20

"Ma!" Luke called me while giggling. I made some airplane sounds while directing the spoon with mashed potatoes to her mouth. Noong naisubo niya ay mas lumawak ang ngiti niya habang ngumunguya.

Napapasayaw pa siya habang ineenjoy ang almusal niya at hindi ko mapigilan ang ngiti ko. I just can't help but be in awe as I stare at my daughter. She's too beautiful, too precious and too sweet for this world.

She's the most amazing thing that came from the terrible lie of her father.

"Mama, what this?" she asked while pointing to the boiled bananas. Inilapit ko iyon sa kanya bago ako kumuha ng medyo maliit na hiwa.

"Boiled banana baby. Gusto mo?"

Ngumuso siya, her chubby cheeks becoming more prominent as she nods. "Ba-na-na," she sang as she opens her mouth for the spoon. Her eyes sparkled as she eats wholeheartedly. Nguya lamang siya ng nguya hanggang sa maubos niya ang mashed potato niya at isang pirasong nilagang saging. Noong matapos siya ay agad ko siyang kinarga.

I grunted a bit when the brunt of her weight was felt on my shoulders. Mabilis na niyakap ni Luke ang aking leeg bago niya tinuro ang banyo.

"Mama, wash my face. It's sticky," reklamo niya. I giggled then kissed her cheeks.

"It's sticky?"

Ngumuso siya, "I'm dirty. Auntie Sese told me it's bad to me dirty cuz monsters would eat your face. Mama is that true? Would monsters take me away if I don't washie?" she asked while playing with my curls. Pumasok kami sa kwarto bago ko siya ibinaba sa kanyang kama. It's a baby blue princess bed complete with ribbons and laces. Dowdy and Blues, her favorite teddy bears, were at the headboard. Mabilis siyang gumapang palapit sa kanyang mga laruan bago kinuha ang kanyang mga stuff toys.

"Mama it's Tatie's birthday already. What are we going to give her? She loves gifts! Sabi niya she wants new doll daw," Luke said. She put her teddies on her lap before giggling.

"Do you want to look for a doll today? Let's go out, huh baby?"

Namilog ang mga mata niya bago ngumiti, "You not gonna work?" medyo bulol pa niyang tanong. Umupo ako sa harapan niya bago ako umiling.

"Nope. Mama's gonna stay with you the whole day."

Her brown eyes, eyes that she got from her father, got bigger. Ilang sandali pa akong napatitig para lamang mamangha sa mga mata niya. How could you look so much like your father Lucille Kailha?

"Leally?" she confirmed. Natawa ako ng bahagya dahil alam kong she meant really. Pero mana yata ang anak ko kay Neron na bulol sa letrang 'r'. Kinurot ko ang pisngi niya bago tumango.

"Yes, do you want to buy toys too?"

"Hmmn, I want a skateboard Mama.Katulad nung kina Chasin, please," she begged. My heart throbbed when she mentioned a skateboard. Mabilis lamang akong tumango at niyakap siya ng mahigpit.

Mabilis ko siyang pinaliguan bago ko siya binihisan. Saktong iniipitan ko si Luke noong may mag doorbell sa tapat ng aming pinto. I carried Luke with me and looked at the peephole. I gasped when I saw my friends standing at my doorsteps. Mabilis kong in-unlock ang aming pinto at pinagbuksan sila.

"Gosh! What are you doing here?" salubong ko sa kanila. Serise rolled her eyes before pulling me into a hug.

"Hey bitch!" she called. Tumawa lamang ako bago hinalikan ang pisngi ng aking pinsan. Her eyes darted to Luke who was staring at her.

"Auntie Sese!" Luke giggled. Kinuha ni Serise mula sa akin ang bata at pinaghalik halikan ang pisngi.

"Hey Ea!" Noah greeted me. Lumapit ako rito at agad siyang niyakap. Tiningnan ko silang dalawa bago ko giniyang pumasok.

"What about Matthew and Cai? Kasama ninyo?" tanong ko. Umupo si Sese sa aming sofa habang kandong si Luke.

"Yeah. Pero na kina Rome sila. You know, babysitting duties. Mas kailangan ni Rome ng katulong lalo't apat na ang anak niya," Se said. Noah looked at me before sitting on one of my bean bags.

"May lakad yata kayo ni Luke?" he asked. Luke giggled when Serise kissed her neck.

"Hmmn, ang bango bango naman ng baby," she said. Napangiti lamang ako bago muling bumaling kay Noah.

"Oo, mag mamall sana kami. Bibilhan namin ng regalo si Tatie," sagot ko kay Noah. He nodded before looking at my daughter who was busy talking to her aunt. Bumalik iyong tingin ni Noah sa akin bago siya tumikhim.

