24

I've never been this happy. Kahit kailan ay hindi ko naisip na madali lang palang sumaya basta mayroon kang McFreeze, BFF fries at double cheeseburger sa harap mo. I've always believed that food can easily give ladies the perfect happiness, but right now, as I eat with him I've come to the realization that I am happy right now, as in fucking happy, because he is simple here..with me. Na kahit tinapa pa ang nakahain sa harapan ko ngayon, magiging masaya pa rin ako dahil siya ang kasama ko.

Damn it. That's how hopeless I am when it comes to you, Fortalejo.

He took my burger before lifting the top bun. Isa isa niyang inalis iyong pickles na kinaayawan ko bago niya nilagyan ng ketchup at fries iyon. He put the bun again before aiming it at my mouth.

"Here, eat," utos niya habang nakaumang iyong tinapay sa bibig ko. Pinamulahan naman ako kaagad ng pisngi habang siya ay nakatitig lamang sa akin, hinihintay na isubo siya—ehem, isubo iyong burger na hawak niya. Shit.

I opened my mouth to take a bite from the burger when he smiled with pure satisfaction. Napailing na lang ako habang iyong puso ko ay parang lulundag na sa sobrang kalandian nito. He bit his lip then rubbed the corner of my mouth to remove something.

"May sobrang ketchup. Ang balahura mo talagang kumain kahit kailan," pagalit niyang sabi. I pouted cutely at him and he answered with a roaring laughter. Dinampot ko ang isang piraso ng fries bago iyon isinawsaw sa sundae ng float niya.

"Oh ayan! Para pareho tayong balahura," sabi ko sabay punas noong sundae sa pisngi niya. Mabilis niyang iniwas iyong pisngi sa akin bago hinuli iyong braso kong hawak ang fries. He groaned like a preying lion before pulling my wrist towards him.

He cocked his head on one side while the hand that was holding my arm slid towards my open palm. Pinagsalikop niya ang aming mga kamay at ganoon na lang ako nabulabog sa ginawa niya.

I stared at our interlaced fingers as I was consumed by longing. Ngayong hawak niya ako ay doon ko naramdaman ang bigat ng tatlong taon na paghihiwalay namin. Having his hand on mine gave me a foreign yet recognizable feeling. Habang magkahawak kamay kami ay di ko maisip kung paano ko nalampasan iyong mga panahon na wala siya sa tabi ko, noong nangungulila ako sa kanya.

Siya kaya, ganoon din? Did he miss me the way I longed for him? Did he spend sleepless nights thinking about me too? Did he experience the crushing pain I've gone through when I lost him?

Sa loob ng tatlong taon na iyon ay sinubukan kong magmahal ng iba, umaasa na baka sa pagkakataong iyon ay maari na akong tuluyang lumigaya pero sa bawat subok ko ay palagi lamang akong nabibigo. I've kissed countless men, but I never felt anything for them compared to what I am feeling right now when I am with Terrence.

He stared at me with an intensity matching that of a hurricane. I consciously squirmed on my seat as he looked at me, burying his gaze straight to my soul.

"I can see the gears churning inside your pretty head Illea. What are you thinking?" he asked. Binitiwan niya ang burger na hawak bago sumandal sa kanyang upuan, hinihintay ang aking sagot.

Kinabahan ako sa klase ng titig niya, sa mga salita niya, sa mismong tanong niya. Natatakot ako na sabihin sa kanya ang iniisip ko dahil baka hindi ko marinig iyong sagot na gusto kong marinig.

But then, nothing will happen if I would be consumed because of fear, right?

My mind debated all the pros and cons when Trey squeezed my hand. He gave me a loving smile before lifting my palm before placing his mouth on it to softly kiss it. Para naman akong natunaw noong maramdaman ko iyong mababaw na halik niyang iyon.

"What were you thinking about babe?" sabi niya bago idinikit iyong kamay ko sa kanyang pisngi. Huminga ako ng malalim, tahimik na iniipon ang lakas ng loob bago pa man iyon tuluyang lumipad sa hangin.

"You."

Nanlaki ang mata niya sa sinabi ko. His gaze became wary as he looked at me. Nagkaroon ng gitla sa kanyang noo at nagsalubong ang mga kilay niya habang sinubusukang intindihin ang sinabi ko.

"Why? What about me?"

"I was just thinking if.." tumigil ako bago huminga ng malalim. I stared at Trey's too brown eyes before sighing. Pakiramdam ko ay nakatitig ako sa mata ng aking anak habang nakatingin ako sa kanya.

Luke I'm with Papa right now. You really share the same eyes with him, anak, alam mo ba iyon? Do you also know Luke that your Papa gave me the most painful heartbreak and yet I still love him with all the broken pieces of me. Isang malaking patunay ng pagmamahal na iyon ay ikaw Lucille. You are the evidence that I am deeply inlove with your father.

