together alone in a private place Jee. I don't know how long can I hold on to my control. I'm this close." Pinakita pa niya sa akin kung gaano na lang kaiksi ang pagtitimpi niya. I wanted to laugh out loud but I suppressed my laugh.

"Come here, babe." He gave me a warning look and I wasn't able to hide my smile. Ohhh...so cute.

"C'mon Ian, I won't be seducing you today. This is the time of the month." I groaned when I felt the pain in my abdomen.

"Ohh..I see." Naglakad na siya palapit sa akin at naupo sa kama ko.

"Are you okay? May kailangan ka ba?" He comb my hair with his hand. I almost rolled my eyes at him. Pero hindi ko maikakaila ang masarap na feeling na andito siya sa tabi ko at nag aalala para sa akin. Ian is too good to be true that I feel like what we have is not real. Minsan naisip ko, may mga lalaki pa bang katulad niya? It's like he came directly from a romance novel. He's the kind of guy that every girl wanted to have. Handsome, romantic, caring, understanding and with an unquestionable virtue, Iilan na lang ba ang mga lalaking tatanggi sa sex kapag ino-offer sa kanila? Other guys would grab at the opportunity of getting laid, without a second thought, in just a blink of an eye. He is too ideal but who am I to complain? Magrereklamo pa ba ako kung masaya naman ako kapag kasama ko siya?

Pero minsan inaamin ko na natatakot ako. Sa halos dalawang buwan na relasyon namin, nararamdaman ko ang pagbabago sa sarili ko. I can feel myself relying too much on Ian. Kapag may lakad ako, parang hindi ako mapakali kapag hindi ko sinabi sa kanya kung saan ako pupunta. Kahit paggogrocery, kailangan ko pang sabihin sa kanya. Am I becoming too clingy and too dependent on Ian?Ayaw ko nang ganun. I am an independent person and I would like to keep that independence.

"Babe, may menstruation lang ako, wala akong sakit. Stop fussing over me."

"Pero may masakit sa'yo." I can see the concern in his eyes and it makes me wanna jump into him and hug him tight. What a sweet guy.

"Yes but this will eventually stop. Nakainom na ako ng gamot. Tinatamad lang talaga akong bumangon at gusto ko na lang matulog."

"Do you want to eat something? Some chowder, perhaps? I can cook for you."

"Ian... I am fine. Wala ka bang gagawin sa inyo? Aren't you going to the office? Don't you have any paperworks?" Kahit kasi hindi pa siya graduate, tumutulong na siya sa company nila. That's one of the things I admire about Ian. He's very responsible and I never heard him complain about his responsibilities.

"Pinapalayas mo na ako?" Napangiti ako sa expression ng mukha niya. Why, he is so adorable!

"No...don't get me wrong. I love having you here. Pero ano ang gagawin mo dito kung matutulog lang ako? You'll get bored, babe."

"I can surf the net while you're sleeping. Babantayan na lang kita." Napabuntonghininga na lang ako kasi mukhang hindi naman ako mananalo sa usapan namin.

"Okay fine." Nakita kong ngumiti siya at lumapit sa desk ko kung saan nakalagay ang laptop.

"Would you mind if I bring this outside?"

"Go ahead." Nagtalukbong na ako ng kumot at hinayaan na lang siya. Narinig ko pa ang pagbukas at ang pagsara ng pinto ng kwarto ko. Napalingon ako sa nagsarang pinto at pinikit ang mga mata ko. I tried to sleep but somehow sleep had totally deserted me. I groaned and pulled my hair in frustration. Fuck it! I threw my blanket and stood up from my bed.

"Darn it! Darn it!" panay ang mura ko habang papasok ng banyo kahit na habang naliligo ko.

"Why? What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I let him down?" Isinuot ko na ang itim kong pantalon at itim din na sando. Nagsuot na din ako ng white jacket dahil alam ko na kapag hindi ako nagsuot ng jacket, hindi pa kami nakakalabas ng condo ko, suot ko na ang jacket niya. I dab a little powder and a lip gloss. I didn't even blow dry my hair and just combed it hastily after I dry it with a towel.

I stashed some cash in my pocket and grab my phone from the dresser then I went out of my bedroom. Napatingin siya sa akin pagkalabas ko.

"I thought you're..."

"You really think I can sleep knowing that you're just here killing yourself to boredom? Let's go!" Lumapit ako sa kanya at ako na mismo ang nagpatay ng laptop tapos hinatak ko na siya palabas ng condo ko.

"Seriously Jihann, I'm fine having your laptop as my company." I rolled my eyes at him.

"Well, I'm not fine with the idea that my boyfriend is having fun with my laptop while I'm in my bed feigning sleep. C'mon." Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya at lumabas na kami ng elevator papuntang parking. His car is parked at my parking slot since I don't have a car. Dapat ata sinisingil ko siya ng parking fee.

