"So let me get this straight. You've been flirting with one of the hottest guys on the hockey team - who likes you as well, you've become friends with his roommates, you almost kiss him several times, and then give your virginity to him only to leave while he's in the bathroom and avoid him for several days?" Jia tossed back her tequila, grimacing a little. "Did I get that right?"

Siannah and I had been sneaking off to Jia and Tink's house so I could avoid Jace needing to get my thoughts, as well as my speech together before telling him how I truly felt.

Rubbing my finger along the clear shot glass I looked at the devil liquid. "I was saving my own heart- and before you say anything, I know it's selfish of me," I rubbed my temple, imagining the look on Jace's face when he walked into his empty room. Did he shrug it off and go on with the day? Did he rip the sheets off with a smile happy that he conquered another virgin? "but I needed to think of the ways it would affect our friendship now that it happened."

"So your first time was a spur of the moment kind of thing?" Tink asks, receiving only a nod in return. "Was it . . . bad?"

Shaking my head the memories replayed. My heart beating harder in my chest remembering the way he kissed me. How gentle his touches were and his sweet words of reassurance. "It was amazing." I whispered.

"We all thought so too." My sister mumbled.

"Siannah!" Covering my face, embarrassment burned at my cheeks.

Feeling her arms wrap around my shoulders she rocked us from side to side, "Don't be embarrassed little sis." She laughed. "From the sounds I heard the rumors must be true."

"Siannah." I groaned.

"What? You don't have to give me the details but -"

"I need the details." Jia almost fell out of the chair trying to unwrap her arm from the blanket so she could raise it. "I need all the juicy details."

"No." Tink threw a mini marshmallow at Jia's head. "You don't have to tell us anything, Savannah. We all know how special you wanted your first time to be. I just want to know if you regret it or not."

"Regret?" Siannah asked, shocked, then turned to me, "You don't do you?"

"Of course not! I . . . I really enjoyed it and if my afterthoughts didn't swarm me with questions then I would have stayed, maybe even hinted for a second round but," my throat felt like it was closing as tears blurred my vision.

"The thoughts." I heard Tink speak for me sadly.

"What thoughts Kat?"

Giving a poor smile to Siannah as she slid a cupcake across the coffee table while rubbing my back, I told them how I made my head hurt trying to push away the questions of what would happen now. Was he expecting me to be gone when he got out of the bathroom? Was this a one time thing now that he could put a checkmark next to my name?

It made my stomach turn. I felt so embarrassed and disappointed in myself that I bolted. Grabbing my clothes and dressing with the speed of light I ran down the stairs telling Siannah we had to go as I walked out the door. The soreness of love making in my thighs hurt with each step.

I wanted to be more than friends with Jace. I wanted something beautiful and not temporary. I wanted the strings because I deserved them but my heart was too afraid of rejection. To see Jace scratch the back of his head trying to figure out the best way to let me down easy. It was something I never wanted to witness from the receiving end, especially from Jace Carter.

"Hello?" I jolted out of my thoughts seeing Siannah on the phone. "Hey Nate . . . Oh really? Shit, that's amazing! How'd you fix it? . . . Wow, you're the greatest . . . So we can move back in today? . . . Okay, we'll be there soon. Bye." Ending the call she smiled widely at me. "Our place is fixed. We can move back in!"

"Seriously?"

"Hell yeah! Let's go home."

"Do you want us to come over and help?" Jia offered as Tink nodded in agreement.

"There really isn't much to do but unpack the bags we took when we left. You both can still come over if you want but," Siannah pausing stretching to pull out her cell tapping out a reply, "Carmen is coming over too." She pocketed her phone. "You two coming?"

"Give me two seconds to change." Jia took off for her room to layer up before we went outside in the freezing cold.

Tink grabbed her jean jacket, putting it over her orange hoodie slipping on the matching orange hat and cut off finger gloves. "I'm ready."

"And I'm taking these." Siannah grabbed the medium size jar of sour jelly beans, stuffing them into the pocket of her hoodie.

Riding to the apartment with Kit as Jia and Tink followed in Tink's car, Siannah let out a breath of relief saying home sweet home as she turned on our street.

Avoiding Jace wasn't something I could do forever and I knew that. Eventually I would see him, if it wasn't him cornering me for an explanation then it would be him with a different girl begging for attention and that hurt just as much.