"How's life Ea? Have you finally gotten over that jerk?" mayabang niyang sabi. Serise rolled her eyes before smacking Noah with a throw pillow.

"Maka-jerk ka Noah. Parang hindi mo kauri iyon," maarteng sabi ng pinsan ko. I just smiled before looking at Luke who was staring at us. She pouted before extending her arms towards Noah. Mabilis na binuhat ni Noah ang aking anak bago kinandong.

"He's a bigger jerk than I could ever be Se," katwiran ni Noah bago nilaro si Luke sa kanyang kandungan. I just sighed while looking at my daughter. She touched Noah's face before giving him a small kiss. Pakiramdam ko ay dinurog ang puso ko habang nakatingin kay Luke, halatang sabik sa isang ama. Serise touched my shoulder, understanding written all over her face. Sinandal ko lamang ang aking ulo sa kaniyang balikat bago huminga ng malalim.

"Don't worry Illea. Luke will not grow up feeling unwanted," pangako ni Serise sa akin. Noah nodded before fixing Luke's braids.

"Thank you," I sincerely said. Noah got up before putting Luke above his shoulders. My daughter's laughter filled the whole room, her eyes lighting up with pure joy. Lumapit ako kay Noah habang si Sese naman ay tumabi sa akin.

"Let's go. Samahan ka na namin sa mall," aniya. Sinamahan nga nila akong dalawa sa mall, with Serise paying for everything that Luke wants. Hawak hawak ko ang kamay ni Luke habang naglalakad kami, with Noah carrying all the shopping bags that we have.

"Mama, why do we buy lots of toys? Di sayang sa money?" Luke asked while we are riding the escalator. Tumawa si Serise bago hinarap ang aking anak.

"No honey. Shopping helps many people, remember that huh? Montreal ka, Lucille, kaya dapat maging matulungin ka sa mga tao," my cousin preached. Napailing na lamang kaming dalawa ni Noah bago nanahimik. Of course, Serise, you really shop for the people. Haay.

Hindi tumigil si Luke sa kakadaldal habang si Sese naman ay sinasagot bawat tanong ng aking anak. Nakarating na kami lahat lahat sa fastfood na pinili ni Luke ay dumadaldal pa rin silang dalawa.

Naunang umupo si Se dala pa rin si Luke kaya kami na ni Noah ang nag order. We went to the cashier to buy our food when I heard an annoying laugh at my far right. Nilingon ko iyon para lamang makita si Tarrah na nakakapit sa braso ni Trey habang may itinuturo sa menu.

"Gusto ko ng float. Like, dalawa, please," she annoyingly said. Hindi ko namalayan na kami na pala ni Noah ang umoorder. Naramdaman ko ang kamay ng aking kaibigan na umikot sa aking siko at hinila ako.

"Ea?" he called. Tiningnan rin niya ang tinitingnan ko bago siya nagmura. He immediately covered my line of sight before hissing.

Inatake agad ako ng kaba lalo na sa kaalamang nasa malapit lang na mesa ang aking anak at maari siyang makita ni Trey sa kahit na anong sandali. My wide eyes stared at Noah's and he nodded.

"Do you want to go somewhere else?" he whispered. Another giggle erupted from Tarrah and I curse mentally. Ang sakit sa tenga ng boses ng dagang ito! Damn!

"Thank you Trey. I so love you much talaga," she said. Hinawakan ni Noah ang aking palad bago niya ako hinatak palayo. Bumalik kami sa mesa ni Serise na nakikipaglaro pa rin kay Luke. Noong makita kami ng pinsan ko ay agad na kumunot ang kanyang noo.

"What?"

"Let's go," Noah said. Kinarga ni Serise si Luke habang nagmamadali kaming tatlo sa paglabas. Nauna ang aking pinsan habang si Noah ay nakaalalay sa aking likod, iyong palad niya ay nakahawak sa aking beywang.

Serise went out first. I gave Trey one last look only to see him staring at me. Tumaas ng bahagya ang kilay niya bago umigting ang panga. Like a predator chasing his prey, he immediately stalked towards me. Kumapit ako sa braso ni Noah bago ko tiningnan ang pinsan kong bahagya ng nakakalayo mula sa amin.

"Illea, let's go," Noah said. Humakbang na ako palabas noong may humatak sa akin pabalik. I stumbled backward and hit something hard. Nabitiwan ako ni Noah bago may kumabig sa akin palapit.

"Noah Festines," I heard his baritone voice say. Napasinghap ako bago pumiglas sa hawak niya. The nerve of this man!

Bumaba ang mata ni Noah sa kamay ni Trey sa aking balikat bago niya binitiwan ang mga hawak na shopping bags. I tried wriggling away but Trey kept his hold firm.

