I woke up before my alarm went off the following morning, and lay there on my back listening to Harry's steady breathing. I mulled over the whole weekend, and couldn't stop myself from smiling up at the ceiling at everything that had happened.

"What are you smiling at?" a husky voice asked from beside me.

I turned to look at Harry and he smiled sleepily at me.

"I'm just happy," I said. "You make me happy."

"Good." He reached out for me and I slid over into his arms and buried my face in his chest.

"What are you doing today?" I asked.

"I'll head over to see Grimmy I reckon," Harry said. "I'll drop you off at work first though."

"You don't have to do that," I said.

"I know. I want to."

"OK then," I smiled. "Thanks."

"We've only got a couple of weeks before I'm back on tour again," Harry said. "I want to see you as much as possible. If you want to," he added quickly.

"Of course I do," I said, feeling sad at the thought of the impending tour.

My feelings must have shown in my tone because Harry hooked one finger under my chin and tilted my face up to look at him.

"I'll be home between shows," he said. "At least during the European leg. I won't be able to come home much while we're touring the States though."

"I know," I sighed. "I'm going to miss you."

"I'll miss you too," he said quietly.

Neither of us spoke for a few minutes, then Harry suddenly said, "Sometimes I get so scared that this will all come crashing down without any warning."

"What will?" I asked.

"The band. One Direction. I don't think anyone expected us to be this popular, or this successful. Even now I still feel like one day I'll wake up and the world will have moved on to something else, someone else. Something more exciting."

He took a deep breath and I stared at his face, waiting for him to go on.

"People are so fickle, Jess. Our fans are the most loyal fans in the world but eventually they will get bored of us and move on to another band. That's just life, it's how these things work. And then what? I don't know how I will ever have a normal life. I don't know what I will do if one day all this just disappears."

He looked so scared, so vulnerable. This seemed to have come out of nowhere. I wasn't sure how to react to his words - I knew nothing of the world he lived in. I only knew of the parts that crossed over into mine.

"I don't think it will ever disappear for you," I said. "For any of you, really. You are so famous, Harry. Everyone loves you; you can do no wrong. Even if One Direction comes to an end you will not be short of offers, believe me. Every entertainment company in the world will want to snap you up. You have the Midas touch."

"I'm not ready for One Direction to come to an end," he said in a small voice, not meeting my gaze.

"Why would it?" I asked, confused.

He hesitated for a moment. "I'm scared how it will be, just the four of us. We muddled through on the last leg of the tour after Zayn left so suddenly, but this leg will be different. Everything's being reworked to run smoothly without him. What if we're not as appealing as a four-piece? What if this is the beginning of the end?"

"It isn't," I said, taking his face in my hands and forcing him to look at me.

"You don't know that."

"I know the strength of your fan base, because I am part of it. Look at Project No Control. Look at hashtag Oh No Niall, or Tomlinson Slays Again. Your fans can make things happen for you at a touch of a button, they send things viral. And they are showing no signs of wavering loyalty, believe me."

"I hope you're right," Harry mumbled.

"Of course I am - I can't believe you would be so worried about this."

"I just feel like we can't take another blow. I feel like Zayn leaving has weakened us. What if one of the others wants to leave?"

"Why would they?"

"I dunno. Zayn did."

I didn't have an answer to this. I didn't know Zayn, or any of the boys really. I hadn't a clue about any of this stuff. I softly kissed Harry's chest.

"We wouldn't be able to continue if someone else left," Harry said.

"Has anyone given an indication they might want to leave?" I asked. The Directioner in me was almost trembling with fear.

"No," Harry sighed.

My subconscious let out a shaky breath.

"See? That's because they all know what a great thing you have going on. They'd be crazy to leave the band at the height of your popularity."

Harry didn't say anything, but pulled me tighter against his chest.

"Sorry," he said after a minute. "I didn't mean to get all heavy. Thanks for listening."

"Don't apologise," I whispered. "I'm glad you talked to me. It's what I'm here for."

My alarm began to sound, and I rolled over to switch it off. When I rolled back, Harry leaned over me and kissed me.

"Got time for a quickie?" he murmured.

"Always," I murmured back.

"Get on top of me then."

I did as he asked and reached into my nightstand for a condom. It was the last one.

"We need some more of these," I said as Harry pulled me down to him and kissed my neck.

