I Feel Anger
Thank you to Avaloyuru, Tiemna, fateclaws, slut_for_pizza, crystalily2003, nathalieAlice, and Elf_of_hogwarts for voting and commenting on the previous chapter! An additional thank you to siso_sissan and Averyloves2write who started reading My Word and whom I am thrilled to welcome along for the ride. Welcome!
Harune went in search of his apprentice. He found Galion cleaning silver.
"Master Harune," Galion said with a nod.
Harune said, "If I snapped at you earlier over the dishes on the tray, forgive me. It was not my intention."
Galion looked at him mildly. "I know you were upset by Lord Elrond's words. I was not insulted nor were my feelings hurt. I assure you an apology is not in order but I accept it nonetheless."
Harune smiled. "You are learning well, Galion."
"I am glad to put my passion to use under your guidance," the elf replied. "And this lesson in grace is not lost on me."
"Being able to put aside pride and apologize makes up a big part of kindness," Harune agreed. "And you are learning it well. You must excuse me now, Galion, but I have promised to accompany my son to the cherry orchards after lunch."
"And you will forgive me, Master Harune, when I say the reason I am cleaning this silver is because of your son."
Chuckling, Harune left the room.
OoOoO
Thranduil sat down at the table and picked up his fork. He inquired of the four elflings, "How did you get on?"
"We were late to the library for our lessons," Legolas said. "There was a slight delay coming back from the archery fields. My arrows were stolen, you see. We all been ordered back to the library after lunch to help sort all the books that have come back." He had a face.
Thranduil pursed his lips. "That seems suitable punishment. Do not make a habit of being late to your books, any of you."
Legolas nodded solemnly. "Yes, ada."
"And you, Elrond?" Thranduil asked.
"I cannot say my hour's contemplation amounted to much or changed my mind," Elrond answered. "I . . . did notice the twins have developed more grace and agility."
Elladan suddenly choked on his food and fumbled for his glass of water to gulp it down. He wiped his lips and targeted Elrond with a stare. "Perhaps we have developed more grace and agility, as you put it, because we have the freedom to run and wrestle. We have the freedom to come home stained in mud with briars in our hair and not have to fear being beaten by you. You never let us roam in the woods; you kept us from being dirty and having any fun at all."
Having delivered his outburst, Elladan snatched his fork and started on his salad. Elrohir returned to his food, fidgeting under Elrond's irritated stare.
Lunch ended without discussion returning to the topic. Alone in the living room, Thranduil brought the discussion to a head. He and Elrond sat facing each other in the armchairs by the empty hearth. The open window admitted the sounds of wind in the trees and floating laughter.
"And you thought of nothing, you say, from your early years," Thranduil said. "Nothing at all that gave you a hint as to how the twins might be feeling."
Elrond felt Thranduil's eyes on him and felt as if they looked right through him. "I . . . do remember being spanked . . . when I misbehaved."
"But you liked it, no doubt," Thranduil said pleasantly, reaching for his book. "I imagine it must have been good for you. The best thing in the world. You must have been worshipping Maedhros's feet in gratitude for what he was doing for you."
"It hurt," said Elrond with a hint of anger in his voice.
"Imagine that," Thranduil answered, looking up from his book. "I thought it was good for you. Who would have thought pain is the latest kiss? Imagine that." He shook his head.
Elrond wrestled his annoyance under control, feeling as if Thranduil was playing with him. "I do recall briefly resenting my parents after the punishments. But I did not misbehave again for long periods of time."
"Really?" said his companion. "I imagine you must have been afraid of being spanked again. Fear fades overtime, however, so I suppose you must have gone on being naughty after time. And being spanked. The cycle is endless."
Elrond frowned but realized Thranduil spoke truth. "The twins do not realize now what I do I do out of love and a wish to see them grow into good people."