What if he went back to Michi? Or Heather? What if he was lying about hating Paige this entire time and actually slept with her? What if he laughed with Tyler and Reid mimicking the noises I made? How I was scared that he was going to rip me in two!

But what if . . . I hurt him by leaving?

"Stop overthinking things Kat." Wiping away the fallen tears with my sleeve I glanced at my big sister wishing I could just turn my mind off like she was suggesting. "Be here with me, right now. We're home back in our own space. You can close yourself off and get lost in editing. I'll even let you take pictures of me if you want but you have to give yourself a break from that night. A night that you said was special."

"It was."

"But it won't be if you keep thinking of it as the night you left him."

"What do I do Siannah? I'm not like you!" I sniffed, wiping my eyes again. "No offense sis but I can't turn my feelings off because I . . . I want him." Dropping my head against the seat I closed my eyes on an exhale. "I want to be with Jace but I'm scared."

"Me too." She whispered, making me look at her in surprise. "Don't look at me like that." She lightly chuckled, taking the keys out of the ignition to play with them. Looking up and out the window my sister chewed on her bottom lip.

Her dark curls were loose today falling around her shoulders hiding the side of her face from me. My sister was gorgeous and her outfit of choice was sexy as normal and seemed kind of too cold to wear but Siannah was always warm. She wore mostly black. Black ripped skinny jeans with a long sleeve turtleneck crop top. A black and green plaid shirt tied around her waist and black timberland boots. Her belly button piercing on display along with the tattoo on her hip. The jacket over it all was a simple dark green jacket but the walk to our apartment from the parking lot was short in her defense.

"I didn't want to like him, Kat. I really didn't."

"Why not?" I spoke as softly as she was. "The feeling is mutual for him."

"If I continue to let myself fall then I'll be in love with him before I know it."

"Si." I covered her hand.

She turned to me with tears in her own eyes. "I can not fall in love with Tyler, Savannah. I have plans after graduation that don't involve him. I have to keep myself focused so I can save up for this tattoo convention in a few weeks. Chuck is taking whoever wants to go and hopefully I'll get noticed by Kingston Shepard."

"Why can't that involve Tyler?"

"Because he's going to go to the NHL and I'm going to Wisconsin. He wants to be with me because I'm a challenge for him but I've already fallen head first Kat. I'm just trying to stay above water and make sure he doesn't find out." Her smile was small but genuine. "I know how you feel Savannah, trust me. I support you in whatever you decide but my best advice is to take it one day at a time and if you can't focus on anything else then call him. He'll understand that you're scared."

Leaning over the armrest I wrapped myself around my sister holding her tight. I was happy that she was honest about her feelings. This was the first guy I had ever heard her feel this way about. My thoughts had always been that she was happy being casual with someone. That commitment wasn't her thing, yet it seemed like Tyler pushed past that. I wanted to be happy about the possible serious relationship that could come from this but it seemed like serious was the opposite of how Kit wanted it to go.

Grabbing our bags from the backseat we walked up to our apartment slowing down noticing that two people were standing outside of our door. Dressed in dark jeans, a plaid jacket over a black hoodie, and Jordans, Reid wore his black snapback backwards blowing out a stream of smoke to the left of him.

Tyler stood near him layered in a black jacket over a gray hoodie, blue jeans, and white Huaraches. Their heads turned towards us as we came to the top step, the sound of Jia and Tink's voice echoing down the hall.

Reid gave a wolf whistle tossing his cigarette bud to the ground. "Hello ladies." His voice was smooth like butter.

"Hey Reid. Hey Tyler." I smiled with a friendly wave.

"Hey Savannah." Tyler looked past me. "What the hell are you wearing Cupcake? It's cold as fuck out here."

"I'm wearing whatever the hell I want to, Tyler." Siannah narrowed her eyes at him.

"Mm, friends." Reid stood noticing my friends behind me.

Introducing Jia and Tink to Reid and Tyler, Siannah's friend Carmen came a few seconds later apologizing for being late. We all walked inside as Nate set the mop against the wall walking over to Siannah and I giving us a hug and an update on what was wrong and everything that had been put back in place. 

"The place really looks great Nate, thanks." Siannah said, taking off her jacket. Removing my jacket as well I fought back a giggling while Tyler hungrily watched my sister.