"Or..," he hesitated, and I pulled back a bit to look at him. "Or you could go on the pill?" he muttered, looking away.

"If you want me to," I said casually.

"I just thought maybe it might be easier than relying on condoms all the time," he said, looking past me at the wall.

"It's fine with me," I said.

"And I can't stop thinking about the time in the pool," he blurted.

I stared at him. "What do you mean?"

"In LA - it was incredible... I could feel you... I want to do that again."

"OK," I said softly, nodding. "I'll see my doctor."

"Only if it's what you want," he said hastily. "I don't want to pressure you into it."

"You're not," I said.

He smiled and pulled my face to his and kissed me, and I let him take my mind off the looming tour in a way only Harry could.

~~~~~~~~

I ended up getting up late so I was thankful of Harry's offer of a lift meaning I wouldn't have to face the early morning rush on the tube.

"I'm going to ring Modest this morning," he said as we got into the Audi.

"OK. Let me know what they say."

"You still want to go ahead with it?"

"Of course. I'm kind of..." I hesitated. I wasn't sure how to put this. "...kind of excited about it, in a way. I kind of want everyone to know about us now," I explained.

"Really?" he beamed.

"Yeah," I said, feeling embarrassed and looking out of the window. "I want to be able to go out somewhere with you and not have to let go of your hand when someone sees us, or say those immortal words 'we're just friends'. And I want to the paps to back off. And not to mention everyone who trolled me will be sick with jealousy when it finally comes out." I couldn't help but grin at the thought.

"So you're not scared anymore?"

I turned to look at Harry. "Are you joking? I'm terrified. But... but you're worth it."

He smiled softly at me. "Thank you for saying that. I don't think you will ever understand how much that means to me."

I linked my little finger with his as we pulled up at some traffic lights and he leaned over and kissed me.

"You can drop me off outside Costa. I want to get a Gingerbread Latte before work," I said as we turned on to the road my office was on, and crawled along in the morning rush hour. "It'd probably be quicker for me to get out and walk," I grumbled.

"Yeah but then you wouldn't have the pleasure of my company," he teased.

"Well if that isn't a reason to stay where I am I don't know what is," I teased back.

"Have you spoken to your friend Gary?" he asked awkwardly, after a minute.

"No," I sighed. "Not since... it happened." I didn't want to talk about kissing someone else in front of Harry again. My cheeks flamed every time I thought about my behaviour that day. "We parted on alright terms but it will still be awkward at first."

"Has he ever asked you out before?" Harry asked.

"No, he'd always been with his girlfriend. They only split up recently, and then we kissed, before you and I properly got together, but I didn't think it meant anything to either of us. It was just a stupid drunken impulse."

There was an uncomfortable silence.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" Harry asked.

"Oh God," I groaned. "Do you have to?"

He chuckled. "I don't have to, no."

"No, go on, what is it?" I could feel a blush rising in my cheeks already, even though I hadn't a clue what he was about to ask me.

"How many people have you slept with?"

"Four," I said, keeping my eyes fixed on the road ahead.

"Four before me?"

"No, four including you."

"Really?" he asked, with a note of incredulity.

"I don't know why you sound surprised. I told you I don't sleep around, I don't do one night stands and I don't do fuck buddies."

"So they were all relationships?"

"Yes."

"Wow."

I sneaked a glance at him, but he was looking at the road as well so I turned my head forward again.

"Don't you want to ask me the same thing?" he asked after a pause.

"I'm too afraid of the answer," I said, honestly.

"You shouldn't be. You might be surprised as well."

"Hardly. It's not going to be four, is it."

"Well, no," he said with an embarrassed smile. "But I get the impression everyone thinks it's in the hundreds or something."

"Isn't it?" I asked, whipping my head round staring at him.

"Nope. Not even close."

"Really?" It was my turn to sound surprised.

"Mmm hmm," he nodded.

Silence. My curiosity was piqued now.

"Aren't you going to ask?" Harry said.

"Do you want me to?" I said, rolling my eyes.

"Only if you want to." I could hear the smirk in his voice.

"Fine. Harry?"

"Mmm?"

"How many people have you slept with?"

He turned and looked at me, his mouth open in mock surprise. "That's a very personal question. I'm not sure I feel comfortable answering it."

