Rebecca was so nervous of their date that she couldn't decide on what to wear. She doesn't even know where they were going. She was pacing back and forth in her bedroom, then she would stop and stare at her open closet and get back to pacing. No one has ever thrown her off her game. With her relationships, she made sure never to get too attached, and she was always in control. But with Sara, it's like she's always on her toes. It's new, it's scary, but it's exciting and she wants it.

She grabbed her usual clothes and put them on. She figured she doesn't have to try too much to impress Sara. That's not who they are. No matter how crazy things might feel for her, what she and Sara seem to have is just simple. They may not know much about each other, but they're comfortable with each other. There's no pretention, maybe there are things that they are keeping from one another, but they don't deny it. Maybe there will come a time that they no longer feel the need to hide anything.

Hey. I'm on my way. Ready?

Rebecca texted Sara as she got into her car and drove to Sara's place.

Almost.

Unlike Rebecca, Sara wasn't feeling nervous. She was just excited. She even pampered herself with a long hot bath that she was just getting out of when Rebecca had texted her. She didn't have a problem choosing an outfit since she doesn't really have much to choose from. And right on time, there was a knock at her door.

And Sara couldn't help but smile at how nervous Rebecca looked at the other side of the door. She found it adorable.

"You look nervous."

"These are for you." Rebecca ignored her comment and handed her an arrangement of vibrant flowers that she saw and just had to stop and buy for, because they made her think of Sara.

"Thank you." Sara took the flowers and tried to find something to put them into. All she had was a pitcher of water. That would do. She would just figure something else out when she gets back.

"Do I make you nervous?" Sara asked to fill the silence that settled in when they got to Rebecca's car.

"Always."

"Really? Why?"

"I don't know. Maybe if I did, I wouldn't be."

"I see. So, where are we going?"

"I thought you're deciding where."

"You're the one driving us somewhere."

"I was just following the road until you tell me where to go."

"Then let's see where the road takes us." Sara suggested. She doesn't really care where they end up going. All she cared about was the time she gets to spend with beautiful woman sitting right next to her.

Rebecca looked at Sara checking if she was serious. She was taken aback a bit of the carefree suggestion. But she must admit that she quite liked the idea of just cruising around and just go wherever the road takes them.

"So tell me what's your story."

"We haven't even had anything to eat yet and you want my life story already?"

"You're stalling."

"Maybe. I said that I will tell you, just not when."

"Okay. What do you think about pizza?"

"Pizza sounds great. It's the nearest place, huh?"

"Yes."

"Are you hungry or just that curious?"

"Both."

Sara was relieved that Rebecca was no longer holding herself back. It was a refreshing sight to see her smiling and laughing so freely.

They parked the car and went into the pizza parlor. The place was packed with only a few tables left to fill. There were families enjoying dinner, group of friends hanging out, and some couples enjoying a date themselves.

Rebecca spotted an empty booth by the corner of the store and led Sara to it. As soon as they were seated, a waitress approached to welcome them and handed them some menus.

"Hi!" She cheerfully greeted with a sweet smile. "Welcome to Carlo's Pizza, the best pizza in town. My name is Ashley, I'll be your waitress for today. Here are our menus. Just call for me whenever you're ready to order."

"Okay, will do. Thanks, Ashley." Sara replied, accompanied with her ever so charming smile that didn't go unnoticed by Rebecca.

"Really?"

"What?"

"Were you just flirting with that waitress?" Rebecca recalled the image she caught the other night of Sara being all too friendly with the barely-dressed waitress at the bar.

"I wasn't. I was just being polite."

"Uh-huh."

Sara smiled at her dismissive response but it was clear what she was feeling.

"You're adorable when you're jealous."

"I'm not."

"Please! Don't even try to deny it. I like it."

"But it doesn't give you right to do so deliberately."

"So you do admit it."

There really is no winning over her in such situations. And there was no use denying the truth, but she wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of her admission.

"Oh, just order already."

But her unwillingness to admit her feelings is what excites Sara the most. Whether she admits to it or not, just being with her is very much enjoyable for Sara.

They discussed what to order and called Ashley over when they have decided. And Sara just let Rebecca do all the talking that time without even a single glance up at the young waitress. All her attention was on Rebecca.

"Stop that." Rebecca said to her once the waitress had left their table.

Sara burst out in laughter at how amusing things are between them, how light and simple it still is, without the burden of the past or reality just yet.

"You don't want me looking at other women. You also don't want me to look at you. What am I supposed to do?"

"You're not just looking, you're staring."

"It's hard not to. You're beautiful."

"Who do you see? Me? Or her?"

How could Sara answer that? Should she lie? Would Rebecca even believe her if she does? Would she believe her even if she tells her the truth that she doesn't just have some resemblance to Nyssa, but she is that earth's version of the woman she had loved the most.