"You know Jones didn't do all the work alone." Reid stepped forward placing his hand on Siannah's bare waist. "I accept all gratitude with less clothing." Just as he finished his sentence Si elbowed him in the gut making him step back rubbing his stomach. "You know I like that kinky shit girl." He leaned forward to kiss her cheek when Tyler slapped the shaven part of his head.

"Stop before she kills you. Nice meeting you ladies." He said to Tink, Jia, and Carmen. "We're out Jones."

"I'm out too."

"Carter!"

"Pleasure meeting you ladies." Reid winked leaving the apartment first.

Hearing footsteps from the hall goosebumps brushed across my skin. My body knew it was him. It wanted to run to him and wrap itself around him with kisses and hungry touches. I wanted to move but couldn't.

He was dressed warm like everyone else with a gray hoodie that read Navy, dark jeans, and Timberlands, his brown hair was pulled away from his face in the loose bun he wears often. "All the towels are . . ." The sentence hung in the air as his green eyes found mine.

Disregarding the soft murmur of voices in the background my thoughts were focused on what to say to Jace. I was supposed to have time to think of how to word everything yet here he was watching me, waiting for me to explain myself. Before I knew what was happening my mouth opened and I blurted out, "It wasn't a mistake." Hearing a gentle click, I glanced behind me at the closed front door and the empty apartment except for Jace and I. "I-I uh . . . I mean um."

"What's going on with you?" He stepped forward hesitantly. "Why have you been avoiding me?"

"It wasn't a mistake, Jace. It wasn't . . . you. It's me."

"You're seriously hitting me with it's not you it's me bullshit? Come on Sweets."

"I'm not - look, I'm scared okay? I'm - ugh!" Rubbing my eyes I adjusted my glasses reminding myself to breathe. "You are well known, Jace. Like well known."

"You don't think -"

"I'm not done." I held up my hand to stop him from talking or moving any closer. "What we did was great - amazing. It was something I've never had before, I mean obviously but, I don't regret it. It was beautiful and I'm glad that you were my first."

"Then why did you ghost me?"

"Because I got scared that you - that I was -"

"I figured." Jace shook his head grabbing his jacket from over the couch. "After a few days it finally hit me. You thought that my compliments were just to get in your pants. That I invited you to crash at my house just so I could find a chance to fuck you."

"You said that was your plan in the beginning!"

"That was before I fell for you!"

He . . . he wanted me? Jace wanted me the same way I wanted him?

Running his hand through his hair, he pulled out the unsecure bun. "We both know that I was trying to sleep with you, yes, but that was in the beginning. Sweets, I swear to you that the night I took your virginity wasn't just some quick nut so I could add you as a body count. You have to believe me baby girl, please." Having to lift my head to see him I didn't notice that with each pause of breath, he took a step forward until he was in front of me.

When I was partnered with Jace Carter I never thought that he would be the one who would take my virginity. I never thought that he would be my first guy best friend. That I would make friendship jewelry with him. That he would come to the rescue when my apartment flooded. I didn't want to be the girl that fell for him. To be the one to confess just like so many before me and I sure as heck didn't want to blink and his friends burst through the door with their phones out recording.

Feeling the brush of his hand against my cheek Jace rubbed over my freckles making my eyes flutter close. "You mean so much to me Sweets." His lips pressed against mine light and gentle with care.

Grabbing his hoodie I pulled him closer standing on my toes to reach him better. I needed more, so much more wanting him to know that I felt the same. With a bend to his knees Jace lifted me in the air moving us down the hall that seemed like miles away.

Impatient with his slow pace I pulled away, turning around to look at how much further we needed to go, instantly smacking my head on the top of the door frame. "Ow!"

"What the hell? Are you okay?"

Covering my face my head throbbed in pain. "Ow." I groaned feeling my feet being placed on the ground.

"Sit down and let me see."

"No, don't look at me." Swatting his hands away I wanted to wrap myself in the blanket and disappear. Getting in the bed I rolled away from Jace touching my forehead gently feeling the welt begin to form.

"Don't be like that Sweets. Maybe your doors should be taller." He chuckled.

"Maybe you shouldn't be a giant." I mumbled.

"Let me see. Are you bleeding?"

"No."

"I need to see for myself."

"Not so you can laugh at me, no."

