Harry dropped me off home about 8.30pm. I didn't invite him up and he didn't ask - part of me just wanted the evening to chill out by myself and mull over the meeting we'd had with Modest.

I grabbed a bowl of cereal for my dinner, quickly packed a weekend bag for Holmes Chapel, and then got into bed with a cup of tea around 9.30. I caught up on Twitter and Facebook, and briefly wondered how long these would be my own - I was sure Modest would want some form of control over my social media once I officially became Harry's girlfriend and I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

Once I had exhausted these channels I indulged in a bit of fanfiction on Wattpad - my guilty pleasure that Harry (and no one else apart from Sarah - not even Callie) certainly did not know about, and as far as I was concerned, never ever would. There were some things Harry definitely did not need to know. And I was certain if Modest ever got wind of it, I would be forced to surrender my account quicker than you could say imaginator1D.

I had managed to get an appointment with the doctor at 8.30 the following morning to sort out going on the contraceptive pill, so by the time I had lugged my weekend bag to the surgery and then to the office for 9am I was already pissed off.

I hadn't told anyone where I was going that weekend, in an attempt to try and protect Harry's privacy, but of course it became the topic of the office as soon as I walked in with my holdall, so I had to resort to telling everyone I was going to my parents' for the weekend, alone. I could tell Sarah and Nicki didn't believe me but neither of them pushed the matter and I was glad to be left in peace for the rest of the day, and as a result raced through all of my work with no distractions.

I left the office 10 minutes early with Nicki's permission, picked up 2 frappes from Costa for me and Harry, and waited outside until I caught sight of his Audi R8 crawling along in the evening traffic. I awkwardly managed to throw my holdall into the back seat, and then jumped in the front next to Harry and handed him one of the frappes.

"Ah, thanks," he said, leaning over to kiss me.

"I missed you, Squidge," I said.

He rolled his eyes and muttered "Squidge," in a tone of disbelief under his breath, before grinning at me.

"You know you love it," I shot at him, and he just shook his head, still grinning.

It took us a while to get out of London but once we were on the M40 the traffic eased slightly.

"When do you start rehearsals for the tour?" I asked.

"Wednesday," he said.

"That's late," I remarked. "Considering your first show is Friday. I can't wait to hear No Control. That will be the highlight of my life."

He glanced at me. "Uhhh, I'm not sure quite how to break this to you..."

"What?" I asked. "Don't tell me it's not on the setlist."

"Um, it's not on the setlist until Brussels."

"Are you kidding me?" I was staring at Harry with my mouth open. He shook his head. "Why not?" I demanded.

"Because we're only changing the setlist in cities we visited last year. If we didn't visit on the Where We Are Tour, we're sticking with the current setlist."

"That's bullshit!" I practically shouted. "You have to play No Control! What about Project No Control? We went through all that for nothing?! What does Louis have to say about this?"

I pulled out my phone furiously and sent a Twitter DM to Louis.

To: @Louis_Tomlinson: WHY IS NO CONTROL NOT ON THE SETLIST FOR CARDIFF

Harry failed to conceal his grin. "Hey, don't shoot the messenger."

"I'm shooting the singers!" I screeched. "I can't believe this. My life is officially over."

I folded my arms and stared out of the window.

"Do you think that maybe you're overreacting just a little?" he asked softly.

"No," I snapped.

We drove in silence for a minute.

"It's not my decision," he said tentatively.

"Oh I know that," I huffed, turning and looking at Harry. "It's fucking Modest, isn't it? Thinking they know best, as usual. Maybe they should try listening to the fans once in a while."

Harry pressed his lips together to mask another grin.

"Stop smirking at me."

"You're funny when you get all worked up about One Direction."

"I'm glad I amuse you."

"Yes, you do," he teased. "I love it when you get on your high horse, especially when you tell me off."

"Oh really? I'll remind you of that next time you're in the doghouse."

"Please do," he grinned, and I swatted his thigh, making him laugh in delight.

