July 2019

The sharp tap at the door interrupted the excited chatter drifting through the hotel suite.

"That'll be Lou and Lottie!" Maddie exclaimed, leaping off the bed in her dressing gown and hurrying to open it.

"Morning darlings," Lou Teasdale sang, as she entered the room pulling a small suitcase on wheels behind her; two smaller makeup cases tucked under her arms. "How are we feeling?"

"Excited!" Maddie squealed as Lottie Tomlinson entered the room behind Lou, carrying two small bags.

"Tearful," my mum answered, her voice trembling.

"Sick with nerves," I added, as I stood up and embraced first Lou who was beaming at me, and then Lottie.

"Well, you have nothing to be nervous about," Lou assured me, patting me on the back gently. "I'm going to make you look like a princess, although to be honest, that won't exactly be difficult. But first - bridesmaids and mother of the bride." 

She gestured to the dressing table by the window, and pulled a couple of chairs in front of it. "Come on, all of you - take a seat in a line, and we'll get started straight away."

She began unpacking her various bags and cases, pulling out her hair and makeup equipment and spreading it all out methodically over the surfaces.

"Champagne?" I offered, crossing over to the ice bucket containing the bottle of Dom Perignon that had been delivered to the room only ten minutes earlier, and grinning excitedly at Gemma who was taking a seat in front of Lottie. "Courtesy of Harry?"

"Just a small one," Lou answered. "I need to keep a clear head. I don't want Harry sacking me for messing up his bride's hair and makeup on the biggest day of their lives now do I?!" 

We all laughed as I poured out two small glasses for Lou and Lottie, topped up everyone else, and then sat down on the bed and watched as they began to work their magic. 

I had been checking Twitter periodically that morning, searching my name and Harry's name, to see if anyone had guessed that today was our wedding day (or even worse, had discovered the venue) but it seemed that for once all our well-laid diversions had worked. Harry and I had deliberately let ourselves be papped entering Departures at Heathrow airport only the day before, at the exact time we would have been there if catching a flight to LA, and Jeff Azoff, Harry's manager (and best man), had "leaked" a couple of fake interview appointments which made it look as though we were flying over there for promo ahead of Harry's next album release, which would be in the coming weeks. However, this wasn't the case. We had been ushered straight through the airport and out of the private exit to a plain car that took us immediately up to Holmes Chapel, where Harry had gone to his mum's and I had joined my family and friends at the nearby hotel and spa that we had solely booked out as our reception venue.

"Ready for you Jess," Lou called, interrupting my thoughts, and I looked up to see her indicating to the chair in front of the mirror. "We'll do your hair first, then makeup," she said as I sat down, and I watched as she began combing my hair back from my face, and then pinned it to the side with a large clip and switched on her curling tongs. "Are we still going wavy, with the sides pinned back?" she asked.

"Yes please - exactly how you did it last week," I nodded, and she stuck the comb between her lips and began sectioning my hair, ready to curl. 

By the time my makeup was finished, I had polished off my glass of Champagne and my hands had started trembling with nerves. I locked myself in the dressing room to manoeuvre myself into my dress, and then called my mum in to help fasten the ties at the back to pull it all into place. I stepped into my shoes, and when I was ready I opened the dressing room door and walked into the main suite. 

There was a collective gasp, and as I looked up I caught sight of Anne standing next to my mum, both of them dressed in their mother-of-the-bride and mother-of-the-groom outfits, holding Champagne flutes and looking at me open mouthed, their eyes filling with tears.

"Don't start me off," I warned, hearing the tremor in my own voice, as my mum stepped forward to put her arms around me, sniffing discreetly.

"Oh Jess," she whispered softly. "You look absolutely stunning. My beautiful little girl."

I hugged her back, fighting my own tears, and as she released me Anne appeared at my side with watery eyes and put her arms around me too.

"Harry's going to cry when he sees you," she whispered in my ear. "You look wonderful. I'm so happy for you both."