My shoulder was pulled until I was flat on my back as tears of embarrassment threatened to spill. "You still look beautiful to me. Even with a pulsing log on your forehead."

"That's not funny Jace!" I smacked his arm, turning my back towards him again. Felling my shoulder being pulled I kept resisting until the bed shifted and my last bit of oxygen came out in a huff. "Jace whatever your middle name is Carter . . . Get! Off!" Flapping my wrist back and forth I tried to hit him.

Pulling my glasses from my face he folded them carefully then placed them on my nightstand. "You're going to break your glasses leaning on them like that." Feeling my curls move away from my face I couldn't help but feel slightly insecure while he stared at me resting his chin on my shoulder tracing the mark from the door. "Thurman."

"Who?"

"My middle name is Thurman, after my god-dad. He was the one in the Navy."

"The one that gave you the necklace?"

Jace nodded his head when both of our phones went off. Groaning as he rolled off of me I tried to discreetly roll my pained shoulder from his body weight smiling at our little moment.

Taking out his phone he frowned looking at the screen. "Shit."

"What's wrong?" I ask, grabbing my cell, turning off the alarm I set for meeting with my new photography partner.

"It's my dad," he groaned, "and I really don't want to answer."

"So don't." Getting off the bed I grabbed my camera bag double checking everything making sure it was all there.

I was excited for the shoot. I had a few new poses that I wanted to try and some others that worked with the other partners. Getting ready for the shoot was the nerve racking part. You wanted to make sure you had everything and remind yourself of what you didn't or you would over pack.

Zipping the bag closed I checked my phone once more ready to do what I love, yet there was a part of me that didn't want to leave Jace. The way he tapped his phone I knew there was a story as to why he always avoided talking about his father.

His cell had stopped ringing, making him sigh for a brief moment before the screen lit again and the ringing continued. Placing my hand on his wrist, I lowered the phone from sight. "Why don't you want to answer?"

"I'm tired of hearing how much of a disappointment I am to him regardless that I'm back with the team."

Wrapping my arms around his torso I held him as tight as I could, happy that the ringing stopped. "Even if my opinion doesn't matter, I never thought you were a disappointment, Jace Thurman Carter."

"You're amazing Sweets." He kissed the top of my head answering when his phone went off again. "Yeah Dad."

Whispering a goodbye to each other we left the apartment at the same time. Opening the door to step outside, Siannah leaned against the wall smiling tiredly when I jumped at her presence. Tossing her car keys without another word she shut the front door behind her with a mumbled, drive safe.

Getting to the hockey stadium with fifteen minutes to spare, I headed straight for the rink pausing at the top of the steps looking over the white crisp ice. There was a light chill in the air that was welcoming to my heart.

It was easy to visualize myself on the bleachers cheering on Jace. Thoughts of his father came to me making me wonder what he looked like. Did he and Jace share the same Granny Smith colored eyes? Did they smile the same? Did they both have long silky hair like chocolate?

"Savannah Thomas." Turning around, Mateo smiled at me as he slowed to a stop. "It's always a pleasure seeing you."

"Mateo Cruise." I extended my hand in greeting. "Thanks again for giving me a lift to the fair. You should definitely go next year if you're still in the city. It's so much fun."

"I'm sure it is." He pocketed his hands. "So, it's finally my turn to be paired with the best of the best." His smile widened. "I'm excited."

"Me too." Adjusting my bag I asked what all he was comfortable with. I didn't want to make him do anything he didn't want to do. We talked about the different places within the stadium I wanted to go for pictures. I even told him it would be okay for him to play music from his phone to help him relax.

"How come I've never seen you until this year? It's like you popped up out of thin air."

Shrugging my shoulders I told him that I prefer hiding in the library. "Or maybe you just ignored me."

"I've been to the library several times and never once saw someone with this beautiful ginger hair before." He reached out to twirl a curl around his finger. "My pride wouldn't allow me to let you walk by without speaking."

"Hm." I stepped out of his reach to grab the spray bottle for the first pose. "I'm sure. Are you okay with being shirtless?"

"Of course." He pulled his shirt over his head before I could ask him to remove it.

Asking if he was okay with me touching his torso, I spritzed his hair and face a little as well as his body wanting him to have the after a hard workout look. Setting the water bottle back down I handed over his hockey stick kneeling on the ground to tilt the camera towards him.

