I woke up on Sunday morning with a mild headache and a feeling of emptiness that for some reason I was unable to shake. The night before played over and over again in my head, while I contemplated what might have happened if I had accepted Harry's invitation. Was Callie right - had he been flirting with me? If it had been any other random guy in a bar I would have said yes, but his superstar status made me doubt myself. That, and the fact that I had been seeing one of his close friends. I was fairly certain that if one member of One Direction dated someone, said someone would be automatically off limits to any other members of the band indefinitely.

Louis had flitted in and out of my dreams all night, and aside from wondering where he was and what he might be doing, I also wondered what the future could possibly hold for us if we were to see each other again. I couldn't deny that I had been stupidly in love with Harry since I saw One Direction live in 2013 with my little sister Maddie. But I also couldn't ignore the incredible chemistry between me and Louis, and every time I thought about him my stomach somersaulted and I felt instantly hot all over. Was I a fool for throwing all that away? I was afraid of being taken for a ride, but Louis had seemed genuinely into me, and disappointed at my decision to let him go. It was all very confusing.

Things got even more annoying when I realised my phone was missing. After turning my flat upside down, I concluded that the last place I'd had it was at the bar last night when I was ordering Harry's drink, and I couldn't remember bringing it back to the table. I called the Rose Garden from my landline, and to my relief my phone had been handed in and was safe and sound. I wasn't about to traipse all the way across London to fetch it, so I asked them to keep it until the following weekend for me. 

Sarah listened in awe on Monday morning at my recount of Saturday night, and her jaw practically hit the floor when I told her I'd declined an invitation to spend the evening with Harry Styles.

"What kind of fan are you?" she gasped.

"I don't know," I sighed, twiddling my One Direction pink glitter gel pen between my fingers. "It would have felt weird, as I don't really know Harry. And I think I've made a mistake letting Louis slip through my fingers. I don't need any more complications."

"Why don't you text Louis?" Sarah asked.

"I left my phone at the Rose Garden," I said miserably. "In a way, it's probably a good thing that I can't do anything rash. Knowing how uncool I can be, I probably would have messaged Louis some stupid embarrassing text by now and put him off for good. Instead, I've got the rest of the week to make up my mind what to do."

"I think you should go for it," Sarah said immediately. "Grab it with both hands. There is a time and a place for playing it safe, and now is not it."

"Hmm," I replied, noncommitally, but I couldn't help feeling that she was right.

Louis wasn't far from my thoughts for most of the week, and on Saturday morning I pulled on a pair of jeans, a sleeveless top and my biker jacket, and headed back to the Rose Garden to collect my phone. When I got home I plugged it in to charge in the kitchen and switched it on, and then starting making myself a cup of tea. After the initial startup tone, it pinged incessantly for about thirty seconds with numerous missed calls and texts. When it finally fell silent, I sat down at the kitchen table with my brew, and picked it up. I had several voicemails, and as I opened my text message inbox I could see I had a few texts from Louis, which made my heart flutter before I'd even opened them.

Hey, how are you? Just letting you know I made it to LA. Thanks for an amazing few weeks xxx

Hey, just tried to call you but your phone's off. Can you call me when you get this? xx

Please ignore my voicemails. I was off my face drunk and I'd had a really shit day, thanks to some greasy idiot on Twitter, and I wasn't thinking straight. Take care.

I frowned at this last one. What wasn't he thinking straight about? 

I could only assume the 'greasy idiot' he'd made reference to was Naughty Boy, after their Twitter spat yesterday afternoon that'd had Sarah and I reaching for the popcorn and refreshing Sarah's timeline every three seconds. (If I'd had my phone I probably wouldn't have been able to resist tweeting something embarrassing, so it was a blessing in disguise that I had been without it.)

I dialed into my voicemail and waited while it talked through the menu, before reaching my messages.

"Hi Jess, it's Louis... um... been trying to reach you for a couple of days now but your phone is off. Can you call me when you get this? Hope you're OK, just wanted to talk. OK, catch you later. Bye."

"Hey, it's Louis again. Have you blocked my number or something? I keep getting your voicemail. Look, I've been thinking about you a lot, and I know we agreed we wouldn't be taking things any further, but I just wanted to... um, catch up. Call me when you have a spare minute. OK, bye."