"Is he nervous?" I whispered back, and she pulled away and looked me in the eye.

"He's a wreck," she confirmed. "But don't worry - he'll be fine. He just wants everything to be perfect for you. And it will be."

"I know," I nodded, blinking rapidly to hold off the tears again. "He's perfect."

"Good job your eye makeup is waterproof," Maddie teased.

"Of course," Lottie smiled. "First rule of wedding makeup!"

There was a tap at the door, and Gemma opened it to let my Dad and Calvin in. 

"The cars are here," my dad said, looking at his watch. "We need to leave in about ten minutes. Can I have the mums and bridesmaids first please? Yours is the car at the front with the pink ribbon, ours is the one behind with the white."

My mum, Anne, Gemma and Maddie all picked up their flowers from the tray on the table and began to file out of the room.

"Here's your bouquet, Jess," Callie said softly from behind me, and I turned to see her holding out my arrangement of delicate pink roses with a proud smile on her face.

"You'll be honest with me," I said to her. "Do I really look OK? It's not too much? It's not over-the-top?"

"OK?" she echoed in disbelief. "You look absolutely breathtaking, Jess. You look perfect. I'm so happy for you."

Her lip trembled slightly, and I felt a wave of emotion rising in my throat. "Thank you," I whispered.

"Come on, chief bridesmaid, you're supposed to be setting a good example," my dad scolded Callie. "I'm relying on you to keep them all in check."

Callie gave a solemn salute, and exchanged knowing looks with me. "On it, Mr. B. I won't take any nonsense."

"That's what I like to hear," he nodded, equally solemnly, and she gave me a delicate hug before quickly exiting the room and shutting the door behind her.

"You look great, Jess," Calvin said softly. 

"Thanks," I replied, smiling self-consciously. It was unlike Calvin to share any sort of emotion, but he genuinely seemed moved.

"Give us a minute will you, Calvin?" my dad said, not meeting my eye.

"I'll get in the car," he answered gruffly, and quickly exited the room, leaving me and my dad alone.

My dad turned to me, and took both of my hands in his as he surveyed me. "I'm so proud of you, Jessie," he began, and I felt my eyes prick with tears yet again.

"Dad," I whispered, but he inclined his head, silencing me, and I waited for him to continue.

"You're a strong young woman," he said seriously. "You've taken on a very public relationship, and shouldered a big responsibility. You've dealt with an awful lot, yet you've managed to rise above the criticism and show the world that your love is stronger than anything, and it can conquer all. Young girls look up to you, albeit they envy you, and I happen to think you are a fantastic role model to your generation. I am proud to have raised a daughter like you, and I am so proud to be your dad."

I swallowed hard, determined not to leave this hotel room with red eyes. "I've made a lot of mistakes though, Dad. I'm not perfect," I told him.

"You can admit to your mistakes," he reminded me. "And that takes far more courage. And actually, I think you are perfect, and I know for a fact there is one other man in this world, not too far from here, who wholeheartedly agrees with me. And believe me I would not let you marry someone who didn't look at you and appreciate every day just how wonderful you are."

He let go of my hands and pulled a hanky out of his pocket and handed it to me so I could dab my eyes, and then took it from me and dabbed his own. 

"That said, I don't want you to feel pressured into doing anything you don't want to," he added. "If you have last minute doubts and want to escape out of the toilet window, just say the word."

I half laughed, half sobbed at this, and he brought my hands to his face and kissed them gently. 

"Are you ready?" he asked, and I nodded. "Are you sure you're happy?" he asked, looking at me earnestly, and I nodded again.

"Happier than I ever thought I could be," I told him.

"Well that's how it should be," he stated, and he held out his arm for me to take, and walked me out of the room, down to the lobby and into the waiting wedding car.