We stopped at Warwick services about half way to Holmes Chapel because my bladder was about to pop, and Harry managed to sneak in and out without being recognised, which was nothing short of a miracle. Our stop added time onto our journey and it was nearly 10pm before we arrived at Anne and Robin's. Gemma was in London so therefore wouldn't be joining us, and we stayed up until about midnight catching up, before we finally headed up to bed.

As soon as Harry shut the door behind us his arms were around me and his lips were on mine. He tugged at my top, pulling it over my head before I broke our kiss and softly pushed him back.

"Harry," I said breathlessly.

"What's the matter?" he murmured against my neck as he planted soft kisses down to my collarbone.

What was the matter? I couldn't remember when he was kissing me like that.

He unzipped my skirt and let it drop to the floor, and I pushed him away again.

"Stop," I panted.

"Why?"

"Um..." OK this was embarrassing. "We can't."

"Why not?"

"That time of the month," I mumbled, feeling mortified that I was saying this to Harry Styles.

Now is not the time to be having a Harry Styles moment! I screamed in my head.

"Ohhh," he said softly. "OK. I understand if you'd... rather not."

"Definitely not," I said, pulling myself together. "But, on the plus side, I saw my doctor today and she prescribed me the pill."

Harry gave a low groan of frustration and pressed his forehead against mine. "When can we...?"

"As soon we want."

Harry moaned again and pulled my hips against his, and I felt the beginning of his excitement pressing against me.

"Don't start getting yourself all worked up," I whispered.

"I can't help it," he whispered back. "You don't understand what you do to me. You have no idea."

He kissed me again and I deftly unbuttoned his shirt, slipped it off his shoulders and ran my hands over his warm chest. His tongue pushed my lips apart and my hands undid his jeans and pushed them down over his thighs.

"Now what are you going to do?" he asked breathily, in between kisses. "Now we're both in just our underwear and can't take it any further?"

I didn't answer, but let him kiss me harder and push me onto the bed. I rolled over so I was straddling him, and leaned down to kiss him while I slipped one hand into his boxers.

"Mmmhhh," he murmured as I began moving my hand slowly up and and down. He lifted his hands up and stroked my back, and I broke our kiss to rest my forehead against his as I touched him.

His eyes were closed and he was breathing heavily.

"What are you thinking about?" I whispered.

"You," he answered immediately. "Always you."

I smiled and he opened his eyes and brushed my ponytail back over my shoulder and held it in place on my back as I began to move my hand faster.

He groaned again softly. "This is going to make me come," he said.

"That was sort of the idea," I whispered.

He pushed himself up on his elbows so his upper body was propped up, and leaned his head forward to kiss me softly. "Fuck, you look sexy in that underwear set," he breathed.

I smiled and he put one hand around my neck and pulled my face to his again, pressing his lips against mine.

He moaned softly into my mouth. "Ah, baby I'm gonna come, OK?"

"OK," I whispered back, pulling back from his mouth, but he pulled me back again.

"No - kiss me," he murmured, and I did as he asked as he gave another groan and I felt him come into my hand.

After he was done he flopped back on the bed with his eyes closed and gave a deep sigh, and I wiped my hand discreetly on his boxers. He opened one eye and smirked at me.

"I know what you just did there."

I grinned back. "Sorry not sorry."

"I should probably get in the shower," he sighed.

