A small boy sneezed, startling everybody around him. His cat ears swayed as others bristled, and all eyes darted in his direction.

"What gives?" the girl sitting next to him nagged. "How can you sneeze at a time like this?" Her hands squished the blanket, covering her legs.

"Something tickled me," he whispered, searching his pants for a handkerchief with his four arms.

The four-year-old girl pressed her ears against her head as the boy sniveled. She growled low, showing razor teeth with tiny mandibles in the corners.

The older boy snorted. "Here, use mine." He handed his handkerchief. The small boy accepted it and blew his nose loudly.

The old man watched in complete silence. Nobody had noticed how his body jerked or how he gasped for air. The boy couldn't time it any better.

"Grandpa, please, continue your story," asked the four-arm boy once he returned the soaked and sticky handkerchief.

"Of course," the old man agreed, masking his shock with a puff from his pipe. "As I was saying..."

¯\_(^_^)_/¯

Kairo winced, for he never liked this cliché from horror stories. Any loud sound in silence roared, especially the one from inside you. He hated when his stomach rumbled, or when he released winds in a small space. Arubi always kicked him out if he was around.

"Is that central heating?" the boy asked, pointing at the massive, central pipe with many smaller ones.

"More like central cooling."

"Gyahaha!"

A loud guffaw echoed from above, and the bounty hunter assumed a fighting stance, prepared to deflect the first attack.

"Welcome— Guh, koof..."

The dramatic effect disappeared with the wind, just like the anticipation in Kairo's body. His hands limped with his bent back.

After a minute of muffled sounds and coughing, the voice continued, "We-el >koff< come!" A big ogre Oni descended on a platform from the ceiling. He huffed and puffed as he spun a wheel. "Huff, finally." He wiped the sweat from his forehead. "I should get hamsters for this," he mumbled, straightening his back with a snap.

Kairo's eyes narrowed with his mouth hanging. The Oni's waist had extra tires that the tiger skin could snap any moment. The bandit flexed his muscles in an impressive gesture, but the mass only wobbled. His thick leg stomped the railing, giving his unpolished toenails all the spotlight nobody asked for. He wiggled his thick eyebrows as if he was flirting. The picture in the magazine had to be made centuries ago, or the artist was blind.

"Welcome to your last sto-o-op!" Goro stuttered, his leg slipping down the railing.

Trying to look cool when the gravity wasn't in his favor was a bad idea. He recovered his posture with sweat over his forehead. The boy slumped his shoulders, ignoring the fact that bandits surrounded them. Dogs and wolves were the most common, but it would be unfair to mistake them with underdogs and werewolves since the latter didn't have fleas.

"So, what do you say, squirt?" Goro asked as if he hadn't messed up his entrance.

Kairo checked his non-existing wristwatch and answered, "Too bad, but according to my schedule, I must accompany you to your date tonight."

"My ad in the dating tabloid worked?" The Oni's voice boomed, vibrating with every bandit that had too much free space in their skulls.

"Totally!" The boy showed him a raised thumb. "A big fight broke around your ad, but only one could win."

The bandits shouted their congratulation or whistled; some even took off their pants to use them as flags, but thankfully, they were in back rows.

Goro pulled his moving platform up with great enthusiasm and speed. The duo stood there, waiting for the next few seconds to tick away. Soon, a row of bandits blew away as their leader rushed through the crowd.

The Oni's head shone with an overdose of grease. Pink ribbons with green polka-dots were tangled into his eyebrows and around small horns. His dark red jacket was decent, accenting with his tie. He switched his tiger skin for trunks decorated with tiny tiger heads.

Kairo's mouth twitched. What a surprise. This may be easy for once.

"Who's my beloved?" the Oni asked. "Tell me! Exaggerate! Gloat! Daydream!" he encouraged him, begging like a small child.

The bounty hunter took Goro's elbow, guiding him out of the building. The door opened, basking them in sunlight. Their skins turned goldish, and confetti rained on them. Rows of bandits stood on both sides, waving at them.

"More beautiful beauty would be impossible to find in this roundworld," Kairo sweet-talked Goro. "Many hours went into warming--I mean, turning her hot."

The ogre played with his tie. "Do you think she'll like me? Am I too bald?"

The boy winked. "I can tell you it makes you one smexy bomb."

Goro peeped as his face gained purple shade. His smile turned wavy, and his hands couldn't stop playing with his tie, ripping it.

Arubi checked on the situation behind them. The bandits blocked the door, waving at their boss with clean handkerchiefs. They were never washed or used since most of them had sleeves. After all, it was science-proven those were handier. The rabbit only tapped at his forehead. What a bunch of weirdos.

Kairo, meanwhile, continued his little speech, "You are her type. Her warde--I mean, her guardian recommended you for your flawless reputation."