"You're doing amazing Mateo." I complimented after his seventh pose. We were in the hallway finishing up now that almost an hour had passed. "Now look to your left for me. Great." I clicked the camera several more times.

"Savannah, can I ask why you're single?"

Getting off the floor with a brush to my knees I shrugged my shoulders taking apart the camera to put away. "Having a boyfriend was never my main concern."

"But it is now?"

"Excuse me?"

"No offense." He stepped back with raised hands and a smirk. "You're the one hanging with Carter and his friends."

"And?"

"They're my teammates, remember? I know how they act and I know what goes on at The Caretakers. Everyone does."

"What are you trying to say Mateo?" I questioned, getting irritated.

Setting his hockey stick aside he grabbed his shirt pulling it over his head. "I'm not saying anything. I'm only suggesting that you hangout with other people."

"Like you?"

"Exactly." He slipped his jacket on stepping closer to me. Gently pulling a curl that was wrapped around my glasses awkwardly free, he thanked me for the fun shoot then grabbed his things and left.

Pushing aside the awkward encounter, I was much too excited to edit the pictures once I returned home. But first, I had a sweet tooth for ice-cream. Taking a left as I exited the stadium I drove to Just Lick It needing just a few minutes to myself before I zoned in on editing.

Ordering two scoops of cotton candy I asked Vick to hold the order while I grabbed my camera and laptop deciding to edit at the shop. Taking a seat getting everything ready, I took a bite of ice-cream letting it melt on my tongue while my laptop loaded.

The next time I paused to check the time, almost two hours had passed. Rolling my head side to side I cracked my finger knuckles, shaking out my wrists before going back to editing. The photoshoot with Mateo went well. He had a photogenic face much like my other partners and he was willing to do all the poses I asked for, even tossing some ideas out to me. The only problem that didn't sit well with me was the way he spoke about Jace and his friends.

Seeing a cup of cookies and cream ice-cream slide into my peripheral followed by a rose covered hand, I smiled up to Reid. "Hey."

"Hey." He returned the smile taking the seat across from me.

"You just got here?"

"Nah, I've been here for a minute." He replied, stirring around his cookies and cream. "Just got done -"

"With a date?"

"Sure." He laughed. "Let's go with that. What are you doing this weekend?"

"Usually editing. If not then baking maybe, why? Are you putting in an order for cupcakes?"

Reid stopped stirring his ice-cream raising his eyes to mine with a look I've caught him giving to every other girl. My eyes widened as heat rushed to my cheeks watching him lick his lips. Woah.

"You definitely have cupcakes that I want to taste Savannah but I don't think you're ready for me. Also," he sat back in his chair, "Jace is like a brother to me and I'd rather not have my face punched in." He rubbed over his jaw. "Face reconstruction isn't within my budget."

"Original cupcakes weren't frosted. They were usually served with dried fruit or spices." Reid watched me with a raised brow and a smirk. "Just a fun fact." I shrugged trying to be less awkward.

"Jace is right."

"About?"

"Your blush is sexy."

"Reid." I groaned covering my face.

Leaning forward he asked me to come to the upcoming hockey game. "Thought I'd ask you since Jace is in a mood and I know he would want you to come. You can drop by the locker room beforehand if you want to secretly give me a good luck kiss. I'm not opposed."

"Didn't you just say -"

"Plus," he stretched above his head standing up, "I wouldn't mind seeing you and your sister wear some hockey gear. Give me some nice memories to keep me warm at night."

With a knuckle rap to the table and a wink, Reid left me to blush until my ears were hot. His unfiltered words were worse than Jace's but I knew that he was joking . . . maybe.

Unlocking my cell I pulled up Jace's contact typing out a message to ask if he was okay. Watching as it said delivered I stared at the word for what felt like minutes waiting for the three dots to pop up or at least for it to say read but nothing happened. Closing my laptop down I asked Vick for a lid for the rest of my ice-cream. I was ready to call it a night and power down myself.

Once I returned home after a much needed shower, I fell on my bed in a huff untucking my towel from beneath me. Grabbing my phone as it vibrated on the nightstand I opened the unread text.

{Jace}: I wasn't ignoring you Sweets. My dad got the best of me and I needed to blow some steam off. Reid beat me to inviting you to the game but I hope to still see you in the stands. Call you tomorrow. Night

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