I got ready for bed while he showered, and was already half asleep by the time he slid under the covers next to me and switched the light out.

~~~~~

The weekend was uneventful. Harry was keen to make the most of his last few days of relaxing, so apart from hanging out with a couple of his old school-friends on Saturday afternoon, we didn't really do much.

This suited me just fine - I had meant what I'd said to Karen about enjoying these particular perks. I felt privileged to be the person Harry wanted to do nothing with, and couldn't be happier that he wanted to cuddle up on the sofa with me and watch films, or sit outside in the garden talking about everything and nothing. Relaxed Harry was definitely one of my favourite Harrys.

We said goodbye to Anne and Robin on Sunday afternoon, and Anne was a bit emotional as Harry would now not be back home again until at least August when the boys had a 10-day break from the US leg of the tour. He hugged her tightly and promised to call her everyday while he was away, and as she stepped forward to give me a hug goodbye she whispered in my ear, "Take care of him."

I nodded discreetly and smiled at her as we broke apart, and she returned my smile and wiped a tear off her cheek.

We thanked her for a lovely weekend, and got in the car and set off in silence.

"Can we put some music on?" I asked as we drove down the sliproad onto the M6.

"Sure, what do you want to listen to?"

"One Direction."

"We are NOT listening to One Direction," Harry stated.

"Why not?" I asked. "They're really good."

He smirked. "I am aware of that."

"So let's listen to them then."

"Definitely not."

"Why?" I pouted.

"Jess, I am not listening to my own music. I'm putting my foot down. See this?" I looked over at him and he lifted left his leg - the one that wasn't on the accelerator - and put it firmly down again. "Foot down," he stated.

"Just one song," I pleaded, but he shook his head.

I huffed and folded my arms over my chest.

"Fine. They're not even that good anyway."

Harry smirked again. "I see. Have you gone off them?"

"Yes."

"Ah. Awkward. I was going to offer you and Maddie backstage passes to their concert in Cardiff next week."

It took a moment for his words to sink in. Then my stomach lurched.

"What?!" I yelped.

Harry grinned. "Yeah, you could say I sort of know the band. I can get you front row VIP if you want as well. But... if you've gone off them..." He let the sentence hang.

I squealed. "Are you joking?! Please don't be winding me up."

"Of course I'm not winding you up, you muppet. I wouldn't dare, not over One Direction."

I screamed loudly and stamped my feet. "Oh my God oh my God oh my God!" I screamed again.

"Oh, so you haven't gone off them that much?" he teased.

"No!" I cried. "I'm sorry I said I had! I will never ever joke about that ever again!"

"I should think not," he teased.

"We HAVE to listen to one song now," I gasped. "To celebrate this amazing day."

He rolled his eyes and laughed. "Alright, alright, one song. But I get to pick."

I frowned. "Err, no. You'll pick a shit one..." I trailed off.

"A shit one?" he repeated, grinning delightedly. "Are you saying we have shit songs?"

"No, no," I pleaded hastily. "I just meant one of my least favourites."

"You have least favourites?" He was enjoying this.

"Harryyyyy," I wheedled. "Stop it!"

"You can't be a true fan if you think our songs are shit and you have least favourites."

I whined and jiggled my legs. "I aaammmmm."

He laughed again. "I know. But I'm still picking the song."

"Little White Lies," I coughed into my hand.

He rolled his eyes. "No, not Little White Lies."

"No Control."

"Jess - "

"Diana! Where Do Broken Hearts Go! Nobody Compares! Heart Attack!"

"Would you st... Heart Attack? Really?" He turned to look at me with a face of disbelief.

"What's wrong with Heart Attack?" I demanded. "Maddie used to love telling me that it was Niall that did "Ow!"s in that song, before I was a fan. I still tease her about it now."

Harry chuckled. "None of those. Stop shouting song names and just listen."

He fiddled with the controls on the steering column and I waited impatiently, wondering which song he was going to pick. I'd just eliminated a load of my favourites.

The opening bass notes of a song I didn't recognise began to play and I started to say "This isn't One Direction!" before I heard a familiar voice singing unfamiliar lyrics...

I got fire for a heart, I'm not scared of the dark, you've never seen it look so easy.

"Oh my Christ," I said, clutching my chest as my arms broke out in goosebumps. "That's you. What the fuck... is this your new stuff?"

He beamed at me while I practically hyperventilated, and then I heard Louis' voice come in and I almost passed out.