"You are such a bell!"I protested, smacking his thigh as he laughed hysterically with his eyes squeezed shut, and leaned forward onto the steering wheel. I grinned out of the window and shook my head as we pulled up opposite Costa. "Say hi to Grimmy for me," I said, rolling my eyes at his continued laughter, and I jumped out of the car and shut the door.

"Hey!" he shouted as I heard the window winding down. I turned round. "No kiss?" he asked.

"Definitely not, after that stunt you just pulled," I answered cheekily, and turned away grinning.

"Jess!" he called, and I looked back again.

He shouted a number through the window and he was right, I was surprised.

"Seriously?" I called back. He nodded.

I gave a nod of acknowledgement and he smiled at me, before I crossed the road in front of his car and darted into Costa.

By the time I got to my desk it was 8.30. I sat down and switched my laptop on, and a minute later Gary and Sarah came in. Gary smiled at me and Sarah gave me a grin. I stood up and went over to Gary's desk.

"Sorry about Saturday," I said softly. "I really, really wish I could take it back."

"I know," he said. "It's fine, don't worry. Did you decide what to do about Harry Styles?"

"Yeah, he sort of came to my parents' house to sort things out," I said, nervously picking at my nails.

"He what?!" Sarah's voice squealed from behind me.

I turned around to see her staring at me with her mouth open.

"Yeah, he turned up out of the blue," I explained. "We sorted things out and then we, ah, went to Holmes Chapel to meet his family."

I thought Sarah's eyes were about to pop out of her head. "You met his family? In Holmes Chapel? Oh my God, was Gemma there? Please tell me Gemma was there... no wait I don't think I can handle it." Sarah covered her face with her hands. "Was she there?" she asked through her fingers.

I didn't answer, but pulled my phone out and got the selfie Gemma had sent me on my screen and put it in front of Sarah's face. She pulled her hands away and her eyes focussed on my screen.

"Fuck. Off," she breathed. Then she screamed and stamped her feet.

"We're going to meet up for coffee," I grinned at Sarah, unable to help myself. I'd not been able to fangirl over Gemma since we'd met - I needed this.

Sarah screamed louder and threw her arms around me. "I can't believe this!" she squealed. "You need to tell me everything!"

"I will, at lunch," I promised, walking back to my desk and sitting down.

I ignored the office chatter for the first half hour, and about 9.15 my phone vibrated on my desk. I looked at the screen. It was Harry. I cancelled it - he knew I was at work, why was he ringing me? A few seconds later it rang again. I glanced around the office and stood up, holding my phone, and walked towards the door. Sarah was fiddling with the radio as I walked past her.

"I'm trying to get Radio 1," she said to me. "Call or Delete will be on in a sec."

"Shh, cover for me a sec," I whispered as I darted out of the room and into the toilets. I answered my phone.

"Hello?" I said.

"Hey!" Harry said, sounding cheerful.

"Hi," I said. "What's up?"

"Nothing, you?"

I rolled my eyes. "I'm at work! I thought it was important!"

"It is."

"OK... so what's up? Have you spoken to Modest or something?"

"No no, it's not that," Harry said quickly.

"Have you not rung them yet?"

"Um, no not yet," he said, sounding uncomfortable.

"Oh, sorry - can't you talk?" I lowered my voice - I don't know why.

Harry cleared his throat. "Um, not really... yeah... so I need your help with something."

"Okaaayyy," I said, unsure why he was being so weird.

"I need you to come shopping with me. I need some new underwear."

I laughed. "What? Why do you need me for that?"

"Well, I want to get some girls' underwear. For me. I like the way it feels."

For a second my heart stopped beating. "Um, what did you just say?"

There was a short pause. "Um, I borrowed some of Gemma's a while back and I sort of developed a bit of a liking for it." His voice sounded strangled.

I didn't know what to say. I was totally blindsided by this.

"Let me get this straight - you've been wearing Gemma's underwear?"

Pause. "Yep."

"Okayy," I said, because I felt I had to respond, but I was totally freaked out.

Silence.

"Does Gemma know you wore her underwear?" I asked.

"Wear. Not wore. It wasn't just the once. I like it, and I want some of my own." There was a scuffling on the other end of the phone, and a sharp intake of breath.

Oh my God - was he crying? I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I was wide-eyed and my face was pale. My heart was pounding. Was this some sort of life-changing revelation for Harry? What the hell was going on?

