I close my eyes
Darkness follows
Oh, so dreary
Oh, so lonely
Once again
I'm locked in
And lost in
Confusion

Self hate
It's a debate
Over who I will be
Or be who I will
I cannot decide
It's a scary ride
To fully come out
On the other side

This is no secret
My mouth formed the words
That I wish I could reject
Inside I have no respect
For the true person I'm afraid to be
I can't help thinking, "Why me"

Praying these nagging thoughts are just an illusion
But my reassurance is unfortunately losing
Because I can't seem to shake the images that play in my head
Of the gender I'd rather be with instead