Chaos didn't text me again and I was relieved.

Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ganun na lang ang naging reaksyon ko. Siguro kasi hindi pa 'ko handang ipakilala si Chaos kay Apollo. Maybe because I'm not ready to face what might happen. Alam ko naman, I am over thinking. That was a given fact. Hindi ko lang kasi talaga maalis sa isip ko kung anong mga pwedeng mangyari.

Apollo will get jealous. That is also a given fact. No need to be hypothetical.

I don't want to do any of that. Is it wrong to protect our relationship from things that might complicate it? I will do everything to prevent it, that's for sure. I will do everything to protect Apollo. But then, Chaos is right. Chaos made things easier for me, easier for me to say that I am a coward. I don't like taking risks and only when I loved Apollo when I knew the meaning of it. I've probably taken every risk I can get to be with Apollo.

"Don't forget to bring something to cover yourself up. The sun is too hot. I don't want you getting sunburned." He said while walking his way out from the bathroom, already wearing his trunks and a surfboard stuck in his arms. He went to me and kissed me on the forehead, "I will wait for you at the Cabbana, alright?"

I nodded and continued fixing my things. The risk is worth it.

I stayed in my room and eventually finished after 30 minutes. I was already wearing my swimsuit and a see-through kimono to cover up.

I saw him sitting in our lounge while reading a book. He looked so relax and handsome. I went to sit beside him and found a comfortable position. This place really is amazing. I wonder. Paano nalalaman ni Apollo ang mga ganitong klase lugar? The last time, we went into a private open garden and we went to have a picnic there. Like this place, that garden was magical. 

"How'd you know about this place?" I asked not taking my eyes off of the children that are playing ball at the seaside.

I felt him looked at me, "By wandering."

"You find beautiful places like this by wandering? Can't you be more specific than that?"

He laughed, "Always eager for answers." I stuck my tongue at him. "I knew this place because Cecilia once went here for a friend's party."

I studied his face for a while. Cecilia. Every time he mentions his stepmother's name, it gives me little daggers in my heart. I don't know why. Maybe because I still wish for sympathy from his stepmom rather than hatred. I could never understand her but then again, I wouldn't know how she felt adopting his husband's son from another woman. She may have a reason, but I still think she's being irrational. Apollo wasn't the one to blame. It's his husband who committed.

He put his hand on the top of mine, "You're thinking about it again. Stop it." His thumbs softly playing with my hand.

"I just..." My hands reaching for his face.

He leaned on my hand and kissed my palm, closing his eyes and sighed deeply, "This was supposed to be one hell of a weekend."

I smiled. Of course, one hell of a weekend. I should stop being emotional every time I get a glimpse of his rocky road life. Should. Should try. "I'm with you, aren't I?" I pinched his cheeks.

He nodded.

"Then this is already one hell of a weekend."

* * *

We ate lunch in the lobby of our hotel room because Apollo was being irrelevant. Pumasok na daw kami at mas lalo nang tumitirik ang araw baka daw magka-sunburn ako. Eh halos maubos na nga niya yung sun block lotion ko nung pina-apply ko sa kanya sakin, masusunog pa ba balat ko nun? And how the hell would I even get burned from the sun kung nasa may hut lang ako all the time? Apollo sometimes I can't—

After lunch, we went to the market. Just to walk around and enjoy the place. This place reminded me of Hawaii. We went to this shop that sells bathing suits. I love shopping for summer clothes. Unlike any guy, hindi ako pinagbabawalan ni Apollo na isuot ang mga gusto kong isuot. As long as he's there whenever my clothes get kind of revealing - like hanging shirts, cropped tops or high waisted shorts.

I liked this particular two piece I saw at an open tiangge. It was white but the laces are red. It also came with a red sarong that would probably reach above my knee. I wanted it. I turned to find Apollo at the store across looking at a surfboard. I saw a guy following me while looking around their store. "Kuya, one size lang po ba 'to?" Tinuro ko yung gusto ko.

My smiled haltered when I saw him looking at my middle, I fixed my cover-up and cleared my throat. "Kuya." I called for his attention again but his gaze was still transfixed at the same spot.

Nanginig ako. I have never been blatantly checked out. I was trying to look for Apollo across when he blocked my view. I looked at him again, his face smiling with malice, "One size lang yan, Miss."

I tried walking to his right when he blocked me again, to his left and he did the same. "Maraming bigger sizes sa likod miss. Baka gusto mo pang maghanap?"

I shook my head and trying to keep myself covered. Apollo...

"Tara miss, ipapakita ko sayo yung malalaki sa likod." Hinablot niya ang braso ko at napatalon ako sa gulat. Oh, god.

"Excuse me." 

"Busy ako. Mamaya na lang." He said, his hands tightening the hold on my arms. I was already shaking. My voice suddenly mute. "Walang agawan pare. Ako ang nauna dito."

"Bitawan mo, pare." The voice hard and low. My eyes getting all teary. God, I'm so scared. Apollo looked at me, "Nakikita mo ba yang mga matang yan?" The guy looked at me. 

Apollo tilted his head. "Pag tumulo yan, padadalhan ko ng abuloy ang pamilya mo."

Nakita kong lumunok ang lalaki sa harap niya at pabalik balik ang tingin saming dalawa. I was trying to hold my tears back but when I whimpered. A tear fell. Nanlaki ang mga mata nung lalaking may hawak sakin at takot na tumingin ulit kay Apollo, pag tingin niya dito, literal na nakita kong nandilim ang paningin ni Apollo at ngumiti ng pabalang. Nabigla ako ng bigla akong itinulak ng lalaking to kay Apollo sabay kumaripas ng takbo.

I saw Apollo lunge and about to run after him. His body shaking with rage, his eyes unfocused to the guy, his jaw clenched and unclenched. His breathing ragged and sweat found its forehead. I can almost hear his breathing that came deep within him. No, no. Not again. Not again.

Please, not again. God, not now.

"Apollo." I cupped his face. "Apollo, look at me." I tried catching his gaze. When suddenly he jerked and ran as fast as he can after the guy.

Fuck.

I ran after him dodging every person that crowded me. Shit, shit, shit. Fuck. 

Apollo! I ran as fast I can after him, not minding every person's business around me. I saw Apollo at the seaside trying to find the guy.

He's hiding. Good, keep fucking hiding you damned fuck. Tinakbo ko kung saan si Apollo at halos mawalan ng hininga sa pagpipilit na mabilisan pa ang kilos ko.

He was about to run again when I tackled him from the back. He almost dodges me but I was able to pin him down. Sitting on his stomach and grabbing his face trying to make him see me.

"Apollo, look at me!" I slapped him in the face. His heartbeat beating abnormally. Shit. "Apollo, I said fucking look at me!" I shouted at him. Cupping his face softly now that he looked at me. His eyes blinking and unblinking.

Goddamnit, not fucking now.

I sighed, "Ssh," Keeping my eyes at his. His eyes dilated and I can almost see myself staring desperately trying to bring his mind back. "I'm here. I'm here." I whispered. "Apollo, I'm here." My voice cracking.

He gasped. Body still not moving. I kissed his forehead, my lips staying there for a while. My tears dropping some on his face. 

Listen to me, darling. I'm right here. No one's going to hurt me. No one's going to hurt you. 

I looked at his eyes again, "Are you with me, baby?" I bit my lip. Fingers drawing smoothly at his cheeks. A tear fell unto his cheeks and I brushed it away. No one's going to hurt us.

I felt his arms moved and went its way around my waist, "Yes."