-"I know you're thinking I'm heartless, I know you're thinking I'm cold, I'm just protecting my innocence, I'm just protecting my soul."-

It took me exactly two days to find the courage to go and talk to Benito in person. I knew that he was at home because his car was parked outside in the driveway and the door to his balcony was opened - it only was, when he was home. Even though I was standing in the driveway, I just couldn't get out of the car. I didn't even know what I was scared of - I mean, I usually had no problem telling people what I felt -, and he couldn't hurt me more than he had already done. Taking a deep breath, I got out of the car and walked up to the front door. I carefully knocked and waited. After a few seconds, I could hear shuffling behind the door, then it opened. Benito had a smile on his face but it quickly faded, when he saw me. Immediately, he tried to close the door again but I stopped it with my foot.

"Can we please talk?" I asked him.

"I don't know about what." he countered.

"Don't act dumb, Benito. You know exactly what we need to talk about." I gave back quietly.

He sighed but nodded and opened the door fully, so I could enter his house. I waited for him to close the door behind me.

"You want to talk, then talk." he said impatiently.

"I still haven't gotten an answer and since you ignored my calls, I didn't know what else I could do." I started. He stayed quiet, so I continued:"I don't expect you to feel the same way, nor that even if you do, you'd show it but I expect at least a response." Again, he didn't say anything, she just crossed his arms in front of his chest, while staring at me with his resting bitch face that I just adored. For at least 10 minutes, neither of us said anything.

"Can you please say something?" I asked desperately. I was tired of the uncertainty, even if I was scared of his response. It was better than asking myself about the what ifs.

"Goddammit." he mumbled, then he took a deep breath. I watched him pace back and forth, the he finally spoke:"Isabella, it would never work. I'm not one to date and could never give you the love you deserve." he explained and let out a sigh. I could tell that it wasn't the whole truth. His resting bitch face had been replaced by an incredibly sad expression. I had already expected something like that and that's why it didn't hurt as much.

"I'm sorry." he whispered and closed his eyes.

"And... and what now?" I questioned carefully.

"I think it's better if you leave now." he responded, reaching for the doorknob. Defeated, I nodded and walked out the door he held open for me. I wasn't used to being the one that ended things, usually it was me that did. On my way towards my car, I ran into Bysael, who had apparently made plans with Benito. He immediately knew that it gone exactly like he had told me but he also understood that I needed to be alone. I guess that was it.

Benito

The following weeks were rough. I had no motivation to do anything but forced myself to go outside and attend events. The harder it was for me to socialise, the easier it was to write songs. Of course, I tried to distract myself with other women, even gave past relationships a new try but no matter what, none of those women had the same effect on me that Isabella had. Don't get me wrong, the models I started seeing were hot and definitely knew how to please me and still, the nights and days I had spent with Isabella were haunting me. Whenever I slept with someone, I saw her, heck, sometimes I even needed to think about her to even get in the mood.

"What are you thinking about?" Kendall's voice ripped me out of my thoughts.

"An old friend." I gave back and sighed. She cuddled up to me and I went back to my thoughts, slowly stroking her arm. I didn't really pay attention to what she mumbled because my mind was already drifting off to Isabella. It wasn't long until I fell asleep and just like almost every other night, I dreamt about her. It was the only way, I could be close to her even if it wasn't real. For six months straight, she had successfully avoided me, it was like she didn't exist anymore. Honestly, I couldn't blame her, I had probably broken her heart. I knew that she was more or less alright - Bysael didn't directly keep me updated but I had overheard conversations with our brother, Bernie, in which he had mentioned her - and still she managed to stay off the radar. She had stopped streaming and uploading videos. The others had also mentioned that she had visited her parents in Florida for quite a while. I missed her and it was killing me but it was better for her that way. I was just praying that I would forget about her because I wasn't myself.