'''Only Human'''

Written by Cathe

Song by Christina Perri

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Plot : The Team was celebrating their victory against the Oni, but Lloyd decided to get some air. He then starts thinking about the awfully depressing things in his life.

Info : In Lloyd's POV. Is set after Season 10: March of the Oni. This is an alternate universe. Minor Llorumi, and minor Platonic GreenFlame.

Warnings : Depression! Suicide!

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A/N : All I can say is, this is junk. Terrible. I just had the idea and decided to write this in school. Lloyd is soo OOC (out of character), and I'm so disappointed at myself. I hope you enjoy this terrible oneshot...

~~~

Lloyd's POV

I walked out of Chen's Noodle House. Well, technically it belonged to Skylor, Chen's daughter, now but the restaurant was still called Chen's Noodle House because it belonged to the Chen Household.

Probably wondering why I was just there. Well, we managed to stop the Oni with the Tornado of Creation and after the ceremony we had with the handprints on the Monastery Mural, Skylor insisted that we had a party to celebrate our victory. She also offered for us to have it at her noodle house. So we agreed.

I told the others that I needed to take a breather outside, that's why I left the building. They all said that they allowed me to so I left without another word, but I made sure that I didn't look suspicious while leaving.

Before all this happened, I'm talking about the Sons of Garmadon 'till the Oni, I was just a kid in a teenager body. I was happy and I felt like a normal person. Well, as normal as I can be. I'm the prophesied Green Ninja and I'm a kid who wasn't allowed to play or do anything a normal kid does. All I have ever done in my life was train and train.

I know the guys cared about me, and they still do, but they don't really understand the painful things I had to experience.

I feel very selfish for thinking this way, but it's sadly true.

People in Ninjago think that just because I'm the Green Ninja, I will always be the one to save them. That I don't have any feelings, but when it comes to reality, I'm pretty much just like them. I'm a human being, not a god.

And just because I have special elemental powers and a legendary title, doesn't mean I'm any less of a person than anyone else.

Everyone calls me lucky, or special. But what's the reason for them calling me that? Is it just because I was prophesied to save everyone? Is it because of my powers?

Probably. Because if I didn't have them, no one would recognize me, or even care about me. My friends wouldn't care either.

The only reason the four original Ninja, Kai, Jay, Cole, and Zane, even bothered to take me in was because of my uncle. If it wasn't for him, I'd still be living in the streets.

Who knows what could've happened if I wasn't given the proper education of being good. I could've turned evil, like what happened to Harumi. You know, after much thought, Harumi and I really do have a lot in common.

We both had terrible pasts.

We both had been hurt a lot even if the person doesn't do it on purpose.

We both were practically orphans when we were young.

We both hurt each other. I did it unintentionally because of my stupid past self, and she had only wanted for me to feel the emptiness that she felt.

It worked.

The Sons of Garmadon incident was what made me who I am today. It was my first time having a crush on someone. Then I got heartbroken.

It seemed that the only thing the world wants to do to me is to torture me, to make me suffer. In every fight, I've lost a lot of things that were dear to me.

I lost both parents when I was very little. My dad went to the Underworld and my mom abandoned me at Darkly's. Then I found out that I had to fight my father, but thankfully, I got him back in the process.

But then I lost Zane, or so we all thought. He's a robot and he managed to rebuild himself but got captured by Chen. And the only way to defeat Chen was by banishing my good father to the Cursed Realm.

Again, it looks to me that the world is always trying to find ways to break my heart. Losing my dad when I was little hurt me, but losing him the second time, it broke my heart even more.

To make matters worse, after that happened, I got possessed by a ghost who wanted to be the Green Ninja. Morro hated me because I was chosen, but he did help us at the Day of the Departed so I guess I kind of forgive him for what he did. Kind of.

When the Hands of Time came, Master Wu got lost with them. Every time I gain someone who cares for me in life, they always appear to depart as soon as possible. It hurts more than any physical pain could ever cause me.