Thranduil slammed his book shut with a gesture of anger. "Indeed! You feared your parents, Elrond, and emotions you wanted to express you kept bottled inside you because you knew speaking out against the spankings would land you in a world of trouble. You felt helpless and trapped. The twins felt that way for years. And unlike you, they could not live in cages, subjected to the wills of those bigger and stronger then them. Bullied without mercy by the heartlessness of the ones who claim to love them. You disgust me!
"How would you feel living in a room without a door, Elrond?"
"I never felt trapped," Elrond declared heatedly. "I was glad to have my life and a roof over my head."
"I do not blame you considering the circumstances but I think your parents set a poor example abandoning you are your brother."
"They realized the world had bigger things for them in store then looking after my brother and me," Elrond replied. "They had no choice but to leave us."
Thranduil's eyebrow twitched. "Elrond, you came to me a few days ago and asked me to help you learn to love your sons. What you did to them a few days ago is not a way to show love or teach discipline. I cannot teach you if you are not willing to learn!"
"I see nothing wrong with the way I chose to reward them for their behavior," Elrond said stiffly.
"You hurt them, Elrond. You cut them with a knife only you can hold. You have them a taste of pain you will not give a kiss to. Did you not see the shattered look in their eyes?"
"They seemed fine to me out in the woods."
"Where you were not present to command them," Thranduil said. "And no, they are not fine. They wept during the night in Harune's arms and dreaded sitting down at the breakfast table with you. They are still stinging from what you did to them. Tell me, Elrond, if the twins cut themselves, would you comfort them?"
"I would."
"It is a confusion to the twins that you would kiss a bruise or cut made by a rock or tree but not kiss the red marks the flat end of the hairbrush left on them. It is confusing, quite frankly, to me."
"If you understood spanking is done out of love, you would not be confused. You would know, as Elladan and Elrohir know, it hurts at the time but soon fades, and teaches obedience."
"I do not understand how hitting the one you helped create can be said to be done out of love," Thranduil said. "It is done out of anger and impatience. It is done out of desperation. I have slapped Legolas before, as I have said, but I have never claimed I hit him to teach him something."
"That is where you are mistaken. Spanking is done out love, with calmness and never anger."
Thranduil shifted in his chair. "Elrond, you are so accustomed to your way of dealing with things, you do not stop to think. You do not take five minutes to sit Elladan down and explain to him why what he has done is wrong. You do not take five minutes to sit Elrohir down and talk to him about his behavior. You leave them in pain and walk away because you do not have the patience or time to connect with your children and help them through their troubles. You do not have the time to be a father."
Thranduil shook his head. Elrond stared at him.
"You accuse me of having no time for my sons? Celebrian and I have spent hours out on picnics, sitting in the living room and talking, or playing games."
"That is all very well and good, Elrond, but when it comes to dealing with behavior you do not like, you do sit down and exercise patience. There is a lot more to being a father then spanking."
"You simply do not understand!" Elrond snapped. "Spank Legolas the next time he misbehaves and perhaps you will come to understand!"
Thranduil's face darkened and his lips pinched together. Both elves look up as someone moved in the doorway and Legolas stood staring at them with wide eyes. "A-ada—are you going to—?"
"Take the advice of an elf whose children are hurt? No, my little leaf, I would do no such thing. The world could not give me enough to make me turn you over my knee and hurt you. I would not trade your trust in me for anything."
Reassured by Thranduil's warm words, Legolas said, "Will you come with me, ada? Landion, Harune, and I are going to the cherry orchard to pick berries. Harune said if we pick enough he would make pies."
Thranduil rose to his feet and went to join Legolas, ruffling his blond hair with a smile. "I would be glad to as long as you promise to help me instead of running off."
Legolas grinned. "I will stay, ada."
Thranduil gave Elrond a wave. "Good afternoon, Elrond. Legolas, do the twins not want to join us?"
"Elrohir went out on a walk with Glorfindel as soon as we were done in the library," Legolas answered. "Elladan is still in the library sorting out books. There was a small disagreement and Elladan was ordered to stay in for more time."
