I opened my suitcase to look for socks that didn't retain their shape and the first thing I saw was a black and white converse. I pulled it out and held it up.
"Who's shoe is this and why is it in my suitcase?" I asked no one in particular.
"That's mine. I've been looking for it since yesterday." Zack responded, taking the shoe from me.
"Keep it out of my suitcase?" I asked.
"I make no promises." He gave me a playful smile and I stuck my tongue out him. The bus came to a stop.
"We're here!" Alex yelled. Everyone walked off the bus. The guys, including Leo, helped with the unloading of the equipment and I stood to side watching. Normally I would've helped, but Jack forbid me from heavy lifting because I was pregnant. I was wearing one of Jack's sweaters again. More for warmth that time though. After unloading was rehearsal which turned into goofing off and then the six of us, Bryan and Ashley, the photographer, sat in the green room and they played Dirty Laundry. I didn't plan on singing, but I started singing in the second verse and when they finished playing none of them said anything about.
Next thing I knew it was almost time for the concert. We were all back stage. They were playing pop music very loudly and dancing like morons. And by they I mean Alex, Jack and Rian. Leo and I were watching them and laughing.
"Why do we put up with them?" I asked him. He looked at them and smiled. It took him awhile, but he warmed up to them. He was starting to understand that this was his family now. That they cared about him just as much as they cared about me. I grabbed his hand with one of mine and rested the other on my baby bump.
"I have no idea." He looked at me. "But I'm glad we do." I looked back at the three of them dancing, laughing, being them.
"Me too." Alex grabbed Jack's hand and spun him around before dipping him and then laughing hysterically. Jack tried to stand, but lost his footing and fell flat on his back.
"Ow. Fuck that hurt."
"I'm s-" Alex couldn't even finish the sentence he was laughing so hard.
"You guys are idiots." I said which only made Alex laugh harder. I smiled. "But I love you guys a lot. I don't know what I'd-what we'd do with out you." I looked down and rested a hand on my baby bump. Suddenly there were arms around me and my face was buried in Jack's chest.
"We love you too." He mumbled into my hair and then began dancing around with me as a new song started. That song ended and Christmas music started. Jack began to lip sync dramatically to White Christmas. Alex pulled me away from Jack and Jack grabbed Zack's hand and started slow dancing with him. Leo pulled me away from Alex. I put my hands on his shoulders and rested his on my hips. We swayed slightly to the music. He rested his forehead on mine and closed his eyes.
"Five minute warning." Someone yelled.
"I'm dreaming of a white Christmas!" Jack sang back.
"Shut up, Jack!" The person responded. We all fell into fits of laughter.
That was the last show before Christmas. We were in London. It was cold and rainy. We didn't care.
——
I could only vaguely remember a Christmas with my family. Music, lights, presents, the tree. It was all just hazy memories, but that Christmas with my new family I still remember. We were in a hotel, unfortunately, but they bought a small fake tree and we all got gifts for each other and Christmas morning we all gathered in mine and Jack's room. We ordered room service, we opened gifts. I got an assortment of band merch and cds as well as an instant camera and a heart shaped necklace from Jack that said All my love on the front and For all you are on the back. We ate copious amounts of cinnamon rolls and bacon and then Alex went back to his room to FaceTime with Lisa. Ashley and Bryan joined us around lunchtime. That's when they broke out the acoustics and played a few Christmas songs. We ordered more room service and way too much alcohol at supper time. By eight I had three ridiculously drunk men, two moderately drunk men and a slightly tipsy woman killing themselves laughing on the floor of the hotel room. I grabbed a few things from my suitcase and Leo and I went back to his and Zack's room and left them to their little Christmas party. I sat one the beds in their room and read for awhile. Leo laid on the other bed and put his headphones to listen to music. I read and listened to music before talking and eventually singing to my baby. I was still terrified about having a baby, but I knew I wouldn't be alone. I would have my dad and Leo and Zack and Alex and Rian.
"Our lives are made in these small hours. These little wonders, these twist and turns of fate time falls away, but these small hours still remain." I sang while rocking from side to side.  This baby would be loved and cared for. I was loved and cared for. I wanted a family and I got one in the most unconventional way possible, but I don't care anymore. I love it, I love them.
Family Christmas. That's what it was. It was different and weird, but so are we. And we wouldn't want it any other way.

Shoutout to Animebvbemo and user326444112030 thanks for reading!