"Where to, Ma'am?" He asked the moment we're out of the parking.

"Mall, Sir." Nakangiting sabi ko at nakita kong tumaas ang kilay niya pero hindi na siya nagsalita.

"Ian, I think I wont be taking Stats this sem."

"Why?"

"Because it's boring. It's not even relevant to the course that I am taking. You see, I think the school is just ripping us off our money by offering subjects that are not really necessary. It's making me sick."

"I thought you like boring." Napatingin ako sa kanya habang seryoso siyang nagdadrive.

"The only boring that I like is you." I saw how his smile widened and I laugh out loud.

"Darn! Here I am, boosting the ego of the lad. Don't I get a reward for that ego boost Ian?" Ngingiti ngiting sabi ko sa kanya.

"Lad?" Lalong lumaki ang ngiti ko dahil sa naging reaksiyon niya.

"Yes, you are." I fight the urge to laugh at his expression. How I love teasing him. Lalo na kapag namumula na ang mukha niya.

"I see." Napatingin ako bigla sa kanya dahil sa sinabi niya. What? Yun lang ang sasabihin niya? He won't even try to correct me? No cocky remarks to prove his masculinity?

Nakatingin lang ako sa kanya habang nagdadrive siya at nakita ko ang dahan dahan niyang pagngiti.

"You're up to something." Akusa ko sa kanya. Nakakapagduda ang ngiti niya.

"What?"

"You're wearing that creepy smile and I just know you're up to something. What is it Ian?" His smile widened when he glance at me.

"Nothing. Masama ba ang ngumiti. I'm smiling because I'm happy that we're together." He winked before he parked his car on the parking slot of the mall.

"Don't me, Ian. Don't me." Napahalakhak siya sa sinabi ko at ginulo ang buhok ko bago niya binuksan ang pinto ng kotse.

Lumabas na ako nung lumabas na siya ng kotse. Hindi uso sa akin ang pinagbubuksan ng kotse pinto ng kotse. Noong una pinipilit pa niyang ipagbukas ako ng pinto ng kotse everytime na sasakay o bababa ako ng sasakyan. Later, I told him that it's a total waste of time when I could do it myself.

"Ian!"

"Wala Jee. Let's go." He guided me to the entrance of the mall and just like other girls; I've forgotten everything when I saw a line of boutiques in front of me. I went from shop to shop looking for a specific pair of running shoes.

Naglalakad kami sa mall papunta sa ibang shop nung may napansin ako at nasundan pa ng isang couple na nauna sa amin papasok sa isang sport shop. Lumapit ako kay Ian at bumulong sa kanya.

"Ian, why are we not doing that?" Napatingin ako sa kanya bigla at napatingin din sa nakasabayan naming couple na kung hindi nakaakbay ang lalaki ay magkaholding hands naman. Kami, magkasabay lang na naglalakad at kung minsan kapag masikip nararamdaman kong inaalalayan niya ako pero hindi na lalagpas pa doon.

"Oh...that. Judging by the manner of your shopping, I believe we're not here for a leisurely walk that would merit such act. Besides, I find it hard keeping up with you skipping from shop to shop." Nakaupo siya sa bench sa loob ng shop. The poor guy is tired.

"Ohh..." Hindi ko na natapos ang sasabihin ko dahil may lumapit na salesperson at kinausap na ako tungkol sa hinahanap kong sapatos.

"No...that's neutral and that's not good for my sole. I want the one with more stability..." nagtagal kami saglit sa shop na yun bago ako nakabili ng sapatos.

"What?" Nakatayo siya sa escalator 2 steps ahead of me habang nakangiti sa akin.

"Ilang shops ang napasukan natin?"

"I didn't really count. Why?"

"Sa dami ng shops na napasukan natin, isa lang ang nabili mo?" Napatingin siya sa hawak niyang paperbag na may lamang running shoes.

"You expect me to go on binge shopping?" Nakataas ang kilay ko habang nakatingin sa kanya. Men...sa tingin nila, pare-parehas ang mga babae pagdating sa shopping.

"Yes."

"You're mistaken. C'mon babe, let's have dinner. My treat." Dinala ko siya sa isang pizza parlor at saglit pa kaming nagtalo kung sino ang magbabayad pero sa huli pumayag siyang ako ang magbayad nung kinuwenta ko sa kanya kung magkano ang natipid ko sa pagbili ng sapatos. Umuwi na kami after namin magdinner.

"Thanks for the dinner babe. Sana hindi na maulit." Napatawa ako sa sinabi niya. Obviously, he's not cool about the idea of me paying for our dinner. IO sat on the sofa and kicked on my sneakers. God! That was tiring.

"C'mon Ian, don't be mad about it. You're always paying for our dinner and I don't complain, didn't I? Masarap pala sa feeling ang minsan gumastos para sa boyfriend, let's do it again some other time." I said enthusiastically at lalong nangunot ang noo niya. Lalo akong tumawa habang minamasahe ang calves kong sumasakit.

