The second week of April Jack asked me if I wanted to go to Hawaii for the rest of the month to surprise Zack and Leo for their birthdays, their birthdays were two days apart. I said yes, of course and two days later we were flying out. I was nauseous the entire time. I never threw up, but I felt like it. It sucked.
"Baby girl, you're killing me." I said while rubbing my stomach. I tried reading to get my mind off my stomach, but it didn't work. In fact it made the nausea worse. Eventually I laid my head back and closed my eyes.
  When we finally landed and got off the plane I lost all the contents of my stomach into a trash can. While I stood there heaving Jack attempted to assure people that I was fine. Just a little motion sickness. Then we went to baggage claim and waited for our bags. I stood back, feeling like death, and let Jack get them.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Jack asked when he came back with our suitcases. I nodded weakly.
"I just really need to lie down and maybe nibble on some crackers." He nodded and lead the way outside where we got an Uber to take us to Zack's place. Zack lived in an apartment in a nice looking building with a view of the ocean. Pretty much every building in Hawaii has a view of the ocean, but whatever. We rode up in the elevator and I had try really hard not to vomit again. I leaned against Jack and closed my eyes. He rubbed my back. Then the elevator stopped and we started down the hall in search of Zack's apartment. We found it and Jack knocked. The door opened Zack stood there. Jack was grinning like an idiot.
"What are you guys doing here?" Zack asked.
"Happy birthday!" Jack yelled.
"Happy birthday." I said weakly. Zack looked at me and concern covered his face.
"Are you okay?"
"Pregnancy and planes do not mix well."
"Oh. Well come in." Jack walked in and I followed dragging my suitcase since he didn't. I kicked off my sneakers and then laid down on the couch. I closed my eyes, wrapped my arms around myself and rolled over so I was facing the back of the couch. Someone put a blanket over me and Jack kissed my head. I smiled and murmured, "Love you, Dad."
"Love you too, Baby girl." Shortly after that I drifted off.
I woke a little later to silence. I sat up and stretched.
"Feeling better?" I turned and looked at Zack who was sitting at the table with Leo.
"A bit. Where's Dad?"
"Sleeping." I nodded.
"Do you have some crackers I could eat?"
"Maybe." He stood and started rummaging through cabinets. "Or maybe not. I have bread though. Would toast be okay?"
"Mmhm." When my toast was ready he buttered it and brought it to me on a plate. "Thanks." I said and took the plate. He sat down beside me while I ate. I stopped mid bite when I felt Baby Girl kick. I gasped and choked on the toast in my mouth.
"Are you okay?" I coughed and nodded, then grabbed his hand and pressed it against my stomach. She kicked again, he smiled. "First time she's kicked?"
"Yeah. I mean she moves around sometimes, like readjusting, but that's a lot less noticeable." She kicked again. "Kinda wish Dad was up."
"Want me to get him?" Leo came and sat on my other side. I took his hand and placed it on my baby bump.
"We should probably let him sleep."
"I don't think he'd mind being woken up for this." I nodded slowly. Baby Girl kicked again, harder this time and then decided to push directly on my bladder.
"I gotta pee." I said and attempted to stand up. "You didn't really need to know that." Leo smiled and I giggled. He stood and pulled me to my feet. I did a weird half waddle to the bathroom. When I came out Jack, Leo and Zack were standing in the kitchen.
"Zack told me she's kicking!" Jack said, excitement evident in his voice.
"She was. She's kinda stopped now." Not a second after I said that did she kick again. I grabbed Jack's hand and rested it on my stomach. We stood there for close to five minutes waiting for her to kick again. "Huh. She must've gone to sleep." Jack just started to pull his hand away when Baby Girl kicked and squirmed around. Jack giggled.
"Oh my god!" He giggled when she kicked again, "That must feel so weird." I nodded. She fell still after that and Jack took his hand off my stomach. He ran his fingers through his hair and then yawned. I yawned too.
"I'm hungry." Jack said.
"I'm tired." I mumbled and emphasized my point by yawning again.
"You can go lay down on my bed if you want." Leo offered. I nodded and ground the heels of my hands into my eyes.
"I think I'll take you up on that offer." I went in his room and crawled into the bed. I slept for about an hour and woke to the sound of a guitar. I sat up and stretched my arms. Then I heard singing. From both of Jack and Zack. I didn't recognize the song, but it sounded like one of theirs. I slid off the bed and walked over to the door. I opened it as quietly as I could and tiptoed down the hall. I smiled when I came in sight of the living room. They were sitting facing each other on the couch. Zack had an acoustic guitar in his lap. They were both singing and smiling. They finished the song, Jack went red in the face and covered his face with hands. Zack laughed. Leo was sitting in the chair with his legs over the arm of it. He had earbuds in and his eyes closed. And that's when Jack finally saw me.
"Have a good nap?" He asked.
"Yeah." I said while walking into the kitchen to get a glass of water. I turned on the faucet and stuck the cup into the stream of water.
"Wanna go for a walk?" Leo asked, stepping up behind so only I could hear.
"Sure. You can show me Hawaii."
"I haven't seen much of it yet."
"Then we'll explore together." I smiled and he returned it before giving me a chaste kiss on the lips.
