Becoming Who I Am

"Kakashi Sensei, Brusher Brow Sensei, I can't believe you both came." Naruto exclaimed sitting on the ground.

"You know I can't just sit back and relax, not while my student from Team 7 is working so hard." Kakashi looked back at Naruto and gave him a closed eyes smile.

"So now that back up has arrived, what are we gonna do about Ol' Masky over there?" I used my thumb to point at Madara, "Oh right him!" Naruto replied, "He's got a Sharingan and Rinnegan and their linked! Left eye to right eye, and there's a metal rod sticking out of the left side of his chest and uh-uh-uh"

Guy turned to Naruto, "Just calm down. You aren't making any sense at all."

"His right eye holds a Sharingan and his left eye holding a rinnegan, and he has the same rods pain used. So I see at least." So in this rag tag team, Guy is the slow one and Kakashi is like the smart kid you cheat off of in class.

"I see your deduction skills are impressive as always Kakashi."

The ground started to shake as the 5 tails started charging at us. Naruto tried to get up but fell back to his knees grunting in pain. "Leave it to me! Rock Crush!" Guy elbowed the cluster of rocks on Naruto's back crushing them to dust. The 5 tails jumped over us completely ignoring that we were right in front of it, "It's going after 8 tails." I ran towards the 5 tails at full speed weaving hand signs, "Y/N?! What are you doing?!"

When I was close enough i slammed my hand on the ground, "Ice Style; Frozen Ground!" Ice rose from the ground covering the 5 tails hoofs holding it in place as it struggled. "Ha! Gotcha bitch." I stood up placing my hands on my hips in victory, but it used it's tails and broke free from the ice continued to advance on 8 tails.

As the 5 tails got close to 8 Tails Madara held up his hand a purple aura surrounding it. Purple glowing chains wrapped around 5 tails throat making it cry out.

"Wait, was it trying to attack him?"

With a hard Hank from Madara 5 tails fell to the ground on its side. Even though they are evil I still felt bad for the poor thing. 8 tails close his fist around Madara attempting to crush him to death. "There's he's done it."

"I wouldn't say that Guy..." I knew Madara wouldn't let something as simple as crushing him take him down. No...he's too smart for that. As I predicted Madara dematerialized and waltzed right through 8 Tails hand. As he walked towards the 5 tails it began to revert back to Tailed beast state.

"What? Is he bottling up the Tailed beast power?"

"I don't know. He doesn't seem to have the tailed beast under his control. Maybe that's why..."

Anger swelled up in my chest. How can he just force something into submission? Force them to do his bidding and hurt them in the process? I clenched my fists at my sides, "You rotten bastard! They aren't your play things! You can't just force them to fight for you, that's not how it works!" I hollered baring my teeth at Madara.

"Oh? That's exactly how it works Prnicess-" I growled in anger while sprinting towards Madara, "Shut up!" I swung my Ice sword at him barley missing him as he jumped away. "Do you really want test at my patience Y/N?" He asked in a deeper voice than before, "Don't underestimate me Ice Queen. My visual prowess is Godly, better than any in this pathetic World."

"Would you just shut up! Ya know, you're ego is getting too big for that small head of yours." I raised my sword up in front me giving him a sadistic smirk, "Maybe I should just cut it off."

"Oh? Like you did Bronx? I kinda liked that fellow." I snarled at him, "He was weak, and a coward. I did what had to be done." I sprinted at him again but the 2 tails landed in front of me causing me to jump away. "Y/N!" Guy's voice rang out to me, "A little help over here?!" I turned my head to see him stepping away from the 6 tails who was spitting out acidic goo at his feet. I ran towards sticking my sword through my body sash and weaved hand signs hitting the ground by the 6 tails goo. "Ice Style: Frozen Ground!" Ice spread across the goo completely freezing it and giving Guy something to stand on. The 6 tails released more acidic goo from it's mouth, projectiles shooting towards Guy, I grabbed him by the collar of his green jumpsuit and draged him back with me. My back hit something solid making me turn around ready to fight only to see Kakashi with two wide eyes mirroring my expression.

"Oh thank Kami it's you guys."

I looked around and didn't see Naruto with him, "Where's Naruto?!" Kakashi pointed up to the 4 tails where Naruto was struggling at its neck. Naruto was trying to pull something out...

The metal rods.

It was too far of a run, it would take too long to reach him. As I ran plans through my head the other tailed beasts were closing in on us. If we had the 4 tails on our side we could beat these guys, maybe not easily but it would definitely help us. "Guy! Throw me to Naruto."

"What?!"

"Throw me to Naruto! I don't weigh that much, it's the fastest way to get to him!" Guy and Kakashi had a silent argument with their eyes before Guy grabbed both of my wrists and began to spin us quickly before letting go of me. I soared through the air, heading right at the arm of the 4 tails. If I land this perfectly I'd land somewhere around the elbow and will be able to reach Naruto quickly.

Just as I planned I landed with grace and immediately took off in a sprint to Naruto. "Naruto!" I called wrapping my arms around his torso tightly and pulled back hard. "Y/N Sesnei?! What are you doing up here?!"

"I'm helping you now less talking and more pulling!" Naruto put his feet on 4 tails neck and used them to push off of as I began to yank Naruto. "It's not working!" I yelled through clenched teeth, I let go of Naruto and dipped under his arms stepping between his legs. I placed my back below the metal rod and planted my feet square on Naruto's chest, "Now when I saw go you pull with everything you have, got it?"

"Got it!"

