-"No quiero que más nadie me hable de amor, ya me cansé, to' esos trucos ya me los sé, esos dolores los pasé"-

After I had entered my room, I pulled my phone out and texted Benito. Heck, I even called him multiple times but he rejected my calls and left me on read. I told him how sorry I was and that I wanted to talk to him to make it right and that I hadn't wanted to put that lable on him again. After almost an hour of me trying, I finally got a response.

Benito💞

Please, leave me alone, Isabella.

I wanted to respond but my message didn't go through - he had blocked my number. I felt horrible and the worst part was that I had nobody I could talk to or that I could ask for advice. Nobody knew about this little secret and if I had told Bysael, he would've probably killed me. I was like a big sister to him but Benito was his brother and he would've protected him with his life.

Benito

Two weeks had passed since the incident at Bysael's party. I hadn't seen Isabella since then and I had also actively tried to avoid running into her when I came to the house to film with the others. Of course, they had noticed that something wasn't right but they didn't ask questions and I was grateful for it. In the meantime, my anger had vanished but what Isabella had said had really hurt me. I had unblocked her number as well because I had hoped that she maybe had stopped reaching out to me. Apparently, I had been wrong because as soon as she had noticed it, she had started texting me again, apologising a million times.

Isabella 💔

I'm so sorry, I didn't mean what I said!

Why did you anyways?

I was drunk and angry

But why?

Because you talked to Lilly all night.

First of all, I didn't talk to her all night and second of all, why do you care? You could've said something.

I didn't want the others to notice something and I honestly didn't know how to react to it.

Wait, are you telling me that you were jealous?

I wouldn't call it jealousy...

You can't stand the thought of me with another woman, yet you're trying to tell me now that you weren't jealous. Yeah right, Isabella.

Okay, fine, I admit it. I was jealous, very fucking jealous.

Why? It's not like we were a couple or as if there were just any kind of feelings involved.

I know that I was behaving like a dickhead towards her but that's just how I was. It didn't matter if I had feelings or not, I was just not the relationship type of person and barely ever showed it when I liked someone. I had made really bad experiences in my first relationship and ever since then I had tried to avoid attachments in any way. Talking about feelings was also not one of my strengths. Unfortunately, I did have feelings for Isabella but like I said, I would've never admitted it towards her even if my life had depended on it.

Isabella 💔

Yeah, that's not true anymore...

I didn't respond to that. I had already feared something like that. She started liking me and I was forced to make a decision. Sighing, I put my phone to the side and buried my face in my pillow. I let out a loud scream into the cushion. It wasn't long until somebody called me but I didn't even have to look to know who was calling me.

Isabella

I had just pretty much told him that I had fallen for him in some sort of way. I honestly don't know what I had expected. Maybe an I like you too or an I don't have feelings for you but definitely not that he wouldn't respond at all. I dialled his number because I needed an answer. It was ringing until his voicemail answered. A loud sigh escaped my lips which caused Bysael who was sitting on his laptop, cutting videos, to look at me.

"Are you alright, chica?" he asked concerned. I nodded because we weren't alone and I didn't want Tim and the others to hear why I was down. At the same time I unlocked my phone and messaged him, saying that I needed someone to talk to. The others were all doing stuff, some were watching TV, some were playing on their phones. Patiently, I waited for Bysael to look at his phone. He nodded, when he had read the message.

Half an hour later, I was sitting in Bysael's car on his way to Carla's apartment. He had offered to drop me off at the grocery store and pick me up again on his way back.

"You're not alright, right?" he started, when I had sat in silence for too long.

"Everything but alright..." I told him quietly.

"And you couldn't talk in front of the others?" he questioned.

"I don't want them to make their jokes, you know how they are." I admitted.

"Okay, then go!" Bysael said, stopping at a red light.

"Bysa, I fucked up." I started. While he was waiting for the light to turn green, he shot me a confused look but stayed quiet.

"Before I tell you, promise me you won't get mad at me." I said carefully.

"Why? What did you do?" Bysael wanted to know skeptically.

"I'll let you know in a minute, just promise it!" I repeated.

"Okay, I promise." he responded.

"It's about Benito." I started. I watched Bysael closely and as soon as his name had left my mouth, his facial expression changed. Carefully, I told him everything and as promised, he didn't get mad and let me finish.

"Shit, Bysa, I think I'm in love with him." I finished my story. I left out what had happened about an hour earlier.

"You, in love with Benito. Is that some sick joke?" he questioned in disbelief. His reaction was natural, we had hated each other for the past two years.

"No, I'm not joking, I'm serious." I told him quietly.

"Does he know?" he wanted to know, tensing up.

"I sort of told him earlier." I gave back honestly. He stopped the car on the parking lot of the grocery store. After he had turned the engine off, he showed a reaction. Sighing, he put his head in his hands and started shaking it.

"If there's one thing I know about Beno for sure, then it's that he immediately runs the second feelings are involved." he mumbled to himself. I stayed quiet, trying to let that information sink in.

"He's not the relationship kind of person and despises love. I know, the fact that he felt so offended when you overreacted because of Lilly shows that he maybe likes you too but he would never admit it." he explained slowly. I didn't really understand but since he knew him best, I simply believed him.

"And that means?" I wanted to know unsure.

"Isabella, I'm sorry but he would probably rather die than tell you that he's in love with you - if he even is. But I can talk to him if that helps." he offered with a calm voice. Nodding, I wanted to get out of the car but he held me back.

"Oh and one more thing. If you want to talk to him, do it at his house. He can't ignore you when you're standing in front of him." he told me, before I got out of the car. This conversation had not helped at all, I felt even more lost.