"Jess? This is Calvin - remember me? Your handsome older brother? Why don't you ever answer your phone? Ring me back." (I rolled my eyes.)

The next message sounded like Louis was in a bar somewhere, judging by the background noise and his slurred speech.

"Jessieeee! It's Louis! I didn't think you were the type of girl to bank my calls... blank my calls, but I'm starting to get a complex now! Listen, I can't stop thinking about you. I don't want to be friends, I want to be more than that. You're fucking amay-ling... amazing... and yes I may have had seven vodka shots and four beers and I may be drunk but that doesn't mean it's not true. I miss you, and I was stupid to let you go without a fight. Will you call me black... back... peas... I mean please. It's Louis by the way. I can't believe I'm talking shit to your voicemail. I really fucking hope this is your voicemail, and not some random number. Call me bye. Back. Bye."

"Hi Jess, I think I might have left you a voicemail last night when I was drunk. Please ignore anything embarrassing I may have said. I was hoping to talk to you, but I get the feeling you're ignoring me. Either that or you've lost your phone. Hoping for the latter, to be perfectly honest, but I don't want to pester you. If I don't hear from you I'll assume you just want to leave things, as we agreed. Sorry if I've sounded a bit full on. Take care."

"Jessieeee! It's Louis again. Bit pissed off that you couldn't be arsed even replying to my texts, to be honest. I get the message - you're not interested. That's fine, no worries. I'll leave you alone now. Bye."

End of messages. 

My heart was thumping by the time I hung up. He sounded a bit put out, and drunk, on the last message, which had been left less than twelve hours ago. If I'd known he had been trying to contact me for a week I would have made the effort to collect my phone sooner. Everything he had said about missing me, and feeling like he had made a mistake letting me go, was exactly what I had been thinking about him ever since he left, and now I was worried I had lost him for good.

I looked at the clock - it would be almost four in the morning in LA. Far too late to call Louis, but somehow I didn't want to risk leaving it any longer, even if I woke him up. 

My heart pounding, I swiped his name and lifted my phone to my ear while it rang with an American dial tone. Unsurprisingly he didn't answer, and I was just about to hang up when the phone diverted to voicemail. Grabbing my courage with both hands, I waited while the automated messaged played, and after the beep I began shakily, 

"Hi Louis... it's Jess. I'm so sorry I haven't answered you. I lost my phone last Saturday night and I've only just got it back. I haven't been ignoring you - I've been thinking about you too and I miss you and I'd really like to talk -" (I mumbled this part in a rush). "Anyway, I hate leaving voicemails, so when you get this can you call or text me? Hope you're having fun in LA. Speak soon. Bye."

I was sweating by the time I ended the call, and I set my phone back on the table and downed the rest of my cup of tea with trembling hands. I went through the rest of my text messages, typing quick responses and explanations to each one about the loss of my phone, and spent the remainder of the afternoon clock-watching and counting down the hours until Louis might be waking up, thousands of miles away, and might pick up my message.

It was nearly half past eight in the evening, and Callie had just arrived with a takeaway, when my phone lit up with a call from Louis. 

"Fuck!" I hissed, jumping up from the sofa as though I had been bitten. "It's Louis!"

"So?" Callie frowned. "Answer it. Haven't you been waiting for this all day?"

I stuck my tongue out at her and walked across the hallway to the kitchen before I answered breathlessly, "Hello?"

"Hey, Jess... it's Louis."

"Hi," I smiled, as my heart lurched in my chest at the sound of his voice.

Please, oh please, let me be cool. Just once.

"I was beginning to think you'd blocked my number or something."

"No, I lost my phone," I sighed, taking a seat at the kitchen table. "If I'd known you'd been trying to get hold of me I would have collected it straight away."

"Is that so?" Even from five thousand miles away, I could hear the satisfied smirk in his voice.

"Well yeah, I mean I would never intentionally ignore someone," I explained, feeling my face reddening even though he couldn't see me.

"So how have you been?" he asked.

"Not bad," I answered. "Busy at work. And I bumped into Harry last weekend, just after you'd left for LA. That was a bit random."