"Let her go Trey," Noah warned. His jaw moved a little before taking a step forward. My heart raced as Trey gnashed his teeth, silently containing his anger.

"Fuck me if I'll do that," he hissed. Nilingon ko si Serise na nasa may dulo na ng floor ng mall, nanlalaki ang mata sa aming tatlo. Luke was obliviously playing with her new Barbie doll while my cousin was left dumbfounded, not knowing what to do next.

Tumikhim ako ng kaunti bago hinawakan ang kamay ni Trey sa aking balikat. I removed it and he hissed when I did it. Mabilis akong lumapit kay Noah na agad namang humawak sa akin.

"Tara na Noah," sabi ko sabay hila sa aking kaibigan palabas. Hindi pa man kami nakakailang hakbang ni Noah ay agad ng humarang si Trey sa amin. He glared at Noah before looking at me.

"Illea, baby please," he pleaded. His eyes became red with desperation as he stared at the two of us. Huminga ako ng malalim bago sinulyapan ang pinsan kong sumakay ng escalator para bumaba. I felt my phone beeping in my pocket and I breathe a sigh of relief.

"What is it Trey? May lakad pa kami ni Illea," Noah said. Trey's face turned red from fury as he snatched Noah's collar. Napatili ako lalo pa't hinila na ni Trey si Noah at ibinalya ito sa gilid.

"Fuck you ka Festines! Hanggang dito ba naman!" he roared. Mabilis akong lumapit at pumagitna sa kanilang dalawa. People started crowding us but Trey kept on holding Noah.

"Trey, what's happening?" a voice called out. I harshly looked at Tarrah who was busy sipping her float. Her eyes widened when she saw me. Mabilis siyang lumapit at hinila ang braso ni Trey palayo kay Noah.

"Trey ano ba. People are staring—"

"I don't care!" he angrily said. His chest rose and dropped in bottled fury. Nilingon niya ako na nakapagitna sa kanila bago niya pabalyang binitiwan si Noah.

"Tangina Illea, bakit?" napapaos niyang sabi. Tarrah stared at me and I was reminded of that moment when I saw the two of them together. I remembered the moment he threw all of his promises for the woman he was beside with. I remembered each and every scene as if it was a movie playing inside my head.

"Bakit Trey? You're so unfair!" sagot ko pabalik. Tarrah rolled her eyes and pulled Trey away.

"Let's go na nga Trey, people are looking na," she said, pulling the unmovable Terrence Fortalejo. Lumunok ako bago ko tiningnan si Tarrah na matalim ang titig sa akin. The heck! Siya pa ang may karapatang tumitig sa akin ng ganyan.

"Tigil tigilan mo yang paninitig mong yan. Tutusukin ko yang mata mo, makikita mo."

Her eyes widened with my threat. Noah held my shoulders before looking at Trey who was just staring at us. Huminga ako ng malalim habang si Trey ay nakatitig lamang kay Noah.

He looked so defeated as we march away from him. Sumakay kami ni Noah sa escalator habang ako ay hindi pa rin mapakali. I stared at Trey who was looking at the two of us before Tarrah pulled him away. Inakbayan ako ni Noah bago siya alanganin na ngumiti.

"Ayos ka lang?" he asked. I halfheartedly nodded before looking at them again. Noong makababa kami ay tumikhim si Noah.

"Did you know Ea, that he lost his license as a professional boxer?" Noah said. Tiningala ko siya habang papunta kami sa parking lot kung saan naghihintay si Serise.

"Why?"

He smiled ruefully, "Binugbog niya ako Illea. He was furious at me because I stole his girl. Akala ko si Aria iyon kaya.." tumigil siya bago ako nilingon. Napatigil naman ako sa paglalakad at naiwan na nakatitig lamang kay Noah.

"Galit na galit siya kasi inagaw ko raw sa kanya iyong babaeng mahal niya," mahina niyang sabi. Napalunok na lamang ako at nilagpasan siya, hindi na inalintana iyong kaba at takot na nararamdaman ko sa aking dibdib.

"Pero sa tingin ko Illea,mali ang hinala ko. It was not Aria—"

"Noah please!" basag ang boses kong sabi. Noah just shook his head before pulling me. He cupped my cheeks and stared at me.

"It was you Illea. You caused him his dreams, his reputation, his pride and his ego and yet..it is still you. It's still you," he said. Mabilis ko siyang tinulak dahil hindi ko kayang pakinggan ang bawat bagsak ng salita niya at kung paanong unti unting nagigiba ang pader na pinaglalaban ko kapag naalala ko kung gaano kawasak ang mga mata ni Trey habang nakatingin sa akin kanina.

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