I hate it.
I hate you.
I hate myself.
And I hate time.

Time.
I let time get between us. I chose my left instead of my right.

Am I being selfish... Or am I actually caring about myself for once?

I put you first.
Your feelings.
Your thoughts.
Your actions.

They all decided how I would run my life.

Even if it was slowly killing me.

.
A period.
In space, in the moment...

In time.

I'm fighting a battle I didn't even know existed.
A battle with someone who knows my every weakness...
My every move.

But I'm not fighting you.
Not even the girl who I thought would always be there for me and have my back.

I'm fighting myself.

I'm confused as to whether or not I'm suppose to be feeling this way.
My feelings all jumbled up like a big pot of alphabet soup.

I'm confused.

But I'm also scared.

What if I ruined all this for nothing. What if these choices were just out of rage and passion.
Passion?
That's not the word.
Or maybe it is.

But none of that matters.

I hate myself.

I hate how i let myself fall into your arms,
How i let myself come crawling back to you begging for you forgiveness
Even when i knew you were wrong.

I'm sorry you feel alone in your pain but so do I.

I'm sorry I didn't hear your pain, because i was drowning in my own.

I'm sorry I'm the emptiness you feel at 2am.

I'm sorry i come with dozens of scars.

I'm sorry I'm the only thing that you will ever feel.

And it hurts that I can't be what everyone wants,
Or what anyone needs.

I'm sorry I can't be what you want,
And what i need.

I'm not enough.

And I'm sorry i won't ever be close to enough.

But please don't leave.

I'm sorry I'm sad, and clingy.
I'm sorry that i fall too fast and get to attached to things i can't have.
I'm sorry if i put you through a life's time of suffering.

But please...

Please don't leave.