The chaos of the fastfood chain where we were eating equaled the chaos inside me. Half of me wants to just bolt out of this place and run. Doon naman kasi ako magaling, ang tumakbo at magtago ng nararamdaman. A greater part of me wants to just throw the question in the air and listen to his answers. For once, I just want to be honest.

I gave him a sad smile before shaking my head. Tuloy tuloy na ang kaba ko kaya yumuko na ako, takot na tingnan ang mga mata niya.

"Masaya ka ba?" kahit na ikakasal na si Tarrah, gusto ko sanang idugtong pero pinigilan ko ang aking sarili. Trey pursed his lips before pulling my hand tighter.

He nodded and my heart immediately jumped and stopped at the same time. His intense gaze made my knees tremble, mabuti na lamang at nakaupo ako dahil baka bumigay lamang ang binti ko sa sobrang tensyon.

Ngumiti siya na para bang nasa kanya na ang lahat ng kailangan ng isang lalaki sa mundo na ito bago siya bumuntong hininga. He sighed a breath of relief before shrugging his shoulders.

"You're here with me Illea. That's more than enough reason to be fucking happy," imbes ay naging sagot niya sa akin. My breathing hitched before I smiled back at him. Unti unting kumalat sa aking pisngi iyong init at agad akong pinamulahan.

I felt my heart swelling with joy so foreign. Sa sobrang saya ay mabilis akong bumitaw sa pagkakahawak niya at kita ko ang pagpinta ng pagtataka sa mata niya pero mabilis akong umikot sa aming lamesa. Umupo ako sa kanyang tabi bago ko hinuli ang kanyang mukha. Nanlaki pa ang mata niya pero hindi ko na siya binigyan ng pagkakataong umangal. I immediately crushed my lips in his surprise mouth for a kiss.

Naramdaman ko pa ang ngisi niya habang hinahalikan ko siya. Wala na akong pakialam kung nasa publiko kaming lugar. Wala na rin akong pakialam sa ingay ng mga tao sa paligid namin. Kumapit siya sa aking beywang at mas hinila ako palapit sa kanya at siya na ang kumontrol ng halik.

He gently nipped my lower lip before finally letting me go. Pinagdikit niya an gaming mga noo bago inayos ang medyo nagulo kong buhok.

"Do you love me now Yturralde? Did I successfully replaced that bastard in your heart, huh?" tanong niya. Blanko ang ekspresyon niya bukod sa mata niyang nanginginig habang nakatingin sa akin. I can feel his hands shaking too. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang dahilan, kung dahil ba sa takot o sa sobrang kaligayahan.

Kung alam mo lang Fortalejo, na dati pa man ikaw na talaga. Eventhough we've been apart for three years, you are the only one I've yearned for. Sayo ko pa rin gusting umuwi. I think what I feel for you is not just simply love. It's more than that. It is terrifying, and yet I can't stop.

Huminga siya ng malalim bago ako hinila at niyakap ng mahigpit. He kissed the side of my head before whispering to me.

"Ayos lang kung si Noah pa rin naman. Sapat na sa akin na may puwang na ako Illea. Kahit ilang beses mo naman kasi akong ipatalo Yturralde, lalaban at lalaban pa rin ako. This is a fight I don't intend to lose babe."

Sa sinabi niya ay tuluyan na akong naluha. Mas niyakap ko siya ng mahigpit para tahimik na ipaalam sa kanya kung gaano ako nagpapasalamat sa pagdating niya sa buhay ko.

My skateboard pendant dug into my skin as Trey hugged me tight. Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko at doon ay parang narinig ko ang boses ni Papa. And then it hit me, that maybe Papa is watching me now. Na baka kaya hindi bumitiw si Trey sa akin dahil ginabayan kami ni Papa.

Humiwalay ako sa kanya bago ko hinaplos ang kanyang pisngi. Did my father lead you to me Trey? Did my father send you to me? Kung ganoon nga, sobra sobra ang pasasalamat ko Pa, dahil sa wakas pagkatapos ng ilang beses kong pagkabasag, tuluyan na akong magiging masaya.

"I am so in love with you Fortalejo," mahina kong sabi. Nanlaki ang mata niya sa narinig bago siya napailing. His eyes became bloodshot and then, a lone tear dropped from his eyes. When our gazes locked once again, his eyes were filled with desire and affection that made my heart crunch.

"There's no way in hell I would let you go now that I've heard that," he huskily said. Tumawa lamang ako bago ako tumango.

"Damn, hindi mo alam kung gaano ko katagal hinintay na marinig mula sayo yan Illea. Hindi mo alam.."