"Okay, 1,2,3, GO!" I shoved Naruto with my feet as he yanked with all his might, surprisingly the rod came out sending both me and Naruto falling off of 4 Tails and sailing to the ground. 8 Tails hand was ready to catch our bodies below us, Naruto landed safely, but as I was about to land a spear pierced my right shoulder holding me in the air. I cried out clawing at the the purple aura chain. "Y/N!" Kakashi cried out running to where I was suspended in mid air. A cold chill ran up my spine as a deep laugh erupted behind me on the ground. "I told you not to underestimate me Ice Queen, with these chains I can control anything." The chain began pulling me backwards, "No! Let me go!" I thrashed around the spear in my shoulder grunting out in pain. When I was face to face with Madara he grabbed both sides of my head and forced me to stare into his eyes. "Even you."

Pure anger filled my lungs.
Pure disgust filled my heart.

Every last painful memory I have, every last ounce of pain I've felt began to suffocate me. Flashbacks of my parent's death, the painful feeling of Orochimaru stabbing me through my stomach, the fear of death as I began to bleed out.

Obito being crushed by the rock in that dreadful cave. The sadness I felt watching my friend, my comrade laying half crushed pouring his heart out to us, saying his last words. I can still feel the last cheek kiss I ever gave him on my lips, being forced to leave his body, cold and alone as the cave began to crumble.

The look on Rin's face as she jumped in the way of Kakashi's Chidori going through her chest and heart, the smell of her blood filling my nose. The desperation I felt trying to stuff her wound to keep her alive even though she was already dead. The empty feeling of losing yet another comrade, another friend just months apart.

The hatred I felt for Kakashi afterwards. I can taste the venom in my words the night I left the village. The lunches I hit him with stinging my knuckles, salty tears in my mouth as I screamed at him, blaming him for our friend's deaths. His look of regret, desperation, and emptiness equally showing their ugly faces to me as he took my abuse without even hitting me back. The way I screamed that I hates him and how I wish he was the one who does instead of Obito and Rin. The tears he cried meant nothing to me then, to me they were only false.

Learning of Minato's and Kushina's and the birth of Naruto.

The love I felt that first night me and Kakashi became one. The night I offered up my body and soul to him just as he did for me. The slow kisses, the soft touches, and sweet nothings playing in my head like a melody. His moans and the loving way he called my name in ecstasy swelled my heart.

Rin. Rin. RIN. All he ever cared about was RIN! He only ever loved Rin! She was everything to him as I was only a background character in his story book. The way he adored her, the way he would watch her as she trained. The smiles through his mask he saved only for her! The way she would touch his hand with her pinky to signal him to lock Pinkies with her. Something I always wanted...I wanted Kakashi, I wanted him to notice me...even after our steamy night together he called out for her while buried deep inside of me.
I knew I should have never came back to the Leaf Village, all my pain was here. All my anger was here.

Master Jiraiya...Master...

Pain...Pain killed my Master in cold blood. Pain was the one who murdered Master Jiraiya and even mocked him as he laid there bleeding out as I struggled to freeze his blood to keep him alive. But just like every other time in my life I was too late to save him. I wasn't fast enough, I wasn't smart enough to keep a better eye on him. I knew he had a plan up his sleeve that day, I should have stayed with him. Followed him around the Village to protect him, and because of that he died.

"This was the only place I could go and be alone. A place that I would be able to see her. To see Rin and Obito, and you destroyed it." He turned to me, his visible eye holding unshed tears.

"To see her? Are you seriously going to do this right now?"

"Look, I've tried to get better, but I can't do that when every goddamn thing is about you!"

"What are you gonna do, leave again?"

"You know what? I will."

"Fine go then."

Pain. The pain in my stomach from protecting Kakashi from one of Pain's metal rods stabbing through me. The tears Kakashi cried as I protected him. The way he told me he loved me as he died in front of my eyes. My heart and soul shattering as our Eternal Seal vanished when his heart stopped beating. My World complete crashed around me, spiraling me into a deep abyss of nothingness and despair. The hatred I held for Pain bubbling more and more as I screamed out for Kakashi. The final kiss we shared lingering on my bloody lips.

The Leaf Village being completely destroyed.

Pain pinning Naruto to the ground, that's when I lost all control and half of the Ice Warriors power consumed me.

Being pinned to the ground fighting for my life and eventually dying only to be brought back to life.

Learning of the truth of my Village and why they were all killed.

The truth of the Twins, and why I felt such strong motherly love towards them. Being backstabbed by those same twin boys.

Meeting my parents again after so many years only to fight them. Them using Artic Suicide to Free themselves from the reanimation Jutsu that was casted upon them.

Fighting Levi and Gunta...

My sons. Fighting my son's was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. But Levi held no remorse as he tried to kill me only to mortally wound his own bother. That was the second time I lost all control and let the Ice Warrior inside of me fully take over and killed Levi.

I screamed as all of those feelings and memories swirled around inside of my head. "Let it out Y/N, let all of the hatred, and pain out and be who you were destained to be!" Laughed Madara as he dropped me to the ground.

"Make it stop! Please! Make it stop!!" I grabbed my own head thrashing it around screaming.

"Stop it! What are you doing to her?!"

"I'm only showing her who she really is deep inside."

"Y/N! Don't let it consume you! Don't let whatever it is take control of you!"

"AHHHH!!!!"

The fear that was in Gulliver's eyes as he looked upon me was one I never want to see again. It was as if I was a monster.

A Monster?

Is that what I really am? Is that what Im to become?

If the World cursed me a Monster the day I was born.

Then a Monster I will be.

Everything was clear to me now. I stood from the ground staring Madara in the eye, "Tell me, How do you feel?" He asked with a soft chuckle.

"Like a God."

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