Why don't you tell me what's wrong?
Why do you alway insist that you're okay?!
is what they ask me.
Because I know how it feels to scream and cry
and have no one come help
and i understand the burden that i am
and i know how my cries might rattles your bones
and how unsure you will be when you're trying to calm me down
and if holding a hand over my mouth all night
and biting my lip till i draw blood
keeps me quiet enough to stop people from worrying
i'll do it
Is what i want to tell them.
Because i am okay,
I'm happier than i've ever been
Is what i actually say.
Because i know that they do not actually care.
They pretend to care
they pretend to listen
and they pretend to be there for me.
And if i do tell them,
i cannot help but regret it
because i know that they will judge my feelings
And thoughts
And my problems.
They only pretend to care
Do not fall for it
is what i continue to tell myself
because although they may be my "friends"
they will never truly understand me.