Chapter 11

Habang tumatagal, mas lalo akong naiinis sa sarili ko. The pep talk with myself is not working at all and everytime I realized that all those effort, all those uplifting words I've been telling myself are all in vain I just wanna hang myself to death. It has been what? A week? A week since Ian and I have our last talk or rather fight and here I am wondering why I am still expecting him to call or text. This is so not me. Kelan ba ako umasa at nag expect ng tawag ng isang lalaki pagkatapos ng break up? No...hindi ako kelan man nag expect na makipagbalikan pa sa akin ang mga lalaking hiniwalayan ko na. For me, they're just a phase in my life, they come and go and once they they left, there's no way that I'll have them back in my life. But I can't lie to myself. I must admit that I've expected him to at least call or whatsoever, but no. I've never heard anything from him eversince. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko dahil nag iisip ako ng ganun, naiinis ako kasi pakiramdam ko nagkaroon na ng kulang ang buhay ko. For me, that is bullshit. Why would I feel incomplete with Ian's absence in my life?

I frown at myself in the mirror and forced myself to stop thinking.

Just stop thinking Jeehan because you always end up overthinking things. Fix yourself and be ready for school. You might have the chance to see him. After all, you have a class together.

"Darn it! Damn that man to hell!" Tinapon ko ang brush na hawak ko sa dresser at nagmamadaling kinuha ang bag ko at nagmamadaling lumabas ng condo.

Lalong nadagdagan ang init ng ulo ko pagkababa ko ng condo dahil wala akong masakyan na taxi. Kung andito lang si Ian, hindi ako maghihintay ng taxi, I wouldn't be stuck here in front of my condo hailing for the damn cab!

Napatigil ako sa naisip ko. I was suddenly alarmed by the thought. Masyado na ba akong naging dependent sa kanya? Of course not! I was just merely thinking of the benefits of having him. Hindi ibig sabihin na kung wala siya ay hindi ko na kayang sumakay papuntang school. Hindi lang naman siya ang may kotse!

Yes! Madami ang may kotse. May taxi, may grab at may uber! With that thought, I immediately took my phone from my bag and open the app. Pumasok na din ako sa lobby ng condo at naghintay ng car. After a few minutes, the car arrived.

The driver is friendly and the car is kinda nice. Although hindi katulad ng SUV ni Ian ang sasakyan pero it was cozy and comfortable enough. He even offered na siya na ang maghahatid sa akin palagi sa school para hindi na ako mahirapang kumuha ng taxi o sasakyan. Pumayag naman ako kasi walang rason para tanggihan ko siya. Tatanggi pa ba ako kung may service na ako araw araw at hindi na ako mahihirapang kumuha ng taxi kahit na medyo mahal ang bayad? Gusto ko nga sana pati sa uwian pero yun nga lang hind niya magagawa sa uwian kasi nagmamasteral daw siya.

"O Steve, selfie tayo para malaman ng friends ko kung sino ang naghahatid sa akin para in case may plano kang masama sa akin, alam nila kung sino ang huhuntingin." He laughed but obliged at the selfie. I immediately posted the selfie in my instagram.

'Thanks for the cozy ride Steve. Next time ulit'

My day went smoothly the whole morning and I ignore the growing hope in my heart at the anticipation of seeing Ian during our class.

What if I ditch the class? After all, first day pa lang naman. Surely, the prof wouldn't check our attendance. I have this feeling that seeing him would only ruin my day.

"Baka nga break na sila. Have you seen her insta post? What a flirt di ba?" I heard the girls talking from the other table. I ignored them and continued eating my food. Napatingin ako sa phone ko nung marinig kong tumunog.

I have a notification in instagram.

Ash_babe: Who's this hottie, dude?

Napangiti ako sa comment ni Ashley at napatingin sa selfie namin ni Steve. Hmm...he's kind of goodlooking, in an average kind of godlooking but definitely not a hottie.

Jee_hon: My new driver, dude.

I was about put down my phone when Ashley sent me a private message through messenger.

Ash_babe: Already? You already have a new guy after a week? You're fast.

I grinned at her message. Yeah, alam niya ang nangyari sa amin ni Ian. Sa kanya ko binuhos ang inis at frustration ko these past days.

Jee_hon: Chill dude! He's a driver in a literal sense. I am paying for him to drive me from my condo to school since I no longer have a ride. It's convenient that way.

Ash_babe: Ohhh...I see. Your guy didn't talk to you yet?

Jee_hon: We're done Ash and he's not my guy!

Jee_hon: No longer MY guy.

Ash_babe: Jihann, who the fuck is Celine and why the fuck did she call you a flirt!!!?

Napakunot ang noo ko sa message ni Ashley. Celine? Wala akong kilalang Celine.

Ash_babe: Check your insta post, ASAP.

I closed the messenger and opened my instagram. Nagulat din ako nung makita ko ang post ng certain Celine.

Celine: Flirt

Celine: Hindi makuntento sa isang lalaki. Poor Ian.

Hindi lang yan, dina pa niya sa twitter ang comment niya, nag tag ng iba and she even have the nerve to tag me!

Ramdam na ramdam ko ang pag iinit ng buong mukha ko dahil sa galit. Who the fuck is this girl? Who give her the right to call me flirt? I am fuming mad. Kung kaharap ko lang ang babaeng nagpost sa instagram ko, baka nabugbog ko na siya.