By the time we arrived at the church, my legs were shaking uncontrollably beneath my dress. I posed for pictures outside with my dad, glancing around to make sure no random passers-by had realised who we were, and then waited while Gemma, Callie and Maddie assembled behind me. I arranged and rearranged my dress, straightened my veil and switched my bouquet from one hand to the other and back, until Calvin gave us the nod from the entrance, and I heard the beginning of the church organ, signalling that I should start walking.

I took a couple of steps forward and turned the corner so that the front of the church came into view, and I could see Harry standing beside Jeff at the front, their backs to me, facing the vicar. My legs wobbled again, and I prayed that my trembles were unnoticeable to the congregation as I began to walk down the aisle.

Jeff turned first, and broke into a beaming smile as he caught my eye. I saw him nudge Harry, and saw Harry's shoulders lift as he took a deep breath and then turned around to face me. He was wearing an immaculate, bespoke, dark grey morning suit, with a matching waistcoat and dusky pink tie that perfectly matched the bridesmaids' dresses. His hair was shorter at the sides and long on the top, and styled to perfection of course (Lou had done an amazing job first thing this morning, bless her). He looked absolutely breathtaking. 

I felt a sharp flip in the pit of my stomach as our eyes met, and it reminded me of that moment more than four years earlier, when I had first laid eyes on him at the house party in Primrose Hill. I saw his chin wobble slightly, and his lower lip trembled, but he didn't tear his gaze from mine until I was standing next to him and I saw the tears in his eyes. My dad lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it gently, and as I turned and gave my bouquet to Callie, and lifted my veil back from my face, I saw Harry lift his hand to his face and surreptitiously wipe the corners of his eyes with his thumb and middle finger.

"You look amazing," he whispered as I turned to him once more, his voice cracking with emotion as I smiled adoringly up at him.

"So do you," I whispered back.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

The music came to an end and silence fell over the congregation, and suddenly I didn't feel nervous anymore; just overwhelmed with pride and happiness that this incredible man standing next to me wanted to be with me forever.

My heart swelled as we sang the hymns we had picked out, and my eyes pricked with tears again as I said my vows to Harry (his voice broke more than once as he said his own). Out of the corner of my eye I saw Anne dabbing her eyes with a tissue as Harry slid my wedding band onto my finger with trembling hands, and when the vicar announced, "I therefore proclaim that they are husband and wife," Harry let out a happy sigh of relief which caused everyone to laugh and clap, and leant towards me to kiss me softly as the vicar concluded, "Those whom God has joined together let no one put asunder."

We signed the register with Callie and Jeff as witnesses, and then after the blessing, the final prayers and a last hymn, we led the congregation back down the aisle and into the grounds for photographs. The church we had chosen was in a secluded area surrounded by high trees to guarantee us some privacy, and I was relieved to note there were no paparazzi lurking nearby, and no suspicious activity anywhere in the distance. I was fairly confident we had managed to pull this off without anyone outside of our family and friends guessing what we were up to. It made a refreshing change.

"I meant to tell you," Anne said, tapping us on our shoulders after we had arrived back at the hotel and reception venue, "a present arrived for you at the house this morning, and you'll never believe who it's from."

"Who?" I asked, curiously, but she shook her head mysteriously. 

"I brought it with me, and it's on the table with all the other presents," she smiled. "It's in pink and gold paper, with a gold tag. Take a look when you get a spare minute."

Harry exchanged mystified looks, and Anne chuckled softly as we formed the receiving line to welcome everyone to the wedding breakfast. I still couldn't shake my inner tremble of excitement as I greeted Louis, who murmured in my ear, "Looking amazing in that dress, love," and beamed unreservedly as I hugged Liam and Niall in turn. I didn't see them often enough not to fangirl (albeit silently), but judging by the faint, knowing smirk on Harry's face, he knew exactly what was going on inside my head.

Harry became increasingly fidgety throughout the meal as the speeches approached, and I could tell he was nervous. For someone who made his money performing in front of tens of thousands of people this may have seemed strange, but I knew from our previous discussions about this moment that the smaller the crowd, the more nervous he was, and that he had been writing, rewriting and rehearsing his speech for weeks.

