Rewritten
I finally had a call from Allison. Leo was fine. He was on suicide watch for the next few days and then he could go home. I asked if I could talk to him, but she said he hadn't been talking to anyone. I cried.
I told them that I was up to singing, but that was a lie. I was in no frame of mind to try and sing. But when it was time for Time-bomb I was handed a mic. Unlike all the previous shows I walked out instead of ran. I walked out and stood beside Zack. They started playing and Alex started singing. I didn't join him. I couldn't make my mouth open. I stared at the crowd for a few seconds longer and then dropped the mic and ran off stage. No one followed me, but I knew they would've if they could. I went back to the dressing room. I sat down on the couch and tried to keep myself from crying. I heard the door open and looked up to see a boy around my age.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know anyone was one here. Are you okay?" I shook my head and put my head in my hands. I started to cry then. Shockingly the boy came and sat down beside me. He wrapped his arm around me.
"I don't know what's made you upset, but I'm sorry." I started to cry harder. After a few minutes the boy got up and walked out then came back with a bottle of water telling me that all the crying would make me dehydrated. And that's the last thing I remember before waking up in a hospital bed with Alex, Zack and Rian sleeping on the couch and Jack sitting in the chair beside me. He had his head in his hands and looked both angry and sad at the same time. I had no idea what was going on or why I was in a hospital bed.
"What happened?" I asked, softly so as not to wake Alex, Zack and Rian. Jack looked up at me. His eyes were bloodshot. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. We just stayed like that. It was dark outside. I didn't know what time it was or how long I'd been out. A short while later Alex woke with a start and scared Rian who fell off the couch and woke up Zack in the process. All three of them crowded around the bed when they noticed I was awake. They were all talking at the same time saying things like, 'I'm so glad you're okay.' And 'I'm so sorry.' And 'how do you feel?' When Rian asked that I started thinking about it. I hurt. All over, but mostly from my waist down.
"I ache all over. What happened?" All three of them looked at Jack who looked on the verge of crying. He opened his mouth to talk, but before he could a doctor came in. The doctor was an older man with greying hair and kind blue eyes.
"Good morning, Miss Barakat." He looked around the room,"Are-who is Miss Barakat's legal guardian?"
"I am." Jack said.
"Would you gentlemen give me a moment with Miss Barakat and her father. Please?" He directed at Alex, Zack and Rian. They nodded and left. "Miss Barakat, do remember anything from sixteen hours ago?" I shook my head, "Not surprising. You were given a large, almost lethal, dose of a common date-rape drug, known as Rohypnol. You've been unconscious for the better part of twelve hours."
"What?" This new information circled around my mind as I tried to piece it together.
"You were the victim of unprotected, non consensual sex. I'll be frank with you the odds of you being pregnant are very high. You're young, fertile. I would be surprised if you aren't pregnant. However it is still a possibility that you aren't pregnant. Ahem. I'm sorry to ask such a personal question, but are you sexually active?" I shook my head. "Are you in any pain?" I nodded. "In your legs? Back? Groin?"
"All three."
"Not unexpected. Take some ibuprofen for the pain until you know for sure whether or not you pregnant. You-"
"How soon can I find out if I'm pregnant?"
"Two and a half to three weeks or whenever your next menstruation cycle should start." I nodded. "Do you have any questions?"
"No."
"Alright. Well a nurse will be by in a few hours to give you a quick check up and then you'll be discharged. I'm sorry this happened to you honey." He gave my leg a gentle pat and then walked out. I stared at the door, trying to process all the new information I'd just been given.
"I'm s-" Jack's voice cracked, "So sorry."
"It's not your fault. I let my guard down. I shouldn't have stayed in the room with a teenage boy I didn't know." I assured him.
"I'm a horrible parent."
"No. No you aren't." I wanted to get up and give him a hug, but now that I'd started thinking about the pain I couldn't forget about it. "Could I have a hug?" I asked. Mostly because he looked like he could really use one. He hesitated at first, but than came and gave me a hug. "You're the greatest dad ever." He sat down on the bed beside me and just held me. Alex, Rian and Zack came back in after a while. They stayed until the nurse came in at eight o'clock. She gave me a quick check up and some ibuprofen and then discharged me. They gave me my clothes from the day before and I went into the bathroom to change. Every time moved pain ran through my legs and back. Every step hurt. I muscled through the pain and got dressed as quickly as possible. I followed Jack down to the elevator and then out to an uber that would take us back to the bus. I got a shower and then went straight to my bunk. I put my headphones on and turned on some music. Despite how hard I tried the doctor's words ran on repeat through my head.
I was probably pregnant. I wasn't ready to have a kid. I was a kid. Around five that evening Jack made me leave my bunk and get something to eat. He made me a sandwich that I picked at for the better part of an hour. I don't think I spoke to anyone that day.
Everyone else was in bed and Zack was sitting at the table as always. I brought my book and sat down beside him. No words were shared. In a lot of ways Zack reminded me of Leo. Quiet, caring, shy. I began to realize that was part of the reason I liked to come and read with him till the early hours of the morning. I tried to read and ignore all my problems, but my mind kept wandering from Leo to the baby to the fact that I'd been drugged and raped and then back to Leo. I didn't even realize that I'd started crying until Zack wrapped an arm around me and started comforting me.
"I'm so sorry, Annalise." He rubbed my back and kissed the top of my head. I must have cried myself to sleep because the next thing I knew it was morning and I was waking up in my bunk.
Some days it's about productivity and efficiency. Some days it's about happiness and love. Some days it's about hard work and progression. Some days it's about all of the above. And some days it's simply about getting through the day. And knowing that even if everything isn't going right . . . you are still going to be okay.