Standing on my own feet
Is a luxury I can't seem to quite enjoy
For the sadness making up my skin
Hardens and wraps itself around my bones
Like gauze wrapped around a wounded leg

My heart told me
That should my pen fall to the ground
Then my blood will paint the walls
Sweep the floor
And dust the furniture
And all these words will be meaningless
Safely wedged between
A crack on the bathroom wall

A crack only I know about
Gathering dust
And housing insects
The words must be fading
A speck of ink at a time
Much like how my confidence
Leaves soon after it comes
A few minutes after my first stanza
Has flown out of my mouth

And I'm left with a sizzling sensation
One only gets after they have wet their pants
Under the scrutiny of expectant eyes
Waiting like vultures
To attack as soon as I run

My significance equals that of the papers
I keep stashed in a place only I know about
Life is no fairytale
If anything it is a nightmare
One watches like a TV program
Then cameras flash and demand action
An imitation of the horror you witnessed
As though they are testing the quality of your memory

Life is no fairytale
It is thorns
It is broken bottles when you have no shoes on
It is guns firing when you were just asking how a bullet proof vest is used
It is tears streaming out in public with no tissues around
It is the heavy shame of having to carry home
Wet trousers on your hips
While an audience parts for you
Like a glorified loser
No fairytale at all