"What - what kind of underwear?" I heard myself ask. My palms were slick with sweat. I wasn't equipped for stuff like this.

"You know, like silky, frilly stuff." His voice definitely sounded choked.

"OK," I said softly, afraid of what else he might say, and how I might react. "Look, um, I can't really talk about this right now, I'm at work, and I shouldn't be on the phone."

My call waiting beeped in my ear and I pulled my phone away and looked at the screen. Sarah was calling me.

"Harry, Sarah's calling me, I have to go."

"Wait, I need you to help me out with this. Should I go for knickers or a thong?"

What?!

"Wh...which do you prefer?" I asked.

My call waiting beeped again. It was Callie this time.

"I think silk knickers. I like the way they feel against..." there was more scuffling... "against my bum."

I swallowed hard. "OK, so go for those and I'll talk to you later."

"Wait, what colour?"

"Harry, I'm going to get into trouble!" I said weakly. "I really have to go."

"Just tell me what colour!"

"I don't know - black?" I couldn't believe we were having this conversation. It felt like a wind up.

Wait a second.

"Harry, where are you?" I asked.

"Just... just in the car. I'll let you go now. Thanks for that."

"OK," I said.

"Just one more thing before you go, Jess..."

"Mmmm?" I said, biting my nail nervously, wondering what on earth was coming next.

"Do you ever listen to Nick Grimshaw on Radio One's breakfast show?"

It took a second for his words to register, before relief flooded through me.

"Oh my God, Harry," I breathed, as I heard raucous laughing.

"Hi Jess," Nick's voice came down the phone gleefully.

"You absolute ars...."

"You're live, don't swear!" he laughed.

"I'm live right now? On the radio?" I asked faintly.

"Yeah," Harry said, still laughing. "We're doing Call or Delete."

"I am going to kill you both."

More hysterical laughter.

"Sorry Jess," Grimmy sang, not sounding sorry at all.

"You... I thought you were my friend!" I protested, feeling myself starting to grin.

"You took it very well," Grimmy laughed. "Especially the part about Harry liking the feel of silk on his bum."

"I do not want to talk about the feel of silk on Harry's bum," I said, closing my eyes and breathing deeply, and was answered by more guffaws.

"I hate you both," I moaned. "I can't believe you would do that to me! You know how gullible I am! I thought it was some sort of life-changing admission or something."

"Sorry Jess," Harry said delightedly.

"Yeah, sorry Jess," Grimmy echoed, in the same tone.

"Pfft, you couldn't sound less sorry if you tried," I joked, rolling my eyes. My call waiting beeped impatiently - it was Sarah again. "I have to go," I said. "I have a feeling my whole office has been listening to this."

"The whole country's been listening to this," Grimmy said happily.

"Thanks for the reminder," I laughed. "Drinks are on you Grimmy next time I see you."

"Sure," Grimmy giggled.

"And tell your curly haired friend he's not invited," I added.

"Hey!" Harry protested.

"Bye," I said, rolling my eyes and smiling.

"Bye," they chorused, and I turned and walked back down the corridor to my office. I pushed the door open and everyone cheered and screamed and I felt my cheeks blushing crimson as I smiled wryly and sat back down at my desk.

"Shhh!" Sarah was saying. "They're still talking about you Jess!"

"I know where to go if I ever need advice on frilly knickers," Grimmy was cackling.

"Yeah, you're more likely to need that kind of advice than me," Harry's voice came through the speakers. God, he sounded so sexy on the radio.

"She kept very calm, didn't she," Grimmy mused. "She's a honey.... but I guess you already know that."

"Maybe," Harry responded, and I could tell he was smiling as he said it. Sarah screamed.

They started playing Steal My Girl and everyone in the office started talking again.

I pulled my phone out and quickly texted Harry.

To: Harry Styles: That could have been disastrous! What if I'd said something about us??!! xxxx

From: Harry Styles: Does my face look bothered? xxxxx

To: Harry Styles: That only works when I can actually see your face! xxx

From: Harry Styles: Oh yeah. Well, either way I'm not bothered. It'll be out in the open soon anyway. You sounded so cute. I could tell you were panicking xxx

To: Harry Styles: Can you blame me?! My boyfriend calls me and tells me he's been wearing his sister's frilly knickers and likes the way silk feels against his bum!!! You are in so much trouble xxxx

From: Harry Styles: Promise? xxx

To: Harry Styles: I mean it! xxx

From: Harry Styles: Yessssss xxxx

I shook my head and slipped my phone into my drawer and began to work.