Harumi was right. Physical pain could only cause so much.

She was my worst and best mistake.

I fell for her. Fell in love with her in general, but I also fell for her trick. Deception. Lies. Everyone in the world is always lying to me.

Harumi stitched the pieces of my heart back together when all hope seemed lost, only to break everything into tinier pieces in the end.

Her betrayal left a great impact on me. She was my first love, and she will be the only one person I will ever have a love affair with. She betrayed me, but that didn't stop me from still being in love with her. I can never get her off my mind, no matter how hard I try.

Harumi is the only girl I ever fell for. And I know that no one could ever replace her. The talks we had, the gazes we shared. It felt all too real and that's why I'm never planning to fall in love again.

Love makes you happy, but it comes with a price. Everything good has a price. It's never free.

Love helps distract you from bad things, but heartbreaks could hurt even more. Breakups. Fights. Arguments. All those and other things that indicate a toxic relationship.

The love that me and Harumi shared was nothing more than a fake relationship. I loved her for real, but she was just pretending. It looked like it was the start of an even deeper romance, but that was the thing. Looks can be deceiving. I can never seem to get that into my mind. I'm too gullible. I fell for many tricks in my life, but Harumi changed that about me. Her incident made me more cautious, you could say. From now on, any girl or person I meet, I'll be sure to be careful around them before warming up.

After Harumi, my dad was resurrected. But he wasn't who I remembered. My father was kind, but this version of my father was pure evil. I thought I could reason with him and change him, but that was just my desperation talking.

When he charged at me, that was when I knew I couldn't do anything to help him. When he attacked me, I was scared. I didn't want to attack him because he was my father, but I had no choice.

He did injure me badly, but I also had my stupidity to blame. If I had just listened to my friends and stayed, that wouldn't have happened. I would've still had my powers and would've caused less damage.

I couldn't blame my dad and/or Harumi. I was the reason Harumi turned evil. I released the serpentine who released the Great Devourer which caused her parents' death. I was the start of what caused my father's resurrection, and what caused the love of my life to turn to the dark side.

I admit it, Harumi will forever be a part of me until the day I die. I loved her, and I still do. Nothing and nix will ever make me romantically love anyone else other than Rumi.

Everything bad that happened to Ninjago was because of me. Why was the serpentine released? Because of me opening the first two tombs. Why was the Overlord able to cross to our world? Because Uncle Wu had to fetch my dad from the Underworld to save me, then father left and accidentally released the Overlord, because of me.

I thought I had defeated the Overlord, but he came back and Zane sacrificed himself to save all of us. Zane was the one who permanently destroyed the Overlord, not me. I was supposed to be the one to destroy him, not Zane.

My real dad then sacrificed himself to save all of Ninjago by cursing himself to the Cursed Realm. I should've been the one who was cursed, not him. In that event, Morro escaped and possessed me. Morro wasn't the only guilty one, he was using my body which meant that I, too, was guilty. But I didn't die or get a punishment because I'm the legendary, almighty Green Ninja.

The Hands of Time. Wu sacrificed himself so that Nya and Kai could return to help Ray. Say I'm wrong, but from my point of view, it seems to me that I never end up being the one that saves the day. It's always someone else who takes my place. Who saves the world from destruction. When it should've been me.

The Green Ninja doesn't always have to save the day, but I've never even done that a single time. The Sons of Garmadon. That criminal syndicate never would've been created if I hadn't had unintentionally killed Harumi's parents. Harumi would've been the kind, sweet girl that died the day her parents died.

And if it wasn't for me accidentally leading Harumi to create the Sons of Garmadon, the evil Lord Garmadon never would've been resurrected. Yes, I defeated him but where is he now? He left and no one knows what he's doing now. For all I know, he could be plotting some type of revenge plan on me and my friends.

