I'm so done waiting.

This time I'll make it all right and do something. I don't care what happens. If I have to do this barefooted and blindfolded, I'll do it.

I was sitting on my couch, staring - no, thinking. Thinking deep - really really deep of where Apollo might be. Sobrang dami kong naiisip na para akong nababaliw but I don't fucking care. I've come to some conclusions but ended up with nothing because I don't have any basis.

I'm about to lose my mind.

Nagtataka lang ako.

Bakit hindi alam ng step mom ni Apollo kung nasa'n siya? If I remember it correctly, laging may inuutusan ang step mom niya para malaman niya kung nasa'n siya. Like her eye for her prey. Pero bakit sabi ni Chaos, wala daw silang alam?

It doesn't make any sense! She should know!

She has been making Apollo's life hell from the beginning. 

Bakit sa loob ng anim na buwan ay ni katiting na lead ay wala kaming natatanggap? Bakit ni isang possible na taong mapagkamalang Apollo man lang ay walang nagpapakita? In some cases, there should be at least one possible person that has the same situation with Apollo, bakit wala man lang kaming nababalitaang ganun? Bakit kahit na ano ay wala? Bakit wala man lang sinasabing kahit ano si Chaos?

This is making my head hurt.

I stood up and went to go get some water when someone knocked on my door. I frowned, sino naman kaya ang pupunta ng ganitong oras? I went to the door and peep on the hole only to be shocked upon finding out who the person is.

What the- "Mr. Herrero?" I opened the door widely. I was trembling. "What are you doing here?"

*

When Apollo went missing. A lot has happened and one of it is finding out that Mr. Herrero is Chaos' biological father. When Chaos was born, Mr. Herrero suddenly vanished without everyone knowing, leaving his wife to take care of their son alone. Right when Chaos turned old enough to live on his own, Mr. Herrero came back acting as nothing has happened but also achieving his long life dream: which is to become a very successful lawyer. It wouldn't take a genius to know what happened.

He chose to fulfill his dreams rather than his heart.

Chaos started growing, only carrying his mother and step father's love, he did not also grow as a man but he also learned to keep his hatred against his own father. Up to this day, their relationship hasn't changed but you can see in Mr. Herrero's eyes that he couldn't be more proud to see where Chaos is now. But Chaos is not up for it, he acted as if he was nothing and ignored him for everything.

Mr. Herrero and I developed a father-daughter bonding that started when he was the one who took me and trained me with the field that I chose. He was like a father to me and I was like his daughter. He wanted to be a father and he can only do that with me.

Ever since I tried to make both of them bond but the only answer I've been getting were:

No.

I know he said no. Let's not force him, darling. He will never forgive me.

It was frustrating but then I don't have any right to get in between. So, I just let them be and hoped that everything will be alright with both of them. Though, it would take a lot of time. I know someday it will happen.

I guess we're all tailing the same road: the road to a miracle. But then again, a lost son will always go back and find his father.

*

Seeing Mr. Herrero right now have shocked me right through the core. When was the last time I saw him? Like months and months ago? Why is he here? How did he even knew I was here?

I was dumbfounded.

He greeted me with his warm eyes, "Good evening, little girl. May I come in?"

I shook my head for a little bit and nodded hesitantly. I watch him roam his eyes around my apartment and stop to watch me watching him, disbelief evident in my eyes. I snapped out of it and closed the door. I pointed to my couch signaling him to seat and he did. I asked if he needed anything like water, juice, beer or anything but he declined me with his gentle smile.

"Tito, bakit- bakit po kayo nandito? How did you know where I live?"

He laughed a little, "A lawyer must have many resources."

I nodded, my lips tugging a bashful smile, "Why are you here, tito? Wala po si Chaos. It has been 3 days since we last saw each other."

He frowned, "Bakit anong nangyari?" He put his right foot on his knee and laid his back on the couch.

He irked me. "Just some misunderstanding, tito. You know your son. When he loses control, he can say things that he shouldn't. It was a little argument but nothing that can't be fixed with sincere apologies."

"Was this about your missing lover?"

I blushed, a hoping smile painted my lips at the mere mention of Apollo, "Yes po."

He cleared his throat and smiled once again, "Nagseselos lang yun." We laughed but I shook my head, "You know, I'm surprised bakit sa tagal niyo ng magkasama ni Chaos ay hindi ka pa nadedevelop sa kanya?"

He was rooting for me, ever since. But, "Tito, magkaibigan lang po talaga kami ni Chaos. And I'm thankful for your son, he has done so much for me."

He smiled and looked at me, "But you're still hung up on your ex-lover, yes?"

My heart stopped beating for a second, "Not ex, tito." My throat suddenly went dry. "I never stopped loving him and probably never will."

Silence surrounded the room. He was still staring at me while I could not because of the tears that suddenly made its way through my eyes. I was once again hurting. I did this to myself and I probably won't ever forgive myself if something ever happened to Apollo. I will never let myself love again if it is not Apollo. I will do anything to find him.

Anything.

For my forever.

"Caly." His voice echoed in my system. It felt like I was once again back in the real world. The world where hoping is the mantra and Apollo is the lifeline.

I looked up to him, never mind the tear that flowed on my cheeks. I looked at him expectantly. His eyes held a lot of emotion that I can't keep up with - that I could not read.

Probably pity.

He cleared his throat and once again, my world stopped turning.

"I know where the boy is. And I will tell you."

I stopped breathing.

"But in return, you have to do something for me."

I was about to ask him more when suddenly someone called him on his phone. He frowned and asked if it was really important. I guess it was because he sighed, defeatedly. I begged him with my eyes to not let this end this way.

"I'm sorry, child. I'll call you when I come back from my business trip. This is an emergency I have to go."

"But Tito, please. Just tell me where he is."

He shook his head. "I can't just tell you. No, not like this."

And he left.