"Jee, you're seriously hurting my ego." I looked up and smiled at him sweetly. Dahan dahan akong tumayo at lumapit sa kanya. Ikinawit ko ang mga braso ko sa balikat niya at tumingala.

"Okay Ian...next time.... We'll talk about it next time." Nilapit ko pa ang katawan ko sa kanya.

"Ang tigas ng ulo mo." Lalo akong napangiti.

"Maybe, if you'll kiss me, I'll change my mind." Nakita ko siyang ngumiti bago niya hinawakan ang magkabilang pisngi at hinalikan ako. My eyes automatically close the moment our lips touched. I don't really know how to describe it. Should I start with the warmth of his lips on mine or the sweetness of his lips that made me crave for more?

It really baffles me how could kisses be so different? Kiss lang naman lahat yun. It could either be torrid, french, a peck, or a smack. Bakit iba iba ang epekto? Lately I realized, hindi ang halik ang may kakaiba. It's the emotion that triggers the kiss. Iyon ang dahilan kung bakit iba iba ang epekto ng halik.

With Ian's kisses, I felt a different kind of emotion. A kind that I haven't felt before with the kisses I've shared with the other guys. His kiss awakens a deeper kind of emotion within me, a deeper kind of connection between us. How do I describe it? Parang hinahalukay ang buong kaluluwa ko, parang kinuryente ang buong katawan ko at nabuhay ang lahat ng natutulog at tamad na neurons sa katawan ko at nagfocus sa particular na bahagi ng katawan namin na magkalapat, which is our lips. I would have freak out with the intensity of the kiss he's giving me if it were not devastatingly enjoyable. So enjoyable that I haven't noticed that I was already lying on the sofa and he's hovering above me.

What the hell happened? Nagteleport ba kami at hindi ko man lang napansin na nasa sofa na kami. We were standing a while ago!

"Ian..." I gasped when his lips lowered from my lips to my jawline tracing little kisses that gave me delicious sensations. Oh God! This is the most intense make out we've ever done. He never goes beyond kissing.

Nararamdaman ko ang pag iinit ng katawan ko. I feel like I'm on fever, a delicious kind of fever. Napahigpit ang yakap ko sa kanya nung maramdaman ko ang kamay niya sa ilalim ng sando ko making it's way up to my breast. I felt my anticipation building up. I wanted to feel his hand on my flesh. I wanted to know how good and warm it is on my bare flesh.

My breathing hitched when I felt his lips on my neck, kissing and breathing in me at the same time and then his hand cupped my breast with my bra still on.

Oh shit! That was so good. I nearly moaned out loud but then I felt him go still. He stopped kissing me and his hand stopped on top of my bra.

Napadilat ako at napatingin sa kanya.

He's looking at the wall in front of him. Napatingin din ako sa wall at wala naman akong nakita maliban sa wall clock. Nagtatakang napatingin ako sa kanya.

"What's wrong Ian?"

"It's already 10PM." Tuluyan na siyang umalis sa pagkakadagan sa akin at umupo sa tabi ko. Napaupo na din ako sa sofa at hindi ko alam kung ano ang itsura ko. Hindi ko alam ang ire-react dahil obviously, hindi ko alam kung ano ang nangyayari? Why did he suddenly stop?

"So?" Hindi ko napigilan ang iritasyon sa boses ko.

"I need to go home. My curfew is at 10." Napanganga ako. Curfew? Since when did he have a curfew? He never have curfew.

"Seriously, Ian?"

"Sorry babe, baka mapagalitan ako ni Daddy. You know, Lads, like me still have a curfew. Too young to stay out late." He stood up leaving me gaping at the sofa. What the hell!

"You're not freaking serious. You don't have a curfew. You used to stay here even past midnight. It's only 10PM for Christ's sake!"

"Babe, dapat may curfew ang mga bata." Yumuko siya at hinalikan ako sa noo. Hindi ako agad nakareact. Anong bata ang pinagsasabi niya? Kailan pa siya naging bata?

"What are you saying? You're no longer a kid! You're already 20 years old!" I shouted at him when something suddenly dawned on me. He's been planning it.

"You...you...ginagantihan mo ako eh!" A smile played on his lips which he tried to suppress but it's too late. I've already noticed it.

"Bye babe." Kinurot niya ang ilong ko bago naglakad papunta sa pinto ng condo ko.

"Ian! Come back here!" Lumingon siya sa akin na nakangiti at nakalagay sa bulsa ang isang kamay.

"Gumising ka ng maaga bukas. Sabay na tayong mag enroll. You will be taking stats, babe. I'll make sure of it." He even has the nerve to wink at me before he went out of my condo.

"I hate you! Don't come back!" I shouted even after he closed the door.