The ogre couldn't contain his excitement, as he slapped the boy on the back, slamming him into the sand. "You don't say!"

Kairo spat out the sand. Arubi clutched his paws, stopping his muzzle from touching the sand at the last millimeter. There were perks in having claws. Well, his partner would differ, but his complaint was nothing that couldn't be scratched.

Goro's excitement lasted for a few seconds as his eyes fell on a paper on the ground. "What's this?" He picked it.

Kairo's mouth widened as he turned around on all fours. His hands left no pocket unturned, but the wanted poster was gone. The ogre's face darkened under his frown. Kairo's gulp accompanied Arubi's sigh.

"So you are a Bounty Hunter..." Goro muttered.

"Let's not resort to violence," the boy reasoned with a sheepish smile as he stood up. Goro grabbed Kairo's shirt, and before the bounty hunter could say, "Oh, crab!" his body crashed into bandits standing in the door. Several bandits got injured, but there was no damage to the property.

Kairo massaged his shoulder as the central pipe stopped his abrupt return. He gritted his teeth, keeping his hardly polite thanks mumbled. "Come on. Why can't it go easy for once?" he complained, watching the leader dashing back.

"Don't you know the main precept of every strategist?" Arubi asked as he narrowed his fur.

"Which one?"

"When a battle starts, throw away the plans and improvise." The rabbit put his arms akimbo.

"How can I improvise when I already was?" he barked, tossing his arm into the air.

"Exceptio regulum probat."

"Don't start Latin with me." Kairo crossed his arms, tapping his fingers.

"So you thought—huff," Goro said with ragged breath, reaching the door and pointing at them. "You can outsmart the Great Goro?"

"It's rude to point at others," Arubi rebuked.

Steam poured from the lard on the ogre's head. "Get them!"

The bandits launched at the duo, from the agile lizard soldiers and the good old jackals to a bunch of vultures starting air raids. A heavy ax wielded by a polar bear cut the floor between the hunters, and the mass of bodies divided into two streams, each pursuing one hunter.

Kairo hissed as he and Arubi separated, but he had no time to worry. He avoided a blade, as any cut in his already damaged clothes resulted in buying new patches. Earning money was already hard. He had no need to spend it on never-ending repairs.

A quick jab and kick made a small path for the boy, but it didn't last long as the stench of unwashed bodies filled it. Just what he needed: a reminder he'd taken the last bath two months ago.

He jumped on one jackal's face, propelling himself into the air, and a quarter of his hat separated from the central part as a vulture cut through it. Dang! Stealing a new hat is hard! What if it turned his bottom fat?

The bandits didn't care for his worries as they slashed their swords, cutting themselves. Only a few lucky fools grazed Kairo's trousers, and the latest winner got a heavy blow from the boy's wagasa umbrella.

It moved in his hands with ease like it wasn't made of solid iron, sending every target to a dreamland. His weapon offered him a mix of defense and offense, but the vultures proved to be a pain for his hat.

As he pivoted in the air, he noticed Goro seemed to be drowning in the mass of his minions. Three bandits were making their colleagues lighter to quicken their movements. A group in the corner chatted, and if there weren't a duo playing rock-scissors-paper, Kairo would return his diploma from his correspondent course 'How to turn filthy rich in less than eighty minutes.'.

He jumped over the last row of the mass and dived into a corridor. The echo of his strides returned to him. His trained eyes spotted pipes below the ceiling as he dashed forward. The humbug from behind told him the bandits didn't take turns in entering, blocking the entrance.

Kairo smirked. Two zero for me. The boy followed the corridor, his eyes surveying for a hint of nearby treasure. His arms zinged, knocking down bandits who caught up to him without Kairo noticing.

He turned a corner or two before he reached an open area and as he closed into the center, he slowed down. Big tanks next to each other stood around the room, each with a control panel hidden in a thick layer of dust.

Kairo wasn't an example of tidiness, but even he would consider calling a cleaning commando at this state. Among the number of thick pipes, wheels, measuring devices and panels, appeared an increasing number of yelling bandits. Kairo smirked, grabbed his umbrella, and one swing sent the first row down.

The next group wasn't smart or fast on catching the hard-hitting hints, and they followed the first group's example. As Kairo retracted his weapon, a wide grin spread across his face.

The boy kicked backward, saving one bandit from a visit to the dentist. The rest of bandits decided to keep their distance, as Kairo proved to be a hard target.

The bounty hunter turned toward them. "Who's next?" He beckoned them with a taunting gesture. The way his wagasa rested on his shoulder suggested he only played with them. "Don't be shy." His ears twitched, and he assumed a less relaxed pose. The ground sent out a vibration in his direction. He looked over his shoulder. "Oh, crab."

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