"Oh my God - Louis - is this... what is this?!" I cried.

"It's going to be our next single," he grinned. "Do you like it?"

"It's.. it's..." I couldn't form a sentence. "I love it," I finally said. "What's it called?"

"Drag Me Down," he said as the chorus kicked in.

"It's incredible," I breathed. "When are you releasing it?"

"I'm not sure yet. Probably the summer. You can't tell anyone though, obviously. It's top secret."

"Of course," I said.

I made him play it another three times until I'd memorised most of the lyrics, and then we put Radio 1 on all the way back to London.

"Do you want to stay at mine tonight?" he asked as we joined the North Circular Road from the M1, heading towards the city.

"Yeah OK, I'll have to be up early in the morning for work though," I said.

"Do you need to pick up anything from your flat first?" he asked, but I shook my head.

We arrived back at Harry's and as we walked up to the front door I realised I hadn't been here since the night I met him, back in March. He let us in and I took a moment to take in the surroundings, and the memories they held from that incredible night.

"You OK?" Harry asked, and I became aware I was just standing still in the middle of his kitchen staring around me.

"Yeah, sorry," I said. "It's just... strange being back here again. Last time I was here I was just a fan and you were Harry Styles from One Direction."

"Nothing's changed. We're still those people."

"Everything has changed," I murmured, feeling a sudden rush of love for this man standing in front of me.

He shrugged. "Not for me."

I blinked. I couldn't pretend that didn't hurt. "Oh," I said. Ouch. I felt like I'd just run head first into a brick wall.

"Are you hungry?" he asked, opening the fridge.

I was, up until you told me I'm still just a fan to you, I answered in my head. I felt sick.

"Um, yeah," I said out loud. I could feel my eyes starting to blur with tears. "I'm just... um, the bathroom," I muttered vaguely, and practically ran out of the room in the direction of the bathroom.

I locked the door behind me, sat down on the edge of the bath and put my head in my hands. It was all I could do to stop myself from throwing up right there.

Just a fan, I thought. I've fallen in love with him, but to him I'm still just a fan. After everything we've been through. Nothing's changed for him.

He may as well just fucking call me Diana. Just your average One Direction fan.

Tears streamed down my face and I gritted my teeth to stop myself from making any sound. I couldn't let him hear me having this private breakdown.

It was a couple of minutes before I could get my emotions under control, and eventually I stood up and looked at my reflection in the mirror.

Nothing's changed.

My eyes were red and puffy, so I splashed cold water on my face, which made my mascara smudge even more. I used some handwash to wipe the streaks away, and when I came out of the bathroom Harry was sitting on the sofa in the lounge.

"I've put a pizza in the oven, is that OK?" he asked.

"Fine," I said. My voice sounded high-pitched and unnatural, but he didn't seem to notice.

I walked over to the couch and as I sat down my phone pinged. It was from Gemma, asking how the weekend had been, and seeing if I wanted to meet up for lunch on Wednesday.

I couldn't even bring myself to fangirl. The 'nothing's changed' comment seemed to have zapped the life from me. I texted back to confirm the arrangement, and Harry put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me against him as I threw my phone down on the sofa next to me.

"You OK baby?" he asked after a minute of silence.

"Yeah," I said, as cheerily as I could.

"Sure?" He looked down at me but I kept my eyes fixed on the TV. I knew if I looked at him I would crumble and I couldn't face having to tell him I was in love with him when it was now blatantly obvious he didn't feel the same way about me.

"Yeah, course," I said, stroking his hand.

Just a fan.

He slipped his fingers through mine and somehow I managed to get through the rest of the night without falling apart.

There was still one burning question though - how on earth was I supposed to be able to walk away from him when I was hopelessly head over heels in love?

----****----

This book is almost finished now! No more than 5 chapters left (I know I said that last time but this really is it now, if only because I am running out of songs to name the chapters haha!!)

How do you think this will end? I'm interested hear your theories so leave me some comments, and of course please vote! (I'd love to hit 60 votes on this chapter - I know it's a big aim but I like a challenge!!!)

Thank you all for reading and sticking with this story xxx