Nag usap pa kami ni Ashley at pinigilan ko siyang magreply kay Celine whoever kasi kung gagawin niya yun makikisabay ang ibang mga kaibigan namin at makikisawsaw ang mga kasamahan kong cheerleaders sa previous school ko. The confrontation would be ugly.

Pumasok ako sa next class ko, ignoring the tweets pero bago matapos ang class ko tinatadtad na ako ng messages ni Ashley. Doon ko nalaman na hindi na niya napigilan ang sarili niya at sinagot na ang mga tweets ni Celine and company. Yes, may iba pang nakisawsaw at doon ko nalaman na may fan club pala itong si Ian.

I wanted to laugh at the stupidity of the situation pero nangibabaw ang galit ko. I wanted to strangle whoever that Celine is but unfortunately I don't have the time to stalk her. Pwede kong itanong kina Ashley because obviously alam na nila kung sino si Celine. Nakisali na din kasi ang ibang kakilala ko sa dati kong school at nagiging magulo na dahil nagmumurahan na sila sa twitter.

Who would have thought that a single picture at instagram would ignite a fight? My mood didn't lighten up until our class ended. I have totally forgotten my plan of ditching my class because I wanted to vent out my anger to someone and that someone is no other than Kriztian. Ano ang karapatan ng mga fans niyang pakialaman ako?

I went out of the room with a purpose and only then I noticed the stares directed at me while I'm walking. I gritted my teeth and ignored them all and went directly to our room. Kung nakakapatay ang tingin madami na ang namatay sa sama ng tingin ko sa lahat ng makakasalubong ko.

When I entered the room, I immediately saw Ian surrounded by a group of girls. I gritted my teeth in anger and my eyes turned into slits.

"Celine please..." I heard him say and my eyes narrowed in anger. I walked purposely towards them and they stopped immediately stopped talking.

Tiningnan ko sila isa isa at tinandaan ang mga itsura nila. Mabuti na yung alam ko kung sino sino ang mga kalaban ko. Pagkatapos ko silang tingnan hinarap ko na si Kriztian na nakaupo pa din sa upuan.

"That bitch is Celine?" I asked Ian while pointing at the girl beside him. Hindi siya nagsalita at lalo akong nainis.

"Yes, I'm Celine." Narinig kong sumagot ang babae pero hindi ko siya pinasin.

"Tell those bitches to mind their own business." Matigas na sabi ko at kay Ian pa din nakatingin. I can feel my erratic heartbeat. He's just looking at the book he's reading and it irked me to no end.

"If I'm a bitch then you're a flirt!" I clenched my jaw and my hand to stop myself from hitting her. I took a couple of deep breathes before I face the fucking bitch who started it all.

"Do you have a problem with my flirting, Miss?" I said in a controlled voice.

" Yes, dahil sa kalandian mo nasasaktan si Ian. Hinayaan na nga namin na maging kayo kahit na alam namin na hindi kayo bagay tapos ito ang gagawin mo sa kanya? Hindi kami makakapayag na lokohin mo lang siya!" Sigaw niya sa akin pero tumawa ako ng mahina.

"Ohh... hindi ko alam na kailangan pala muna ng permission niyo bago maging girlfriend ni Kriztian. What are you, his advisers? I'm sorry, I never knew of your existence until this morning. If I've known, I should have filed an application to be his girlfriend." I glance at Ian and smirked at him.

"We're his fans." Natawa ulit ako pero gusto ko nang burahin ang pagmumukha nilang lahat sa mundo.

"Yeah, I figure it out now. You're his slaves kaya nga nagtaka ako kung bakit ang mga slaves na katulad niyo ay nakikialam sa buhay ng iba. Di ba dapat naghihintay lang kayo sa isang tabi waiting for his command or his booty call?" Nakarinig ako ng singhap sa paligid ko pero hindi ko pinansin. Mas nangingibabaw ang galit ko at ramdam na ramdam ko ang pag iinit ng buong mukha ko dahil sag alit na yun.

"Jihann!" Narinig ko ang pananaway niya at bigla akong napatingin sa kanya.

"What? Di ba tama naman ako? Gagawin nila ang lahat ng sasabihin mo. How convenient having them around. A group of whores available 24/7 for an amazing night of sex and they also act as your...guards!"

"How dare you!" Susugurin na sana ako ng sampal ni Celine nung biglang tumayo si Ian at pumagitna sa amin. Nakatalikod siya sa akin at nakaharap kay Celine.

"Sinabi ko nang tumigil na kayo Celine." He said in a curt voice.

"Pero Ian..."

"That's right. Control your whores." I hissed at him. Bigla siyang tumingin sa akin at tiningnan ako ng masama.

"Shut up Jihann." Galit niyang sabi sa akin. I can see how mad he is. Nakikita ko ang pagkuyom niya ng kamao niya.

"Who are you to tell me what to do?" Sinalubong ko ang galit niyang tingin. No...I wouldn't back down. Now now, not ever. Hindi siya nagsalita. Ilang segundo pa kaming nagsukatan ng tingin bago niya hinawakan ng mahigpit ang kamay ko hinatak ako palabas ng classroom.