The day went by smoothly. Hindi na kami bumalik sa kanyang opisina. We just drove around the city for hours, making up for the lost time. I never opened about the past and he didn't ask anything regarding what happened three years ago. I know we both wanted to savor the moment and opening the events years ago would just ruin this.

Tomorrow, I would talk to him tomorrow. Pero hindi ngayon, wag muna ngayon. I won't shatter this happiness yet.

Huminto ang sasakyan niya sa ilalim ng isang burol. Inalalayan niya akong bumaba habang para siyang batang ngumingiti sa akin.

"Where are we going?" I asked him. His boyish grin grew wider before putting his arm around my neck.

"Come, I'll show you something," aniya. Hinila niya ako at nagsimula kaming akyatin ang maliit na burol. Noong makarating kami sa tuktok ay sinalubong ako ng papalubog na araw.

The pink and orange hues of the setting sun matched the purple waves of the ocean. The sky was slowly becoming a mix of blue and black, signaling the coming of night.

Humampas sa dalampasigan iyong alon habang tahimik kaming dalawa ni Trey na nanunuod ng takip silim. He sat on the grass before pulling me to sit between his legs. Noong makaupo ako ay agad niyang pinaikot ang mga braso sa akin para hindi ako makawala.

"Why did you bring me here?" tanong ko. Ipinatong niya ang kanyang baba sa aking balikat bago siya sumagot.

"Your father told me that he confessed his love to your mother on a cliff—"

"Si Papa?" gulat kong tanong. He nodded before looking at the edge of the cliff.

I never knew that part of my parent's story. Kung ako nga na anak, walang alam paano pa...

He stared at me. "I know what you're thinking. Illea, ilang beses kong nakausap ang Papa mob ago ang aksidente. At first he didn't like me, he thought maybe I would hurt his princess," natatawa niyang sabi bago siya umiling.

"I quite understand him. Siguro kapag tayo ang nagkaanak, aayawan ko rin ang lalaking susubok" medyo natatawa niyang sabi. I felt my blood freezing when I heard what he said.

Luke...

"So yun nga, I was asking your father for ways on how to make you love me, because I damn well know you are still in love with Noah—do you know your father never liked that bastard for you! Hah!" parang bata niyang sabi. Pilit akong ngumiti kahit na kinakabahan ako sa mga sinasabi niya.

"Well, while I was asking he told me about how he confessed to your mother on a cliff. Hanggang yung kwento na iyon umabot sa pagbubuntis ni Mama mo hanggang sa paglaki mo. Your father told me everything about you Illea. He told me that he was afraid that you're going to lose yourself because you love too much."

I lowered my head upon hearing his words. The cold wind blew and he pulled me closer to his body.

He gave me a chaste kiss on my lips before continuing.

"H-hindi ko akalaing magugustuhan ka ni Papa," sabi ko. He smiled ruefully before nodding.

"Akala ko rin. Ang hirap ligawan ng Papa mo," natatawa niyang sabi. I just smiled as memories of Papa flooded my mind. His dimpled smile, his angelic voice, his brilliant mind. God Pa, ikaw talaga ang nagdala sa amin dito, hindi ba?

Even if you're dead, you're still my superman Papa.

I still remember Pa, when I was still a young girl, sasakay ka sa skateboard mo at isusuot iyong pula nating kumot. I would cheer so hard because finally, Superman has arrived. Superman will help me with my problems. Superman will love me even if everybody thinks I am a fake. Superman would accept my flaws.

And now Pa, my Superman, you have finally given me your greatest gift. Pa, look at him, is he the one meant for me? Sa kanya mo ba ako ipagkakatiwala?

Panibagong ihip ng hangin ang muling humaplos sa aming dalawa at doon napapikit na ako. I can feel my father somewhere near. I can almost hear him telling me to just do it. Here's your chance for happiness Illea.

"Illea.." Trey called me. Muli ko siyang hinarap.

"I promised Mr. Yturralde that I will love you so much Illea. I will give you the love you deserve. I will give you more than that. I will give you everything that I have and you will never feel that you are not enough."

"Mamahalin kita ng sobra Illea, hanggang sa lahat ng sakit na naranasan mo ay makakalimutan mo. You will understand why it didn't work out with Rome and Noah because you were meant to work it out with me." he whispered seductively. His lips were just centimeters away from mine and I just held my breath, waiting for the moment that he would finally close the distance.

"You were meant for me, Mrs. Fortalejo," aniya. Doon ay tuluyan na niyang sinakop ang nag aabang kong labi. Mabilis kong ipinulupot ang braso sa kanyang leeg hanggang sa matumba na kami sa damuhan, with him under me.

Hey Pa, do you think..maybe this time, I would finally be happy? Kasi Pa, sa kanya ko lang gustong sumaya. Sa tingin mo Pa, pwede na kaya?

Pwede na ba, Superman?