My trance was interrupted by a text message coming through. My back was aching from sitting in the same position for so long. I stared blankly at my phone for a moment until it registered.

From: Louis Tomlinson: You couldn't have just lied?!

I looked at the words on the screen but they just didn't evoke any of the emotions I would have expected to feel: excitement, nerves, worry, anger... I was just empty.

To: Louis Tomlinson: Don't worry, I told him exactly what happened. I kissed you, you pulled away. I told him not to blame you for any of it

From: Louis Tomlinson: I had it covered! You could have got away with it because the picture was long range! You nugget.

I couldn't even laugh. I felt like a robot; void of all feeling, empty and cold. Dead inside.

To: Louis Tomlinson: No point lying. That's his department. Have a great show tonight. Sorry for everything.

From: Louis Tomlinson: Are you alright?

I didn't reply to this, but instead switched my phone onto silent to get some peace and quiet, and stayed on the sofa all day, the TV on low to keep me company. I checked my phone later on, but he didn't text me again. I knew tonight's show was the last one of the European leg of the tour, and after this they had just over a week off before the next leg began in the US. I didn't want to think about where Harry might spend his time off. I didn't want to think about Harry at all. I didn't know how I ever would again.

I texted Adam that night to cancel our plans for Sunday, as there was no way I could even think about going on a date with him while I was trying to come to terms with Harry's revelations. I was also terrified of being photographed by the paparazzi, especially out on a date with another guy, since I was pretty sure I was now Public Enemy Number One to the majority of the One Direction fandom. I didn't dare look on Twitter, but I risked googling Louis Tomlinson again around teatime and read a few articles that were all regurgitating the same facts about last night.

The pictures Harry had seen accompanied every article. Although it was clear they were taken with a long range camera, it was obvious it was me and Louis. My back was to the camera and I was very close to Louis, our faces seemingly touching. The images were grainy, and I probably could have got away with claiming I was just leaning towards him, but I had already admitted the truth now and I wasn't the sort to lie, anyway. I had dealt with enough secrets from Harry over the short duration of our relationship. I wasn't about to add to the pile with any of my own.

Adam texted me back later on asking if I was free the following weekend instead, and after a few minutes' consideration I agreed to let him take me out on Saturday night for dinner and drinks.

Of course Callie had seen the articles and witnessed first hand Harry arriving at Libertine and persuading me to leave with him, and therefore wanted a blow-by-blow account of the rest of the evening. She barged into my flat on Sunday lunchtime, having told a pap outside in no uncertain terms where to shove his camera, and demanded the full story. And so I spent the best part of two hours reliving everything, from the moment Harry and I left Libertine to the final words we spoke to each other on the phone only twenty four hours earlier.

"So what now?" she asked after she had finally closed her mouth (which had been open in shock the whole way through.)

I shrugged. "I move on with my life," I said. "I was trying to anyway, before I ended up in bed with him again. He'll be in the States for the summer on the US leg of the tour so he will be out of sight, out of mind. And Adam's asked me out next weekend after I cancelled today's plans, so I'm going to see how that goes."

Callie smiled softly. "I'm proud of you, babe," she said. "I've been so worried about you lately. You've had a rough time."

"Understatement of the year," I said wryly. "But listen - Callie - please don't talk about this stuff with James. I don't want it getting back to Adam and him jumping to conclusions about me. I'd rather tell people about what happened with me and Harry in my own time. I don't want to be known as Harry Styles' Ex, or The Girl Who Came Between Harry and Louis, blah blah blah. I just hope he hasn't seen the articles already."

"Yeah course," she nodded. "To be honest I doubt either of them read the Daily Mail Showbiz or Sugarscape, somehow. And I don't think Adam is even on Twitter."