My dad went first, standing up once the plates had been cleared away and tapping his glass with a spoon so that silence fell across the room.

"Dearly beloved," he began, "...oh no wait, that's not my line."

I inwardly groaned as everyone fell about laughing at this typical Alan Bradshaw joke, and he cast a side-glance at me and winked as he said, "oh Jessie, I've only just begun. Ladies and gentlemen, I have been told throughout the last twenty-plus years of fatherhood that I embarrass my children on a daily basis. So I thought to myself, 'Alan, you can't break with tradition on the biggest day of Jess's life.'"

I shook my head at him, grinning in spite of myself, and he gave me a proud-dad smile in return.

"Jessica," he said, "I would like you to place your right hand on top of the table, palm down, and Harry, please place your hand directly on top of Jessica's and remain that way until I say so."

Harry and I exchanged bemused looks, but obeyed as my dad began to regale the guests with anecdotes from my childhood, including the moment I told him in no uncertain terms, aged seven, that when I grew up I was going to marry a prince because I needed a castle to store my crown. "It was at that moment that I knew whomever my daughter married might not necessarily be a prince, but he would have to be a bloody saint."

Harry was loving this of course, and laughed heartily at all my dad's jokes at my expense. Knowing my dad as I did, I was waiting for him to reach my relationship with Harry, as I had a feeling I knew where it was going.

"And then one day," my dad continued, "my youngest daughter Maddie came home and begged me for concert tickets for some boyband that had just announced a tour. I'd never heard of Wrong Direction before, much less this Harry Styles lad, but I agreed, on the condition that Jess was the chaperone, as she was supposedly the sensible older sister. I hadn't bargained for them to return home with my credit card at its limit, dragging bags of concert paraphernalia, and Jess complaining of a sore shoulder because she pulled a muscle screaming in all the excitement."

I closed my eyes in embarrassment as Harry leaned into me and said, "I remember you telling me about that on your first trip to LA."

"And I'm so glad it got brought up again today," I replied dryly.

"I'm sure this band was mentioned again numerous times over the following few years," my dad carried on, "but the next thing I personally remember was Jess announcing to me and her mother that she was going over to see this boy in America, because they had met a few times and she was head over heels for him."

"I did not say that!" I protested, and my dad turned to me and winked.

"You didn't need to, love. It was written all over your face."

"No chill," Harry murmured delightedly in my ear.

"So imagine my surprise when a few weeks later, said boy turns up at my house to eat dinner with us, tells me he is in a band and touring the world, and practically chokes on my wife's cottage pie during his bid to impress the family."

It was my turn to laugh now, and as I caught Harry's eye I saw a blush creeping up his cheeks, but when I gave him a questioning look he shook his head briefly and I made a mental note to ask him to elaborate on the cottage pie comment later.

"It soon became apparent that these two were absolutely smitten with each other, and I wasn't surprised to see them overcome every obstacle thrown in their path, and make it out the other side stronger and happier than ever. My daughter is, as most of you will know, brave, determined and how can I put this kindly? A handful." More laughter at this. "But ladies and gentlemen, I could not imagine a better suited, more well-match couple, so please will you raise your glasses to toast the bride and groom."

Everyone around the room picked up their champagne flutes and echoed, "the bride and groom," and just as he made to sit down my dad raised his hand again for silence.

"I almost forgot - Harry, I asked you to place your hand on top of Jess's for a very specific reason. The one thing I have learned throughout my married life is to know my place within the family dynamic. So I wanted you to remember and savour this moment when you had the upper hand with my daughter, because believe me, now that you are married to her this will be the last ever time."

Everyone fell about laughing at this, and Harry gave me an indulgent grin as he squeezed my fingers beneath his, before shaking hands with my dad across me as he stood up and my dad sat down amidst the applause from the guests.