"Yeah he said he'd seen you. He also ripped the piss out of me for getting dumped."

"Wha... I never said I'd dumped you!" I protested. "I told him it wasn't like that!"

"Relax," he chuckled. "I'm just winding you up. So you've been missing me, have you?"

"No more than you were missing me," I retorted, and he chuckled again.

"Touché."

"So what have you been up to?" I asked, and there was a slight hesitation on the other end of the phone.

"Partying," he answered. "And partying some more. To be completely truthful, I'd sort of given up on you. After hearing nothing back for a week, I assumed you were giving me the cold shoulder."

There was something about the way he said this - sort of slowly and carefully - that made my heart sink a little. I suddenly had a feeling that he was implying he had been partying with some female company in my absence. Not that I could hold this against him, as we had agreed to part as single people, with no commitments to each other. But I would be lying if I said the thought of him with someone else didn't make me feel sick.

"Sorry about that," I sighed. "I wish I'd just gone back to get it the following day."

"So do I," he sighed, in a tone that sounded unmistakably regretful.

"Are you enjoying it over there?" I asked.

"Yeah, it's good. It's been fun catching up with friends, and making the most of the warm weather. I got a bollocking from our management earlier though, after I got into an argument with some stupid twat on Twitter, about Zayn."

"Oh yeah. I saw that," I giggled. "Sarah and I were following it all afternoon. Who even is he, anyway?"

"No one," Louis emphasised. "He's a fucking nobody, who is using our fanbase to raise his own profile and rile everyone up into the bargain."

"You shut him down, though," I laughed.

"Yeah, until Zayn got involved," he said, darkly. "That was a bit of a low blow, to be honest."

"Are you OK?" I asked.

"Yeah, but I was fuming yesterday. Harry was trying to take my phone off me to stop me saying anything I would regret. In the end one of management team, Karen, chewed my ear off for twenty minutes about the consequences of starting public arguments. I've heard it all before, too many times. I'm known for being a bit of a loose cannon, and for giving them all grey hairs in the office."

"I can imagine," I chuckled.

"Anyway, I'm going to spend some time in the studio next week with Liam, writing," he continued, changing the subject. "And then we've only got another two weeks before the tour starts again."

"Oh - I've got tickets to that first show," I told him. "Cardiff, on the fifth of June."

"Oh really?" The flirtatious tone was back in his voice. "Bit far for you, isn't it?"

"Sarah and I got them ages ago," I explained. "We both rang up when the tickets were released. She was in charge of the London dates, and I tried for the rest of the UK, in case London sold out. So we ended up with London and Cardiff."

"Nice," Louis chuckled. "You're a dedicated fan, I'll give you that."

"Well... I really wanted to see you," I admitted.

"And do you still really want to see me?" 

We were no longer talking about concert dates.

"I think you know the answer to that," I replied.

"I want to hear you say it." He was smiling.

"Course you do." I rolled my eyes.

"Don't roll your eyes at me."

"Wha - how could you tell that?" I demanded, but he just laughed.

"Well?" he prompted.

"Fine! Yes, I want to see you again," I said quickly, the heat in my face returning.

"Good." He sounded satisfied. "I want to see you, too. I'll have a look at my schedule and see if I can get back to the UK a couple of days early. If... if you'll be free then?" He added this a little uncertainly.

"Yes," I squeaked, as my stomach flipped a sharp somersault. "That would be great."

"Let's start over again, shall we?" he suggested. "I like you - I think you know that. I'm not going to mess you around."

"Same," I said, fervently. "I'll wait for you."

"I was hoping you'd say that." He sounded relieved this time. "Listen - I've got to go, but I'll call you tomorrow, OK?"

"OK," I nodded. 

"I'm glad you weren't ignoring me," he said suddenly, with a hint of shyness in his tone.

"I would never ignore you," I said softly.

"I should think not." We were back to normal banter again. "Speak later."

I wandered back into the lounge, a stupid smile on my face, and Callie beamed at me.

"I take it you're all sorted?" she said.

"Yeah," I grinned. "He's going to try and come back a bit early, before the tour starts again."

"Good," she said. "For what it's worth, I think you should go for it. Have a bit of fun and live in the moment. You never know what's just around the corner, and life is too short not to act on your desires."