"I'm sorry." Rebecca then said when she saw the longing look in Sara's eyes. She can see that she had loved her completely, and that maybe things didn't end well for them, and that she may still not be over the loss of that love.

"It's okay." Sara replied with a warm smile. "So, what else would you want to know aside from that?"

"What is it that you really do, aside from bartending?"

"Getting straight to it."

"Come on."

"Take a guess. I'm sure you have some idea or theory if you prefer to call it that."

"You have quite the fighting skills. You carry around a throwing knife with you, and you're quite adept at using it. Do you have one with you now?"

"Who said I only carry one?"

"Of course." Sara's response only supported Rebecca theory even more.

"Are you going to tell me your guess already or are you not done listing supporting details?"

"You got shot and it's like that was nothing to you. You're not fazed by how much danger you've gotten yourself involved in."

"Okay."

"You are going to tell me if I got it right?"

Sara simply nodded, waiting for Rebecca's conclusion of it all.

"I'm gonna say you're some kind of..."

"Say it."

"Mercenary."

Sara didn't say anything right away, then their order arrived which made the wait for Sara's answer longer. And the anticipation was gnawing at Rebecca. Was her conclusion true? If it was, what would she really feel about it?

"So?" Rebecca said as soon as the waitress left.

"Yeah. Something like that, but not anymore."

"A retired mercenary?" Rebecca scoffed with some doubt, though that was not entirely hard to believe.

"Yeah."

"Okay. I really thought that it might not be true and that if it was, you would have denied it."

"Would you prefer if I did?"

"I don't know."

They then stared at each other in silence. Does it matter that Sara used to be a mercenary or something like it? Should that scare Rebecca? Or is it Sara who is more scared of who she was and could still be?

"Anything else?" Sara smiled at her. She was glad that Rebecca didn't seem to mind, but that wasn't the darkest and heaviest truths of her past. She wondered if she still wouldn't mind if she were to know it all. She would just deal with it when the time comes, right then, she's just glad to be sitting right next to her, being able to spend some time with her. She may look like Nyssa, but she knows she is not her, and she is enjoying every moment of knowing her.

"Maybe we should eat first and let the fact that you were a mercenary sink in with me."

They spent eating their first slices of pizza in silence, just giving each other quick glances and timid smiles. Rebecca was enjoying their time together as well. It had been a long time since she had been out to a proper date.

"So tell me, how does a daughter of a cop become a mercenary?" Rebecca finally asked.

"Wrong place. Wrong time. And a very long story." Sara replied briefly. That's the part of her life that she is most hesitant to share, because those were her darkest moments. The experiences she had before she even joined the League, her time on the Amazo and Lian Yu, those haunt her more than the things she had to do when she had become an assassin.

"We still have plenty of time here. I'll listen."

"Maybe some other time. How about you? Why did you become a cop?"

Rebecca looked at her closely, figuring out the story she would tell her. Only few people knew her story. It's not something she is ashamed of, it was not her fault, but it still is personal. And she doesn't care for the change in looks and treatment she gets when people find out. Nevertheless, Rebecca found herself telling Sara the truth.

"It's Frank. I became a cop because of him. When I was young, about 6 or 7, I don't even know how old I really was then; I was..." Rebecca paused thinking of how to put it in words. She doesn't want to use the word victim, though she was, but she just doesn't want to think of herself like that. "involved in a human trafficking ring." She continued. "That's what I came to know in the early years of my life, just the horrors of it, nothing else. Then one day, we were saved. It was Frank who came. He helped me find a family to care for me. He even gave me a birthday to celebrate. He was always there for me. He still always is. And I wanted to be just like him; to be able to do for someone what he had done for me."

Sara finally understood why the case she got herself involved in is so important to Rebecca. She finally understood the shadow in her eyes, the shadow of distrust.

"I was in a shipwreck." Sara started with her story. Rebecca shared with her her deepest truth. How could she hope for anything for them, if she can't do the same. "I was stranded in the water for days, hoping and praying that someone would find me. And when I was finally feeling hopeless and was about give up and just let the water take me, a ship had come to find me. And I thought, finally I was saved. But my time there, I wish I had just drowned. The things I had to live through, the things I had to do." Sara paused at that, leaving the rest to Rebecca's imagination the horrific things she had to do. "When I was able to escape that, I was thrown into another kind of hell. Purgatory, that's what they call the island. And my demons from that ship followed. After fighting and surviving through it all, she found me."

"Nyssa." It wasn't a question. With the way Sara had said it, the way she seemed to have lit up after her horrid and heavy story, Rebecca knew that it was her she was talking about. She saved her, and Sara loved her. And the way the she would talk about her, she can tell that she loves her still.

"Yes."

"And she's a mercenary as well?"

"Yes, well we're more like assassins."

"Assassins. Okay. That doesn't really seem any better."

"No. Not really. At least, I'm not that anymore."