——
A week later was Zack's birthday. Since I was the first one up I made breakfast. It wasn't amazing, but given what I had to work with I think I did a pretty good job. I made scrambled eggs with onions and green pepper and cheese as well as toast and I sliced up an orange too. Then I made coffee before getting them up. I knocked on Zack's bedroom door. Unfortunately Zack's apartment only had two bedrooms so Jack was sleeping on the couch and I slept on the loveseat. Zack and Leo offered me their beds, but neither could even lay down all the way on the couch and sitting upright made it a bit easier for me to sleep so with much persuasion I was the one sleeping on the couch. A few seconds after I knocked it was opened by shirtless Zack who had wet hair.
"Morning." He said with a smile.
"Good morning. Happy birthday!"
"Thanks."
"I made breakfast." I told him.
"You didn't have to do that." Zack said. I shrugged.
"I wanted to, I never got you a birthday gift so you get breakfast instead."
"Wow what a trade off. I didn't get you a gift, but you can have something you would've had anyway." Jack said from behind me. I stuck my tongue out at him.
"It's the best I can do."
"I'm sure it's great." Zack assured me. He walked out of the room and I followed. Jack walked around the couch and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. Leo came out of his room about then.
"You know I'm just messing with you." Jack said and kissed the side of my head.
"I know."
After breakfast Jack informed me that he and and Zack were going out and would be back to get me and Leo around lunchtime. A half hour later they finally left. I took a much needed bath and then cleaned up the kitchen. While cleaning Leo and I got talking about Hawaii.
"It's nice, don't get me wrong, it just isn't home."
"You'll get used to it eventually. Besides you'll spend more time touring than you will here." He nodded. Then he went to take a shower. For some unknown reason thinking about home made me think about Baby girl which made me realize how close my due date was.
  Long story short I worked myself into a panic attack on the kitchen floor and that's where Jack and Zack found me when they got back because they got back before Leo was out of the bathroom. I was sitting there, arms around my baby bump, crying and struggling to breathe. The door opened, but I didn't look over.
"Baby g-Oh my god!" Jack ran over and knelt in front of me. "Baby girl, look at me." He cupped my face in both hands and made me look at him. "Deep breaths. Come on. In and out. Deep breaths." I tried to mimic him, but I couldn't. He kept taking deep breaths and I kept trying until eventually it wasn't so hard to breathe. I was rocking back and forth gently and crying still. Jack moved so he was sitting beside me and wrapped his arms around me. Zack, who'd been standing behind Jack, took a seat on my other side. Leo took Zack's place in front of me. After a few minutes I stopped crying and started hiccuping.
"I-I'm s-s-sorry." I mumbled into Jack's chest.
"It's okay."
"I've been in your position many times." Zack said.
"Yeah. Kneeling on the floor and going through the whole deep breaths thing was making me think of our first concert. In that theater. Remember?" Jack responded.
"Yeah. That was definitely one of the worst."
"I actually thought you were gonna pass out. You wouldn't take deep breaths and I was starting to freak out because you wouldn't listen." Zack chuckled. "If it hadn't been for Rian I think I would've had a panic attack too."
"Do realize how long it's been since I've had one though? It's gotta be going on six or seven years now." Zack added.
"Sorry I'm ruining your birthday." I glanced at Zack.
"You're not ruining anything."
"Are you sure?" He smiled and nodded.
"What got you all worked up?" Jack asked.
"Baby girl, mostly." I sighed and rubbed my baby bump. "I just got thinking about how close my due date is and realized that I'm not ready for this. At all." Jack pulled me closer to him and kissed the top of my head.
"I know you aren't, but I'm gonna be right here to help you."
"Me too." Zack added and grabbed my hand. I smiled.
"I'll be here too." Leo whispered. I smiled at him and his face went pink.
"Thank you. All of you." We sat there in silence for a few minutes before Jack asked,
"Are you still up to going out?"
"Mmhm. I need a couple minutes to fix my face, but yeah." I pulled away from Jack and wiped at my face. I tried to push myself into a standing position, but couldn't. I huffed and pouted.
"Help?" I asked and looked at Jack. He chuckled and stood. He grabbed my hands and pulled into a standing position.
"Thank you."
"No problem." I gave him a hug and then gave one to Leo before I headed to the bathroom to see just how bad I looked. I splashed cold water on my face and dried it before applying a little bit of makeup to hide the fact that I'd been crying. It kind of worked. It hadn't really occurred to me how different I looked at six months pregnant. I had gained a lot of weight, I knew that of course I'd had to buy a shit ton of clothes not long before, but my face was rounder than I remembered.
When I opened the bathroom door I could hear Zack and Jack talking. Reminiscing. They were talking about old concerts and their first tours and meeting people they'd idolized since they were kids. I walked into the kitchen. Jack was sitting on the island and Zack was leaning against the opposite counter. Leo was sitting at the table messing with the sleeves of his sweater.
"Ready?" Zack asked when he saw me. I smiled and nodded.
"Yup." It sort of hit me in that moment, they were my family. And as long as I was with them it didn't matter where I was. Whether we were on tour or at home. I was ready. For my baby, for whatever life threw at me. I was ready because I knew I wouldn't be alone.
They were my family.
They were my home.

Thoughts on the rewrite so far?