See? I never defeat a villain for good. Lord Garmadon destroyed the Great Devourer for good. Zane destroyed the Overlord for good. My father, Garmadon, destroyed Chen by banishing him and himself to the Cursed Realm. Nya defeated Morro by creating a tidal wave that sunk the Preeminent. Wu was the one who stayed on the Iron Doom and made sure the Time Twins couldn't make it back. The Oni, we all destroyed them, as a team, not me individually.

Getting out of my thoughts, I realized that I had walked to the top of Borg Tower. I must've been really deep in thought to not notice coming up here. I looked over the edge of the tall tower, seeing how far the fall would be. Anyone who fell off would die instantly. No argument about that.

I got up and looked around behind me. No one was in sight. Cyrus Borg must be asleep, along with his employees because there was literally no one around. I could only hear the sound of machines whirring underneath me.

Sighing, I went back over to the edge.

What was the point to keep living if I only cause trouble to Ninjago?

So far, all the villains we've faced, pretty much either I was the reason for their existence or I wasn't able to truly defeat them.

If I jumped, at least I'll be out of my misery. And Ninjago would be safer without me anyway. I'm the legendary Green Ninja that has never saved the day even once without help from my friends.

A plus to that was reuniting with Rumi. The look she gave me before she died, it had to mean something, right? It was so deep and we both had a connection right then and there.

Maybe if I meet her in the Departed Realm, we could start something new? A fresh start or something like that?

Anyway, I've been needing to do this for a long time. I never received any punishments for my doing while most villains got what they deserved or died. Rumi died. Morro died. Master Chen died. The Overlord died. The Preeminent died. The Time Twins are presumed dead. The SoG are in jail. The Oni are dead.

All there's left who needs to pay for their mistakes is... me.

I deserve this, right?

Maybe this isn't the right decision...

But I feel like I'm nothing but a burden to Ninjago, and the other realms. I only cause destruction wherever I go, even if it's unintentional, I still do it.

Destruction...

I'm part oni and dragon, and also human. Yes, I'm mostly human but I still have oni blood. It runs through my veins, just like father said. He thought I had a choice, but I guess not.

I sighed again. This time, I maneuvered myself onto the ledge of the highest floor of Borg Tower. I was hanging over the side of the building with only one hand supporting me. If I let go, I'd fall.

I had a choice, either let go or climb back up.

My father was bit by the Great Devourer when he was young, way before he met my mother. When my mother got pregnant with me, doesn't that mean that I have the Devourer's poison in me? My father caused visible destruction. But I also create destruction wherever I go, but it isn't visible.

The Serpentine. The Overlord. Morro. The Sons of Garmadon. The Quiet One. Resurrected Lord Garmadon. The Oni.

I caused all this to happen. It's for the best if I'm gone.

Closing my eyes and taking breaths, "This is going to be my final moment. Might as well make it count." I thought to myself before opening my eyes and looking around the beautiful world he was going to leave behind.

"The First Spinjitzu Master tried to make the perfect realm, but because of my father, there may never be lasting peace."

Because of my father? Huh, might as well add myself into the list...

I was about to let go of the ledge when I heard voices chime in.

"Lloyd!"

That was Kai. I looked up and saw the whole team at the doorway to the rooftop, searching for me. I panicked. If I got caught or even seen, they'd lecture me non-stop for the rest of my life.

Wait... the rest of my life? If that's how it is, should just end it now. I sighed loudly, bad mistake.

Just as I was about to let go, I felt a hand over mine. "Lloyd! Dude! What are you trying to do here?! You could've died!" Kai screamed. The others heard the commotion and came over. As expected, they started rambling about how dangerous this was.

I've been through much worse. Really.

Nya came up beside Kai and placed a hand over Kai's and mines. "Don't worry. We'll help you up. Just, uh, hang on tight. Don't let go." She frowned.

I hate to let them down like this, but this is the best for me. The fights are over, no more harm will come their way. The final, FINAL, battle was over.

Using my ninja skills, I turned my body around and used both hands to support myself. I was facing my friends now. All their faces held a worried look.

"This doesn't seem normal for you, Lloyd," Jay spoke up, "What's bothering you?"