~~~~~~~

Harry picked me up after work and told me he'd arranged a meeting with Modest for Thursday evening. He came back to my flat and I insisted on cooking him dinner, and he sat at my kitchen table playing on his phone and chatting to me while I made Spaghetti Bolognese.

"So what are your plans tomorrow?" he asked as we sat down to eat.

"I'm going for lunch and cocktails with Callie and her mum and then going to Fleetwood Mac," I said.

"Can I see you in the morning?"

"If you stay over tonight, yes," I smiled, and he smiled back.

Harry's phone lit up on the table and we both looked at it. My stomach gave a jolt as I realised his background was the photo of me he'd taken in Holmes Chapel. I was standing side on, turning towards the camera with a soft smile, and a couple of wisps of my hair were blowing across my eyes. Even if I hadn't been able to remember my feelings at the time, just by looking at the expression on my face it was obvious I was hopelessly in love with the person taking the picture.

"When did you put that on there?" I asked.

"Today," he smiled. "I love it. It's just perfectly you."

My heart lurched and I looked down shyly at my plate.

Harry began texting on his phone, and looked at me apologetically. "Sorry - it's just Jeff. He wants to know if I can make it over to New York in a couple of weeks for a night out."

"Won't you be back on tour by then?" I asked.

"Yeah, but it's in between dates," he said. "I can fly there and back in between shows."

I shrugged. "Sounds good. A long way to go just for a night out, but good."

"Yeah, I've not seen Jeff in a while though," Harry explained, looking away. He put his phone down and looked at me. "Sorry. I'm all yours now."

"It's fine," I smiled. "So are you looking forward to Fleetwood Mac tomorrow?"

"I can't wait," he said. "I've been waiting for this for months. There's an afterparty - you should come. All three of you."

"Like, seriously?" I asked, staring at him with a mouthful of food. Not attractive, Jess.

"Sure," he said. "My people can talk to your people or something." He gave me half a wink.

I laughed. "My people are far too busy to talk to Z-listers like your people," I teased. "I deal only with the A-listers."

"Oh I see," he smirked. "That's a shame."

"Yeah, for you," I said, poking my tongue out at him and grinning.

"You're pushing your luck tonight," he said huskily.

"Don't start with the sexy voice," I whined. "You're supposed to be the one in trouble, remember?"

"For what?"

"For your cruel wind up this morning!" I scolded. "What would you have done if I'd flipped my lid live on Radio One?!"

"I knew you wouldn't," he said confidently.

"How do you know that?" I demanded.

"Because you're too nice," he answered.

I rolled my eyes. "A mug, in other words."

"No, you're lovely," he said, and his voice quavered slightly. "And I think after all we've been through we must be fireproof by now."

My stomach quivered in return. "Stop making me nervous," I muttered, choosing to ignore the opportunity to sing the lyrics from Fireproof at him.

He looked up at me with a serious expression. "But nobody knows you, baby, the way I do."

Jesus fucking Christ. At least he didn't sing that, I thought to myself.

I leaned on my elbows, pressed my fingers to my temples, and felt my legs wobble slightly under the table. "Seriously, stop it. You can't quote One Direction lyrics at me and expect me to function normally."

"Harry Styles moment?" he asked.

"Full on," I replied, my heart pounding.

"Sorry," he said, and winked at me.

"And stop that, too."

"Stop what?"

"Pretending you don't know exactly what you're doing," I snapped, standing up and putting our plates in the sink.

"My hair's getting in the way, I might have to tie it back," he drawled slowly, smirking.

"For fuck's sake, Harry, do you want me to do you right here on the table?" I blurted before I could stop myself.

"Yes," he said, standing up and pushing his chair back, the smirk now gone from his face and his eyes blazing with desire.

"That wasn't an invitation," I said weakly as he walked over to me and slid one arm around my waist.

"Sounded like it to me," he breathed as he kissed me deeply and lifted me up onto the kitchen table..

-----*****-----

Feel free to message me, I know some of you on here now but I would love to get to know more of you! Follow me on Twitter if you want @scooby_snacks94 , and I'm also on Ask.fm scooby_snacks94 and instagram @scooby_snacks94

Don't forget to vote!!! :) xxx