The room eventually fell silent again as Harry cleared his throat nervously and ran his hand through his hair.

"Well," he began. "I've performed in front of some pretty scary crowds, but I think this one takes the biscuit." He licked his lips as everyone chuckled, and a few of his friends let out whistles and cheers. "The one thing that stands out in my memory when I first met Jess was the overwhelming feeling that there was something special about her. I couldn't help being drawn to her. From day one I felt a connection, as though fate had brought us together that day. And I think, looking at us now and how far we have come, I was absolutely right.

"I don't mind admitting that I was absolutely crazy about her from our first date, although it took me longer than it should have to realise just how hard I had fallen for her -"

"Don't remind me," Louis called from the table containing the One Direction boys and their partners, causing everyone to laugh.

"And as Louis can confirm, I was the subject of ridicule for having 'no chill' for the duration of our 2015 tour," Harry acknowledged, while Louis nodded, smirking.

"But ladies and gentlemen," Harry continued, turning to me and gesturing with his hand, "look at her. You all know her - I don't need to preach to you all about how amazing she is; you know yourselves, and that's why you're here: because you love her too. So can anyone really blame me for losing my cool around her, hanging on her every word and generally having no control? I think not."

He looked down at me while there was a collective sigh of agreement around the room, and gave me a look of such pure adoration that I felt a wave of emotion rising in my throat. I swallowed hard, determined not to cry while all eyes were on me. 

I listened while he reminisced with fondness our first few months together, noting briefly the time we had spent apart and how lost he had been, and how he had thought he would never find his way back from the depths of his despair. Although we had spoken about this many times over the years, it was strange to hear him admit so openly to his grief and misery in front of a room full of our closest friends and family.

He made many references to the times I had left him hanging, kept him on his toes and generally been oblivious to the effect I'd had on him, generating ripples of laughter around the room as he played on my previous indifference and pretended to have been crushed each time I had shot him down with my inadvertent sass. He also gently ribbed me for my frequent fangirl moments, around both himself and the other members of the band, and told his grinning audience how happy he had been when I had given in and let him see my excitement over One Direction, as it had reassured him that maybe I was into him after all, and wasn't as cool on the inside as I had always appeared on the outside.

He thanked our parents for supporting us, and for helping organise the wedding, and then presented the bridesmaids and Jeff with thank you gifts, and my mum and Anne with a beautiful bunch of flowers each. He then turned to me again, took both of my hands in his and spoke directly to me.

"I just want to finish this by saying how much I love you, and how much I am in awe of you every single day, for the way you have embraced the public role of being my girlfriend and not having given in to the pressure from the outside world. Everyone loves you, Jess, and you've stuck by me through thick and thin. Not a day will ever go by when I am not thankful for that, and I promise never to take you for granted, and to appreciate the little things in life, because they are what is important to me, and to us. I'm so happy you chose me to spend the rest of your life with, and I swear on my life I will make you happy every single day, until the day I die."

My resolve not to cry crumbled at this point, and I let out a sob as he leaned forward and kissed me gently, before wiping his eyes with the back of his hand and picking up his champagne glass.

"Please will everyone join me in a toast, to the wonderful girl sitting beside me who today has made me the happiest man alive. To my beautiful Jessica."

I put my arms around him as he sat down as everyone toasted and clapped, and kissed the side of his neck as I whispered in his ear, "That was absolutely perfect."

"I'm really, really glad that's over," he laughed, shakily. "Give me a stadium full of fans any day over a room full of people we know and love."

I kissed him softly on the lips as Grimmy called over, "Put her down!"

A hush fell over the room as Jeff stood up to make his Best Man speech, and he started by placing both palms on the table and giving a theatrical sigh. "Well, I think we can all agree that today has been emotional for everyone," he began, and then paused. "Even the cake was in tiers."

Everyone laughed, and listened while Jeff proceeded to embarrass Harry unashamedly, with stories of his exploits (thankfully nothing too racy), his unfortunate mishaps, and made frequent references to his slow and monotonous voice.