We giggled at this, and despite the sick feeling in my stomach that had taken up residency since the phone call with Harry yesterday morning, I actually felt a little bit better.

~~~~~

On Monday morning I had to relive the whole episode all over again with Sarah. Gary stayed quiet behind his desk; I suspected he was either embarrassed or annoyed about Friday night, but quite frankly with everything else I had going on, this was the least of my worries. I was thankful (and surprised) there had been no paps outside my flat when I had left for work that morning, especially after they had been there on Sunday. I could only assume they had given up, and pushed them to the back of my mind.

I had been buried in my work for about two hours when my boss Nicki appeared in front of my desk and smiled at me.

"You got a minute, Jess?" she asked.

"Um, sure," I said, and got up and followed her into her office. She shut the door and sat down behind her desk, and indicated to one of the chairs opposite.

"How are you? Really?" she asked softly as I sat down and shoved my hands under my thighs.

"Pretty fed up," I admitted. "But I refuse to let everything drag m- get the better of me."

I gave her a brief summary of the sequence of events post-Libertine, and the subsequent phone call, and she nodded along.

"I'd seen the articles online," she confessed. "I guessed there would be more to it. There always is where you and Harry are concerned."

She paused and looked at me hesitantly.

"I know you've been struggling since the Sara Sampaio incident," she began.

(My stomach churned at the mention of her name.)

"So I've got a little proposition for you," she continued. "One of the Team Leaders in the Cardiff office has just handed his notice in and they'll be looking to fill the position. I wondered if it would be something you might possibly be interested in? Maybe a change of scenery might do you good? I mean, I don't want to lose you from my team, obviously, but I think you're ready for the challenge and it would be wrong of me to hold you back if you wanted to apply."

I stared at her, my heart pounding. I couldn't seem to make my mouth work. This was the answer to everything.

"I mean, think about it first," she added. "Sleep on it, at least. Don't make any rash decisions. It's a long way to go permanently; it's a big move. But I do know they want someone to cover, short-term. If you wanted to, we could send you there on a temporary contract and put you up in a hotel until the position is filled, either by you or someone else. That gives you some time to decide what you want to do."

"Yes," I squeaked, finally finding my voice. "Yes, I would love to cover. Even just a couple of weeks' experience would be amazing. And I can't deny I would love to get out of London for a bit. Do you really think I could do it though? I've never been in charge of a team before."

"I wouldn't suggest it if I didn't," she smiled. "You're one of my best underwriters, Jess. You deserve a bit of recognition. You've worked really hard and I want you to have this chance to prove yourself. And the Cardiff office is huge. It's undergone major renovation and has expanded. It's a fantastic opportunity."

"What would happen to my job here if I went there temporarily to cover?" I wondered.

"We'd manage without you for a couple of weeks. But if you got a permanent position in Cardiff we would obviously have to recruit for your position."

I nodded while I digested this.

"When do they want someone to start?" I asked.

"Not for a couple of weeks," Nicki replied. "They'll probably want cover from mid-July, and would be looking to fill the position permanently as soon as they could. I don't know all the details yet, but I should find out more over the next few days. Can I tell Cardiff you're interested, then?"

"Yes, definitely!" I beamed, and she beamed back.

"Good," she said. "I'll let you know as soon as I know more."

This was exactly the break I needed. This would be a chance to try and move on from the chaos of the last few months, and an opportunity to take a small step up on the career ladder in the process. And what better time to do it? Harry had another week off from their tour in August, and there was always the possibility he would return to the UK to see his family. The further I was from London the better. I simply couldn't afford to risk bumping into him. My common sense told me this was extremely unlikely anyway, given the size of the city and the different lifestyles we led, but fate reminded me of the coincidences that had led to us meeting in the first place, and I wasn't prepared to leave anything to chance.

I left Nicki's office with a spring in my step and a smile on my face, and as I sat back down at my desk I thought there finally seemed to be a faint light at the end of this long, dark tunnel.

----****----

Thank you for all the reads, votes and comments so far! I appreciate it so much, and every time you vote it helps get this story more visible so if you're enjoying it please just hit the star button, it honestly means the world to me!! Next update will be Wednesday :)

Don't forget you can check out No Control from Harry's point of view if you want to understand him a bit better - it's called Trace of Innocence.

xxx