"As long as you'll be there to pick up the pieces if it all goes wrong," I said, sitting back down on the sofa and picking up my half-eaten (now almost cold) meal.

"Goes without saying," she nodded.

I hadn't got much further through my dinner when my phone lit up again, this time with a phonecall from Sarah.

"Have you seen the Daily Mail?" she demanded, before I'd even properly answered. "Louis is the top story, out in LA last night with some random blonde girl."

My stomach gave a sickening lurch as my earlier fears were now apparently confirmed. 

"What does it say?" I asked, trying to keep my voice cool and casual.

"They were pictured clubbing together, and then leaving in Louis' car," she elaborated. "It's not the first time they've been papped. It seems they've partied together before."

I sighed. "I don't really know what to say. If he's been enjoying the single life out there, I only have myself to blame. I broke it off didn't I? I told him I didn't want us to take things any further while he was away."

"So you think it's true?" Sarah asked.

"I don't know," I admitted, "but I wouldn't be surprised. I mean, I do know how the press can jump to conclusions - I'm a stripper called Olivia, remember? But I spoke to him only a few minutes ago, and I got the impression he'd been out with other girls this week."

"You've spoken to him?" Sarah asked faintly.

"Yeah, he...," I hesitated slightly before continuing, "he didn't know I'd lost my phone, and he'd been drunk dialling me saying he missed me. When I finally got his messages I called him back, and he'd thought I wasn't interested because he hadn't heard back from me. He's been hitting the clubs in LA since he landed, so I can't really blame him if he's been enjoying some female company."

"Louis Tomlinson drunk dialled you and told you he missed you?" Sarah repeated slowly. "Jess, how are you so calm?!"

"I'm just trying to process it all," I explained. "We've just said we both want to see each other again, and he's going to try and come home early so we can meet up. But from what you're saying, he may have hooked up with someone last night."

"Probably because he'd given up on you!" Sarah exclaimed.

"Well, yeah, he sort of said as much," I admitted. "I'm not annoyed with him. But I feel sick at the thought of it. I... I really like him."

"I can't blame you for that," she replied, as Callie grinned at me from the other end of the sofa. "So where does this leave you? If he has hooked up with someone else, are you still going to pursue some sort of relationship with him?"

"Well, we've only spoken briefly, but he said he wouldn't mess me around," I told her. "As far as I'm concerned, anything that happened in LA prior to our phonecall is none of my business. But I'm not interested if he's still going to be seeing other girls at the same time as me. I'm not about to be taken for a fool."

"Are you going to ask him about it?"

"I'll have to," I nodded. "I don't want to be waiting around for him here if he's shagging around in LA. He can't have his cake and eat it."

"You're so strong, Jess." Sarah sounded awestruck. "I don't think I'd have this steely resolve like you. I'd be putty in his hands."

"Yeah, well it would be a different story if he were standing in front of me, looking at me with those blue eyes," I admitted. 

"I hope you don't think I'm interfering, telling you this stuff," she said suddenly. "I just thought you'd want to know."

"No, you definitely did the right thing," I confirmed. "I would have found out myself anyway, as soon as I'd looked at the Daily Mail. I'll let you know what he says when I next talk to him."

As it turned out, I didn't have to wait until the next day for Louis to call me back. He rang just as I was getting into bed that same evening, full and sleepy after a takeaway and wine.

"Did I wake you?" he asked softly, making my stomach flip for the millionth time that day.

"No, I'm just getting into bed," I replied. "I've had a friend over. We had a takeaway and a catch up."

"Did you plait each other's hair?" he teased. "That's what my sisters always do on sleepovers."

"No," I chuckled. "But I did have an interesting conversation with another friend about you."

"OK," he said warily.

"Look, can I ask you something, and will you give me a straight answer?" I asked.

"Of course," he replied immediately.

"There were some photos of you released today, clubbing and going home with a blonde girl."

Louis sighed.

"I just want to know if you're seeing her, because if you are then I think it's best if we just stay friends," I continued in a rush, before I could change my mind.

