S O P H I A

A few months later..

"Okay, thank you. I'll be there in about a few hours."

I end the call with another thank you and a goodbye, tiredly sighing at the much needed work I had. I only had under an hour to fully pack my whole house, and it would take another hour to get to my new town.

I was finally leaving this pathetic town where I would attend a new school until I graduate. It was also a good starting point in leaving my past behind and looking towards my future.

I grab my phone again and check the time, cussing silently at the time I had wasted complaining. I quickly make my way towards the front of the house and continue my well-needed packing.

However, on the way, I spot a few of the packed boxes laying amongst the front door, with most of my valuables scrambled across the floor.

I sigh rather loudly through my nose, quickly running towards the boxes to pack everything that have fallen out of the boxes.

I hurriedly check every other room, mentally pleased that I had packed nearly every part of each one. I never knew the amount of work that was placed on my shoulders when moving.

I continue to scavenge through the other rooms, throwing in everything that I needed to take with me. Now was the time that I really wished I had someone to help me through my packing phase.

I stop in the middle of the hallway, examining the house that I had grown up in for the last time. Despite all the various insightful memories that I'd wished I could delete from my memory, I still couldn't help but feel vulnerable that I was going to leave everything behind. But times change and now was a good time to accept that and move forward.

After what seemed like hours, a beep is heard from outside, right when I pull in the last of my many boxes. I pull open the front door and watch a burly man walk outside of his car, his bald head dripping with sweat, reflecting from the harsh sunlight.

We were able to successfully pack up my boxes and items into his trunk in just over half an hour. I thank him progressively for his help, not missing the annoyed expression that was accentuated on his face.

I check my check list once more, happy with the succession of packing up the whole house in a matter of time.

The "sold" sign hangs limply in the front yard, reminding me of the reality of leaving this town forever. I wasn't expecting any goodbyes or farewells from anyone, since I had no one left.

I wasn't one to suddenly make friends all of a sudden. Some people inquired respectable social skills whilst others didn't. Some people were momentarily approachable whilst others had labels imprinted to their foreheads that read leave me the hell alone.

I accepted the latter, mainly because I was one not to uphold any sorts of relationships and inquiries with anyone.

But some things can easily come to an end.

I look outside of the window, situating myself comfortably to get one more glance of the life I was leaving behind. Many unforgettable memories were created here, but the majority of them were ones I wished I could erase.

My little two-story house lies in front of me. It's simplistic nature was one I would not forget. I would always remember coming home everyday with my father after school, running across the footpath to the front verandah where my mother would be swinging on the swinging chair, reading her favourite book and drinking her cup of coffee.

I could visibly see my young self running around the front yard, remembering all the times I had spent with my family. This place allowed me to laugh, cry, talk, smile. All of which was now a distant memory of my past.

The streets were put together for the multiple houses that were all spread along one road. Their superficial exteriors were the ultimate reasons why anyone would have a more simplistic life, where one might be accepted for a particular disorder or be treated the same as anyone else, despite their race.

But all in all, some things can easily be mistaken.

The taxi begins to move forward and I place my cheek against the window, watching the house before me disperse into thin air, creating a new far-away memory.

I watch as many of the familiar shops all disappear before me. My favourite cupcake store was situated amongst the others, with its brightly coloured walls that created a simplistic environment. People hurrying across the pavement, little children running across the playground.

It couldn't get any worse, as I had finally come across her house. I bite my lip hesitantly and see Alyse standing there, her silhouette patiently awaiting my arrival.

It was something that she had retained, a daily routine for her. She would wait alone by her doorsteps for me, entering the car with either a new Victoria's Secret voucher or a Starbucks discount. Her loveable character always brightened up my day and she made me look forward to waking up every day.

Her house disappeared amongst the others, along with her soul.

Her now hopeless and useless soul.

I couldn't believe I didn't visit her grave for the last time.

How could I have been so selfish?

I call the taxi driver and politely ask him to stop on the side. Once he finally finds a spot, I rush out with a quick thank you, carrying my luggage along with me.

I was lucky enough to have been dropped off near her cemetery, which was only a maximum 5 minute walk from here.

~*~

The doors of the rusty gate squeak open loudly, its lifeless state suggesting that no one ever comes through here.

I look up towards the sky and watch as it becomes covered by thick blankets of dark, grey clouds.

I knew it was going to rain and I would get completely soaked, but in this moment, I didn't really care.

Making my way towards her grave, I fiddle hesitantly with my fingers. The depressing era wasn't helping at all with my worried state.

Walking past dead souls that lie before me quickens my heart rate. It was as if they were looking past the soil and examining my every moves.

I knew what it felt like to be judged.

Finally coming across her spot, I look downwards. The fresh soil mounted at the top, the long, dead grass covering its exterior. The loneliness we both felt.

I realised that no words were imprinted on her stonewall, making it seem like she had no place in this world.

I didn't have anything written before me to say, but I knew what she wanted to hear.

"Hey, Alyse. Long time no see, huh? I'm sorry I haven't been visiting you lately. I've just been so caught up with school and life in general. But guess what? We finally did it! We've finally graduated high school! No more waking up early in the mornings to complete our homework that was due that same day in first period. Or no more rushing to the library to print off our assignments last minute. It's all over now."

I look down towards my feet and sigh, knowing I had to finish this.

"If you were here right now Alyse, you would have screamed out so loudly and yelled out every possible swear word you could think of to the teachers and the students. You wouldn't stop talking about your future as an author. You'd want everyone to know that no matter what, you'd get there. You'd be begging us to get you the latest Victoria Secret's accessories or getting you a Starbucks discount. You'd want nothing more than to prove to the world that you mean something...But your not here, Alyse. Your gone. If it weren't for my stupid and unnecessary behaviour, you wouldn't be dead! And I'm so fucken sorry I killed you, Alyse!"

By now, I'm visibly shaking, the guilt eating away at my insides, slowly and painfully. Fresh tears trail down my cheeks at a rapid pace, the little droplets landing on top of her.

I was fully crying now, the pain never subsiding but only intensifying.

"I'm so sorry." I whisper quietly.

I quickly drop down towards the ground and take out a notepad and a pen I find in my backpack.

"You promised me you would always love me and that I would always be loved. I hope you keep your promise."

I crawl forward and stand the piece of paper against the stone head, indicating who she was since no one else bothered to acknowledge her.

Alyse.

~*~