I looked down, "I don't want to talk about it." I said in annoyance.

Kai frowned, "Well, you better. I know you, Lloyd. You'd never try to attempt suicide."

"I detect... depression and guilt coming from you, Lloyd. But I see no reason for you to be guilty nor depressed, you have just saved Ninjago from harm again." Zane explained.

"Agh! I already said that I do not want to talk about it." I snapped, "Just leave me alone." I grumbled.

Cole raised a brow, coming down to my height, "We're here for you, buddy. You don't have to keep stuff from us, ya know?"

"Look," I started, "I care for Ninjago's safety, but I always seem to be the start of the chain reaction." I admitted.

"Chain reaction?" Jay asked, "What chain reaction?"

"Don't you ever notice? I released the Serpentine and my dad had to come back. He accidentally released the Overlord because he had to come back. And also for Harumi!" At the mention of her name, all my friends had angered looks, "Don't be mad at her. We all know that the only reason she's like this is because I was the indirect cause of her parents' death. Her past self adored us, but I failed her."

"Don't say that-" Nya went on to say but I used one hand to swat her hand away.

"NO! Don't try to lecture me out of this. I'm nothing but burden so..." I trailed off at the end, not wanting to say goodbye.

"You're not a burden. You're out family." Kai stared at me with a look.

I sighed for the third time today, "Ninjago is our main priority. And since I am the start of the chain reaction, I think it's best for me to be gone." Seeing my friends' faces, I decided to add, "You guys are my family. I love you guys but... I'm doing this for Ninjago." I looked down.

I finally let go of the ledge. I felt myself fall, the adrenaline of the fall reminded me of the time I tried to save Harumi from Samurai X.

I thought I was finally gonna meet my end but then I felt someone grab my hand. Looking up, I saw Kai.

"Let me go, Kai." I muttered. He was hanging onto my hand while the others were creating a chain with Cole at the top, holding everyone.

"No, I promised to look after you, didn't I? I'm not planning on breaking that promise, Lloyd." His voice cracked as his eyes were starting to fill up with tears.

A tear slid down his face and dropped from his chin. It fell on my cheek and I exhaled while smiling at him, "You looked after me for the longest time ever. You're like a real brother to me, Kai. And I'll never forget that, but this is me trying to protect the 16 realms."

"NO!" Kai roared, "We nearly lost you in the aftermath of the Tornado of Creation, and now you're trying to leave us? WHY?!" He asked.

"I don't have a choice." I mumbled in sorrow, "Sadly, this is how my legacy ends. I started this with you, and I'm glad that I managed to finish it with you too."

By now, Kai's whole face was stained with tears. What was meant to be a happy day of victory, turned into one of the saddest days ever experienced by us, Ninja.

"N-No! Don't leave me, Lloyd. I need you. We need you. Your mom, a-and Master Wu!" He was getting desperate, I could tell just by hearing his voice.

"You don't need me. Kai, I love you and the others like you're my family. Promise you'll never forget me?" I asked.

Kai looked hesitant, "P-Promise?" His voice cracked, "That doesn't sound good... What does that mean, Lloyd?!" He roared.

"Just promise me." I placed my other hand on the hand he used to keep me from falling.

After a few seconds passed, we all heard Cole shouting, "What's going on down there? Can I pull you all back up yet? My arm's getting sore."

Kai and Lloyd looked at each other again as the Fire Ninja nodded, "In that case, I-I... I... I-I pro-promise, Lloyd." He smiled sadly.

"Good."

Ninjago was my number one priority. And it still is, but nothing can ever replace the importance of my family. Goodbye, Ninjago.

Goodbye, my friends.

And with that...

I let go.

~~~

The End

I can hold my breath
I can bite my tongue
I can stay awake for days
If that's what you want
Be your number one

I can fake a smile
I can force a laugh
I can dance and play the part
If that's what you ask
Give you all I am

I can do it
I can do it
I can do it

But I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
'Cause I'm only human

I can turn it on
Be a good machine
I can hold the weight of worlds
If that's what you need
Be your everything

I can do it
I can do it
I'll get through it

But I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
'Cause I'm only human

I'm only human
I'm only human
Just a little human

I can take so much
'Till I've had enough

'Cause I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
'Cause I'm only human