Thranduil nodded in understanding. With his pleasant goodbye delivered, Thranduil swept from the room. Elrond slumped in his seat and buried his face in his hands, cursing Thranduil and cursing the twins. They had succeeded in turning his life into a living hell. After a moment, he righted himself and went in search of Elladan. The elfling was not in the library and a small stack of books still sat on a table. Frowning, Elrond looked on.
Elrond found his son sitting alone on the balcony, slowly eating the last crumbs of a pie. An open book lay beside him, the evidence of a still life he now demolished sketched out on the page. An empty glass and a feather were all that remained.
Elladan looked up to greet him and wiped his hands clean. He gave a cool nod. "Elrond."
"Ion," said Elrond. He studied the cool visage of his son. "Celebrian is worried about you. She sent a letter. She wants you and your twin to come home. She misses you and she wants Arwen to know her brothers."
"Home?" said Elladan. "This is my home now, Elrond. Rivendell never sheltered me or gave me love. I do not wish to return to life under your roof. I do not wish to see my sister beaten for refusing to share her toys."
Elrond bristled. "Elladan, Arwen will not be beaten for refusing to share her toys. Do not talk such rubbish."
"I was beaten for refusing to share my toys with Elrohir," Elladan contradicted. "I remember it clearly. We were sitting in the living room by the hearth with the stuffed animals you gave us. Elrohir wanted my horse and I would not give it to him. Celebrian told me to let Elrohir have it for a bit and I said no."
"You were not beaten, Elladan, for the love of Eru!" Elrond exclaimed.
Elladan appeared to consider. "You took my horse and gave it to Elrohir because he was screaming. And you led me to your bedroom. You pinned me over your knees and smacked me until I stopped screaming and cried. I had no wish to play after that, and I have hated the stuffed horse ever since."
Elrond's eyebrow twitched. "You have learnt nothing over the years. Perhaps it is because I have not been spanking you hard enough."
Elladan snatched his book and darted toward the door. "I do not care to carry on this discussion, Elrond. I have suffered enough under your hand and I am done with it."
"Are you going to the library?" Elrond demanded.
"No," said Elladan.
"You have not finished sorting the books you were given," Elrond said.
Elladan frowned. "You do not know a thing about my punishment. I—"
"You crept off and left the job undone. That is not the kind of dishonest behavior I expect from my son, Elladan. You were given work to do as a punishment. I do not care how ineffective it may be, you will return and finish it."
Elladan drew himself up. "No, I will not. I—"
Elrond rose to his feet, his face stern. "This is the reason spanking must be employed. If you are not left knowing there are severe consequences for misbehavior, you will grow into an unruly, undisciplined person."
Elladan backed away. "No—if you hurt me, I will tell Thranduil!"
"Thranduil is not here," Elrond replied. "And I am your father. I will not tolerate your behavior. Either you obey me and return to the library or I will punish you."
Elladan swallowed and his arms tightened around his book. "I do not have to go back to the library, and you have no right to make me. I—"
Elrond's hand closed over his wrist and wrenched him close. The elf's eyes were angry while Elladan's eyes were rapidly filling with desperate tears. Over his knees the elfling was turned, his clothes wrenched up. His son shrieked and hollowed, writhing as he fought against the tight hold pinning him down, jerking with each smack landing on his behind. Elladan wriggled and managed to slam his elbow into Elrond's stomach. As the elf gasped and loosened his hold, Elladan tumbled free, stumbled to his feet, and fled.
"Elladan!" Elrond cried, leaping to his feet to pursue his son. He slowed his steps and walked past the guards posted in the hallways without displaying his frustration. The elves cast him curious looks, their minds turning over Elladan's sudden departure.
Outside the closed door to Elladan's room, Elrond knocked. A resounding slam had told him Elladan had sought refuge in his room.
Readers: Thank you all for reading! I love hearing from you, reading your thoughts, and answering your queries as much as I can (without giving anything away, of course!)
Next Chapter: Will Elrond "punish" Elladan for his behavior?
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