We were quiet on the drive back to Louis' house. My mind was racing; trying to think of a way to make this work, trying to think of the right words to spare us both the heartbreak, trying to think of a way to turn the clock back and tell Louis how much I liked him before he ever met Briana and landed us both in this mess. I just kept drawing a blank.

We pulled into the drive and Louis killed the engine and looked at me. "Brew?"

"Only if it's Yorkshire," I teased, knowing this would make him smile. It did.

"Like I'd let any other brand into the house," he retorted with a smirk.

I followed him into the kitchen and sat at the breakfast bar while he busied himself making the tea, observing him and taking in his mannerisms, his body language and his movement. I reminded myself that this was Louis Tomlinson from One Direction, and allowed myself a mini fangirl moment (silently, of course).

"Have you spoken to Eleanor?" I asked him as he sat down opposite me and placed the two mugs between us.

"Yeah, I rang her yesterday and gave her the lowdown. I didn't want her finding out about the baby from any other source. I owed her that, at least. And it won't be long before the story gets out. These things always do." He said this a little bitterly.

"How did she take it?"

"She was shocked, obviously. And a little sad, I think. It was sort of the final line to be drawn underneath our history. We were never going to get back together or anything, but this somehow cemented it. We had some good times together. Great times, in fact. I still care for her. But it's the end of an era."

I nodded. I understood this perfectly. He met my eyes and gave a reluctant sigh.

"The end of an era," he repeated emphatically, placing both hands around his mug and then looking down.

I felt a stab of sadness at his words, and said nothing. I didn't want the conversation to continue down this route but I knew it must. It was like watching a car roll slowly off a cliff, knowing there was nothing that could stop it and that the ending was inevitable.

"This is such a mess," I said softly, after a minute of silence, and he gave a hollow laugh.

"Tell me about it." 

Neither of us spoke again for a few moments. My mind was blank. I couldn't find the words to say. Couldn't, or didn't want to, maybe.

"We've come to the end of the road, haven't we," he said eventually, and I lifted my gaze to look into his eyes. His expression was defeated, yet accepting.

I smiled sadly. "Yes. I think we have." 

He nodded, and looked down again.

"I wish things were different," I said, reaching across the table to lace my fingers through his. "I don't want to hurt you, Louis. I don't want this to end."

"Neither do I," he muttered. "But as much as it pains me, I know it has to. My head isn't in the right place at the moment. It would be selfish for me to continue with this when I can't give you what you deserve."

"It's not about me wanting or expecting more from you," I said, hastily. "It's about knowing that you have enough on your plate right now without trying to add me into the equation."

"Yeah - that's what I meant," he agreed, looking up at me again and sending a flutter of butterflies to my stomach. "You phrased it better than me. I don't want you to think I'm walking out on you, or that you're not worth fighting for. Because nothing could be further from the truth."

"Ditto," I said, earnestly. "I don't want you to feel like I'm abandoning you when you need people around you to support you. I'm not running away from this because you have 'baggage'," - I drew air quotes - "or because it would be too much hassle. I'm letting you go because... because I care about you more than you know."

"Don't," he said, cutting me off and looking away, his voice trembling so slightly that I may have imagined it. "Don't say it," he murmured.

I swallowed hard, watching him with a thudding heart.

"I don't need to say it," I said, softly. "You know."

He pressed his lips together, and shifted his gaze from the wall, to the window, to the table top beneath his mug; anywhere but at me. 

"Yeah. I do. And I do too." 

I knew what he was saying, just as he knew what I was saying.

"I know," I whispered.

I had fallen for him, and he had fallen for me. We both felt it, yet there was nothing either of us could do about it except walk away with regret, wondering what could have been, had we met each other in a different time and place.

"I'm so sorry, Louis," I sighed, and he looked up at me in surprise.

"What have you got to be sorry for?" he asked, gently. "You haven't done anything wrong."

"I'm just sorry for this whole situation," I elaborated. "I'm sorry I met you when I did; I'm sorry I didn't admit my feelings before you left for LA; I'm sorry I didn't fight for you then because if I had, things would probably be very different now. I'm sorry I lost my bloody phone; I'm sorry I didn't fetch it from that damn bar sooner. I'm sorry we don't have a decent shot at us, because I think we would have had something really amazing..."

I felt my voice breaking, and my eyes burning with tears.

"I'm sorry too," he said, sliding off his stool and walking round the breakfast bar to put his arms around me. "I'm sorry I thought that hooking up with a stranger would be fun. I'm sorry I didn't fight for us before I left for LA either, and I'm sorry I let my stupid pride get in the way of realising I wanted more from us."

I shook my head as my tears spilled onto his top. "This whole situation is one long list of ifs and buts. We're both guilty of messing this up. I feel like we both made the wrong decisions at every turn, and because of that we just didn't stand a chance." 

He tightened his grip around me, and rested his cheek on the top of my head. How long we stayed like this for I wasn't sure. I breathed in his scent, absorbed his warmth. I took in the feel of his arms around me, encasing me in this little bubble where only we existed; Briana and Eleanor and his unborn child nothing more than a whisper on the wind.

When he finally released me and I stepped back, I saw his eyes were tinged with pink and this caused a fresh wave of misery to swell, and a new lump to form in my throat. I needed to leave before I lost control. No good could come from that.

"I think I should go," I said, stepping away from him. "I don't want to draw this out, and I don't think there's anything left to say. Except that I won't ever tell anyone about this - any of it. Us, you, Briana, anything you've ever told me... I wouldn't do that to you."

"I know you wouldn't," he said, reaching for me again, and I fell back into his arms too easily, snaking my hands round his waist and resting my cheek on his chest again. He kissed the top of my head, and I squeezed my eyes shut, forcing more tears to spill down my face as emotion rose inside me with the force of the unstoppable tide.

"I love you," I said, as a sob escaped my lips, and he squeezed me tighter.

"I love you, too," he murmured into my hair.

"I'm not trying to twist the knife," I cried.

"I know," he whispered. "I know I told you not to say it, but I wanted to hear it." 

"I didn't want to do this," I admitted, and he released me again to look down at me. I hastily wiped my tears, dreading the state of my face.

"Do what?" 

"Make a scene like this. Acting all emotionally unstable..."

He shook his head. "Don't be daft. If we'd both shown a bit more honesty and emotion at the start, we wouldn't be in this mess."

My lip wobbled again, and he closed his eyes. "Sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to sound harsh."

"No, you're right," I sighed. "It breaks my heart to admit it, though."

"Yeah," he laughed sadly, and we smiled at each other.

"OK, I'm really going to go now," I said, stepping away from him and picking up my bag. "We're just prolonging it by drawing it out like this. One of us needs to be strong and make the break." 

I turned towards the door, wiping the last of my tears, but he reached out and put his hand on my arm. I stopped to glance back at him, my heart beginning to pound at the expression on his face as he looked me up and down.

"Stay," he said, softly. 

I hesitated, meeting his gaze as my skin tingled and a flame of desire ignited deep inside me.

"You can't walk out on me looking like that. Not without ending this properly," he said huskily, his eyes half closing as he pulled me back a step closer to him. "Stay with me tonight, for the last time. The last goodbye." 

"Louis, that's just going to make it ten times harder in the morning..."

My words were swallowed by his kiss as he crushed me against his chest, his lips pressing hard onto mine. There was no point pretending I wanted to protest. I needed him and he needed me, and above all we needed to say goodbye.

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One chapter left, and then the epilogue will follow! The next update will be in about 24 hours. Thanks for reading, and as always please, please vote if you enjoyed it, and comment with your thoughts!! 💕