Once the speeches and the meal were over, we moved outside into the grounds of the hotel for late afternoon drinks, before the evening reception began. We were just re-entering the room when my eye fell on the long table of presents by the outside doors, and I caught sight of a small package wrapped in dusky pink and gold paper, with a delicate gold gift tag attached.

"Harry," I murmured. "That's the present your mum was being mysterious about - can we just take a peek to see who it's from?" 

He met my eye with a mischievous glint in his own. "Why not? I'm as intrigued as you are."

I reached over and picked up the gift, turning it over in my hands before handing it to Harry, who did the same and then read the tag.

"Well I'll be damned," he whispered, smiling softly.

"What?" I asked, looking up at his face and then down at the handwriting on the card.

To Harry and Jess. Congratulations on your wedding day. I am so thrilled for you, and I'm happy you are each other's perfect match, even if you gave me more grey hairs than the rest of your bandmates put together. Have a wonderful life together. All my love, Karen.

"Karen from Modest," I breathed. "And I always thought she hated me."

"I told you, she respected you more than you ever realised," Harry reminded me. "But she was never one for showing emotion, or making any sort of gesture like this. I'm really touched."

"I feel like I've finally made it," I joked. "We get the Karen seal of approval - what bigger compliment is there?!"

We were interrupted by a flurry of guests entering the room, and we quickly put Karen's present back on the table and made our way to the side of the dancefloor, waiting until everyone was inside, to begin our first dance. 

This had been a source of inner turmoil for me, as a little part of me felt that some of the songs Harry had written about us were so perfectly fitting and should have been part of our celebration. However, "our song" had always been Ellie Goulding's Love Me Like You Do, and when she had offered to sing it for us again (she was a guest at the wedding anyway) we had both felt it was just too beautiful a sentiment to pass up, as it had been played the night we met, sung live by Ellie on our one year anniversary, and would now be our first dance as a married couple.

As the opening notes began to play and Harry led me onto the empty dancefloor while everyone watched, I felt a new flutter of nerves. He pulled me gently against him and wrapped his arms around my waist as Ellie started to sing and a gentle spotlight fell on us, dimming the rest of the room into a dusky glow. 

"You look absolutely amazing today," he murmured into my ear as I rested my head on his shoulder as we began to sway. "I don't know if I've told you that enough?" 

"You look pretty incredible yourself," I whispered back. "That suit is... perfection on you."

He chuckled softly, pressing his cheek to the top of my head and slowly turning me on the spot. "Well you've never looked more beautiful. I don't know how you manage it, but I think I love you a little bit more every single day."

"Well that's a good thing, because I know I love you more every day," I countered.

"I'm glad we're on the same page," he teased.

"Of course we are," I smiled. "Always."

"I love you so much, Mrs Styles," he whispered.

"I love you more, Mr Styles," I whispered back.

He tightened his grip around me and breathed in deeply as we danced slowly, immersed in each other and almost forgetting our friends and family were standing around the edges of the dancefloor watching us, some filming us on their phones and some (my mum and Anne) weeping softly.

I closed my eyes and focussed on my overwhelming happiness at being in my favourite place in the whole world: in the arms of the person I loved more than anything, committed to him forever, with everyone we cared about in the same room, brought together by our joint love for each other. 

As the song came to a close and our parents joined us on the dancefloor for Ed Sheeran's Thinking Out Loud I lifted my head from Harry's shoulder and kissed him gently, the familiar tingle spreading through my body at the taste of his lips and the beat of his heart against mine. I would never forget this moment as long as I lived, and I knew I never needed to worry that one day I might forget how it felt to be loved by Harry Styles. Because he was my sun and I was his universe, and this was our happy ever after. 

---***---

One more bonus chapter to come, and that really will be the conclusion of the story. I hope you enjoyed this one - please don't forget to vote and leave me a comment or two! Thanks as always for reading ❤❤

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