"No, I'm not seeing her," he said softly. "I won't lie - I have seen her a couple of times. I hooked up with her last night. But that was before I got your message about wanting to see me again. And if I'd spoken to you sooner, I wouldn't have hooked up with her. I'm not into playing the field. I don't mess girls around - I promise you. Everything I said earlier was true. I want to take things further with you, and to me that means not seeing anyone else at the same time. I won't be seeing her again."

"Well, that just answered all of my questions," I smiled. "Did you know I would ask?"

"It crossed my mind that you might have seen the pictures, when I realised we'd been papped," he answered. "And I don't know whether you'll believe me when I say this, but if you hadn't asked me, I was going to bring it up myself. This is why I've called you tonight. I wanted to be up front with you about it."

"Thank you," I said softly. "I appreciate your honesty."

"I don't want you to think I'm a player," he said. "I know I have a reputation for being a cocky little shit sometimes, but I would never treat a girl badly. It isn't my style. You can trust me."

"I believe you," I said truthfully. 

"Good," he smiled. "So tell me more about your evening. Was your friend warning you off me?"

"No, actually," I replied. "Both of them were saying I should give this a go."

"Both of them?" Louis repeated.

"Oh - yeah, I've told two people about us," I explained. "But don't worry - they're both trustworthy. They won't breathe a word. You've already met Sarah, and my other friend Callie isn't a fan and couldn't care less that you're famous. I've been friends with her since school. She would never spill the beans."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to sound weird then," he apologised quickly. "It's just - my last relationship was public knowledge, but I'd rather keep us private while we're getting to know each other."

"Of course," I replied. "I don't want my private life splashed all over the media either. As far as I'm concerned, our business is exactly that: our business."

"See? I knew you were one in a million," he said, the hint of shyness back in his tone.

"And you'd better not forget it," I teased.

~~~

It was almost two in the morning by the time we hung up the phone, and over the next couple of weeks we spoke almost every day. I kept an eye on all social media platforms, and although there were several reports of Louis enjoying the Los Angeles nightlife, he appeared to keep true to his word, and was never pictured with any more random girls. As the end of May drew nearer there was no mention of his return date to the UK, and I didn't want to appear pushy or needy by bringing it up myself. I spent the May bank holiday at my parents' house in Cambridge, and was planning on a quiet one the following weekend as I was due to go to Cardiff the first weekend in June for our concert.

I was just settling onto the sofa on Saturday evening, and thinking it was odd that I hadn't heard from Louis in over twenty-four hours, when the buzzer to my flat sounded. I heaved myself to the intercom, and lifted the receiver.

"Hello?"

"Hello," said a familiar voice, in a distinctive Doncaster accent.

I gasped as my heart missed several beat and my stomach flipped over. I froze to the spot, the intercom phone pressed to my ear, unable to speak.

"Aren't you going to buzz me in?" came the voice, that even through the crackly speaker was smug and undoubtedly smirking.

"Oh my God," I breathed. I pressed the button to unlock the main door, flicked my own front door on the latch and raced out into the hallway in just my socks. I ran to the top of the stairs to see Louis Tomlinson smirking up at me as he ascended, his blue eyes twinkling and his hair perfectly messed up. He was wearing a black Adidas tshirt, a pair of soft grey jogging bottoms and white Nike trainers, and looked devastatingly sexy. He ran a hand across his forehead, brushing his fringe to one side in a typical Louis gesture that sent a shiver down my spine.

"Missed me?" he teased as he reached the top, and I grabbed him by the neck of his tshirt, pulling him against me and pressing my lips to his. His arms slipped around my waist as I took a couple of steps back and leaned against the cold wall, letting his body weight press against me, flooding me with a fiery heat as his scent washed over me. My lips burned against his, and his stubble grazed my top lip as his mouth opened and his tongue brushed against mine.

We kissed like this in the corridor for a few moments until we broke apart, breathing heavily and grinning at each other.

"I'll take that as a yes," he winked.

---***---

Happy New Year! I'll be focussing on finishing this book and updating Trace over the next few weeks (see my user profile scooby-snacks for the full message update and general news).

Are you enjoying the story? How do you see this one panning out? The remaining 7 chapters are loosely planned, and the ending is already decided - I've had one particular scene in my head for nearly 2 years!

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