"Yeah. Looks like we turned out to be like the ones who have saved us."

"Yeah. Looks like it."

Despite the huge revelation about her life, Rebecca could sense that there are still a lot more to uncover about Sara. But she will not press her on it now, what she had learned about her was enough for the day. She thought she had a dark past, but at least she was too young to even remember it all. She remembers the pain, the darkness, the cold steel of her cage, and the fear, but nothing much in detail anymore. But Sara, she didn't describe her experience other than calling it hell, yet she was sure that as she was telling her story, those events were replaying in her mind as if it had just happened recently. She can't even imagine what she could have gone through. She survived it all, and she still has so much light in her eyes and smile. Rebecca admired her even more for it.

"You know, I thought you would have run away from me by now." Sara told Rebecca as they were walking down the streets in the quiet night.

"Why? Because of who you were?"

"Yes. And that's just the tip of the iceberg."

Sara was relieved that Rebecca took it well; that she doesn't seem to mind that she was an assassin, but she's still afraid if she finds out everything there is to know about her that she will lose her. She's lost her before, she left without looking back. She can't lose her again, she won't let go of her again, but she won't build it on lies and that would be the trickiest part of all.

"Do you want me to run? Because I have wanted to run the moment I met you."

"Well, that's reassuring."

"This scares the living hell out of me, because I have never felt anything like this before. I feel like I have known you my whole life. It's easy to just let go of everything with you. And the way you look at me." Rebecca paused and turned to look at Sara who had been gazing at her so closely as she was talking.

"How do I look at you?"

"Like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you have loved me your whole life. And I know that it wasn't me, but when you look at me like that, I couldn't help but feel that it is me."

The truth in her words struck Sara straight into the heart. And it pains her that she can't even deny any of it and just reassure her that it is only her. She wouldn't even believe her if she did.

"I'm sorry." Sara tried to apologize, though unsure what exactly she was apologizing for. Was it her fault that she had loved someone with all of her being? Was it her fault that she is yet she is not the woman that she had loved? Was it her fault that she seems to be bound to love the woman bearing that face wherever and whenever she may be?

"Don't be. Could you tell me what happened between you two? Tell me about her."

Rebecca wondered why and how could a love that strong end. Did she hurt Sara? But there is no pain in her eyes when she thinks of her, just pure love and longing for that love. Or has she passed away? That could be. If not, what could have been it.

Sara took a long breath, looked at the distant night then back at Rebecca. She smiled as once again it was like it really is Nyssa who was there by her side. She reached out for Rebecca's hand and linked their fingers together, missing how Nyssa's touch felt.

"She's the best fighter among us. She's fierce and strong-willed. She's calm and controlled in combat, and wouldn't hesitate to kill. But she's really sweet and thoughtful. She was always there for me. Though things weren't always great between us, especially when I left to get back to my family. I hurt her. She tried to get me to go back with her, and we ended up hurting each other in the worst possible way by using each other's greatest weaknesses." Sara teared up a little as she recalled how much she had hurt Nyssa that day. "She threatened my family to get to me. But I knew the very thing that could break her. Me."

"What did you do? You threatened to kill yourself?" Rebecca was gripping her hand tighter. She felt pain and anger for what Sara had to go through. First, the shipwreck, the island and all that, then this. All she wants to do is hold her close and keep her away from anymore pain and sufferings.

"I walked into our meeting having drunk poison."

"You did what?" The fear in her eyes was the same fear that Sara had seen in Nyssa's eyes when she walked in there like that and she held her dying in her arms.

"It's all I could think to do to force her hand. And it was horrible. It wasn't that I was dying. It was that I had to make her think that I'd rather die than be with her; that I didn't love her. I didn't want to do that to her, but I just really can't go back to that life. And the funny thing is..." Sara started to smile again

"There's a funny side to this story?" Rebecca found that hard to believe.

"Not long after, I went back to the League. And I was back with her."

"Why?"

"Why would I go back to her?"

"No. I get that. No matter what had happened, you still loved her. And like you said, she's the one who got hurt more. But if you wanted badly to escape from that life, why would you go back?"

"We needed their help. And I just can't ask her for anything more after what I did without anything to give back."

"And she wanted you back."

Sara smiled and nodded in response.

"Then if you got back together after that, why are you here? And where is she?"

"That was not the end for us, but I think that's enough for tonight." But Sara thought it was best to end the story there for now, because she doesn't know how she would explain the significant happenings that transpired after that led to her death. One of her deaths. "I don't know where she is now. I haven't seen her in a long time. But wherever she is, I hope she's happy and well."

"You've really been through some fucked up shit."

Sara laughed out loud because that may be the simplest and best way to describe it.

"Don't tell me that that was just the beginning."

It was just the beginning of her story and it was also the least mind boggling part of her adventurous journey that led her there, though for others that would have been too much already.

"Don't worry. Maybe one day, you will know it all."