"Why couldn't I be normal?" I used to ask myself.

I used to cry, and wallow in self pity over the fact that I seemed to be different from others and my ideal self.

It wasn't until now that I realised, I was normal from the start. I was the one who made myself "abnormal".

And I regret it.

If only I could turn back time and live my life again.

I'm sure I wouldn't be as broken as I am now.

With nails bitten to the stumps, teeth ground till short, almost non-existent.

Face scratched at due to pimples.

A weak determination and a rotten personality.

"Why can't I be normal?" I once asked myself.

Now, I can answer.

"I'm the one who made me this way. The only thing standing in the way is myself."

I can never be normal.

And that's because of me.